For the BF mums, why did you choose to BF, esp if you found it tough at first?

[summer rain]

In the UK, the kosher regulations are extremely stringent so Kosher foods containing meat or made from meat are completely dairy free, as a Muslim most kosher foods are also considered halal, yippee! Unfortunately I have read on Dr. Sears that in the US traces of milk proteins have been found in the kosher deli meats there. Its also handy to know that if you get a flight, the kosher meal usually has a meat or fish main course; thus everything else in the meal including margarine, bread roll, dessert etc is also certified strictly dairy free according to Jewish law. I found this out by accident as the halal meal on the way back from the US on British airways flights is actually Kosher with just some bombay mix stuck in there (yes really lol). I'll be ordering the kosher meal if we have to fly anywhere in the next 6 months or so.

 

[Foogirl]

Breast milk is free, there is no faff, and it's the way things are done in my family.

Even if there were no difference between breast milk and formula in terms of nutrition, I'd still have breast fed.

 

[Leesie]

My reasons for BF'ing have changed over time. Before I fell pregnant I just wanted to BF as it was what I grown up seeing- my mum was a passionate full-term BF'er of two much younger siblings and although it was painfully embarassing at times (she would BF in front of my friends which was mortifying ), I have fond memories of watching her BF'ing and to going to LLL meetings with her and watching the babies enjoying their booby-time.

Once I fell pregnant I became more aware of the benefits of BF'ing, and was determined to give it my best shot. I never wanted to have any regrets about the way I fed my LO and felt BF'ing would give him the best start in life.

We had a few problems in the first months;
tongue tie (corrected at 4 weeks)
wounded, bleeding nipple
2 months of stubborn thrush

And there were many times I wanted to quit but the more time went by the more determined I became despite the rough patches. After a few weeks I felt that if I gave up then all the pain, tears etc.... would have been for nothing. I also had a sense of satisfaction/pride that my milk was the reason why he was thriving.

Now I feel I am really reaping the rewards and have a whole new set of reasons for BF'ing (and continuing to BF):
the closeness I feel with my LO when he nurses
The ability to comfort him with my breast no matter where we are
The ease of use- no bottle paraphenalia, nursing while co-sleeping
The relaxation I feel when I BF- it forces me to slow down and appreciate my LO
No periods yet

Can you tell I loooooove BF'ing!!!!!

 

[funny_face]

I sometimes wonder if the 'bonding' thing about BF is said by observers rather than those BF? I'm sure for everyone like me there is someone who disagrees, but I wouldn't say I bonded with her MORE because of BF. When I look back on the first year, I see a big difference in my OH's relationship with LO now than in the beginning - but I think that is 100% down to the fact that we are 1st time parents and you have no clue what you're doing in the beginning Although I had protected time with LO when we were feeding, a lot of the time was spent worrying if she was latched on properly, was I comfy, was she comfy, should I take her off before she falls asleep or not? Plus we had thrush for half the year so while it might have looked like a lovely bonding relationship, it was the other parts of the day that cemented the bond I think, does that make sense?

I think some people look from the outside at a new father sitting a bit like a spare part next to a BF mother and feel sorry for them, but I don't think it affects the bond at all! My OH has fed LO a bottle a handful of times, and they are so close! He has bathtime which is more fun for him anyway as they can make a mess together, lol!

Anyway, I BF because I wanted to my whole life. It is inseperable from being a mother to me, and I can't change that about myself (not that I'd want to). I'd have dreams about BF when I was pregnant. And (being brave here, and ducking for cover) formula makes me feel a bit funny, it kind of gives me the heeby jeebies. Again, totally me - I'm not saying there is actually anything wrong with it, but I can't seem to get past it I've always had a weird thing with mik, it started in primary school when we used to get cartons of warm milk and now when I see warm milk or anything vaguely related to it, it makes me feel weird.

The way I look at BF is like this - if someone offered to tailor make all of your clothes for you, so that they fitted you no matter whether you were having a fat or thin day, whether you felt like dressing up or not - no matter the occasion, and offered to come to your house and deliver them free whenever you wanted them, day or night, why would you choose to go to the shops in your own time, to pay for clothes that had been sized to fit the average person?

My breastmilk is Zoe's tailor made breastmilk, I literally couldn't buy it anywhere else as it's made for her alone. And it's different every time. Formula may suit her, but it may not as she may not always have average requirements. Sometimes she'll need something a bit different and formula can't change to suit her.

Again, sorry if these points have been made. Just stating why I BF, and really it's just my reasoning

 

[Foogirl]

Anyway, I BF because I wanted to my whole life. It is inseperable from being a mother to me, and I can't change that about myself (not that I'd want to). I'd have dreams about BF when I was pregnant. And (being brave here, and ducking for cover) formula makes me feel a bit funny, it kind of gives me the heeby jeebies. Again, totally me - I'm not saying there is actually anything wrong with it, but I can't seem to get past it I've always had a weird thing with mik, it started in primary school when we used to get cartons of warm milk and now when I see warm milk or anything vaguely related to it, it makes me feel weird.

Again, sorry if these points have been made. Just stating why I BF, and really it's just my reasoning

Don't need to apologise for feeling that way about formula feeding, some ffers choose to do so because they feel the same way about breastfeeding. It's horses for courses IMO.

And I'm with you on the school milk thing. She was totally slammed for it but I was so glad Thatcher was a milk snatcher

 

[samface182]

great thread, BFers never get asked this question, but FFers always do!

i've never had any problems with breastfeeding really. he latched at birth, then didn't again until my milk came in. i was feeding him with a syringe until then. it never once crossed my mind to give him a bottle. and i'm glad i didn't because i love feeding him.

i chose to breastfeed because of the health benefits, the ease (not having to sterilise, worry about different types of milk, different bottles, the price or formula, etc.) the bond between mother and baby (not saying FFers don't bond with their baby, but i love the fact that it's only me that he can feed from, it makes me feel special )

also, i've never had a sleepless night with him. he co-slept for the first 5 months, so when he woke up for a feed in the middle of the night, i just had to turn round and pop my boob in his mouth and go back to sleep! (he sleeps in his cot now that he doesn't need fed during the night)

breastfeeding was the best decision i have ever made and i don't want to give up anytime soon!

 

[Dragonfly]

I sometimes wonder if the 'bonding' thing about BF is said by observers rather than those BF? I'm sure for everyone like me there is someone who disagrees, but I wouldn't say I bonded with her MORE because of BF. :

With me I have a strong bond with both my sons but then I havnt done any other type pf feeding. It is different for everyone though if your dont enjoy it then you arnt going to bond to well ie be in pain etc. I feel it though but took a while to get there as i had problems to.

ps we got milk in tiny cute glass bottles every Friday with hot dogs in primary school . Was so nice.

 

[samface182]

oh and also, i just didn't like the idea of giving my baby powder to drink. it just made me think of me drinking powdered milk when i was skint! not saying there is anything wrong with formula! just the way i saw it!

 

[aliss]

IMO (and please don't shoot me), I felt more bonded when feeding him EBM than when I did formula. I'm sure part of it was that I wanted to give him BM rather than formula throughout my pregnancy and felt disappointment when I had to supplement, but IMO I felt more bonded when I was giving him BM which was a 'part of me', iykwim?

For me, who was never able to feed him from the breast (therefore it was always bottle), it still made a bonding difference.

 

[Dragonfly]

IMO (and please don't shoot me), I felt more bonded when feeding him EBM than when I did formula. I'm sure part of it was that I wanted to give him BM rather than formula throughout my pregnancy and felt disappointment when I had to supplement, but IMO I felt more bonded when I was giving him BM which was a 'part of me', iykwim?

For me, who was never able to feed him from the breast (therefore it was always bottle), it still made a bonding difference.

I dont think anyone should shot you down for how you feel, its just how you felt and your experience.

 

[chetnaz]

Thank you ladies for sharing all your stories and reasons with me. You've all made this a great thread. Like many of you said, it was never a consious decision for me also. My mum has 6 kids (me being the youngest) and is very pro-bfing so for me bfing is natural. Thats what boobs are for after all. But I have to say, although all the problems I had in the beginning just made me more determined to bf - the latest issues i'm having with my DS1 had started to make me question if I made the right choice after all. Don't get me wrong, I love bfing, but I don't want it to be at the expence of my eldest son's happiness. I don't think it would have been a problem if I had just one baby - but with two to feed, I just have no time for him anymore and that's the saddest thing of all.

I'm so happy that I have been able to give all my lo's the same start, and espeically proud of myself that I stuck it through and managed to bf the twins. Have to say, very glad that they are now on solids and the feeds are now a little less!

 

[Leesie]

And (being brave here, and ducking for cover) formula makes me feel a bit funny, it kind of gives me the heeby jeebies. Again, totally me - I'm not saying there is actually anything wrong with it, but I can't seem to get past it I've always had a weird thing with mik,

I feel the same way about milk. Any milk whether it's powdered or normal cows milk makes me feel a bit queasy. I've been that way since childhood and cannot bear the idea of drinking the stuff.

 

[Jchihuahua]

When I was pregnant I decided I would give breast feeding a good go but if it didn't work I'd not stress about it. When Daisy was born I still felt that way but when she was placed on my chest within 5 minutes she'd started rooting around and latched herself on and had a good long feed, all her own doing. It was just amazing and felt the most natural thing in the world. She knew what she wanted and she knew what to do and from then on I vowed that we'd make Bfing work whatever it took. I had an awful first two months. Mastitis which was just awful and I felt like I was going to die, endless sleepless nights being up feeding for hours on end, bleeding and split nipples that made me cry everytime she latched on. I'd dread every feed and have to bite down on something when she latched on. I nearly gave up a million times but the support of my hubby, and the ladies in the Bfing forum kept me going, and here I am still Bfing happily over 13 months later .

 

[teal]

I had a difficult start, my milk was delayed in coming in (midwives said to was due to a difficult delivery and losing a lot of blood), I had cracked and bleeding nipples within the first week, then my son was a slow weight gainer and dropping through the centiles so my hv put the pressure on to switch to formula.
I kept at it because I didn't really think of formula as a suitable alternative (for me) and I felt that it was best for my son.

I do wish when midwives were promoting all the benefits that they mentioned I might find the first few weeks hard. I really didn't expect it to be as painful as it was in the beginning.

Almost 11 months later and we're still breastfeeding xx

 

[freckleonear]

I sometimes wonder if the 'bonding' thing about BF is said by observers rather than those BF? I'm sure for everyone like me there is someone who disagrees, but I wouldn't say I bonded with her MORE because of BF.

Interestingly, I've heard several women on here who have both FF and BF various children say that the bond with their BF child is different and deeper. Like you, I wouldn't have said I bonded with my children more because of breastfeeding, so perhaps it's something you only notice if you've done both. I like the way Dr Sears puts it when he says that a bottle-feeding mother can achieve the same degree of closeness with her baby but she just has to work at it harder.

 

[aliss]

I sometimes wonder if the 'bonding' thing about BF is said by observers rather than those BF? I'm sure for everyone like me there is someone who disagrees, but I wouldn't say I bonded with her MORE because of BF.

Interestingly, I've heard several women on here who have both FF and BF various children say that the bond with their BF child is different and deeper. Like you, I wouldn't have said I bonded with my children more because of breastfeeding, so perhaps it's something you only notice if you've done both. I like the way Dr Sears puts it when he says that a bottle-feeding mother can achieve the same degree of closeness with her baby but she just has to work at it harder.

Yes it's quite hard to explain but even someone like me who has only bottle fed, it felt more bonding with the EBM. But I suppose that also depends on your expectations, if I wanted to give formula anyways then perhaps the bond would not be affected. But I *did* want to give BM so when it wasn't happening, I had a degree of sadness with the formula.

 

[EmmaM2]

i've just given up (well down to one breastfeed a day) - my lo is just about 6 months. I found it tough at times like many others (mastitis, low supply, poor latch, rejection of one side, inability to express - the list goes on) but the main problem was my lo never thrived on my milk and was not gaining sufficient weight. After the last 2 weeks of formula and weening he has finally hit the 25th centile - woop woop! Anyway - i feel a sense of relief to not be bf anymore but i will definately do it again with the next one - i found the bonding experience amazing and couldn't imagine not bf again. I never considered not giving it a go, it is the done thing in my family and i wanted to try and give my baby the best start i could. I just hope it is more successful next time.

 

[sjminimac]

i went into it completely eyes wide shut, so blasè about the whole thing 'if it works great if not no worries' type of attitude, with absolutely NO IDEA about how hard it is, any potential issues etc. I just didn't think. The first few weeks were awful, hubby actually went out to buy some of the pre made formula bottles the first night we brought charlie home, it was 5am and we'd spent 12 hours crying and struggling, exhausted, watching demos on you tube. I'm not ashamed of giving him that bottle, i hardly remember his first few weeks because i was so ill after his birth but that feeling of utter desperation will never leave my memory. After that night i knew in my heart i wasn't going to give up, lo has had the occasional emergency bottle but hasn't had one for about 3 months. I now feed in public without a second thought, and am training to become a breast feeding peer support worker from next month. Since that awful night, being a regular formula feeder just hasn't even been an option, and i (personally) don't like formula but accept that it's there and is safe and as i've mentioned he has had the occasional bottle (small pre made 100ml bottles- maybe 5? No more). That's my story if anyone's interested x

 

[sjminimac]

i went into it completely eyes wide shut, so blasè about the whole thing 'if it works great if not no worries' type of attitude, with absolutely NO IDEA about how hard it is, any potential issues etc. I just didn't think. The first few weeks were awful, hubby actually went out to buy some of the pre made formula bottles the first night we brought charlie home, it was 5am and we'd spent 12 hours crying and struggling, exhausted, watching demos on you tube. I'm not ashamed of giving him that bottle, i hardly remember his first few weeks because i was so ill after his birth but that feeling of utter desperation will never leave my memory. After that night i knew in my heart i wasn't going to give up, lo has had the occasional emergency bottle but hasn't had one for about 3 months. I now feed in public without a second thought, and am training to become a breast feeding peer support worker from next month. Since that awful night, being a regular formula feeder just hasn't even been an option, and i (personally) don't like formula but accept that it's there and is safe and as i've mentioned he has had the occasional bottle (small pre made 100ml bottles- maybe 5? No more). That's my story if anyone's interested x

i'm in floods reading this back because i'm feeding charl as we speak and remembering how desperate i felt that night compared to how accomplished we both are now, well, it's mind blowing. In regard to the bond being different, i met with one of the mummies and her little man from bnb last weekend, and the bond she has with her boy is incredible, clear for anyone to see and he's not breastfed for reasons personal to this mummy (not my place to go into), and to put her baby next to mine, both are gorgeous and strong and alert and bright. You couldn't pick out the bf baby in a line up! Xx

 

[bky]

It was normal for me and never crossed my mind that I would have serious problems. Everyone in my family did it and we never even had bottles in the house. I never even thought of formula as an option. I just wasn't used to anyone I knew using it.
I expected the growth spurts and the pain. I didn't expect not to have enough milk and not be able to do anything about it. I had a relatively easy time otherwise, just cracked nipples that stuck to my bra.
I got no support after I had to start supplementing and a lot of stupid and unhelpful advice and it made me so mad I kept going. My midwives told me I wouldn't be able to do it and I would quit and I went to the Dr 4 times and no one would help me. They basically made out it was my fault because I didn't feel right pumping while my baby cried/couldn't pump on one side while feeding on the other etc. I wanted to stop every day until 15 weeks when I realized by baby wouldn't let me stop. I'm lucky that even though I couldn't get any help until much later I did the right things on my own (much to the surprise of the IBCLC I talked to)
Maybe next time since I know what I can expect I'll feel like more of a success when I do it. Because now at almost 7 months I still feel like a failure every day.