funny/ embarrasing labour stories

[17mummytobee]

Hey just wondered if any of you had any funny or embarrasing moments in your labour?
I'm feeling a bit down and could do with a laugh xx

 

[Hannah]

When I went into labour I was really controlled until it came to the emergency section, then I was quite hysterical, the anaesthetist had really bad breath and was right in my face explaining things to me and in my drugged up hysterical state I thought I whispered to my DH "get her away from me, she f***ing stinks" but I actually shouted it at the top of my lungs over and over again apparently, oops!!!

 

[Samantha675]

The one thing that kinda cracks me now. I was laboring hard (5 minute long contractions with very little down time) and after a few hours of this decided to transfer to hospital (planned homebirth). Once we were all pack and I was dressed. I was standing in the bedroom with my MW in the middle of a contraction and she stops and wants to wash my sheets because there was a bit of blood on them. I could barely speak but managed to say " no. Cheap. Target. $20.". I mean really like a bit blood on my bedding is the one thing I care about in that moment.

 

[NIfirsttimer]

i had a natural birth in the birthing centre attached to my local maternity unit, it was all very calm and serene in the early stages, i floated around the pool, progressing slowly but nicely, when suddenly all hell broke loose. Id just been checked about 25 mins before and was 4/5 cm, so we were expecting things to be a while yet... Suddenly i REALLY needed to push, midwife was telling me that it was way too early to be baby, and that perhaps i needed to use the toilet... i was sure it wasnt that, but agreed to try anyway, so got out of the pool and onto the loo. while there, transition hit, and i suddenly got SOOO hot, the student midwife ran off to fetch some ice cubes for DH to rub on my forehead etc, but when she arrived with them i grabbed a handful and shoved them into my mouth, suddenly, a HUGE contraction hit me, and i needed the G&A but had a mouthful of ice, so i spat the ice all over the floor :-o
there i was, sat on the toilet, naked, dripping wet, mooing like a cow, and spitting on the floor.. oh the shame!
turns out i went from 4/5cm to 10cm in less than a hour, and my daughter was born very soon after this!

there was also a little moment when i was pushing when i really wanted to inflict some pain on my DH, so i grabbed 'his' arm and dug my nails in as hard as a could, only to feel the arm whipped away, i opened my eyes to find that id actually injured the student midwife, and left 4 huge cuts in her arm from my nails!!

lol also just remembered that at one point the midwife made me get out of the pool to check progress, and i really didnt want to... later on, in the midst of the transition drama i said 'IM SOOOOOOOOOO SORRRY I CALLED U A BITTTTTTTTTTCCCCHHHHH' and she said 'noo u didnt, its ok' and i told her that i did, she was just out of the room at the time lol

 

[brunette&bubs]

i'm not sure if this is very funny but....
my husband ordered in jimmy johns for dinner and sat on the couch eating VERY loudly while i was waiting for my epidural.
i glared at him and told him i hoped he choked and died on that sandwich.
the nurse then asked him to finish eating outside for my sake

 

[Fallen Ambers]

i'm not sure if this is very funny but....
my husband ordered in jimmy johns for dinner and sat on the couch eating VERY loudly while i was waiting for my epidural.
i glared at him and told him i hoped he choked and died on that sandwich.
the nurse then asked him to finish eating outside for my sake

This actually made me bust out laughing out loud!! Thanks for sharing!!

 

[Jaimie2Eyes]

These are great - keep 'em coming ladies!

 

[proudmumgoth]

On the way To hospital in hard labour leaning out the window
Shouting at cars get out the way I'm having a baby then
crying cos did not have time for a macDonalds

 

[JeepGirl]

On the way To hospital in hard labour leaning out the window
Shouting at cars get out the way I'm having a baby then
crying cos did not have time for a macDonalds

Haha I was doing the samething and I was so hot, so I had the window all the way down and it was snowing. The snow was pouring into the car and OH was shivering

Also in the admitting office I was having strong contractions, I was bent over the chair moaning while OH gave the clerk my info. All I remember about it was the clerk saying "thank god she is pre registered". After they had me registered there was an elevator in the admitting office that took you right to labour and delivery. OH and I get in, the door closes and OH says what floor is L&D? I say "ask her"...there was no one else in the elevator with us!

 

[KatelynsMummy]

When i was first being examined in hospital, she pulled the covers back and out came a water bottle, she asked what else I had hiding up there

I swear it was next to my leg, I was addicted to water when pregnant

 

[amandad192]

I had diarrhoea and my OH had to support me as I squat over a little cardboard sick thingy on a chair. It stunk really bad too.

 

[tristansmum]

i had a spinal block for my emergency c section. i was shattered after being awake for 36 hours, established labour for 14 hours, pethadine and gas & air. I felt my leg with my hand which was weird cause i couldn't feel my hand on my leg at all... was like touching someone else's leg. i loudly abbounced to the 10+ people in thearte that "my leg feels like a sausage!". It was such a random thing to say and 9 months later my hubby still is laughing about it

 

[katy1310]

I'm loving reading these I needed a good laugh!

I didn't have labour as I had an emergency section at 27 weeks so I don't really have much of a story - but I do remember asking DH constantly if he was sure that my legs were not in the air when I was lying on the operating table, because I really really felt like they were! Then when they rolled me off the operating table back onto the bed, I got the giggles, for some reason - I have no idea why, and it was highly inappropriate really considering how premature Sophie was and what a traumatic time I'd just been through with her!

xx

 

[JeepGirl]

I'm loving reading these I needed a good laugh!

I didn't have labour as I had an emergency section at 27 weeks so I don't really have much of a story - but I do remember asking DH constantly if he was sure that my legs were not in the air when I was lying on the operating table, because I really really felt like they were! xx

I asked OH if my legs were falling off the operating table He looked at me like I was crazy.

 

[2RockinBoys]

Here's a story to keep you smiling!
Gas and Air had a perculiar effect on me. A case of 'Talking with no control'. I was very aware of what i was saying, but i couldn't stop myself from saying it!! It was the following...

"We have to put the flavour in the bubble gum"

"All the celebrities have fruit for faces"

Midwife-"You need to push
Me-"I cant"
Midwife-"Why not?"
Me-"I cant stop thinking about johnny depp"
Partner-"Oh thanks, that makes me feel really good about myself"
(And i wasn't thinking about johnny depp, so i really dont know why i said that!)

Also, after having Auron, being so tired with the long intence labour i passed out (i remember having him put on me and staring at him, next thing i knew it was 4hours later...) Anywho, the midwife came in and started talking to me, to be told by my partner that i was actually asleep as my eye's were partially open

 

[tiger]

i have a few
after ringing the hospital having contractions and them telling me i wasnt in labour i decided to go to my gp instead, found out i was 3cm dialated, went to the hospital and this stupid student nurse said to me 'we dont believe that its labour, but we cant check your cervix if you wish' ... my reply "yes i wish you would hurry the hell up as this is a little painful'.
after sucking on the gas and air i got very high and tried to have sex with my OH (while the nurse was there and started crying when he wouldnt give it to me )

when i was pushing i had one leg up on OH and one up on my sister and the dr came in and said 'right lets have a baby", to which my OH and sister looked at each other and said 'HIGH 5" (in that stupid borat voice and high five'd) so i kicked them both and yelled at the doctor for instigating them

 

[SIEGAL]

I thought I was having braxton hicks but I had an OB appointment so I figured he would let me know. In the car ride there the pains got serious that I started freaking out when I got to the elevator. I walked into the office (and of course - office was full of like 10 woman and men waiting) and just starting crying and hyperventilating to the receptionist that I thought I was in labor. She told me to sit for like a minute and I was just like uncontrollably crying - I was so embarrassed. My husband said everyone in the office was staring at me and all the pregnant woman looked terrified. The crying turned to screaming by the time the dr. examined me and I was indeed 6 cm dilated. I made such a scene.

 

[cool . sweets]

Wow, these were really good laughs ! Thanks for sharing. I haven`t a funny birth story as this is my first. Lol, reading your stories makes me think of how I`m gonna act when it`s my turn to birth!

 

[mummykcc]

The one thing i found embarassing was being told to wait in this little waiting room before they would take me in to check my progress (being my 1st they assumed it'd be a long labour). I had a huge contraction and my waters just gushed all over the floor....i was mortified-asked my husband to clean it up and he just kept telling me not to worry and someone else will deal with it as we need to go to the labour room! I kept on about mopping it up for ages after lol.

(oh and no it wasn't a long labour-i almost didn't get to the room to give birth in!)

 

[embojet]

I had an emergency section at 29 weeks so didnt go through labour. But I was catheterised for a few days before having Molly as they needed to measure mt urine output. before that, I had to pee in a cup and show the midwives how much I'd done. I wondered back to the ward from the toilet with my cup, and proudly announced to the midwife (who had her back to me) 'look how much I've done!', holding out my cup. The midwife turned around, and it turns out it wasn't a midwife. It was someone's nan dressed similar to the midwife, who was there for visiting hours!