My first child took 2 hours to push out and I suffered quite a few 2nd and 3rd degree tears that required quite a few stitches to patch together. To top it off, peeing was torture and I avoided pooping for about a couple weeks after the birth because when I did, I felt like my butt was going to fall out of me. I suffered from prolapse after that which gradually became worse. So when I fell pregnant with my second while on the pill, I dreaded the day when I would have to deliver that baby. What if he took as long to push out as she did and I had to get a full patch work done on my behind again?
At 37w3d I went to the hospital because I was having very mild contractions and pressure. I went in thinking I had a UTI. My jaws nearly dropped to the floor - if that were even possible - when my midwife checked my cervix during a pap (as routine to make sure it was a UTI and not another vaginal infection) and told me that I was already 7 cm!
"No!" I said, "I can't go into labor TODAY!"
She chuckled. "Yes, you're going to have a baby today. Let's wheel you over to the birth center and have a baby!"
I almost passed out. I kept thinking it couldn't be true. After all, I wasn't in pain from my contractions yet but they apparently were doing something because of how far dilated I was already. I asked my midwife, "I have to get my birth bag (aka suitcase with necessities for my hospital stay) out of the car. Can I just walk over to the birth center?"
"Of course," she told me with a big smile on her face.
I was out of there. I didn't even have my birth bag in the car, or even packed yet. I wasn't prepared for the news. All I kept thinking about was how long my delivery took with my first. I drove to the store where my husband worked. "I'm in labor," I told him. "What the heck are you doing here?!" he nearly shouted at me, "Go to the hospital!"
"I was at the hospital. They're getting a room ready for me but I didn't have my birth bag packed."
"Then go get your bag packed and I'll let work know that I have to leave." (when he arrived at the hospital later he told me that his co-workers said that I should have stayed there and birthed at the store... would have made all the headlines)
On my drive home to get my birth bag, my cell phone started ringing. It was my midwife. I let it go. I packed my birth bag and threw it in the car, then went back to the hospital to meet my DH. When I arrived in the hospital parking lot, I listened to the voicemail that my midwife left. She of course was wondering where I was. "We have the birth center room ready and are running a bath for you."
As enticing as taking a bath was, it was the last thing on my mind. I was intentionally holding off as long as possible so I wouldn't have to do anything except push once I was in my room. By the time I got up to the room and met my DH in the hallway, my midwife was in a frenzy. "I thought you had the baby and would come wheeled up here with it sitting in your lap!"
"No, I had to run home and get my birth bag," I told her, mustering an angelic smile. I had taken so long, the bathtub was empty because the water turned cold and the real work started. I was jabbed in the arm with an IV, my contractions were measured with that uncomfortable belt and I changed into a gown. My midwife popped my water with my consent and then the contractions were no longer painless. I felt the urge to lay down and bear down. When I began to push, my midwife put her fingers up and painfully pushed away the lips of my cervix so the head could come down into the birth canal.
I relaxed and my midwife told me to wait until she had everything ready. She went out of the room to tell the other hospital nurses that they would need their "table of tools" in my room. I felt the sudden urge to push again and did so, pushing with my body this time instead of fighting it like I did with my first. The nurse sitting on the bed beside me screeched, "Omg! I see a head already!" She sent another nurse out to get my midwife.
Thus I gave my midwife her second heart attack of the day.
"I told you to wait!" she said, running into the room and putting on her gloves. I was fed up by this time. For one thing, I didn't have an epidural and could feel every time I had the urge to push. I yelled back, "I can't wait!" and with another push the baby's head was fully out, his shoulders needed another big push and the rest of his body came out. My midwife barely caught him. I was shocked how easily he came.
Needless to say, I was worried for nothing. Second babies really do come a lot quicker.
felt so bad! They had to call the cleaners in to change the bed and clean the floor.
(and also for making me realise that I had a REALLY boring labour AND delivery 
