funny/ embarrasing labour stories

[Teri7489]

A couple pushes in, I farted quite loudly in the doctors face. I apologized, then started laughing. My husband was so embarrassed!*[/QUOTE]

literally crying with laughter!! Too funny

 

[magicwhisper]

hilarious

 

[SIEGAL]

I'm a bit ashamed of the birth of my second. Got to hospital at like 8 pm a and it was quiet. After a while I got the epidural -hubby and me napped - nurse woke me then I pushed out baby in two pushes. Held him a few minutes and then nursery took him. We both went back to sleep for a few hours till they took me to my room. No excitement like my first - we were barely awake!

 

[3littleloves]

I haven't had many really funny or embarrassing moments during my two previous births. Although my last was attempting a drug free VBAC so I planned to labour at home for as long as possible. I was doing really well but when my waters broke and there was meconium in it I knew I had to go to the hospital. So off we went but the pressure was intense and was trying not to push. We got to the hospital but there's no where to park so my partner had to drop me off. I walk inside the main entrance looking like a mess with wet hair after labouring in and out of the shower for 3 hours, carrying a plastic bag with meconium soaked towel (midwives told me to bring it in) and wearing a big maxi dress that my partner picked out for me as I spent the whole morning naked. Because it was a baggy dress and I wasn't very big I didn't even look pregnant. So I looked awful and then the next contraction starts as I get to the lift and I can barely move and can't talk. I'm doing deep breathing and sort of moaning on every exhale. I realised all the people around me are freaked out and just staring at me. I manage to get in the lift and see the level I want is already selected but a man asks what level I want. I couldn't talk but in my head I was thinking it would be funny if I said psychiatric ward. Instead I didn't say anything but kept moaning. We go up a few levels and the man asks again what level I want and I couldn't think. The only thing I could mutter was labour. They all looked a so relieved after that. One of the people in the lift must have worked there because he then escorted me to the labour ward where I found out I was 10cm dilated and baby was born shortly after.

My partner parked the car and made it with plenty of time to spare but I was so focused on my breathing I didn't even realise he was there. It wasn't until baby was born and on my chest for at least a minute or so that he asked what colour eyes he had. I remember looking up at him and thinking "Oh there you are" but we have it on video and it looks like I'm just completely ignoring him.

 

[AmyRebecca]

I started reading this thread yesterday at work and was so sad at first when I saw how old it was, but I'm so thrilled it is still going! I actually just joined this site today so that I could subscribe to this thread and hopefully add something to it in January when my Little Miss gets here!

You ladies are hysterical and I'm so much less afraid of labor just from reading all of your stories. I have to say though, I really wish we had G&A in the states ... I think I would probably be just as mouthy as some of you!

 

[PurpleRain92]

I've got quite a few bu not as funny as others I read lol.
I was in labour for 42 hours with my DD after being induced due to pre-eclampsia and had back to back labour. I ended up having every bit of pain relief I could throughout it; gas and air, pethidine, epidural.
I was induced at 6 in the morning on the Monday and by 12pm, I had started having pressure in my bum and cramps in my back which I was convinced was just me needing to poo every 5 minutes aha every few minutes I would run to the toilet to try and poo cuz I thought I was just badly constipated: it was just early contractions.
When I had the gas and air, I was convinced my already deepish voice had took on a whole new level of manliness and got upset that everyone in the room would hate my voice.. Lol.
After the pethidine, I got a little loopy, and was having conversations with my mother and partner about being lost in a field and having to get to the top of the bus to get my brother.
My mother had finished off my salad I couldn't finish and proceeded to get all up in my face with a severe case of onion breath and I remember screaming at her to brush her teeth.
I had a 2nd degree tear and so needed stitches afterwards. Prior to this, I had been proclaiming to everyone I needed to pass gas but couldn't. And of course, my poorly controlled bowels decided to release this gas for an extensive period of time whilst I was getting my stitches, right in the midwife's face. I was so mortified but just couldn't stop.
For a while in the last stages of labour, I had to have my legs up in stirrups and by the time I'd given birth and everything, all sense of dignity had just gone and though the midwife repeated told me I could put my legs down, I just really felt comfy with them up like that so just kept them there ha.
Once I was moved on to the ward and my partner came back up to see me, I fell asleep for an hour and was woke up to him and a few women on the ward laughing. I was so confused and apparently I sounded like snorlax snoring. Not long afterwards, a midwife decided to give me my own room because as she put it.. We like to try to give all mother's a room to their self. Polite way to tell me my snoring was too beastly for the ward aha!

 

[nikkchikk]

I was given Stadol at the beginning of labor to take the edge off. My husband and sister were in the room with me when I began to panic and repeatedly tell them, quite seriously, that my breathing had stopped and they MUST perform CPR on me. I remember a lot of snickering, lol.

Stadol. NEVER AGAIN.

 

[luz]

My labor was pretty quick and my water broke right as we pulled into the hospital. My husband parked at the furthest spot away from the door and little did i know i was nearly fully dilated when we got there. I was in so much pain from the contractions i could hardly walk, yet he made me walk to the door. A nurse quickly noticed we were in need of help as we walked in and sat me down in a wheel chair and wheeled me up to L&D. They were kind of dilly dallying around when we first got in trying to decide where they would put me when i said very rudely to everyone, "can we please hurry this along? i am going to have this baby NOW"

All of a sudden everyone started moving very quickly, they ran me into a room pulled my pants off and helped me onto the bed. There were about 10 people in the room getting everything set up as quick as possible once they realized i was fully dilated and the head was moving down.

While they were trying to get my IV in and everything set up the nurse asked me how i was doing... I looked at her and said "i'm really sorry but i think i am going to poop all over this bed!"

Im sure it took everything in her not to giggle, but she politely said, that's ok honey, i'll clean it up. After the baby was born, my husband whispered to me, "did you know you told the nurse you were going to poo?" he was pretty embarrassed....

 

[shinona]

I haven't looked at this for a while but it made me giggle so much again.

I had my third baby on Wednesday so I'm here to add my two funny/embarrassing stories.

The first was at about 10pm, my contractions were intense but had tailed off to one in 10mins when I'd been at 3 or 4 in 10. I was starting to worry and really feel the pain so I asked my hubby to put on some "swirly whirly" music like we'd had on the ward (kind of like the nice relaxing music at a spa). He flicked on the radio and it blared out "dun dun ... Everything is Awesome" the total techno tune from the Lego Movie. I gave him the evil eye and suggested he turn it off as everything was in fact not awesome! We were both in hysterics.

Secondly, while actually pushing, the midwife was telling me to push into my bum and I was very aware that I was pooing. She kindly said "you've just had a show, dear" and I replied " that's ok, I know I've pooed and you're just being nice". Ah, gas and air....how I've missed you! I only had it for 20 mins during transition/pushing so I didn't have time to come out with too many crackers!
Xx

 

[imblessed14]

lol, i'm over here chuckling, thanks for the laughs ladies

 

[Jes Willi]

Guys, this is so funny, someone should collect it in a book

 

[nmpjcp2015]

Thank you everyone! I don't have any children yet - so no stories, but man these were fun to read!!

I don't have any children yet either I hope I have a funny story to tell of my own soon.

I do have a story about my sister though. She asked me to stay in the room with her for support, so I said yes, but I was so afraid that when the anesth. came in to give her the epidural, I hid in the bathroom and peeking through a slit in the door. I told everyone I suddenly had to go to the bathroom. Lol.

This was her third child, so the labor was going quickly, but the doctor worked in the pediatric clinic across the street and told the nurses to call him when it was close because he had some appointments. Well she progressed really quickly and before they knew it my niece was coming out. The nurses started screaming, don't push, don't push. The dr was called and you could see him through the window RUNNING across the parking lot to make it in time. He got there with his hair flying all over and washed up and put on his gear and Gaby literally slid right into his arms. I guess he wanted to make sure he got paid that day. He almost missed it.

AFM I already know I'm my husband is going to be in for a real treat when I'm in labor. He knows not to take it personally. Lol.

 

[Eline]

Bumping this great thread! I hope to be able to add some nice anecdotes myself in a few weeks

 

[hayz_baby]

With ds2 being undiagnosed breech I wanted to make sure that ds3 was defo head down. Especially with my planned home water birth.
In the throws of pushing (on dry land might i add as pool wasn't ready in time) as I could feel the head starting to come I exclaimed..
"Please tell me thats his head!"
I made the mw look twice as she just wasnt expecting that question!

She later told me she was really thrown by that, she had checked several times before but the question made her question..!

 

[icegurl470]

Ha, this is a great thread! When I was having my daughter I labored in the tub un-medicated, after the dr checked me and told me I was 9.5 cm and I could push whenever I wanted he started to leave the room and then I yelled somethings coming out! and he whipped around and every jumped up and got really excited but it turned out just to be my waters lol. Then after pushing for an hr I moved from the tub to the bed, pushed the head out and got really bad "ring of fire" The dr was down there helping the baby's head come out and I screamed at him to PUT SOME GEL ON IT OR SOMETHING! Then I started smacking at his hands lol. Afterwards, he was examining me and I asked how my vagina was. He said my "perineum was intact" after a long pause my moms like what does that mean?

I didn't really think any of this was funny but my mom and my sister still joke about it..

 

[icegurl470]

Oh I should also note that I was terrified of pooping during labor. Well, as if to spite me I pooped throughout my entire labor. pooped my brains out at home during early labor. Pooped my brains out for hrs in bathroom by myself in the hospital, pooped in the shower.. After about 8hrs of this I thought surely there cant be any more poop. Spent the last part of my labor in the tub and somehow still managed to poop out seemingly untouched pristine corn kernels that my husband and mw sifted out. My mom, apparently the queen on stupid questions, asked honey do you eat corn?

 

[Natsku]

Oh I should also note that I was terrified of pooping during labor. Well, as if to spite me I pooped throughout my entire labor. pooped my brains out at home during early labor. Pooped my brains out for hrs in bathroom by myself in the hospital, pooped in the shower.. After about 8hrs of this I thought surely there cant be any more poop. Spent the last part of my labor in the tub and somehow still managed to poop out seemingly untouched pristine corn kernels that my husband and mw sifted out. My mom, apparently the queen on stupid questions, asked honey do you eat corn?

This is probably why they insist of giving enemas in the hospitals over here. Urgh I hate enemas!

 

[skyesmom]

Oh I should also note that I was terrified of pooping during labor. Well, as if to spite me I pooped throughout my entire labor. pooped my brains out at home during early labor. Pooped my brains out for hrs in bathroom by myself in the hospital, pooped in the shower.. After about 8hrs of this I thought surely there cant be any more poop. Spent the last part of my labor in the tub and somehow still managed to poop out seemingly untouched pristine corn kernels that my husband and mw sifted out. My mom, apparently the queen on stupid questions, asked honey do you eat corn?

"honey, do you eat corn" LOL!!! i can only imagine our OH and the mw!!

 

[Nataliieexo]

the only funny things that happened in mine was, the first try of gas and air when I spoke I sounded so deep and I was in stitches until it made me feel really sick.

They cut off my disposable knickers that they had given me and checked me and my grandma tried covering me back over with a sheet and i told her not to because it didn't matter everyone had already seen it now (meaning my toosh) it still tickles me now.

And I'm sure I sounded really funny when I started declaring at 7cm that I was dying which now I realise was dramatic lol

 

[CrazyMumma]

OMG this thread is amazing

With my first I was in labor for 46hrs. I was exhausted....and when I get over tired I get VERY grumpy and emotional

I remember after a particularly nasty contraction I stood up, grabbed my handbag and proceeded to walk out of the room - I opened the door and said to my midwife "I've changed my mind, she can f**king stay in there!" just as another contraction hit and I sheepishly made my way back into the room!

After I discovered the g&a I went to town! Loved the stuff! I can vaguely recall laying on the bed as high as a kite shouting out "I'm a space monkey!" - noooo idea where that came from

After she was born I went all primal on it - I ripped the hospital gown in half yanking it off me - I think I'd been staring at the skin to skin posters on the delivery suite walls a little too long!

Can't wait to see what crazy things happen this time!