gave in.....and cross with myself

[matchings0cks]

I am 13dpo and really thought this was my month...... af not due till sat and was trying to wait and test then but was weak and gave in to temptation this morning... and of course BFN!
So disappointed as had totally got my hopes up!

OH thinks there is still hope and keeps saying you should have waited till the wknd..... he tries to understand but I know he just doesn't get how all this waiting makes me feel... and then to not see that second line is just devastating.... even though in a strange way I was expecting it too not appear.
Really don't understand why its do easy for everyone else I know..... seems to just have happened for them without really having to try!!

So want to see a BFP soon.

 

[stellargaze]

I understand exactly. I've been there soooo many times already, always desperate to check because of that bit of lasting hope, but then not entirely expecting that second line to appear. At this point, I can't imagine what I'd do if it actually did appear! I might go into shock.

 

[Mandyloo]

matching socks - we are on the day schedule! My AF is due saturday as well but I am way worse than you and tested on tuesday! of course BFN but I felt like such a dummy.... fingers crossed AF stays away!

 

[Dawny]

I am 13dpo today too!!! AF is due tomorrow as i had OV pains two weeks ago tomorrow and i am dying to do a test! I have no symptoms at all, and will be so cross at myself when i do the test and it is negative but i just cant get it out of my head that this has got to be my month.

I had MMC in July, and my cylce only came back in Novemebr, so this is cylce three of trying for me and i keep thinking if im like this and its only the third time what will i be like in a few more months, i cant bear it!

I have to say tho, i think altho we are all different, in a way we are all the same, impatient, scared and just want that baby!!!!! Which we will all get, and soon!

xxxxxx

 

[heart4home]

(((HUGS))) hope you get that BFP soon. Those negatives are just soo hard to see, and yet we all seem to do it to ourselves.

 

[matchings0cks]

Girls have you tested?

My af is due today nothing yet but its early yet. Afraid to test as don't want to see another bfn!

 

[Mandyloo]

Hi, matching socks! Same with me. No AF and afraid to test. I might wait until monday to see if AF arrives.... I don't think I'm strong enough for a BFN

 

[matchings0cks]

Funny my oh wants me to wait till Monday, I kind of want to test tomorrow but also want to wait!!

Fingers crossed af stays away for both of us hun!!

 

[GGMTS]

I am due tomorrow. First I tested on Wednesday morning, got a negative, and cried all the way to work. Eventually I will learn not to test during the work week! Today, CD 30, tested again, another negative. I was awkwardly saddened but not surprised at the same time.

Do you guys ever sit and stare at a negative test to see if there might be something there? I swear I stood in the bathroom this morning twisting the test in the light for like 10 minutes. It's like I can see where it's supposed to be (even though I've never seen a positive test) and right when I think I see a line, it's gone. I am really drviing myself crazy.

I know how you feel about it being so easy for everyone else. My sis is 4 years youmger than me and is pregnant and got that way on birth control. How she's all super fertile and I have PCOS I don't understand. As a matter of fact, I am THE ONLY woman on both sides of my family around my age without 2-6 kids. Yes, 6!

And my husband is so optomistic it makes me sick sometimes! He's always saying "It'll be ok baby" "We'll try again next month" "Don't be so negative everytime it comes up not pregnant, you just have to be patient" I swear if he calls me negative one more time I'm having a baby with someone else! Men just don't get what we go through as women NOT gettting pregnant over and over again. It's ok for me to be upset if I want to be upset!!

Sorry, I got a little ranty, this is just really depressing and I'm sick of it. With every negative result I feel stupid for "feeling" pregnant in the first place and it makes me wonder why I even try.

I hope we have better luck next month, but really I hope our negatives were wrong. I'm going to keep testing until my period shows up. I have realized through this whole ttc journey, I cannot help but to torture myself. Talk about asking for it.

 

[labmommy]

Can I join you girls? AF was due sometime this weekend...The RE nurse had originally said to test yesterday when I called with my positive opk on 1/15 it was late, like 11:30 pm. Friday I had blood when I wiped in the bathroom twice and awful cramps. I thought I was out so I called the nurse (we are trying injectables next cycle) so she could set up the next cycle calendar. WELL, since about 5pm Friday, the last time I wiped blood, there has been NOTHING. no more cramps, twinges, pulls, or blood. cd 37.

 

[labmommy]

oh, and bfn this morning. Stared in disbelief at the cheapie and FRER for a few minutes, then sent OH to stare at it 10 minutes later.

 

[matchings0cks]

Af got me this afternoon. ah well best foot forward for February!!

 

[GGMTS]

Well, I'm officially out for January. Femara, here I come!

 

[Mandyloo]

Aww sorry girls. I am still waiting for AF to arrive she should have been here saturday. I tested this morning and it was BFN. I wish she would just show up already so that I can just get on with next month!

 

[Dawny]

Af arrived yesteday for me, was little bit excited as i was due on Friday but seems my body is taking the mick out of me nevermind, roll on february as my expected OV will be around Valentines Day!!

Good luck girls xxx