"Gay parents are selfish and cruel"

[AppleBlossom]

What do you think about this statement?

I was going to post this a few weeks back but I didn't want to offend anyone. But after reading a link to the news story of Elton John and David Furnish becoming parents and seeing the comments at the bottom of the article I thought it would be interesting to see people's views on here.

My daughter has a gay father. He has been with his partner for almost 2 years (longer if you include how long he cheated but that's a whole other story lol) I was angry at first when I found out. Not because he's gay but because he knew he was gay and continued to lie to me even when I asked him a few times. He isn't the world's best dad by any means although he would say different. But I don't put that down to the fact he is in a relationship with a man.

I sincerely believe that gay/lesbian couples make just as good parents as heterosexual couples. As it stands, I am not worried about it by any means. It's nobody else's business. But I have often thought about when she starts school. Children can be cruel and I worry that she may be bullied. Having said that, I don't want her to think for a second that there is anything wrong with being gay. Part of me hopes that as the years go on, homosexuality will become more and more acceptable and she will not be subject to bullying. If she ever asks me questions I will tell her. But I would rather her father explained it to her properly because after all, it's his "area" and I only know the basics from an outside point of view.

I know of a few gay/lesbian couples who want/have children and I would never view them as anything other than parents. Does sexuality play a role in how good a parent you are? Does a child really need a male AND female role model in their life?

Like I said, this isn't meant to offend anyone, I just wondered how you would react if someone tried to claim the above

 

[marley2580]

As the daughter of a gay mum (though she was with my dad for 15 years) I can, hand on heart, say that sexuality makes little difference to parenting.

I do think, though, that it's important for a child to have role models of both genders. But that can easily be a grandparent or friend

 

[Zarababy1]

its stupid if you ask me parenting has nothing to do with sexuality! there a probably many more straight parents who are awful mothers and farther than there are gay parents! maybe 20 years ago having gay parents was somthing kids would be bullyed about in school and probably even in some schools now but if it isnt your parents your getting bullyed for it would be somthing else! two men or two women can make just as good parents if not better as two of the oposite sex imo!

 

[marley2580]

And having read the first few pages of comments I am disgusted at the rife homophobia that still runs rampant in British society. Unfortunately it doesn't surprise me

 

[Pyrrhic]

I am yet to hear a story about gay parents abusing their children, yet you hear it all the time on the news.

There are far more important things to be worrying about than the sexual preference of parents IMO. It doesn't affect their parenting ability, so shouldn't even be an issue.

 

[AppleBlossom]

And having read the first few pages of comments I am disgusted at the rife homophobia that still runs rampant in British society. Unfortunately it doesn't surprise me

Me too, I had to stop reading them because some of the things were awful

And I totally agree. I don't see why people would be so concerned with homosexual parents, it's their choice Like you said Zara, I know of a lot of heterosexual couples who are awful parents. It just makes me sad to know that not everyone can just be accepting and let people get on with their lives without judging them

 

[Stevensmummyx]

I do not think that sexuality should be judged at all never mind if a gay/lesbian couple want to be parent. I think nowadays we live on a society where being gay is accepted more rather than say 30 years ago. It has nothing to do with someones sexual preference its about how much of a good parent they would make. I am all for gay parents, however there is still a chance that children may be bullied about having gay parents and this is not right at all and should be stamped out, but that's all to do with the homophobic parents that tell they're kids that gay is wrong. And even still today in some areas being gay is frowned upon for eg a male friend in college (gay) is not allowed to give blood however he hasn't had many sexual partners yet they won't accept his blood incase he has hiv/aids yet they won't even take it to test it it angers me that so many people are still so ignorant based on someones sexual preference x

 

[Nic1107]

I do not think that sexuality should be judged at all never mind if a gay/lesbian couple want to be parent. I think nowadays we live on a society where being gay is accepted more rather than say 30 years ago. It has nothing to do with someones sexual preference its about how much of a good parent they would make. I am all for gay parents, however there is still a chance that children may be bullied about having gay parents and this is not right at all and should be stamped out, but that's all to do with the homophobic parents that tell they're kids that gay is wrong. And even still today in some areas being gay is frowned upon for eg a male friend in college (gay) is not allowed to give blood however he hasn't had many sexual partners yet they won't accept his blood incase he has hiv/aids yet they won't even take it to test it it angers me that so many people are still so ignorant based on someones sexual preference x

OMG bit off topic but that winds me up soooo much! I was looking at a pamphlet to donate blood at a church blood drive and couldn't believe it when I saw that gay men couldn't donate- they have to test the blood anyway, no?! It's so stupid, anyone could have HIV/AIDS and it's not like the blood of a gay man has some HIV cloaking device that would make it not show up on a test!

 

[miss cakes]

i dont think anyones sexuality has any baring on wether they will be a good parent or not it just comes down this old fashioned mentality that all gay people are perverts and sexual deviants who should be kept away from children which is rediculous lol as for kids getting picked on at school because of it well in my opinion kids dont really give a toss who thier mates parents are they are alot less judgemental than we give em credit for more like as they get to thier teens it could become a source of ridicule but by that age wearing the wrong trainers is reason to pick on someone so i wouldnt worry too much haha x

 

[Stevensmummyx]

I do not think that sexuality should be judged at all never mind if a gay/lesbian couple want to be parent. I think nowadays we live on a society where being gay is accepted more rather than say 30 years ago. It has nothing to do with someones sexual preference its about how much of a good parent they would make. I am all for gay parents, however there is still a chance that children may be bullied about having gay parents and this is not right at all and should be stamped out, but that's all to do with the homophobic parents that tell they're kids that gay is wrong. And even still today in some areas being gay is frowned upon for eg a male friend in college (gay) is not allowed to give blood however he hasn't had many sexual partners yet they won't accept his blood incase he has hiv/aids yet they won't even take it to test it it angers me that so many people are still so ignorant based on someones sexual preference x

OMG bit off topic but that winds me up soooo much! I was looking at a pamphlet to donate blood at a church blood drive and couldn't believe it when I saw that gay men couldn't donate- they have to test the blood anyway, no?! It's so stupid, anyone could have HIV/AIDS and it's not like the blood of a gay man has some HIV cloaking device that would make it not show up on a test!

Yeah it is a bit off but its still disgusting how someone can be judged by their sexuality, now my friend has withdrew his organ donor card and is saying if my blood isn't good enough then why should my organs be. I know a lesbian couple who are parents, one of them had her daughter from a previous relationship and now has 2 mothers abd I think as long as the child is being looked after and is receiving all the love they deserve then it should not matter at all x

 

[BlackBerry25]

I would slap someone if they said this to me. I think everything depends on the individual and whether they are gay or not, has nothing to do with parenting. What I do in bed has nothing to do with Helena.

Helena def. will not be bullying people at school if they have gay parents, because Helena will be taught that it is perfectly normal. She won't even have to question it, I hope. People can have all sorts of role models in life, they don't have to be parents, so they can get a "male" or "female" influence (?) from other people in their lives. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, teachers, coaches, etc. I don't think they need a male and a female in the home.

 

[polo_princess]

Does a child really need a male AND female role model in their life?

I'll keep my opinion on this short ...

A child needs A role model, be it gay, straight, 1 legged, pink, black,green, 1 parent or 7. Who are we as a society to define the boundaries of what is a morally acceptable situation to raise a child in based on someones sexuality?

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I dont think it matters in any way to be honest xx

 

[rubixcyoob.]

Sexuality of a parent is of little importance, it probably ranks somewhere along the lines of hair colour, eye colour, height - the answers won't define you as a person.
Sexuality as a whole is of little importance in the grand scheme of things. Someone else's sexuality does not define them to me. It does not make them this, that or the other.

A person, be it a parent or not, is defined by their actions, their personality, their likes and dislikes etc. That is all. That is all it should be. It's ashame others feel otherwise.

As long as a child has a happy, healthy and safe home life then there is nothing that needs to be questioned.

As for a child needing both a male and female role model, well, to me, that is silly. It would be the same as saying a child should not be raised as a single parent family because it lacks on respective role model sex. It is the same thing no? Only one parent of one gender there.
Yes, a child needs both female and male role models, but these can be from anyone. relatives, friends, teachers, famous people etc. There will always be a role model for a child somewhere, it is not determined by them having both sexes as parents.

 

[AppleBlossom]

Does a child really need a male AND female role model in their life?

I'll keep my opinion on this short ...

A child needs A role model, be it gay, straight, 1 legged, pink, black,green, 1 parent or 7. Who are we as a society to define the boundaries of what is a morally acceptable situation to raise a child in based on someones sexuality?

Totally agree!

It's the same as when people slag off single parents because there is a parent absent. G might not see her dad all week but she sees my dad almost every day as well as my mum and sisters.

 

[hopeandpray]

I think the less kids know about their parent's sex lives the better I think it doesn't make a blind bit of difference, as long as it's not like the child has a positive male and female role model in their lives it's fine

 

[Laura2919]

I think if they raise their child and their child is happy and healthy then what does it matter. Times change and things change and the world has changed loads. I watched the program on tv about the two gay dads and they had a whole brood of kids and were flying to America to pick up their twins which had been born to a surrogate, I personally loved watching how different but alike they are. The kids were so happy that they had two dads and didnt care that they did because they were loved and cared for, they had a gorgeous home, lovely family, had all they wanted. So why would it be a problem.
As for giving blood I agree HIV is so so common and I wouldnt personally want to take the risk with blood. Its common through all walks of life but thats just a precaution. I also cannot give blood because I have had a transfusion and I really would like to but I cant. Nor can my dad as he is a diabetic.

 

[redpoppy]

Does a child really need a male AND female role model in their life?

I'll keep my opinion on this short ...

A child needs A role model, be it gay, straight, 1 legged, pink, black,green, 1 parent or 7. Who are we as a society to define the boundaries of what is a morally acceptable situation to raise a child in based on someones sexuality?

I agree with this totally.

However I do think girls need good female role models and boys need good male ones but I don't think they have to be the parents.

 

[CJA]

Homophobia is a sick disease. Children need love regardless of sexuality.

 

[TattiesMum]

I think if they raise their child and their child is happy and healthy then what does it matter. Times change and things change and the world has changed loads. I watched the program on tv about the two gay dads and they had a whole brood of kids and were flying to America to pick up their twins which had been born to a surrogate, I personally loved watching how different but alike they are. The kids were so happy that they had two dads and didnt care that they did because they were loved and cared for, they had a gorgeous home, lovely family, had all they wanted. So why would it be a problem.
As for giving blood I agree HIV is so so common and I wouldnt personally want to take the risk with blood. Its common through all walks of life but thats just a precaution. I also cannot give blood because I have had a transfusion and I really would like to but I cant. Nor can my dad as he is a diabetic.

Nor can I because I'm a cancer survivor There are LOADS of categories which preclude people from giving blood and tbh I don't see any discrimination in any of them - I was a regular donor before I was ill but I just accept that they don't want to take any risks, even an unproven one, and am grateful for that on behalf of those who need transfusions

As for sexuality and parenting - well frankly there are good and bad parents from all walks of life, all economic levels, all geographic locations and all sexualities What you do in bed, and with whom, bears about as much relevance to how you parent as the contents of my neighbour's fridge has to do with what I cook for dinner tonight

Having said that I'm not too over-enthusiastic about Elton John and David Furnish's new family addition because of their ages - I was a youngish Mum when I had my LOs and they ran me ragged .... now, at 45, I find Kaylum really wears me out LOL - I can't even begin to imagine how much a small baby will exhaust me in another 20 years

I KNOW they can afford plenty of help and nannies etc, but I really don't see a difference between them becoming parents now and a 63 year old woman having IVF - which I also don't agree with