GD because of others!!

[Nikki1979]

I feel so bad for feeling this way - am trying to get over it but it not working. I have 2 boys whom I love dearly. I didn't have GD when my 2nd one was born as it took a long time to conceive him and I was super elated to be given the chance at motherhood again. He is also a preemie which makes the guilt even worse.

My hubby only has brothers and all his brothers have boys only. His younger brother announced that they are expecting and the baby is most likely is a girl ( they already have a 3 year old boy). My SIL said that in the first pregnancy she had no morning sickness/tiredness etc and this time she is vomitting continuously so doctor said its most likely a girl. At first I was happy for her but now she is making me feel bad for not having a girl. Keeps saying things like I got my girl but feel sorry for moms who are cursed with boys only. I consider my boys a blessing and she said something like " a son is a son until he takes a wife and a daughter is a daughter for life".

Now I have this strong urge to have a baby girl. I get upset when I see little girls and since I am almost 38, the chances of me having a little girl is almost zero. I want to stop feeling like this and just want to be happy and content with my 2 boy. Any tips?

 

[kat132]

Just because she is being sick this time does not mean she is having a girl. People can have completely different pregnancies and be having the same gender, I did. 2 boys completely different pregnancies.
I think people should keep their oppinions to theirselves. Boys are a blessing, we are responsible for bringing up good men in this world and maybe a husband for one of these peoples daughters!! I know many men that are close to their mum's. I TRY to ignore people that say things like that. What would she do if she had another boy? Feel like she is cursed??
I love my boys to the moon and back and I am pregnant with my 3rd! If it's another boy I will be happy and proud to be a mum of all boys.
Don't let anyone make you question your life and your babies.
Boys are great and love their mum's ❤

 

[kat132]

Plus girls are a pain in the bum �� i remember what I was like.

 

[donnarobinson]

I have three boys and there amazing ❤️ It was other people's reactions that unsettled me most as well
I was upset to find baby 3 was another boy but he's amazing and I love having all boys now x

 

[Wish85]

Well first of all what a load of crap regarding the morning sickness theory. I had not a day of queasiness with my first DS however this pregnancy I was vomiting 4x a day and had to be medicated, also a boy

Secondly, your SIL's quote about son's vs daughters is pure ignorance. Whether my son's get married or not they will always be my sons. No-one can change that. If I was her I'd be careful what she says because there is no guarantee she IS having a girl. It's hasn't been confirmed.

Thirdly, I don't have any tips as such because I am completely thrilled to be having my second boy and have no desire to have a daughter but if you change your perspective to believe that our children choose us for a reason and not the other way around it is actually quite beautiful to think they chose us to learn their life lessons. If a girl/boy wants to incarnate with you as their parent, they will. I have always known having a girl was never on the cards for me and I accepted that a long time ago because I trust the universe has a plan for everyone. I tell myself every day what a privilege it is to be the one responsible for shaping good men because the world needs more of them.

Don't be hard on yourself and feel however you need to but if you take a step back, you will see how it really doesn't matter what gender our children are, they just want to be loved for who they are xx

 

[Andypanda6570]

Well first of all what a load of crap regarding the morning sickness theory. I had not a day of queasiness with my first DS however this pregnancy I was vomiting 4x a day and had to be medicated, also a boy

Secondly, your SIL's quote about son's vs daughters is pure ignorance. Whether my son's get married or not they will always be my sons. No-one can change that. If I was her I'd be careful what she says because there is no guarantee she IS having a girl. It's hasn't been confirmed.

Thirdly, I don't have any tips as such because I am completely thrilled to be having my second boy and have no desire to have a daughter but if you change your perspective to believe that our children choose us for a reason and not the other way around it is actually quite beautiful to think they chose us to learn their life lessons. If a girl/boy wants to incarnate with you as their parent, they will. I have always known having a girl was never on the cards for me and I accepted that a long time ago because I trust the universe has a plan for everyone. I tell myself every day what a privilege it is to be the one responsible for shaping good men because the world needs more of them.

Don't be hard on yourself and feel however you need to but if you take a step back, you will see how it really doesn't matter what gender our children are, they just want to be loved for who they are xx

What a beautiful reply

 

[Wish85]

Thanks Andy. Straight from the heart ❤️

 

[Taurus8484]

Hi Nikki.....know you from another thread we are on....and if sickness in pregnancy is a sign of a girl then my first should have been a girl. I have 2 boys, completely different pregnancies. DS1 I was vomiting until 16 weeks multiple times a day and developed pre eclampsia, foot problems, blood pressure problems, hip and back problems...second pregnancy perfect and didnt vomit once....all pregnancies are different

Mean of me but hope it pops out another boy....teach her to keep her mouth quiet

 

[Nikki1979]

Plus girls are a pain in the bum �� i remember what I was like.

I was a good teenager but my sister on the other hand was a pain in the ****. My parents had many sleepless nights because of her

 

[Nikki1979]

Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. Honestly, I didn't have GD when my baby was born. I was infact happy to have given my Older ds a baby brother. Its when people make stupid comments, it makes you feel like you are missing out on something. The past days I have been feeling a lot better. My little one started saying "mama" and its so adorable when he calls out to me. I suppose people can only upset me if I let them.

 

[Nikki1979]

Hi Nikki.....know you from another thread we are on....and if sickness in pregnancy is a sign of a girl then my first should have been a girl. I have 2 boys, completely different pregnancies. DS1 I was vomiting until 16 weeks multiple times a day and developed pre eclampsia, foot problems, blood pressure problems, hip and back problems...second pregnancy perfect and didnt vomit once....all pregnancies are different

Mean of me but hope it pops out another boy....teach her to keep her mouth quiet

NO not mean of you. Sometimes I feel that too but my MIL doesn't have a daughter so it would be nice if she atleast gets a granddaughter.If my SIL has a girl, she will so smug and will just rub it in our faces.

 

[Nikki1979]

I have three boys and there amazing ❤️ It was other people's reactions that unsettled me most as well
I was upset to find baby 3 was another boy but he's amazing and I love having all boys now x

Your little boy is so cute

 

[Nikki1979]

Double post

 

[Nikki1979]

Well first of all what a load of crap regarding the morning sickness theory. I had not a day of queasiness with my first DS however this pregnancy I was vomiting 4x a day and had to be medicated, also a boy

Secondly, your SIL's quote about son's vs daughters is pure ignorance. Whether my son's get married or not they will always be my sons. No-one can change that. If I was her I'd be careful what she says because there is no guarantee she IS having a girl. It's hasn't been confirmed.

Thirdly, I don't have any tips as such because I am completely thrilled to be having my second boy and have no desire to have a daughter but if you change your perspective to believe that our children choose us for a reason and not the other way around it is actually quite beautiful to think they chose us to learn their life lessons. If a girl/boy wants to incarnate with you as their parent, they will. I have always known having a girl was never on the cards for me and I accepted that a long time ago because I trust the universe has a plan for everyone. I tell myself every day what a privilege it is to be the one responsible for shaping good men because the world needs more of them.

Don't be hard on yourself and feel however you need to but if you take a step back, you will see how it really doesn't matter what gender our children are, they just want to be loved for who they are xx

Congrats on finding out you are having a second boy. You are right, gender doesnt determine whether you are close to your mom or not. My sister and I were closer to my dad and my younger brother whose 23 would do anything for my mom. Once my mom sprained her ankle and he kept calling and reminding my sister to call her to make her feel better.

Thanks again for replying.

 

[donnarobinson]

I have three boys and there amazing ❤️ It was other people's reactions that unsettled me most as well
I was upset to find baby 3 was another boy but he's amazing and I love having all boys now x

Your little boy is so cute

Thank you Hun x

 

[Wish85]

Well first of all what a load of crap regarding the morning sickness theory. I had not a day of queasiness with my first DS however this pregnancy I was vomiting 4x a day and had to be medicated, also a boy

Secondly, your SIL's quote about son's vs daughters is pure ignorance. Whether my son's get married or not they will always be my sons. No-one can change that. If I was her I'd be careful what she says because there is no guarantee she IS having a girl. It's hasn't been confirmed.

Thirdly, I don't have any tips as such because I am completely thrilled to be having my second boy and have no desire to have a daughter but if you change your perspective to believe that our children choose us for a reason and not the other way around it is actually quite beautiful to think they chose us to learn their life lessons. If a girl/boy wants to incarnate with you as their parent, they will. I have always known having a girl was never on the cards for me and I accepted that a long time ago because I trust the universe has a plan for everyone. I tell myself every day what a privilege it is to be the one responsible for shaping good men because the world needs more of them.

Don't be hard on yourself and feel however you need to but if you take a step back, you will see how it really doesn't matter what gender our children are, they just want to be loved for who they are xx

Congrats on finding out you are having a second boy. You are right, gender doesnt determine whether you are close to your mom or not. My sister and I were closer to my dad and my younger brother whose 23 would do anything for my mom. Once my mom sprained her ankle and he kept calling and reminding my sister to call her to make her feel better.

Thanks again for replying.

Absolutely. There are no guarantees with anything in life that's why it's better to accept that there are some things out of our control and it's for a reason. Your SIL might have the only granddaughter and she turns out to be a nightmare and butts heads with your SIL or clash with your MIL. You just never know.

She can't be smug and rub it in your face if you don't believe she has a reason to. Tell her you are completely happy with the cards you've been dealt and you don't feel you are missing out on anything by not having a daughter. It's the truth.

We all needed men to even have our children so they are important lol..our kids won't be kids forever...they will grow into men and women so the gender is really irrelevant.

 

[Jessicahide]

I feel so bad for feeling this way - am trying to get over it but it not working. I have 2 boys whom I love dearly. I didn't have GD when my 2nd one was born as it took a long time to conceive him and I was super elated to be given the chance at motherhood again. He is also a preemie which makes the guilt even worse.

My hubby only has brothers and all his brothers have boys only. His younger brother announced that they are expecting and the baby is most likely is a girl ( they already have a 3 year old boy). My SIL said that in the first pregnancy she had no morning sickness/tiredness etc and this time she is vomitting continuously so doctor said its most likely a girl. At first I was happy for her but now she is making me feel bad for not having a girl. Keeps saying things like I got my girl but feel sorry for moms who are cursed with boys only. I consider my boys a blessing and she said something like " a son is a son until he takes a wife and a daughter is a daughter for life".

Now I have this strong urge to have a baby girl. I get upset when I see little girls and since I am almost 38, the chances of me having a little girl is almost zero. I want to stop feeling like this and just want to be happy and content with my 2 boy. Any tips?

Sorry to burst her bubble but she is talking absolute crap. First off a doc has no reason to guess the gender of a child.... Just not going to happen. Second, i had 4 boys all different symptoms, except the last boy i had no sickness at all.... with dd i had minimal too.... Nothing to do with gender....

Please don't let people put pressure on you xxxxxxx Your baby is whoever they are, the important part is, they are yours xxxxxx

 

[maybebaby3]

The sickest I've been is with my youngest son! Not my daughter! Maybe she's having a girl maybe she's not but morning sickness doesn't dictate gender!

 

[maryanne1987]

I've had hg in all of my pregnancies except for my last. Yet I had, boy, girl, girl, boy. Morning sickness in no way dictates what gender baby you may be carrying. I'm absolutely shocked any doctor would say otherwise. I'd recommend for her to find a new doctor as I certainly wouldn't be happy to have my treatment provided by someone who speaks absolute nonsense.

Don't let others spoil your happiness and put pressure on you x

 

[hello_kitty]

I also have 2 boys and now pregnant again. MS doesnt really say anything. I had morning sickness with my first baby and lost 6 lbs first trimester. At times, I really thought he could be a girl, but nope, u/s said he was a boy. Second time, no morning sickness, and he was a boy. SO each pregnancy is different. I kind of have a feeling this one will be another boy, and there probably will be some disappointment especially from others, but its ok. In the end, its still YOUR child, despite the gender. I keep telling myself daily, despite the outcome I will love this child to death.