Gender Issues - mine!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by MummyMEE, Jun 7, 2011.

  1. MummyMEE

    MummyMEE DS of 14/DD born Dec '11

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    Hi Ladies, I am 14 weeks with my second child and I am desperate for a girl. My OH doesn't want to find out the sex until birth unless I really want to but what worries me is this.
    If I find that I am expecting another boy at the 20 week scan I have the rest of pregnancy to get used to the fact but if I don't find out until the birth I am worried about my reaction upon being told its a boy??
    Please don't get me wrong, I am so grateful to be expecting at my age (38) and I will love the baby whatever :) but this is the last child I will have.
    What shall I do??????? :shrug:
     
  2. lynnikins

    lynnikins Well-Known Member

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    i was like this with ds2 and to a point am the same now,
    we didnt know for sure ds2 was a boy but dh had a feeling and the scan ppl said they " thought" he was and that was as much as DH would let me so i kinda went from that and planned for a boy but still hoped they were all wrong, they werent lol

    this time DH has aggreed that i should know caus with both the boys there was some period of adjustment to them being boys and i needed that time, i dont love them any less than i would a daughter its just different to how my head always dreamed my family would look and DH now understands that and can kinda see my point. I'll love this baby either way and already do but i wouldnt be able to deal with everyone saying " well theres always next time, oo0o another boy, do you want a girl next? " and stuff like that if i was unprepared for it myself
     
  3. chichestermum

    chichestermum mummy of 2 :)

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    Id find out! I have a lil girl and want another girl but finding out means that if its a boy i have the rest of the pregnancy to get used to it. Ask your OH to cover his ears while you find out or ask the sonographer to write it on a bit of paper for you to look at in private later on.
    good luck! xxx
     
  4. charxxx

    charxxx Mum & Expecting again

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    I know some people are going to say if the babys healthy what does it matter ect.. But gender dissapointment does happen it doesnt mean you love your baby any less and it doesnt mean you dont realise how lucky you are that everything is well either.. Sorry just had to say that before I say what I say!..

    When I pregnant with my daughter at 17 I was convinced she was going to be a little boy. I counted the days painfully until finally the 20 week scan came around and I was so excited BUT.. They couldnt tell us what we were expecting because she had her legs crossed lol so me being me went on asuming she was a boy.

    I then had another scan at about 8 months pregnant and my mum asked the tech whether she thought it was a girl or boy and she had a look.. When she said girl I just couldnt believe it I felt like I had lost the baby boy I'd been day dreaming about for all that time sounds so silly now, but I'm glad I found out whilst I was still pregnant as it did give me time to adjust and start getting pink things ready for her instead of red yellow and white lol.. xx
     
  5. jacks mummy

    jacks mummy Well-Known Member

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    I felt like that too and I'm one of the lucky ones that got a boy and a girl this time! I felt like u tho that I would be dissapointes if she had been a boy so I wanted my scan to prepare myself for having another boy! Although I really really wanted a boy when I was pregnant with my son so I am a very lucky lady to get what I wanted both times! I would find out at the scan if this is how ur feeling just to help u get ur head around it xxxx
     
  6. MummyMEE

    MummyMEE DS of 14/DD born Dec '11

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    Its hard as my OH has 4 other kids and with everyone his ex wife found out at 20 weeks so he never had the surprise of not knowing, it will be the last child for both of us and as much as I want to give him that surprise at the birth I am really worried that I may cry in a bad way if they tell me its a blue one!! xx
     
  7. Lashes85

    Lashes85 Mommy to FOUR boys <3

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    I had a gender scan at 16 weeks to find out in order to prepare myself for another boy. Not that I would ever have been disappointed at birth. But I needed to know, so I could get used to the idea and give him a name. I found out I was having my 4th boy. I was disappointed at first but now I couldn't be happier!! I'm so excited to meet my little man. The early gender scan helped me alot! There is no disappointment there anymore. Obviously I still want a girl at some point in my life but if I was given the choice to swap the gender now I'd say no. I've bonded with my little vinnie. I wouldn't swap any of my boys. I highly recommend an early gender scan, it definitely helps xx
     
  8. lynnikins

    lynnikins Well-Known Member

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    im glad im not the only one feeling this way, i get sick of ppl telling me its selfish wanting a girl etc..... they arent me and dont have to deal with how i feel this is pregnancy number 6 for me and ive always dreamed of a little girl. yeah im young and have plenty of years left but this is our last child for a while probably due to finnacial issues and my heart longs for a girl i cant explain it its just the way it is
     
  9. Lashes85

    Lashes85 Mommy to FOUR boys <3

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    Just ignore the silly people that say your selfish!! It's perfectly natural to want a girl after having boys. It doesn't for a second mean you'll love the baby less if it's another boy. Alot of people don't understand gender disappointment, and you'll find that those women that don't understand it already have one of each gender. Fingers crossed you get your long awaited daughter xx
     
  10. mum2liam

    mum2liam Well-Known Member

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    Im totally with you all on this one!

    i also would love to have a girl this time round, have 2 boys already, and with both i found out, not only did it prepare me, but i felt that i bonded with them so much before they arrived, and by no means am i saying you dont bond not knowing, its just how i felt.

    i was certain my second was a girl, and when she told me boy i was shocked!! lol but theres nothing more precious than having a healthy baby, and like you ladies, i am blessed!

    find out what im having on Saturday, cant wait, hoping for a girl as this is our last... so ive been told lol xx
     
  11. Jaybear5

    Jaybear5 Pregnant with baby #2

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    I can totally relate hun...I already have a son and was desperate for a girl, to the point of its all I could think about, i was dreaming about giving birth to a girl etc etc...It totally took over my life and my family started to worry incase i was to have another boy and it would send me into some sort of depression or something. I decided to book a gender scan at 16 weeks and to my total surprise we were told i was having a girl...I just burst into tears and was in shock for at least a few hours afterwards. My sister came with me to the scan and she pulled me to one side and was like, thank god i worried so much how you would react if it was a boy'.....Of course I would of been dissapointed but it wouldnt of lasted long and I would of been just as happy and loved him no different....HUGS XX
     
  12. Clover Jane

    Clover Jane Guest

    I'm also 38 and pregnant. I have 2 grown sons and want a girl (I have a baby granddaughter, and i think it would be wonderful if I had a girl and the two got to grow up together and be best friends).
    I will be profoundly disappointed if i find I'm having another boy, although I'll adjust, I'm sure.
    I could care less what my DH wants, in regard to finding out the gender. It's my deal. If he didn't want to know, I'd find out anyway, and just not tell him.
    Best wishes, and you're not alone. I'm in the same boat, with regards to having sons, and wanting a daughter.
     
  13. Chocciebutton

    Chocciebutton Well-Known Member

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    I am expecting a girl after 2 boys and at 39 this is my last......I was ecstatic when I found out and I too was worried at how I would adjust if it was a boy but I know that I would have got used to the idea, I would have just had to grieve for the girl I would never have had.I think it helps to bond and adjust to the situation if you find out what you are having
     
  14. poppy666

    poppy666 My family Complete x

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    Id find out if you can sweetie. With my last LO i needed to know cos i knew id be disappointed if another boy ( he was my 4th boy) I needed the time to get use to it before the birth, sure enough he was a boy and i cried all that day. Sounds selfish i know but how i felt knowing he was ment to be my last.

    Obviously pregnant again at 41 and again needed to know so went for a gender scan last saturday at 16+5 days and found out its a girl, totally shocked, but was 110% sure she was going to say another boy.

    Think its easy to say as long as its healthy and yes agree, but if you long for a certain sex and dont get it it does really hurt thinking your never going to have a son/daughter especially if you know its your last child.

    Good luck :hugs:
     
  15. MummyMEE

    MummyMEE DS of 14/DD born Dec '11

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    Keep us posted! I wanted a girl the first time round and when I had my 20 wk scan and they told me it was a boy I burst into tears there and then! But I bonded with my little boy whilst he was inside me and when he arrived at 32 wks I already had a name picked out for him and bought loads of clothes - loved doing that made me closer to bump picturing him in all the little outfits I bought him and tbh I think I would really miss out on that if we didn't find out - lemon babygros just wouldn't cut it!
     
  16. Pixie2320

    Pixie2320 Well-Known Member

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    Honestly, here's my two cents..

    You're the one carrying the baby, and you're the one with all the hormones coursing through you like a freight train. If you feel like it will help you to better prepare mentally, find out! I understand that gender disappointment happens quite frequently, especially in moms who are really really wanting that certain sex, and with this being your last baby you're more likely to convince yourself it will be the sex you desperately want, then to experience gender disappointment after so long and after the birth process would just make it 100 X worse.

    For me, the day the baby comes will be exciting enough without needing an added surprise of finding out the sex! :shrug:

    Plus if you find out you're getting your pink bundle think about how much time you can spend picking out pink things with ruffles :)
     
  17. charxxx

    charxxx Mum & Expecting again

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    I can relate to every post on this thread! Lol, Only difference was I've always wanted a little boy I was kinda disapointed when I found out I was having another girl and although I'm glad we got to find out I think its taken a little bit of my excitement away from the whole pregnancy which sounds really awful but I'm not meaning it in a bad way I understand people will read this and think its wrong but nobody can help the way they feel xx
     
  18. Rude_Reds

    Rude_Reds Pregnant with #2

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    I want a girl but I would prefer 2 know if I'm having a boy early so I can get used 2 d idea. Gender disappointment does happen and it's normal. But I think the earlier u know, the more time it gives u 2 adjust.
     

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