General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[DobbyForever]

I can haz internet hugs?

 

[gigglebox]

Well ladies, i jumped off the bus again. Excerpt from my journal:

After battling some bad anxiety recently, and having a melt down today over Des' speech, I've made the choice to put ttc on hold. It's just too much for me to handle...Des needs some help getting his speech down and I want to see some progress in him before I add hormones and a subsequent infant into the mix. I also really need to work on processing my anxiety because I don't want it to sneak up on me while I'm pregnant and have that stress effect the baby. I've been having near anxiety attacks the past couple days and I just don't feel it's right in my heart to try for a baby right now...and I'm fully aware I may feel different in a week, and that's eating at me, too. All the stress could very well be why we haven't gotten pregnant yet.

That said, we did DTD 3 days ago and I'm probably going to ovulate within the next 24 hours or so, so I guess there's a chance this cycle but it's quite small. I'm fairly certain I wasn't fertile a couple days ago. We'll see, but I'm not counting on it.

I didn't want a big age gap between kids, but hopefully this will just be a couple months delay or so.

Right now i'm just emotionally drained, but feeling a little better not having to stress out about ttc'ing right now. We're so busy anyway with trying to establish a business and getting the house organized...i think me not being pregnant yet will hopefully be a blessing in disguise.

What i didn't write in my journal is i'm going to start the search for a shrink. I really need some help processing negative stuff. I melt down and freak out over everything.

Dobs, sorry you're also dealing with anxiety bs. It's the worst.

Campn, I'm sure you must be nervous, but it's almost certainly due to your dates seeming like they're off, when we all know here they aren't. Hope you get to see something good on your upcoming scan

 

[DobbyForever]

Hugs. Gigs, I am so sorry. I am glad you feel safe and comfortable enough to share that with us. I wish I could say keep your chin up, but considering that my chin is 6 feet under I don't know how convincing that would be. It is so admirable of you to put your wants/needs aside to make sure you are providing Des and your future LO with the best scenario possible. You are an incredible mother, and like you said it will hopefully just be a couple of months. I hope you find someone that you can connect with.

 

[mrs.green2015]

Gig sorry your off the bus but glad you get to focus on your family. Hugs.


Hugs to you too dobs!
I think we've all had rough days.

 

[DobbyForever]

I just don't know that I'm strong enough to keep dealing with these rough days. I just want to throw in the towel. Run away and disappear. Or just disappear.

 

[gigglebox]

I hear that...disappearing sounds so easy. But, as they say, you can always die tomorrow.

Thanks for the kind words i don't feel like a very good mom recently...part of the reason i'm putting off a second....but it is what it is. I will work on it, i have no other (realistic) options.

Hang in there Mrs and Dobs. I know there are good things ahead for you both. Shitty things are always balanced out by greatness if you hold out to see it come to fruition.

 

[campn]

Gigs- my heart goes out to you and you should do whatever you feel is right and what makes you most at peace. I think timing is really everything and your time to have a second child will come but I so understand not wanting to go into it very stressed out and anxious. Last year I put TTC on hold until July because I was just too depressed to be honest. Seeing a shrink is so wonderful and I hope you can find someone who can help you out. I'm sure Des's speech will pick up, if he doesn't play with other kids or go to preschool it's harder to learn new words early on but I promise you he'll catch up.

You're in my thoughts and I'm sending you lots and lots of good vibes. I hope your wait is short and that you kick this in the face and feel better in no time, clementine!

Sending all of you lovely awesome ladies wonderful vibes, I can feel this is getting to many of us and it's easy to crack after holding up for so long. Hopefully oneday we can look back and barely even remember why we felt so down!

 

[campn]

I just don't know that I'm strong enough to keep dealing with these rough days. I just want to throw in the towel. Run away and disappear. Or just disappear.

That would really really suck cause what is life without the Dobs!???

 

[DobbyForever]

I love you all. You have helped me through so much, and I wish I was stronger person. I really do. You helped me hang in there so much longer than I could have with you. For all my preggers, I am wishing you all the best with your pregnancies. For all my WTT and TTC friends, sending you lots of baby dust.

 

[campn]

Dobby- You're already a strong person. I hope you can take a good look and see that. You're still here and you're trying and that takes SO much courage and strength. I wanted to give up after 1 cycle. You're a fighter.
I know what weakness looks like, and it looks nothing like you.

DOBBY HAS NO MASTER! (Had to go with the Harry Potter reference)

In the midst of your own worries you comforted all of us.
Same to everyone if you ladies, you had your own troubles and yet you were fully supportive and amazing.

 

[mrs.green2015]

Dobs is amazing! You're so strong and put up with so much I never ever could. I kinda think you're badass. Days like today suck but it'll get better it just takes time. We love you!

 

[JLM73]

Oh my
Our little group is falling apart at the seams
Dobs, Gigs huge
Pls don't disappear!!
I have had the worst week EVER with both mom and older son going at me like pitbulls!!
Chatting here was my only sane activity...
I must say - MUSIC is def my therapy- it has helped me TREMENDOUSLY the last couple days. It is better than Any doc I've dealt with as there is always a song for any mood, thought, melt down or moment of Rage, and I have used them ALL this week - You have no idea! Seriously I had sheriffs here the other night over moms BS- but I plugged in music the last 2 days to calm my anxiety, and oddly enough
Mom worked out a proposal to sell the house amicably, so we split the profit and both move on, and even my Jackass son was apologetic for his behavior, and thanked me
Hell surely has frozen and there are winged pigs flying over the lavafalls

I hope we will all still chat here once in a while. I def will be around.
I you all!!!!

Ok ...back to Amy Whinehouse docs...It is SOooo odd to me, but I can relate on Soooo many levels to her thoughts and feelings.
Crazy who you can find inspiration in on this crazy big blue and green ball!

 

[JLM73]

Ugh can't
Must...get....Rx lol
Nothing better than getting 3-4 hrs sleep a night for over a week....

 

[DobbyForever]

Ladies it hurts bad near my right ovary. I am in so much pain. I haven't slept. 8 on the pain scale. I'm worried why am I only cramping on one side and so much? I can't go to the ER I have to go to wotk

 

[DobbyForever]

Hurts so much I can't walk, I had to wake SO up toe curling agony.

 

[gigglebox]

J, i have no intentions of going anywhere. I'm going to hang around and watch y'all get bfp's and hopefully i can get this anxiety bs under control and join everyone back on the ttc bus soon.

Dobs, that sounds really bad...might be a twisted cyst which is a serious situation as you can lose your ovary! Please get medical help! And update us!

 

[campn]

Dobby- I'm with gigs, please try to go and get looked at as soon as you can. If you can't even walk just call in sick. Please update us, I hope it's nothing serious.

 

[pacificlove]

Sorry ladies, lots of cyber hugs to all of you! I hope none of you leave, I love talking to you all. Pregnant, ttc, etc. We've all had a rough week so lets all enjoy a glass of wine together tonight.
Hugs again!!

 

[DobbyForever]

I have an urgent care appointment at 9. The pain is gone but it's really tight and sore. There was so much blood. Will update.

 

[mrs.green2015]

Sorry dobs! Hope you get some answers and it's a quick fix.