General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[gigglebox]

Ohh happy birthday Dobby!! What a place to spend it! Yummm red velvet with cream cheese frosting mmmmmm

And lol just eating better so far. Although I’ve started to walking a bit in my treadmill too

 

[DobbyForever]

Thank you! It was a nice trip. Happy to be home. I'm exhausted, and A is still zooming about haha. I don't even want to look at my credit card bill. The only upside is I had to pay off the hotel/ tickets/ transportation back in May so the only current hit is whatever we spent there. But I will say while their hotels and tickets were cheaper than Disney, everything else was so much more expensive! Definitely gonna byob next time haha.

Nice! That's really awesome that you've seen improvement with a few small changes. I hate that plateau though.

 

[DobbyForever]

I’m gonna marry him and pop out at least one of his babies or he’s going to destroy what little faith in humanity I have left. No in between lol

 

[autumnal]

Happy birthday!! I hope things go well with the new guy!

 

[DobbyForever]

We had the perfect overnight. He took such great care of me in every way possible. I’m one smitten kitten haha

 

[autumnal]

He looks like he's a sweetheart. You look so happy!

 

[JuniBjones]

Aww you guys look so in love ! I love that for you guys

 

[DobbyForever]

Thank you! He asked me to be his girlfriend yesterday. Gave a whole little speech and a bouquet of roses.

 

[shaescott]

Awwww Dobs I love this for you

Sorry guys life has been crazy and this new job is working me to the bone a lot of days. DH and I have been struggling a bit with the transition (just feels like we’re roommates some days and we’ve been arguing), but we’ve recognized it and are working on it, and we planned a date day for tomorrow to try to get some good connection time.

In other news my mom told me last night that she’s worried about us having infertility because we’ve been using withdrawal for 4 years and haven’t ended up pregnant, thanks mom for stressing me out at 11 PM. So now I’m gonna make an appointment to look into my luteal phase spotting issue that’s been going on for over a year now (this cycle it literally started the same day as my positive OPK, like wtf), and if I can convince DH, I’d like to do a sperm analysis too.

 

[autumnal]

Sorry to hear you've been having a rough time.
I don't think you should worry about that. There's a poster in my doctor's office about different birth control methods and "when done perfectly" the withdrawal method is actually surprisingly good

 

[DobbyForever]

Ugh sorry for the stress! I have to agree. I know you two have had some long shot slips but I think this thread is a testament to how effective p/o can be. It’s hard not to stress. That being said, nothing wrong checking under the hood to make sure the cars are running solid. Plus hey if there’s an explanation and solution for the sporting/bleeding, good deal.

I’m really glad you two paused and are gonna do a reset. Social media culture really has us out here thinking happy couples never argue or need to be intentional. I’ve been getting a lot of Michelle Obama talking about her marriage in my reels lately and I love that she speaks so openly about how they’ve had to work at it and go the therapy and have hard conversations and resets. What fun stuff are you gonna get up to for date night?

Thank you ladies! I gained 10lbs in like 3 weeks and he’s been so different from my past bfs. It’s so refreshing. Very I fell for you not your body. You’re beautiful as is regardless of what the scale or one bad day/angle makes me think. Just absolutely such a nice change.

That being said I gained 10lbs in 3 weeks lol. I love to eat and have been on trip after trip or social events with food so once I get back from my SoCal trip it’s on

Also it sounds like I might be able to get the regional center to reimburse for A’s horseback riding! Which would be such a game changer. It’s $95/lesson once a week.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs we went thrifting for old DVDs lol and then got hot pot. It was a lot of fun. Then we had a blowup fight the next day but we’re working on it. I sure ain’t giving up, this bitch is stuck with me.

 

[DobbyForever]

Ooo any good dvds? Hot pot is so yummy. Sorry there was another fight! Is there a common thing to the convo when you two are mad or is it just general easily triggered from being overwhelmed? Hopefully it’s a quickly passing phase that you two look back on as a moment you two overcame together

 

[gigglebox]

Dobby!!! Ahhhh I’m so happy for you! And holy moly is the way he asked you to go exclusive romantic such as example of finding love when you’re not looking/least expect it. The couples photo is cute so has he met A yet?

Shae ugh so sorry about the stress you’ve been under. What are you fighting about? I guess it’s good practice for when baby comes because nothing tests a relationship like a newborn.

I support getting checked out due to the spotting, but don’t let your mom get in your head. She’s been wrong about you being pregnant on more than one occasion, just saying….and HELLO, 4 kids here with only 1 oopsie after 14 years! I’m plenty fertile and had good success with p/o (until I didn’t). I know I had two suspected c/p’s using it but those time he broke the rules lol

 

[gigglebox]

Up at 6:30 today because baby isn’t sleeping well….and 2 out of 4 kids are sick, and so al I, and hubby’s coming down with it >.< just praying the baby avoids it but I won’t hold my breath. In the meantime my coughing has made him cry twice lol sorry baby!

 

[DobbyForever]

Yeah it’s blowing up we’re probably gonna break up.

He lied about his name. He lied about being married to his ex. He lied about the fact that she was pregnant and she last Dec. he says she lost the baby third trimester because she had lupus and they never overcame that and broke up. But I truthfindered him and her CURRENT address comes up at the geotag he forgot to remove on some recent pics he sent me and it’s THE SAME.

The weird thing is I have checked everywhere, paid and free, and there’s no marriage license or record of divorce. There’s no car at his house with a baby seat. Yes I got pissed and drove over. The doorbell is broken!

Anyway…. The name thing was stipud and cuz we met on tinder but I had a CTJ with him not to lie to me anymore! And he did say that he needed to talk to me in person about some stuff but I was in San Diego until last night. He says all this stuff was the first thing he planned to talk about tomorrow.

Anyway. My brother is pissed. I’m pissed. Idefk like ffs I just need to stop trying at this point

Thankfully A hasn’t met him. He knkws his name because he texts a lot and A plays on my phone. But A knows him as a friend who like to fix stuff and gosh. My mom refused to meet him because her gut doesn’t like him. I haven’t even told her about this drama. I was gonna take him out to a community event tomorrow to soft launch intros to people I know but don’t matter but that’s a hell no now

Gigs oh my! Hope yall feel better asap!

 

[autumnal]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. What a *******!

 

[DobbyForever]

My mature friend (I only got the one LOL) who is a licensed marriage and family therapist talked to me all morning. Basically, we’ve decided to hear him out today. Everything involving friends, family, coworkers, and acquaintances is off the table. DTD is off the table. If I choose to stay, we do a hard reset to just dating. Things were moving too fast anyway. And if things were meant to be then this is something we’ll overcome and be stronger for. If not, at least he hasn’t met A.

But yeah I’m still in a headspin.

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh and we agreed that our date today is now replaced with going to his house and I want to see some paperwork (divorce, lease, snoop around the house)

 

[autumnal]

Just make sure he is not trying to pull any more fast ones on you.
Fwiw my brother went by his middle name on dating sites because he was embarrassed of his coworkers finding out, but he told his now-partner the truth a few dates in. But he was honest about going through a divorce.