I agree with you, and I think it is really pedantic of your HV to get the GP involved because your LO had gained half an oz less than she said would be acceptable (or at least this is what I understand from your post). As I said overall your LO has gained on average 4-5oz every week since week two if you divide it all up; your LO is not currently on the charts but would have been born just above the 2nd centile, if your LO was born say on the 50th they would not have been so funny if they had fallen to the 9th or the 2nd. I am not saying formula top ups are not needed in extreme cases but almost every case I have seen like this; either the baby is healthy but just a small gainer naturally but by the time this is realised formula has completely taken over; or there is an underlying cause that is not helped by just glossing it over by giving formula top ups and again by the time this is realised it is often too late to return to EBF. When a FF baby has trouble gaining weight its not assumed the feeding method is to blame or the baby is not getting enough, and on the rare occasions it is the HCPs are relaxed about it and say just feed more often and see how things go; when its BF involved low supply is always blamed without any basis and top ups are always seen as the first course of action
. Imagine the uproar if a FF baby had this problem and a doctor said they think the mum should try topping up with donor breastmilk as a solution?
Sorry I wasnt clearer, the doctor came in to give bubs his jabs, but while he was there I then felt 'ganged up on'
The doctor that checked DS2 for prolonged jaundice at the hospital did look at DS2's red book and even he said that DS2 was just gonna be a baby who slowly put the weight back on but again the HV counters that by saying the hospital will ask why I have done Formula top ups....I just feel stuck in this vicious circle with no end.
The doctor saw us just the other week, there was concern that bub had silent reflux, but we had been giving him gripe and that seemed to help. We still give him gripe regularly, the HV told us to give it at every feed. Again though I even question that now, is there something else that gripe is hiding?
I knew he was below the bottom centile, but I pulled out all of the older children's red books and she saw for herself that none of my others have been in the higher centiles, they are all relatively small.....H and I are only 5ft4 and 5ft2.
I get frustrated at the lack of active help they are prepared to give me, I also feel that sometimes Im not offered the help (for example) a first time mum would get! I feel that just cos I have others that I breast fed Im not expected to have problems and when I do I should 'just get on with it' Every child is their own person, so why is it expected that I should know how to deal with problems?
Summer rain your comparison is so right, I never thought of it that way before.....I just feel that the HVs in this new area are so quick to force FF as opposed to offer active BF help, like its an easy answer, it isnt them that has to keep trying....it isnt them who has to do the work!
One other thing I wanted advice on (I do hope its my paranoia and not a problem) but DS2 seems to latch on 9/10 times easily, but then pulls of screaming. We have to try to calm him down a bit to try to get him back on, normally if I can get him back on he feeds fine, but only for about 10-15 mins (is this normal?) other times he refuses to go back on and just gets himself all wound up......any advice or suggestions as to why he is doing this?
I had started to relax thinking that he was latched on for less time due to getting the hang of it, and just getting the milk out more effectively, however after Fri Im back to trying to second-guess myself and thinking that this is the sign of another issue!
Sorry and thank you again so much for all the help and advice
Sorry I know I do tend to ramble, H says that I am over analyzing things too much now, but I cant help it. I feel like I have 10 days to get DS2 up to whatever weight she thinks he should be, and if he isnt then I wont have any say in it....I just sometimes feel like my head might explode with all the stress, then the HV tells me to stop worrying about it and just enjoy him.....how can I when I feel she has me playing her numbers game!
How would I know if I have thrush? I don't think I do, but I read that it can feel as if nipples are burning and they do feel like that occassionally. Thank you so much for the reply and encouragement, I'm trying, it's just hard when you hurt 
I would also like to recommend co-sleeping (you by no means have to do this), it makes night feeding so much easier!! My LO and I share the same sleep pattern and I wake up each morning well rested. There is no getting up to warm bottles. We just use a side-lying position. It's great!! 
