Getting Fit Before Baby

[ireadyermind]

So sorry af decided to arrive IRYM!

Hopefully they will let you do letrozole this cycle and be ready for April.

I should probably make a physical pros/cons list. But honestly, I think one child would definitely have way more pros. Which kinda plays on why I want one, but then there is that part of me that doesn't want to regret not having another one. And to be honestly DH is being completely useless. I think he is completely indifferent and it is making me frustrated.

Thanks.

I'm sorry your DH is being so uncooperative. Do you think he's pulling the "I have to be a strong emotionless man" card and only pretending not to care, or is it that he actually does not have any desire to participate in this discussion?

And if it's the latter, do you think his indifference would continue after the birth of another child? As in, would he also be indifferent, unhelpful, etc. with baby #2?

 

[ireadyermind]

Update: Just got off the phone with the clinic. Looks like my only option for March is to wait it out. They won't give me fertility meds unless I agree to come in for regular ultrasounds (and they said I have to do a trigger shot even if I don't plan on an IUI), which doesn't work with our moving schedule at all.

So I asked about Provera to force a period, and they said their minimum cycle length for that is 45 days!

I told the lady that's much too long, especially considering they consider a long "average" cycle to be 35 days. She said to call back if I go over 35 days (lol... IF? Without letrozole, it's WHEN) and they'll consider giving me provera then. I guess it's something.


Sooo back to temping this month for me, and we play the waiting game. It's going to be a looong 35 - 45 days! lol

 

[krissie328]

I'm sorry your DH is being so uncooperative. Do you think he's pulling the "I have to be a strong emotionless man" card and only pretending not to care, or is it that he actually does not have any desire to participate in this discussion?

And if it's the latter, do you think his indifference would continue after the birth of another child? As in, would he also be indifferent, unhelpful, etc. with baby #2?

I think that he does have an opinion but I haven't figured it out. I think he is actually leaning towards not having any more but I know if we had another he would be excited. With both my losses he was so over the moon. But I think cycle after cycle is wearing us both down.

We have been together for almost 13 years. We always talked about having multiple children (he actually wanted 3 or 4). So to now be discussing an only is very different. We are both in our early 30s so that is not an issue. It is more an issue that we are already looking at a 4 year age gap and now we aren't sure the benefits of a sibling will be what we desired. Plus we are both happy with what we have now with DS.

And maybe that is what bothers me. I am happy with DS and I am afraid that an another baby will push me back into the depression I had a lot of DS early months. I didn't cope well at all and I have no desire to repeat that. But I also don't want to regret not having another one for what I think feels so selfish.

 

[krissie328]

IRYM- just saw your update. That is disappointing. I have the same long cycles too and it just sucks. Do you ever ovulate on your own?

 

[ireadyermind]

I see what you're saying with your DH. The TTCing gets so exhausting. The repeated hope and let downs, the jaded feeling you get when you see a BFP and then spend you next weeks bouncing from joy to terror that you're just gonna lose everything again... It's not all fun and games.

Since you're young enough, I say don't worry too much about waiting.

There is a 10 year age gap between me and my youngest sister. We get along just fine -- and we rarely fought as kids. Additionally, I was able to provide my mother with a lot of help when it came to diaper changes, making sure the baby didn't get into anything, etc. Which meant my mom was able to cook without distractions, clean house, etc. because I was perfectly capable of holding a bottle, changing a diaper or sitting in the bathroom with sister in the bathtub.

With a slightly larger age gap, you may not go through that same sort of depression after baby #2 because you won't have to worry as much about DS.

Not to say that you won't worry about him at ALL, but he will be old enough to understand things better, to not need 100% of your attention 100% of the time, and will be at a stage where he can go out and do Big Brother things with Dad, etc.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is: Don't stress over waiting a year if that's what you wanna do! The age gap isn't as big a deal as you might think.



As for me -- I always ovulate on my own. It's just that sometimes it isn't until CD33 or later.

I was hoping that they'd be able to give me meds to force ovulation earlier so I'd have a 30 day cycle instead of a 50 day cycle. But I guess they can't without all those other strings attached. Booooo.

 

[krissie328]

Thanks for that insight! It actually helps a lot. I've decided just to let it go for now and revisit in a couple months. I still need to lose weight and get to a place I'd even feel comfortable getting pregnant.

That definately sucks waiting so long to o. Hopefully it will cooperate and you'll be able to move on quickly into April.

 

[drjo718]

Swimmy- so happy to hear counseling is helping!

Krissy- I'm sorry you're struggling with a decision. I think it's a good plan to just wait a while and revisit the topic later. Thinking of you.

Iread- if you had iui in mid-April, that would give you a due date of early January, and you could very well end up with a Christmas baby. So maybe that's the bright side of being forced to wait longer?

Afm, we just finished in san francisco and arrive in Anaheim late last night. I bled for 24 hours ending last night, mostly when wiping, but needed a liner. I'm hoping everything is fine and it's just the hemorrhage bleeding. We did a bit of hiking Saturday in Muir woods, so maybe that irritated it.

 

[ireadyermind]

Krissie - You're welcome, glad it helped a little.

DrJo - Very true. As it stands, if we have to wait 45ish days for my next AF, it looks like I'd end up ovulating closer to April 30th which would be better. Still, it gets very tiresome with all this waiting waiting waiting! lol


I'm sure everything's OK with your little bean in there.

 

[drjo718]

Iread, thanks. Right now I feel like everything is fine, it's just so much unknown in the weeks to come. I empathize with you on the waiting. Before femara, my cycles were 2-5 months long, so I get it.

 

[Greensboroug]

This is actually my goal. My SO is very fit and wants me to keep up. I think that is reasonable. I have seen the pictures with fit model having 3 babies at 40, I don't think that should be a problem at all.

 

[ireadyermind]

Greensboroug - Hello! Welcome to our thread! Do you have a specific amount of weight you'd like to lose, or are you simply aiming to become more fit overall?

 

[swimmyj1]

Irym - sorry i probably didn't word that very well, my DH is going to the marriage counseling with me but they suggested private sessions as well and he won't go to those. Which is fine I get hes uncomfortable talking with a "stranger" so as long as hes going to the marriage counseling and its helping I'm a happy camper. Another focus last week was a healthy sex life post baby hahaha we actually managed to do the deed twice this week. hehehe huge improvement from 2-3 times a month! (i checked to see if i happen to be ovulating and of course im not darn) I'm sorry to see AF showed up and that you are gonna have to wait so long for the next round.

Drjo - i'm sure it's nothing but i know how scary bleeding can be. too bad they don't have "cheep" home ultrasounds that you can just take a quick peek hehe. hiking sounds wonderful! i can't wait to go this summer! today was so nice and it killed me not to go.

Krissie - i hate when Dh's won't put in their input when it comes to TTC its like HELLOOOO don't you want a say in any of this? it takes 2 your know lol. Hang in there hun. My friend had really bad post partum with her first baby waited almost 5-6 years to have the second and didn't have it at all with the second baby. not saying that always happens but having a little helper to keep an eye out while she took a shower or whatever around the house she said helped a lot. Plus when her daughter was in school she got to take naps/have alone time with baby #2.

Greens - welcome to the group!!!

afm - not wanting to get on the scale Dh keeps bringing home treats/snacks and as much as i love cupcakes when i end up on TLC weight loss shows he will for sure be listed as my enabler Going to my parents this weekend and treating myself to a hair cut/color I have more grey hair than my grandma right now hahaha.

 

[drjo718]

I have an ultrasound with the specialists on Wednesday, shortly before my first midwife appointment. I'm scared they won't find a heartbeat. I've had 3 bleeding/spotting episodes in 9 days. My hemorrhage is in the lower uterine segment which tends to be worse bc the bleeding irritates the cervix. For now I'm on pelvic rest and not to lift more than 30 lbs. Keeping my fingers crossed for good news on Wed.

 

[swimmyj1]

Oh drjo I really hope you get good news. Any bleeding is really scary in pregnancy. Have you had any cramping??

I'm down 2 lbs right now yay me!!!
also what do you guys think of this opk i took today?

 

[drjo718]

Swimmy, I've had very mild cramping occasionally. Nothing worrisome. Last spotting was on Thursday and my cervix is closed. Still puking though.

That opk looks super positive to me! Are you ttc again?

 

[swimmyj1]

yeah i think we are going to start. i still haven't gotten a period yet so i've just been taking opks at random lol. gonna attack my DH when I get home from work tonight hahahaha i think he will know what thats about
I'll take another test today and let you know what it says

 

[krissie328]

Drjo- I hope your scan goes well and all is fine. Bleeding is so stressful.

Swimmy- that's one positive opk! Good luck.

 

[ireadyermind]

DrJo - FX'd everything's okay! That spotting would be worrisome to me too.

Swimmy - I agree, looks positive to me too! Good luck TTC #2 and make sure to post lots of line porn for us!

Krissie - I see that new pic of your DS. Very cute!



AFM - DH and I had some work done in our master bath over the weekend. The contractor screwed up and ordered us the wrong siding, though, and they had to take a 3rd day to install that. The contractor wasn't very professional in the way he handled it. He first tried to blame ME for the issue, then blamed his boss, then blamed it on the items in the warehouse not being labeled, and then finally admitted that even though he looked at our order form and saw "4x4 white tile", he still grabbed the flat, plain, cheap siding that someone else ordered. Sigh.

Saturday evening and Sunday afternoon, DH and I repaired about 15 feet/5 meters of fence in our back yard, dug up plants and roots that were damaging the fence, etc. I ache like you wouldn't believe! So much bending, hauling, hammering, prying... Whew! It's probably good I'm not currently pregnant, or I'd never have been able to help poor DH with all of it.

We still have quite a lot of work to do before we can sell the house, but it's all coming along nicely.

 

[MissDoc]

Hey ladies! Hope all is well with you all! Everything is alright here. I have about 9-10 weeks left to go and am now hitting the uncomfortable, lots of reflux, achey all over stage. But baby boy is doing well and is at the 71st %ile by sonogram, so that's good (he was measuring even bigger, but is starting to regress down toward average, thankfully). I've gained 29 lbs in 30 weeks, and my doc has encouraged me not to gain any more (ideally) in this last stretch. So I'm making more of an effort. To be honest, I was living like it was a bit of a free for all. Eating whatever I wanted. Now I'm reigning it in. Today is day 5 of new and improved behavior (tracking food, aiming for 80+g protein, getting enough water, having veggies and fruit daily, not overdoing the sweets, walking more, etc.). Trying to keep it going.

DrJo-- Really hope your little one is safe and secure in there. My fingers are crossed for you!

IRYM-- Man those long cycles must suck having to wait so long. TTC is already so much waiting without long cycles even. Hang in there!

Swimmy-- I'd definitely call that positive... happy bd'ing! And YAY YAY YAY on the weight loss. Congrats!

 

[swimmyj1]

Irym - I am always sooo impressed by how great you and your dh are at do it yourself projects!! I hate yard work (so my yard is pretty simple lol). I would not be happy with that contractor at all!!! Playing the blame game is not ok. My friend had that happen when she ordered carpet the company ordered and brought the wrong one. They ended up getting it for free and just had to pay for labor!! I probably would have kept the wrong color carpet too hahaha

Doc - I'm sorry your getting uncomfortable I know the last 3 months it's almost impossible. Good job on tracking your food. I'm still up about 27lbs but most of it was gained after having lizzy so no excuse there

Today's 2 tests were again very very + even more than the one I posted (on my phone so can't put up a picture) I don't usually have surges like this hmmmm