Getting Fit Before Baby

[Fern81]

Hi everyone

I'm fasting from tomorrow until end March (same as last year). I will be taking a break from ttc, social media including bnb, while eating very limited foods etc (not for diet purposes but for the fast) point is I won't be checking in again for a while. Just know that I will be thinking of all of you, praying for your happiness & wellbeing and will definitely be back (& hopefully will see loads of bfps on here!).

I'm leaving on a very sad note actually....
I was chatting to my husband today about IVF related matters. I asked him how he feels about putting back 1 or more embies (IF we get to IVF and IF there are actually embies), about possibly freezing embies, about destroying embies if we don't use them all etc (hell, it's important to sort out these issues before we get to the procedure!!). He said he literally doesn't give a sh*t.
Then went on to say that with the CP back in December, when I was losing my MIND, he didn't feel anything, and doesn't feel anything when he thinks of our potential/ past embryos. He says embryos are nothing and mean nothing and he doesn't see them as the beginning of a baby. I burst into tears in the stupid PUB he took me to for valentines day (!!) and asked doesn't he at least feel something about the fact that an embryo is the product of fertilization of the two of us?? Well needless to say he is a heartless ******* who thinks IVF embryos implanted into the uterus are "just test-tube products" and they mean less than the full stop after this sentence. (He even made a very mean joke about "test tube babies" and frozen embryos!! Which I will NOT post here).

Now I respect the fact that everyone has their own opinion regarding when a zygote/blastocyst/embryo/fetus starts counting as a "human being". But WTF we were talking about OUR OWN EMBRYOS, products of OUR "love".

I'm really questioning more and more whether I should even keep trying to have children with this selfish man. Granted, I can't have kids in any case and just getting pregnant would take a serious miracle... but is it even worth trying anymore? All this heartache, thousands of Rands spent, and I don't even have a team mate. Will he be an awful, selfish dad....??

Anyway, I'm hoping fasting and praying will bring me closer to God again and help me gain some perspective on this issue and many others. I'll see you all at the end of March (lol I'll be spending all day Monday after Easter Sunday catching up on everyone's news!)

 

[ireadyermind]

Fern! So sorry to hear about such a horrible thing! How selfish, tactless, rude... there are many things I could say about your DH's behavior, but I won't. It's just so shocking to hear him say those things if you've been TTCing for so long together!

He clearly didn't bother to think about what he said to you, like you asked him to do. He didn't consider what his words might do to your feelings. We'll be here waiting for you after your fast if you decide to come back. I hope that everything turns out for the best.

We'll miss you!

 

[mrs.green2015]

Fern- sorry he was being like that. Sometimes men don't get it. Hugs. And can't wait until you come back. I wish you the best with fasting!

 

[cupcakestoy]

Fern-im sorry your dh is being such a jerk! I don't blame you for reconsidering TTC with him. I would have a hard time with it too. I hope he gets his crap together soon! Hugs girly. .

 

[ireadyermind]

Well, happy Monday, gals! Here's to another week of fitness and ttc!

Updates for me:

DH and I started work on our back yard yesterday. We bought some marking spray and figured out where retaining walls needed to go, where we needed to dig, etc.

Unfortunately it looks like some genius mixed GRAVEL in with our soil! Shoveling that was a nightmare. We made good progress in a couple of hours, but I ache all over from that hard work. We're going to have to rent a rototiller to loosen up the gravel-dirt and shovel it away, and DH wants to rig some kind of sifting tool so we can get most of that gravel OUT of there. It's no wonder the previous owner couldn't get grass to grow back there! lol

I'm glad we're only working on this over the weekends, or else I would be dead after a solid week of digging! lol.

On the TTC front: negative OPK this morning, but I expected that because I'm only on CD10 and don't usually ovulate until CD19 or later. Hopefully, though, the SIs will have moved that up a few days!



How were your gals' weekends?

 

[cupcakestoy]

Sounds like hard work IRYM! I'm the one who does the majority of "projects" here. Bless him dh is NOT inclined, nor likes carpentry, painting, etc.... I don't mind tho! I've become a jack of all trades! LoL my motto is, "not perfect, just better than it was!" Lmbo

Afm-Well no AF & FINALLY got a negative Opk this afternoon! Got plenty of be in, so now we wait! Didn't lose anymore weight, but I'm not sweating it, 13 pounds in 3 weeks is good for me. This is our off week. Still eating clean, but not as strict, also only 3 workouts this week, which for me will have to be the gym.... Went for my PT eval today nothing new...unsure if PT will help, so I'm to let them know after my EMG on Wednesday. Ended up going out in the rain/snow to help our friends start an IV on a cow, that had gotten down with bloat. Was out til 11:30 last night & bout got frost bite!She made it thru the night, but we still can't get her up, so its not looking like she'll make it, but we've done all we can

 

[swimmyj1]

Fern - i'm so sorry, I don't blame you at all for questioning it. but your right everyone feels differently about when life really starts. (side note kind of funny) my cousin is a baby made through ivf but his mom for a long time would refer to the procedure as a "test tube baby" so probably until i was 10 i believed that he grew 100% of the time in a tube lol. and thought that all women should have babies like that sense it would hurt less.

IYRM - that sounds like a ton of work! but I bet it will be very rewarding when its done I have a lot of house work I need to get done. regrouting my tub. Putting in a bathroom ceiling fan. scrubbing baseboards but i just can't seem to find the energy to do it.

Cupcake - seriously 13lbs in 3 weeks that is amazing! Hope this TWW flies by. Im sorry to hear about your friends cow your right that doesn't sound good. funny thing that your having cow problems when this weekend I assisted on inseminating my uncles cow. (very strange to do)

 

[Ursaula]

Fern: If I were in your shoes (which I don't know every detail), I would no longer be with him. I wouldn't be able to handle his abusive ways and me being a very emotional person I wouldn't last. I'm sorry you have some tough decisions ahead. Taking time off to sit and think and focus on yourself sounds like a great idea. I can't wait to hear how you're doing

IRYM: Gravel in your soil? That's ridiculous! I hope you realize how all the hard work will pay off with weight loss though!

Mrs. G: Your chart is looking interesting...I'm really hoping you ovulated there but only time will tell.

Cupcake: Ah, that sucks about the cow! A single mother of a 2 year old slid off the road about two weeks ago and no one saw the vehicle, she ended up losing both of her feet due to frost bite, it's not a fun thing. I'm hoping the cow isn't hurting for long.

Yay for the waiting game! Praying for you

Swimmy: You're almost 13 weeks already? That's crazy!

AFM: My weight loss has been great. I've lost a total of 7lbs so far. I go into the big city on Wednesday to check out a college for fashion that's a lot closer to me. Hoping I can start in September (unless ttc works). S/o is waiting for a call to start hormones and blockers, should get the call within the next few weeks. Once that happens ttc will be done with. We might look into donors but that won't be for a few years I imagine.

 

[mrs.green2015]

Thanks urs. It looks a lot like my January chart. Except for this mornings temp. But this morning our house was warm and I woke up sweating. So I'm ignoring today's temp.
Also, I'm confused about your SO and I don't want to assume.. We all know what happens when people assume lol but is SO transitioning?


Sorry I've been Mia. I've been reading and staying up to date. Ttc has just taken a toll on me so I focused on hubs all weekend. Plus there's a good chance we won't be seeing each other much. He's going back to nights. So we're literally home for three house together, while we're sleeping lol plus there's told of him working 13 days on, one day off. So we would REALLY never see each other.

 

[Ursaula]

Mrs. G: Ah, sorry! Yes, S/o is transitioning to female and has put it off since last May to ttc and now s/o is ready to just go ahead with it so. A few more weeks.

That sucks about your hubby Was it his choice or his work place?

 

[mrs.green2015]

It's his work place but he actually likes it.
Well that's very nice of your SO to wait for Ttc. I hope it happens for you this month! Using a donor not only complicates things but is pricey. Plus is would be amazing to have a baby you both "made" lol
Keeping everything crossed for you.

 

[ireadyermind]

Swimmy - I think you're allowed to be tired, considering you're basically a baby making machine right now! There are more important things than grout for the bath tub.


Mrs.Green - My DH and I used to have shifts like that, too. We'd see each other only a couple hours a day. My boss at the time said to me, "This is how I know you two are going to have a long, happy marriage. You won't be able to get on each other's nerves!" lol


Ursaula - Yeeahh, gravel in the dirt. I really think they did is as a kind of filler, and maybe to help with drainage? I live in a big tract housing neighborhood, so I'm sure they went with the cheapest options on a lot of things. And dirt with rocks in it has got to be cheaper than a good quality soil that's suited for planting. It's no wonder grass won't grow in the back yard! Sheesh.

We'll be building a soil sifter to get rid of all these rocks as we're digging. Maybe I can do something else with the gravel, instead of buying more of it. I do like to recycle/reuse stuff where I can!



AFM - Had a somewhat dark OPK last night. Definitely not positive, but I am really hoping my hormones keep moving in the right direction for ovulation! Wouldn't it be amazing if I ovulated on CD13 or 14 this month?

 

[swimmyj1]

green - me and my dh work opposite shifts. before he quit his old job we could go 3-4 days without seeing each other at all. Totally right though its hard to get annoyed when you don't see each other hahahaha. its been a little bit of a harder transition for me when hes home while im trying to sleep.

ireadyermind - we have a pretty gravel pathway in our back yard that goes through a garden area. Always fun ways to recycle

going for my doctors appointment on thursday nothing fun of exciting just a check up but its at like 830 am yuck!

 

[cupcakestoy]

Urs-Have you guys thought about freezing SO's sperm? Check into it!
Irym-ugh what a hassle! Wondering if they gravelled for drainage or something useful? I'd ask a landscaper before i did all that work! Lol Good luck on O-ing soon!
Mrs. G- when dh & i got together, he worked 2nds, i worked daysweekends was pretty much all we had until i cut back hours. Luckily he transferred to days about 3 years after we married
Swimmy-good luck on your appt tomorrow!

For those of you interested, an EMG starts out feeling like grabbing an electric fence, then the 2nd phase feels like multiple bee stings :/ Results are mild carpal tunnel in right, moderate to severe in left :/ not sure what the plan is until I see Dr. McKinney in March. Until then wrist braces while driving long distances, elbow bands all the time except at bed, ibuprofen 2-3 x a day & continue Meloxicam, ice massage to elbows/forearms 2-3x a day. Don't "over do it" with pulling/lifting....& can use the TENS unit as needed....Dr. Nichols is awesome & he did tell me approx. 8out of 10 people who work a repetitive job or hobby end up getting Carpal Tunnel....who's next????? Bahahaha!

 

[cupcakestoy]

Feeling a little sad today as my DD is 17 today! WOW. Time has flown & it hurts my heart to hear her making plans for the future, since I know she will be spreading her wings & leaving the nest in the next couple of years....This mom is beyond proud, but to be honest my heart hurts today!

 

[swimmyj1]

Where does the time go I'm sorry cupcake I'm sure them getting older isn't easy at all.

 

[mrs.green2015]

Aww I'm sorry cupcake! But she's able to go conquer the world now because how amazing you raised her.

 

[ireadyermind]

Swimmy - We're swapping wood chips for gravel in the front flower beds, so it's possible we could just dump the sifted gravel there instead of buying more!

Cupcake - We did talk to a landscaper and we were first instructed to solve the sloped land issue by a home inspector guy. The land slopes toward the house and water pools right at the base of our foundation because of it. We're making the yard mostly flat (with a slight slope AWAY from the house) and adding a French Drain to the side yard so the water flows right out to the storm drain in the front of the house. Lots of work ahead!

Kids growing up and leaving the nest is a bittersweet experience, I'm sure. I haven't had to experience that yet, but to you!


AFM -- OPK this morning is about 50% dark. Darker than last night for sure, and I had another temp dip today. I'm really really hoping to get a +OPK in the next day or two! DH and I started our usual BD routine last night, since I am not 100% sure when I'll ovulate, thanks to the SIs. It could be in two days, it could still happen around CD20. In either case, we'll have our bases covered. I'm just wishing for a shorter cycle! lol

 

[mrs.green2015]

Great idea to cover your bases!


Afm- my temp dipped today and I have lots of watery cm. which I get before AF. Which means although I have crosshairs it's not real and no ovulation occurred. I'm waiting to hear from the doctor. I emailed her two days ago asking for her to take me on as a patient. I'm hoping she does. As my actual doctor said "try for a year and if not pregnant see our fertility specialist" well once AF shows we HAVE been trying for a year. And she means a year from mc.. That would have us trying for another 9 months! Ugh. We'll see. Either way I'll be making a doctors appointment once AF shows and demand some answers.

 

[swimmyj1]

green - if you have already been trying a year that's dumb they want you to wait until you see the specialist. I really hope you get some answers soon that is so frustrating!