Getting tired of other women comparing

[2have4kids]

Aug 27, my birthday is Sept 2 and I've heard that first time babies are sometimes late, it would be fun to have same date birthdays with my first born!

 

[mara16jade]

My MIL keeps telling me its too early to be showing and that I shouldn't be feeling any symptoms. Ugh.

Oh, and that I should have a boy first since in China that's preferred. LOL Sorry, but go "F" yourself! I hope I have a girl just to spite her. I married a Chinese man but really he only looks Chinese...everything else about him is your standard Southern California guy. haha Much to his mothers dislike.

 

[wookie130]

Now THAT would piss me off, Mara16jade. Remind her of how well China's "one child policy" has worked for the country, with the surplus of girls flooding the orphanages, and not enough female partners now to marry the men to reproduce with. Infuriating.

 

[mara16jade]

Its getting old. She keeps saying that she can't wait to have her grandSON running around. I always respond with grandDAUGHTER would be nice too! It makes me so mad. I really, really hope I have a baby girl. Fx

ETA: Over Christmas I jokingly mentioned to her that the Chinese calendar predicts a girl. And then she got so happy saying that maybe its a girl then. But soon reverted back to having a boy first is better. I really do think that woman is nuts sometimes.

 

[cluelessnow]

When I meet other mothers at playgroups etc, common ground is talking about your kids playing with each other. I never mean to compare in a bad way like I'm better or what I'm doing is better but more out of curiosity.

I'm on my first child so it's pretty scary sometimes and sometimes it's nice to share experiences just to feel you're not alone and may be there's another way to do something that I've not thought about. I never knew about non drip beakers until I spoke to another mother. It was a great find.

But I've had mothers look at me or talk back at me as if they're upset I say something about my child once they say something about theirs. It sounds like comparing but it's also just a conversation. I don't care if my child's shorter than yours or weigh heavier than yours. It's just nice to share. It's something to talk about. Better than asking about your interests or husband or job. It just seems a bit too personal for a one off meeting and I'd might not see you again.

I've learnt to just not say anything unless the other mother says something first.

Sometimes whatever you were going to say comes off much better after passing a compliment or empthy statement first. You shouldn't have to hold your breath with other moms, but like that lady at work I mentioned in my post, there's a way to say things that will never offend or be seemily competitive. Take a breath after the other person says something and offer a validating comment on what they've just said. It's pretty silly that we have to do this but even it the best business negotiations in the most heated boardrooms, this is the very best way to carry a conversation and gain trust. Then when you state your experience, 'what worked for us', or you know what was cool about this...seems to engage without getting heckles up.

Then again some people you just have to walk away from

Thanks 2have4kids for that. I'll remember for next time. It gets to a point I see the same mothers again and again but because you didn't acknowledge the other existed before, it's harder to acknowledge them after. Some are nice enough to smile back.

 

[2have4kids]

clueless and sometimes ppl change, always go in optimistic but ready to handle any situation. It'd be nice to have some good comebacks to unforeseen snarky remarks.

 

[rustyswife828]

Aug 27, my birthday is Sept 2 and I've heard that first time babies are sometimes late, it would be fun to have same date birthdays with my first born!

Aww! Yeah almost have the same due date! I'm due on August 26

That would be awesome for your baby to have the same birthday as you!!