Giving up

Discussion in 'Long Term Trying To Conceive' started by Jenernie, Jun 27, 2019.

  1. Jenernie

    Jenernie Member

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    So after 3 years trying and 2 miscarriages .. Is it time to give up I'm 35..i have three children with a previous partner... I want us to have a child but how long can you actually carry on
     
  2. elek87

    elek87 Member

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    Hi Jenernie, I know the pain we are trying for our first baby and I am 33 my partner is 39 we both don't have kids. We been trying for 2 years everyday I feel like giving up but I see ladies who been trying for 8 or 13 years and I am inspired again so I will say if you see your baby in your mind and heart one day you will hold it in your armies. I am so sorry to say this someday I feel like I wouldn't mind even a miscarriage just to carry a baby even those few weeks and have a feeling that I once was a mom. For in all my adult life I never use contraceptive except condoms until I know and trust my partner never even once I conceive so sometimes I just ask myself would I ever carry a baby but I will give my all before I give up when God say so to me. Just vent to us I understand. I am sending you :dust:
     
  3. red_head

    red_head Well-Known Member

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    I’ve been trying just over 6 years now for number 1. I’m currently 9 weeks with what seems to be a healthy pregnancy. But I’ve had four losses, including one at 5 months. I think you know when enough is enough. I don’t think I will carry on if this isn’t our rainbow. But then I wonder if I will ever really give up hoping! It just depends how much you can take I think.
    What tests and methods have you tried? I think you need to give everything you can a go before giving up truly, as at least then you know you’ve done what you can.
    Good luck xx
     
  4. OnErth&InHvn

    OnErth&InHvn Waiting on Bee

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    Tried for 10yrs and im 9wks pregnant now. No if, iui, etc.
     
  5. Cewsbaby

    Cewsbaby Mom of 2 boys! Hoping for a 3rd

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    Took me 7 years of actively trying and 2 years of NTNP to get pregnant with my first. It can happen and I was told there was no way to do so naturally. Just keep the faith. It can be so difficult but we're all here for you.
     
  6. Classic Girl

    Classic Girl Well-Known Member

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    I know the feeling. 3 years, 8 losses, now age 46. Can’t do anymore
     
  7. no_regrets_91

    no_regrets_91 LTTTC 10 YEARS

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    I haven't been on this forum for a very long time because I did give up. My husband and I have been ttc our 1st for 10 years. I have PCOS and sought help from an RE, in the past I have not responded at all to any ovulation induction we have tried. Recently I saw an OBGYN to be tested for endometrial hyperplasia. The OBGYN told me that he thought he can make me ovulate so he put me on birth control then I did Clomid for 10 days, once again I didn't ovulate. I thought he was just wasting my time and I was going along with it in the hopes that eventually we could move on to stronger injectable medications. Then I did more birth control this time skipping the placebo pills along with 100 mg of Clomid for 10 days and this time adding metformin. Yesterday I had a follicle scan done on cd13 and I have a 2.35cm follicle on my right ovary. The doctor said I could ovulate any day now. After 10 years and so so many failed cycles where I didn't even respond to the medication, I am going to ovulate for the first time. I finally after a decade feel like we have a chance to become parents. I dont know your story but what I have learned so far for this process is that finding a doctor that won't give up on you and who knows what they're doing can make a world of difference. I'm not pregnant yet but for the first time in a very long time I actually have hope. Hang in there and take care of your self.
     
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  8. co_fostermom

    co_fostermom Mom to 2 Angel Babies

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    It looks like this thread is a few months old, but I'm feeling the same right now. Wondering if I should give up. Then at the same time I have four frozen embryos that I can't imagine abandoning. I can't fathom/ stomach the thought of another woman carrying my children for her own family building and thinking that my kids are out there somewhere.

    I've had two miscarriages, the last one happening at the end of June at 9 weeks and it was a missed miscarriage so I had to have a d&c. It was also my only female embryo. I wasn't ready to give up hope even then but now I'm not so sure. I really hate my body. I'm sure someone will say that's why I'm not pregnant because I'm sending hate to my body. Believe me, I've sent a lot of love to my body the last two years in hopes of being healthy and carrying a healthy pregnancy. Alas, here I am after 8 years of trying and still not pregnant and no kids. It's just all so exhausting, physically and emotionally.
     
  9. Sweetkat

    Sweetkat Well-Known Member

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    Ladies please don't give up. I had 3 missed miscarriages in a row after having DD1. I had just turned 35 and had a miscarriage at 8 weeks, then another one at 6 weeks and another at 10 weeks (all within 10 months). I thought it was hopeless because my OH is much older than me and was on very strong medication that led to high sperm DNA fragmentation.

    He started taking supplements and anti-oxidants and the fragmentation got worse, it was over 50% and all the literature online said that either I wouldn't get pregnant or that I would miscarry. Well the medical articles and the countless drs we saw who suggested IVF were all wrong :). I have a DD2 who is 19 months and a DS1 who is just over 2 months old and I am 39 (had DD2 at 37 and DS1 just before turning 39).

    The time of the MMCs was the darkest and most hopeless in my life. After the third MMC it took me a year to get the courage to try again (I was almost 11 weeks and had to have a D & C, it was awful).

    And whatever the drs say, don't have blind trust in them. They are human and they don't know everything.

    Best of luck in your TTC journeys.
     
  10. co_fostermom

    co_fostermom Mom to 2 Angel Babies

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    Thanks sweetkat. What did you do that helped you conceive and not miscarry? Do you have any uterine anomalies or was the issue on DH's side?
     

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