Got my IVF consultation out of the way... on the road to a bubba so why do I feel sad

[noelle1979]

Hi Ladies

I need to let out my feelings. Our Gp referred us for IVF in December 2010, really fast referral due to my DH's low morphology and slightly lower than average count. I have only waited since the end of Jan for my first consultation and then starting injections next month - with all of this progress you would think I would be happy?!! Yet, all I want to do is cry, I was excited at first but now so sad and KNOW I have to get my head in the right place... I am always being told 'thoughts are powerful'. I just wanted to see if anyone else feels this way. ICSI is our IVF process, I just don't understand why I feel like this... people keep saying... 'it is progress' but I cannot shake this and I have a constant headache.

Can anyone help that has been through an IVF process and let me know how to get out of this headspace? xxx

 

[seoj]

I'm sorry hun... I know how frustrating all this can be at times. I know it's not the same thing, but I was honestly SO happy at first when I started the whole IUI process, then after the first IUI I was just not happy! I didn't really understand why- but all I wanted to do was cry for like 2 days after! Maybe it just all kinda hit me at once? And it's possible that is what's going on with you.

Right now though, I feel good. It was like I accepted our situation and was able to get to that positive place I'd really rather be. I'm sure you'll get there too hun.

It's OK to be sad... your going through a lot. So don't think you have to be happy happy joy joy all the time! You'll have moments for sure, but that's fine.

I wish there was some magic pill to take away any doubt or frustration we have while TTC... but hey, if they could make that pill then I'd prefer one that got us prego NOW!

Wishing you ALL the very best of luck hun... this too shall pass, and when you do get that wonderful BFP all will be well worth it.

FXd for ya!!!!

 

[Wallie]

I think that once you've been told you need assistance it upsets you because that's what it is, you need assistance, you can't do this naturally on your own, well probably not. It's hurtful to know that you've lost that, it should be natural not forced. It's scary too that you will hopefully have that child you long for. That's scary to me too...

It probably is moving fast for you. It's been quick but honestly the waiting is the hardest part, the going through the IVF treatment to me has been a breeze, it's just all the damn waiting, waiting, waiting... you're quite lucky in a way...

 

[crystal443]

We were told in late November we'd need IVF and were booked for January...I ended up cancelling and will be going ahead in March or April...I was so excited at first and then I started to feel angry and frustrated and everything else under the sun. I'm unexplained and I think my frustration comes from everything being "normal" and yet we have to go to these lengths to get pregnant.

I am sooo glad we waited a few cycles because I've had time to deal with things and had I gone ahead in January I'm not sure I would have had a successful cycle. My Dad passed after a long battle with illness and there was so much stress here so I'm glad I waited.

I wanted to look forward to IVF because we will be making a baby and I can't think of anything happier, my mind is in the right place now and I am looking forward to it. Good Luck and your not alone with IVF blues

 

[MiBebe]

I cried till I couldn't cry anymore when I was talked to about IUI. I cried again when I was told we would move on to IVF. This is no joke and all these meds are probably messing up my body. I haven't started IVF yet but it'll start probably march and the insemination in April. Lots of time for me to at least think about my bambino. It'll be worth it in the end.

 

[crystal443]

I cried till I couldn't cry anymore when I was talked to about IUI. I cried again when I was told we would move on to IVF. This is no joke and all these meds are probably messing up my body. I haven't started IVF yet but it'll start probably march and the insemination in April. Lots of time for me to at least think about my bambino. It'll be worth it in the end.

It'll definatly be worth it in the end Cannot wait for the end of this journey and the beginning of my pregnant journey to begin

 

[noelle1979]

Thanks so much for your reassurance- I am usually such a positive person but feel upset and lost! Booked in for Thai massages and reflexology- always feel so much better and like you, determined to be happy that I have see options. I know we will all have babies, and when we get them we will appreciate them so much more. Big love to all of you xxx

 

[Deb111]

Hi hun

Our only option is ICSI and we don't even know if that will be an option yet. Yes, it's progress in our journeys and we're to have the option these days with medical advances, but it is also a grieving process. Grieving for how it should be. I have often said to my hubby, getting pregnant should be enjoyable not about injections, procedures, hospitals, possibly thousands of pounds and so much medical info and terminology that you could write you own text book!

People keep telling me it will all be 'ok' and of course, if we have a baby, it will have been worth it, but it will never be 'ok' that we have had to go through so much hell to get there. Life is not fair!

Having said that, us TTC women seem to have huge amounts of strength. We get knocked down and yet from somewhere, we find the strength to pick ourselves up and get on with getting over the next hurdle and you will too.

I wish you lots of luck on your journey xx

 

[JaniceT]

Because it is one of the most taxing and stressful process you'll go through. I found it screws with my head and my body. Pregnancy pains was nothing compared to the psychological and physical demands of the ICSI process. So of you feel sad and feel the need to cry it out, just do it. You have every right to let it out, trust me no one will judge you for that.

 

[fairydust]

Noelle1979 I hope you're feeling a bit more cheery now My mood fluctuates so much its unreal...i didnt even get a lump in my throat when i was first told id need ICSI and then a week later i randomly sobbed my heart out...sending lots of hugs to you xx

 

[crystal443]

Noelle1979 I hope you're feeling a bit more cheery now My mood fluctuates so much its unreal...i didnt even get a lump in my throat when i was first told id need ICSI and then a week later i randomly sobbed my heart out...sending lots of hugs to you xx

I was totally fine with needing IVF when the FS told us and when we left her office we were excited about it and a week or two later I got so angry about it, so glad we took a few months to digest everything and for me to accept this was the only way I feel so much better now and am actually looking forward to it now, it does mess with our heads..its a very long draining process for sure

 

[noelle1979]

Hey fellow AC sisters!

I feel MUCH better, actually more positive. The Zita West visualisation CD arrived so going to start on that once I start my injections... you guys are brilliant, we all know how it feels. Just think how much more we will appreciate our babies when we have them. Hope you ladies are ok and surviving the rollercoaster xxx

 

[Wallie]

Oh Noelle, glad you're feeling more positive. Btw I got that CD but it made me more stressed so after talking to my acupuncturist I stopped, so don't feel pressure having to do it all the time, take a break if you need too.