Have u or do u spank your child? Non judgmental thread

[Pinkie88]

Just curious. I never thought I would but I gave my daughter a swat on the bum for trying to give her sister teething medicine. I feel like the worst mom in the world.

 

[beth_terri]

I always said never. But then I had a child lol. Ive only lightly taped him on the bum a couple of times when he has been really really naughty just as a shock so he new that he really was being bad. But its certainly not something Id do all the time and never to hurt. We have a naughty step and that mostly does the trick.
x

 

[andersondyson]

yes!!!!! not very often but if they have done something dangerous I firmly believe in a firm spank on the bottom........for example:

you have explained road safety to your 4yaer old child.....you are waling down the street and child makes a run for the road......

a short sharp shock will do no harm!!!!!

And as you have said.......giving medicine is SO wrong.....they need to see a clear consequence!!! Dont feel guilty.....you are just doing your job as a mum xxxx

 

[mom and ttc]

i think spanking is child abuse!!! there is no way i would ever lay a hand on my daughter! she goes in time out, and is upset about it. there are other methods. i raise my kid with love, do not understand how parents say they love their kids and hit them!! and my daughter is really well behaved!

 

[mom and ttc]

yes!!!!! not very often but if they have done something dangerous I firmly believe in a firm spank on the bottom........for example:

you have explained road safety to your 4yaer old child.....you are waling down the street and child makes a run for the road......

a short sharp shock will do no harm!!!!!

And as you have said.......giving medicine is SO wrong.....they need to see a clear consequence!!! Dont feel guilty.....you are just doing your job as a mum xxxx

that is child abuse

 

[Pinkie88]

yes!!!!! not very often but if they have done something dangerous I firmly believe in a firm spank on the bottom........for example:

you have explained road safety to your 4yaer old child.....you are waling down the street and child makes a run for the road......

a short sharp shock will do no harm!!!!!

And as you have said.......giving medicine is SO wrong.....they need to see a clear consequence!!! Dont feel guilty.....you are just doing your job as a mum xxxx

that is child abuse

Wow. Quite harsh.

 

[overcomer79]

LOL to the OP...you honestly expected this to stay decent?

spanking my 2 year old only enforces behavior I don't want him to do!! He then turns around and slaps us and kicks us because he sees if he is upset, then he may hit!!

He HATES being sent to his room!!! We send him to his room...he calms down then we have a chat. Works well for us.

 

[Pinkie88]

I am asking a simple question. Have you or have you not? And saying I feel like the worst mom in the world because I made a mistake and I feel terrible. Doesn't need to get out of hand here.

 

[lauraemily17]

I was spanked a few times as a child when I had been very naughty & I grew up a very happy child & have no lasting effects of being apparently 'abused'.

 

[Pinkie88]

I love my girls more than anything and I feel like I've ruined my three year old forever by spanking her today. As an adult and reacting that way, I just don't even know how i did that. Poor girl. I don't even know how to make it up to her.

 

[NannyWhitney]

yes!!!!! not very often but if they have done something dangerous I firmly believe in a firm spank on the bottom........for example:

you have explained road safety to your 4yaer old child.....you are waling down the street and child makes a run for the road......

a short sharp shock will do no harm!!!!!

And as you have said.......giving medicine is SO wrong.....they need to see a clear consequence!!! Dont feel guilty.....you are just doing your job as a mum xxxx

that is child abuse

I really don't think it is child abuse. Do I think it is effective punishment? Absolutely not. I am considered a child care expert (with a degree in child development) and all research points towards spanking as in ineffective means of discipline. When a child does something seriously wrong, I use a much sterner voice than I normally would to reprimand them, and take away a privilege. The kids I nanny for, and have practically raised, have never been spanked, but are disciplined for their behavior, and because I started discipline young, are very well behaved.

I think IF parents feel they MUST spank, they should do so in a calm, non aggressive manner. Also, they should talk about the action that warranted the spanking in terms the child will understand, and the consequence of the action.

Personally, I like using consequences that will relate more directly to situations the child will be in later in life. I take away privileges, such as getting a special treat, watching a television show, or having to stop playing to be in a time out.

I would not call it child abuse though. I think that's unfair to the people that actually went through abuse.

 

[overcomer79]

I am just saying because you KNOW there is always that one...but yes I did once and won't again because it encourages him to be abusive to us! I have a knee that needs operated on after the birth of this child and don't need him kicking it!!

 

[mojobear]

i think spanking is child abuse!!! there is no way i would ever lay a hand on my daughter! she goes in time out, and is upset about it. there are other methods. i raise my kid with love, do not understand how parents say they love their kids and hit them!! and my daughter is really well behaved!

The clue was in the title " None judgmental thread" ...........

How incredibly rude to insinuate that the above mothers do not love their children and call them child abusers. Please think about what you are saying!!!

 

[andersondyson]

i think spanking is child abuse!!! there is no way i would ever lay a hand on my daughter! she goes in time out, and is upset about it. there are other methods. i raise my kid with love, do not understand how parents say they love their kids and hit them!! and my daughter is really well behaved!

Im jumping straight on the defensive here but are you trying to say that I dont love my child because I very occasionally tap their bottoms????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I thik people are entitled to their own opinions but you should not ever judge other peoples parenting techniques........


I LOVE MY CHILDREN SO MUCH AND WOULD NEVER EVER ABUSE THEM SO PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Charliemarina]

never and i wouldnt ever, my mum hit me up-till i was 14 and i hated her for that i never respected her only feared her, we now rarely speak, she is a nice woman i just dont have a bond with her, i dont ever want my kids to fear me or lose them as adults theres so many other ways to discipline apart from smacking there just harder, but i dont judge a mum for spanking (to an extent) i just choose not to for my own reasons x

 

[mom and ttc]

I was spanked a few times as a child when I had been very naughty & I grew up a very happy child & have no lasting effects of being apparently 'abused'.

i was and it ruined my relationship to my dad!

explaining why it is wrong or teaching them good behavior is way better.
i here moms spanking their kids and telling them we don't hit (when they hit siblings or another kid on the playground)

my daughter for expample is thought to walk to the car and hold it, simple way... we make it a game and i dont have to worry about running into traffic

 

[Pinkie88]

sad issues here. Im trying to figure out how I got so angry as to react the way i did. I definitely had a hard childhood. Maybe I need counseling and parenting classes.

 

[mom and ttc]

i think spanking is child abuse!!! there is no way i would ever lay a hand on my daughter! she goes in time out, and is upset about it. there are other methods. i raise my kid with love, do not understand how parents say they love their kids and hit them!! and my daughter is really well behaved!

The clue was in the title " None judgmental thread" ...........

How incredibly rude to insinuate that the above mothers do not love their children and call them child abusers. Please think about what you are saying!!!

i think it is abuse, hitting your kids, please how much worse can it get??

 

[wantingagirl]

wow child abuse jeesh..... every is entitled to their own opinion but thats what it is no need to make someone feel like they are abusing their child I was spanked as a child and I would like to say hard and I grew up well behaved, naughty step, warnings, punishment, praising didnt work for me. Diff things work for different people but lets not cause this a fight thread. OP just wanting advice.

I wouldnt spank my child but like I said diff things work for different children x

 

[NannyWhitney]

I love my girls more than anything and I feel like I've ruined my three year old forever by spanking her today. As an adult and reacting that way, I just don't even know how i did that. Poor girl. I don't even know how to make it up to her.

If you are concerned about it, and did not mean to do it, you should sit her down and talk to her about it. Explain to her that even mommies and daddies lose their temper sometimes and get upset, and what she did today really upset you. Tell her that while it was wrong for her to try to give her sibling medicine, it was also not okay for you to hit her.

Try to make an agreement with yourself that you will use a different method of discipline next time, and don't beat yourself up so much. You sound like an excellent parent, and everyone has crazy days.