Have u or do u spank your child? Non judgmental thread

[Vigreybrance]

I don't agree that what you've done is abuse, if so we were probably all abused as children. I'm fortunate that my daughter hates being told off and that alone is enough for her, when she was going through the terrible twos/threes we used the naughty step which also worked. I don't thinking smacking is necessary and I don't think it sends the right message but I don't think you should beat yourself up over it either. What's done is done and the fact you feel bad about it means you probably won't do it again.

 

[Pinkie88]

I respect all opinions and advice. I know in my heart that if discipline hurts it is wrong. I just want to teach but not ever scare or hurt my children. My dad used to scare the hell out of me .

 

[overcomer79]

I don't think that is the case hun. I think you reacted in fear...and that is what we have to learn to control

 

[MotherofPearl]

yes!!!!! not very often but if they have done something dangerous I firmly believe in a firm spank on the bottom........for example:

you have explained road safety to your 4yaer old child.....you are waling down the street and child makes a run for the road......

a short sharp shock will do no harm!!!!!

And as you have said.......giving medicine is SO wrong.....they need to see a clear consequence!!! Dont feel guilty.....you are just doing your job as a mum xxxx

that is child abuse

No. It's not. And to say that a swat on the bum is abuse trivializes actual abuse. Per Merriam-Webster...

Definition of ABUSE

1: a corrupt practice or custom
2: improper or excessive use or treatment : misuse <drug abuse>
3: obsolete: a deceitful act : deception
4: language that condemns or vilifies usually unjustly, intemperately, and angrily
5: physical maltreatment

We should all be here to support each other, not throw accusations around. If you don't agree, that's fine. Accusing another parent of abuse based on this example is irresponsible.

 

[beth_terri]

i think spanking is child abuse!!! there is no way i would ever lay a hand on my daughter! she goes in time out, and is upset about it. there are other methods. i raise my kid with love, do not understand how parents say they love their kids and hit them!! and my daughter is really well behaved!

The clue was in the title " None judgmental thread" ...........

How incredibly rude to insinuate that the above mothers do not love their children and call them child abusers. Please think about what you are saying!!!

i think it is abuse, hitting your kids, please how much worse can it get??

But I think you have some exaggerated view of a tap on the bum. The way you speak is like were talking about punching a child.

 

[wantingagirl]

sad issues here. Im trying to figure out how I got so angry as to react the way i did. I definitely had a hard childhood. Maybe I need counseling and parenting classes.

no you dont....

 

[Tigerlilyb]

I was spanked a few times as a child when I had been very naughty & I grew up a very happy child & have no lasting effects of being apparently 'abused'.

I'm with you here. My Mum never lashed out at me in anger, she was always so level headed and calm, so I knew that having a smacked bottom was a HUGE deal and I'd obviously been very bad. It was usually a threat but because I actually did get spanked sometimes, I knew it wasn't an empty one. I was never actually hurt, just shocked and upset, which worked.

I grew up incredibly well behaved compared to most of my peers, I completely loathe violence and I adore the hell out of my Mum. I'm certainly not damaged because of a tapped bottom.

 

[overcomer79]

that's what is wrong with kids today...parents can't tap their kids on the bottoms for fear of people like YOU calling CPS!!! My husband gets worked up over this...not becAUSE HE HURTS OUR SON..but because he fears something will happen with people like you!!!

My son was in a middle of a tantrum and accidentally scratched him below the eye while trying to comfort him (yes, I WAS there!!!) and he freaked out because of people like you (directed at mom and ttc just in case the quote didn't post)

 

[andersondyson]

Im going to leave this thread after this because I have always felt free to give my opinions in this forum without being judged and this thread has deeply upset me!!!!

I certainly dO NOT nor WILL EVER abuse my children, I am a teacher and definatley do not believe that violence is in any way acceptable towards children.

My eldest child is 5years old and I have smacked her on the bottom only, a handful of times.

Sometimes talking doesnt always work (most of the time it does) but sometimes I feel they need a shock......I never do it hard, it never leaves a mark, but it just puts things into perspective and makes them think about their actions.......especially if the action has been a dangerous one!

Children will NOT be traumatised from a handful of smacked bottoms, they would be traumatised from being punched in the face, kicked in the stomach, starved etc etc.....ABUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am NOT an abusive parent, and I am deeply shocked by the response of some narrow minded people on this tread........

seriously wondeing if it worth even having a baby and bump account........really upset by this, HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT I ABUSE MY CHILDREN??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 

[mom and ttc]

i am not accusing, that is my opinion which i am entitled too, and no if there is a mom on here who is proud of spanking her child then i can say my opinion.
yes in case of the OP it might have been an accident because of being scared.

i was hit, my head was beat on the floor and body dragged... and it starte with a spank. ... you are so much stronger. i call it abuse. because in my eyes it is. where do you cut the line, in my opinion before you raise your hand!

 

[Pinkie88]

I think this thread has actually been really helpful to me. It sounds like most mothers here do not resort to spanking and I really need to work on my temper. I normally don't spank but if she is being very naughty, I definitely have a hard time not raising my voice and it's a personal goal for me to stop doing that. I don't like yelling or scaring anyone. I guess I have to work on it. My mom yelled at us kids all the time.

 

[Pinkie88]

I understand all of your opinions. Im sorry this has caused trouble for some of you. I needed advice. I don't know who else to ask. Of course I talked to husband about it but he hasn't ever raised children before either. This is our first time dealing with a 3 year old. Hopefully I will learn more and gain more self control by the time my secod daughter is three. Point is, I constantly want to improve my parenting skills.

 

[jenmcn1]

Yes, only in extreme cases. I know there are A LOT of people out there that are totally against it.
I think it's an individual decision. Each to their own.

 

[beth_terri]

i am not accusing, that is my opinion which i am entitled too, and no if there is a mom on here who is proud of spanking her child then i can say my opinion.
yes in case of the OP it might have been an accident because of being scared.

i was hit, my head was beat on the floor and body dragged... and it starte with a spank. ... you are so much stronger. i call it abuse. because in my eyes it is. where do you cut the line, in my opinion before you raise your hand!

But no sane person would do that!

 

[wantingagirl]

Im going to leave this thread after this because I have always felt free to give my opinions in this forum without being judged and this thread has deeply upset me!!!!

I certainly dO NOT nor WILL EVER abuse my children, I am a teacher and definatley do not believe that violence is in any way acceptable towards children.

My eldest child is 5years old and I have smacked her on the bottom only, a handful of times.

Sometimes talking doesnt always work (most of the time it does) but sometimes I feel they need a shock......I never do it hard, it never leaves a mark, but it just puts things into perspective and makes them think about their actions.......especially if the action has been a dangerous one!

Children will NOT be traumatised from a handful of smacked bottoms, they would be traumatised from being punched in the face, kicked in the stomach, starved etc etc.....ABUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am NOT an abusive parent, and I am deeply shocked by the response of some narrow minded people on this tread........

seriously wondeing if it worth even having a baby and bump account........really upset by this, HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT I ABUSE MY CHILDREN??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 

[andersondyson]

Thank you to you other mums, I can see there is some nice supportive and understanding people out there. Thank you for that xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Tink84]

Smacking a child with 'reasonable force' is not child abuse!!!

And by reasonable force I mean not leave a mark etc - that is how it is defined in the UK as smacking is illegal.

As a child I received a smack or two and it never did me any wrong. Nor did I grow up thinking that if I was angry etc it was acceptable to hit or lash out!! It's about teaching your child right and wrong and smacking your child is not saying it's right to hit etc.

You are not a bad mum nor do you need counselling eith.

And for the record I work with kids who are abused and believe me for their sakes I wish it was just the odd smack now and then but sadly it ain't

 

[MrsButterfly]

I think there is a big scale here. A tap is one thing and I can understand it. I was hit a lot as a child and was scared stupid of my parents and it definitely affected my relationship with them. Because of my experience I don't want to even lightly spank my child. But I don't judge parents that do. It's very different to walloping them which I would have an issue with. X

 

[Pinkie88]

Thank you to you other mums, I can see there is some nice supportive and understanding people out there. Thank you for that xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I am not judging anyone. I hope I haven't upset you or anyone! We all try our best and love our children

 

[kissesandhugs]

i am not accusing, that is my opinion which i am entitled too, and no if there is a mom on here who is proud of spanking her child then i can say my opinion.
yes in case of the OP it might have been an accident because of being scared.

i was hit, my head was beat on the floor and body dragged... and it starte with a spank. ... you are so much stronger. i call it abuse. because in my eyes it is. where do you cut the line, in my opinion before you raise your hand!

I would say that's a bit different than a tap on the bottom! It's fine if it's your opinion that spanking is abuse but don't go quoting others and saying THAT'S ABUSE!!! Bc you're stating it like it's a fact, NOT your opinion!!