'Having a baby IS a job'

[suzib76]

No it's not a job.

I seriously detest hearing mums who don't work list all they do in the day and how it's a job. I'm like yeah, you do the washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning etc etc - I do all that AND pop in a 40/50 hour week for goodness sake. Do these people think that mums who work have self cleaning houses? Washing that does itself?

And I'm not judging anyone here,mi don't care if people work or not, it makes no difference to me, just don't try and act the martyr over

ETA I am mum every day whether at work or not

TBH, it just doesn't work like this. You can't just assume its so much easier for 'them' because you work 40/50 hours a week. Everyone has their struggles and quite possibly for some it actually CAN be much easier to work at an office than take care of an entire house all day long. Think about how clean the house is when no one is there all day vs a kid or kids running around ALL DAY. And vice versa, for some cleaning up after their "super clean toddler" may be easier than working at an office!


This is the exact reason I say its equally hard or easy for everyone, in their own way... no one knows the struggles another deals with so yoy can't ever say your situation is worse or better, easier or harder than anyone's

I never said anything about it being easier for anyone

 

[suzib76]

My house was spotless when I worked full time because there was no kids trashing it all day long 😂 I left a tidy house and came home to a tidy house. Not sure why it would bother you. Doesn't bother me when working mums go on about their days at work.

It doesn't bother me when anyone talks about their day. What I meant was when stay at home mums try to list all they did as if working mums don't have all that to do as well.

Even then it doesn't actually bother me, I only said it in this thread because it's about that. I don't go round being all bothered about it all day long, like I said I don't care what people do, just don't act all hard done by either way

 

[LoraLoo]

Detests a pretty strong word if you're not really bothered.
At the end of the day, all mums generally put in around a 16 hour day (or more) regardless of if that's at home, work or both. Some get paid, some don't, it's as simple as that. Your 40/50 work hours is simply spent elsewhere. It's not an additional 40/50 hours to sahm.

 

[Pearls18]

Detests a pretty strong word if you're not really bothered.
At the end of the day, all mums generally put in around a 16 hour day (or more) regardless of if that's at home, work or both. Some get paid, some don't, it's as simple as that.

And dads, my husband certainly does anyway, I don't see him arguing with other men about who's life is the hardest (not talking about you or anyone else here, just makes me smile when I think of the tizzy we can sometimes get ourselves into with parenting debates, men must think we're crazy lol)

 

[Rainbow82]

It's absolutely not a job it's a choice and TBH although I appreciate my DS is only 3 months so I'm sure it will get harder but so far being at home with him all day and looking after the house is a doddle compared to teaching a 7 lesson day plus form time plus lunch and break duty, after school meetings etc. I'd love to be a SAHM but we can't afford it and I will have to return to work full time in February. I will still be a full time mum with all the same washing, ironing and cleaning to do, I'll still be on call when my child is at daycare if he gets sick or hurt I'll just be doing it on top of the 50 hours a week i put in at school.

Some people may find being put at work easier but for me personally it's the opposite. I guess the grass is always greener though.

 

[LoraLoo]

Detests a pretty strong word if you're not really bothered.
At the end of the day, all mums generally put in around a 16 hour day (or more) regardless of if that's at home, work or both. Some get paid, some don't, it's as simple as that.

And dads, my husband certainly does anyway, I don't see him arguing with other men about who's life is the hardest (not talking about you or anyone else here, just makes me smile when I think of the tizzy we can sometimes get ourselves into with parenting debates, men must think we're crazy lol)

Oh absolutely. My hubby's a great help around the house and I still don't seem to have enough hours in the day, I take my hats off to the mums (and dads) doing it solo

 

[suzib76]

Detests a pretty strong word if you're not really bothered.
At the end of the day, all mums generally put in around a 16 hour day (or more) regardless of if that's at home, work or both. Some get paid, some don't, it's as simple as that.

Ok wrong word but I don't like it. In fact wrong explanation completely as I don't think you are seeing what I meant to say. i agree with what you say here. It just irks me sometimes to hear a sahm say they did all that stuff in the day because working mums do all that stuff in the day AND work too

But i don't mean that I think either option is right or wrong. I flit between working and staying at home all the time myself because I can't make my mind up between the 2 lol

 

[JessyG]

If nothing else at least we all seem to be in agreement that it is not a job :thumbsup:

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I wouldn't say it was a 'job' as such, having said this I do think it can be very hard. I honestly take my hat off to stay at home mums x

 

[mummy2_1]

I would love to be a stay at home mum but honestly think I would personally go insane not having my job. I love my work. And I'm good at it. I love coming home to my baby boy. Making our home nice for him and my oh. I found a balance between relatively enough hours and comfortable wage so we all balance well. My oh would love for his wage to satisfy our lifestyle enough for me to stay at home with full attention on our son. But unfortunately thats not do able. And like u said I love my job and need it for the only socialising I really get to do. Lol.

 

[CaptainMummy]

I am a single mum of three, not working and having to rely on benefits as I absolutely could not afford childcare if I were to go back to work.
Looking after my girls is not my job. I dont have a job. It is just my life. They are a part of me and looking after them is the same as loojing after myself. It just has to be done. Of course, I am a full time mum, but so are working mums. Once we have a baby, we are always going to be a full time mum, regardless of how many hours in the day we see our kids.

 

[froggyfrog]

No it's not a job.

I seriously detest hearing mums who don't work list all they do in the day and how it's a job. I'm like yeah, you do the washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning etc etc - I do all that AND pop in a 40/50 hour week for goodness sake. Do these people think that mums who work have self cleaning houses? Washing that does itself?

And I'm not judging anyone here,mi don't care if people work or not, it makes no difference to me, just don't try and act the martyr over

ETA I am mum every day whether at work or not

I don't think it's right to belittle what a sahm does.

 

[JessyG]

^I don't think she was. Simply that working mums have to fit in all that household stuff somewhere too.

I managed to get done the same amount of cleaning in 1 hour the other evening as I did in the whole day I was off work. All I am saying with is my house doesn't go to rack and ruin simply because I work 4 days a week.

 

[suzib76]

No it's not a job.

I seriously detest hearing mums who don't work list all they do in the day and how it's a job. I'm like yeah, you do the washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning etc etc - I do all that AND pop in a 40/50 hour week for goodness sake. Do these people think that mums who work have self cleaning houses? Washing that does itself?

And I'm not judging anyone here,mi don't care if people work or not, it makes no difference to me, just don't try and act the martyr over

ETA I am mum every day whether at work or not

I don't think it's right to belittle what a sahm does.

I totally wasn't

 

[Larkspur]

And I'll add that some people make the choice to stay home because in this world we live in, you can't trust anyone but yourself to insure your child's safety. So it's not always a choice made for funsies.

I don't think the world and all the people in it are quite that dreadful, are they?

I'm not sure how many people choose to stay home purely for "funsies" but surely very few stay home purely because it's too great a risk to have their child in the care of anyone else?

 

[froggyfrog]

And I'll add that some people make the choice to stay home because in this world we live in, you can't trust anyone but yourself to insure your child's safety. So it's not always a choice made for funsies.

I don't think the world and all the people in it are quite that dreadful, is it?

I'm not sure how many people choose to stay home purely for "funsies" but surely very few stay home purely because it's too great a risk to have their child in the care of anyone else?

Well I'm one of those few. I watch the news and hear too many stories of kids being abused and molested by daycare workers and nannies to trust anyone else to have my kids all day every day. Bad things happened to me as a kid, and other people I know because someone who wasn't my parent neglected to care for me properly

 

[catty]

It's certainly not a job. I have been at home for 2 years now (I work 5-8pm) I see myself as a SAHM as I'm with them from wake-up until 4.30 the only thing I don't do is dinner and bedtime.
I watched a youtube video about the hardest job ever and it was saying how it was a 24/7 job, not paid, have to stand all day can't eat etc which to me is very untrue.

however I do say some days it's hard work and it is. I do ALOT during the day though including cleaning several times which I wouldn't have to do if I was at work as the mess wouldn't have been created, and other things that wouldn't need to be done if I was out all day including dishes etc so I do find it unfair the people saying they do everything plus a 40 hour week as if it's the life of luxury. Both are hard at times.... Today I lay in bed for an hour bliss!!! However people that think I do that everyday are very much mistaken

 

[LoraLoo]

And I'll add that some people make the choice to stay home because in this world we live in, you can't trust anyone but yourself to insure your child's safety. So it's not always a choice made for funsies.

I don't think the world and all the people in it are quite that dreadful, are they?

I'm not sure how many people choose to stay home purely for "funsies" but surely very few stay home purely because it's too great a risk to have their child in the care of anyone else?

I guess my issues aren't a common one. My job involved sleep overs. After losing Eve in her sleep, there was no way I could have gone on to leave any of my subsequent babies for any period of time let alone over night, even with DH.
Im probably a really extreme and rare example but for me it's absolutey an issue.

 

[Larkspur]

And I'll add that some people make the choice to stay home because in this world we live in, you can't trust anyone but yourself to insure your child's safety. So it's not always a choice made for funsies.

I don't think the world and all the people in it are quite that dreadful, is it?

I'm not sure how many people choose to stay home purely for "funsies" but surely very few stay home purely because it's too great a risk to have their child in the care of anyone else?

Well I'm one of those few. I watch the news and hear too many stories of kids being abused and molested by daycare workers and nannies to trust anyone else to have my kids all day every day. Bad things happened to me as a kid, and other people I know because someone who wasn't my parent neglected to care for me properly

I'm very sorry to hear that happened to you and it is understandable that you have issues with trusting others to care for your child. But there are many wonderful, trustworthy caregivers out there. Some of them, frankly, care for children better than the children's parents do.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Not all SAHM stay at home literally all day lol x