'Having a baby IS a job'

[loeylo]

In that respect I could call used a "full time dog owner" if I wanted? Which I am, obviously, but it isn't my job, is it?

Given that you can leave your dog at home alone for several hours every day while you go and do whatever you like, I'm not sure it's a fair comparison!

You don't know my dog haha! 25kg of fur and energy. We have to have childcare for our dog (I kid you not - he has nearly died twice from eating inappropriate things, he trod a whole bottle of instant tan trough the whole rented house including the sofa, he smashed a window once and he fused a socket by peeing on it.) he is a rescue so not bad training on our part but he can't be left for any more than 5 minutes or all hell breaks loose!

 

[tallybee]

I don't think it matters tbh? However you describe it having a baby is hard work but it's what we choose and we get on with it. A baby takes over your life but things settle down and we are still our own individuals as well. Not just defined by mumhood. Neither am I defined by any other single thing that I do, be that work or study or otherwise.

 

[BabyMamma93]

another thing that does get my back up, when people say 'oh shes only having a baby for the money' i mean yeah some parents do get extra money, for example i get child tax credits and child benefit, that doesnt mean i have extra money, babies/kids are expensive so i spent my tax credit, child benefit plus some of my wage on M and what do i have left over? enough money to pay bills, no money for weekends out or a social life like people seem to think!!

 

[tallybee]

another thing that does get my back up, when people say 'oh shes only having a baby for the money' i mean yeah some parents do get extra money, for example i get child tax credits and child benefit, that doesnt mean i have extra money, babies/kids are expensive so i spent my tax credit, child benefit plus some of my wage on M and what do i have left over? enough money to pay bills, no money for weekends out or a social life like people seem to think!!

Yeah that's crazy tbh. The extra money you'd get from TCs etc goes towards stuff for LO, as in you still need to top it up from other income - it doesn't actually give you more for yourself lol x

 

[BabyMamma93]

exactly, that and one i hear alot 'shes only having a baby so she can get a council house' HA yeah thats a joke!! like the council care if you have a baby or not, they still wont rush for you

 

[babyrough]

I agree with most of the others, it's not a job it's just life. I don't have a problem with people saying there a full time mum - unless they are using that as an excuse not to work.
And I don't mean sahm who have a partner to support them, and also i have no issue with people who are benefits for a while because of certain circumstances.
But when people say they 'cant' work because they are a full time mum, that annoys me.

 

[amytrisha]

A job is something that has a start time and a finishing time, you also get paid for it.

Being a mum is a privilege, it's a life long thing that never ends, you don't get paid - maybe in cuddles and kisses but not in cash.

You cannot quit being a mum..

In my opinion it's not a job!

 

[tallybee]

exactly, that and one i hear alot 'shes only having a baby so she can get a council house' HA yeah thats a joke!! like the council care if you have a baby or not, they still wont rush for you

I know! My experience of trying to get housed when I was pregnant and had a toddler, completely alone (fob had gone off to shag other people) tells me that it's a complete myth to think getting a council house is easy

 

[monkee12]

Nope its not a job.

 

[mummylove]

I dont find being a parent a job. I find doing the clean, washing etc a job lol. I would play with my kiddies all day and do anything for them

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

I don't say it's my job... but another point is that often I come across people who say "well you don't have a job what do u do all day...." and the reply is "well i'm a mum" so whilst it isn't a "job" some times its the easiest way to describe as such ... if anyone follows. Also i suppose it's to seperate myself from the genuinely unemployed. I don't want to say "i'm unemployed" when people ask, because whilst i am technically unemployed, it is through choice and I live off what my husband earns. The word unemployed draws out a certain negative opinion i find. So yes, technically not my job but if someone asks me "what do u do for a living" I just tell them i'm a mum at the moment, or I stay at home. This isn't ever supposed to suggest that mums who work are part time mums though, it's just easier haha.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I keep seeing this thread pop up in my CP and I have been thinking a lot about it. Mothers (and fathers) have a hard enough task ahead of us as it is. We have to guide our children , teach them, make them feel loved and secure and ensure that they can grow into functional members of society. As mothers we often question ourselves. Whether we work or are a SAHM we are still mums who have many of the same trials and tribulations and some that may vary. Why do so many of us feel the need to constantly anaylise each other? We should stand together as mothers and help and support each other. I have rambled sorry but I just thoughts but I just think we should support each other x

 

[lau86]

I keep seeing this thread pop up in my CP and I have been thinking a lot about it. Mothers (and fathers) have a hard enough task ahead of us as it is. We have to guide our children , teach them, make them feel loved and secure and ensure that they can grow into functional members of society. As mothers we often question ourselves. Whether we work or are a SAHM we are still mums who have many of the same trials and tribulations and some that may vary. Why do so many of us feel the need to constantly anaylise each other? We should stand together as mothers and help and support each other. I have rambled sorry but I just thoughts but I just think we should support each other x

I thought that too as it often leads back to the same old SAHM and working mum stuff

 

[Larkspur]

Working by the criteria that if you do it at home, nobody pays you to do it, and there are no set hours then it's not a job, I guess being an artist or author are "lifestyle choices" and not jobs either.

 

[smileyfaces]

No being a mum isnt a job. Its a responsibility. Whether you work or not you still have children to care for and feed. Working part time/ full time just means you have more to do as you still have the same amount of housework to do, the same number of mouths to feed and the same amount of bills to pay but with the added pressure of working X-amount of hours per week.

I dont have a problem with SAHM's at all. I think its great if you are in a privileged enough position to be able to stay at home and nurture your children and watch them grow. Unfortunately that isnt an option for the majority.

Childcare is a real issue, I wouldn't be able to work if it wasn't for Tax Credits Childcare Element!

 

[Tasha]

See it works the other way too, some people can't afford to work because childcare is so expensive, some of those would love to work and therefore it's a privilege the other way too!!

 

[Kirsty3051]

I work 8-5/6 as a live out nanny and take my son with me. When I get home, I don't consider the time I spend with him as work. Everybody's circumstances are different but for me, becoming a parent was a choice that I (we) made, not something we had to do - like getting a job to support ourselves.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

All of it is what you make it. I think kids spend so much time in school that I like to make the most of the holidays and age before school. Everyone manages different things that its nice to find a happy medium.

 

[smileyfaces]

See it works the other way too, some people can't afford to work because childcare is so expensive, some of those would love to work and therefore it's a privilege the other way too!!

But how do people afford to live without work?

My wage is LESS than what my childcare costs are, then tax credits fund some of my costs and then obviously I make up the rest with my wage. Unless you are earning mega money then childcare is always gonna be expensive.

 

[kealz]

I keep seeing this thread pop up in my CP and I have been thinking a lot about it. Mothers (and fathers) have a hard enough task ahead of us as it is. We have to guide our children , teach them, make them feel loved and secure and ensure that they can grow into functional members of society. As mothers we often question ourselves. Whether we work or are a SAHM we are still mums who have many of the same trials and tribulations and some that may vary. Why do so many of us feel the need to constantly anaylise each other? We should stand together as mothers and help and support each other. I have rambled sorry but I just thoughts but I just think we should support each other x

Agree with this too, just words and as long as they are not being used negatively against someone personally then it really doesn't matter what terminology people use as long we have the respect.