Heartbroken..but am I being stupid/selfish??

[jw1555]

So we have been trying to conceive for 2 years. On Monday my husbands brother told us that he and his gf of 5 months were expecting. I feel heartbroken, we always kind of thought that it would us having a baby first and us who gave the inlaws a first grandchild etc. my inlaws love my brother in laws new gf and since she arrived on the scene they barely acknowledge me and I can see this will only get worse, I feel that she has given them the one thing they really wanted. And of course the main pain I feel is that we have tried every month for 2 years since we got married and yet she cn just get pregnant by accident and it just feels so unfair. When they left after telling us I spent the whole evening in tears. It was Hubby's birthday as well so that was ruined! I know i should be happy for them as they have a precious baby and I hope in time that I will be but right now I just feel like I can't face them, I don't want to see or speak to them because the pain is too much. My inlaws want the whole family around on Sunday to celebrate and I really can't go. I know if I do it will be so hard and I don't want to put myself through that. At the same time I don't want to upset them or ruin anyone's joy by not going. I feel so torn and every time I think of them having a baby I can't stop crying

 

[Mrs_T]

Do they know you've been TTC? Maybe now is the time you should share that with them - the support would be nice and they sound lovely so I'm sure they'd be a bit more sensitive towards your feelings if they knew.

Also, never mind not being the first grandchild, when you do have your own, yours will be the special one cos it will be your (and their) little miracle after you waited so long for it to happen!

 

[jw1555]

Thank you. I think your right and that telling then would be the best thing to do. I think they have an idea that we have been ttc after all the doctors appointments we have both had etc but we haven't actually told them so I think I will. I wouldn't want them thinking that I was being deliberately nasty or avoiding them for any other reason so if I explain it to them I hope that they will understand x

 

[m.knight]

Tell them. It was when my sister announced she was pregnant, and I had been trying for 2 years at that point, that I told my family.