Help?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by Rach+Stu, Apr 22, 2009.

  1. Rach+Stu

    Rach+Stu Guest

    first of all hi everyone, and congrats to you all.

    here's my problem..

    me and my OH have been trying to conceive for about 7 months after he said he wanted to start a family.

    trouble is, i think he was getting a bit fed up of all the negative tests, and last week he said lets forget it for a while, and that he's not sure he wants children for a while cos he's just found a great job.

    well, ive just found out i'm 5 weeks pregnant.

    i dont know what to say to him, will he change his mind when he knows, or does he really not want kids anymore??

    help?
    :(

    xx
     
  2. Caramel

    Caramel Mummy to a cheeky monkey

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    Oh sweetheart, I'm sure if he was happy to try for seven months then he really did want you to fall pregnant. Perhaps he just needed a break because he was finding the negatives hard to deal with. I'm sure he'll be over the moon. As for the great new job, he can still take it, I doubt you being pregnant will have any major impact on his ability to do it.

    Congratulations honey :hugs:
     
  3. Rach+Stu

    Rach+Stu Guest

    wow i didnt expect people to reply so quickly on here lol..
    thanks, i hope he does feel that way..
    it'd break my heart if he actually has changed his mind.
    i think i'll speak ot him about it properly before i tell him, see how he really feels...
    :S

    wish me luck XD
    x
     
  4. MummyToAmberx

    MummyToAmberx Mum to 3 Girls 1 Boy

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    Hey.
    All i really have to say is, dont be surprized if he is in total shock, maybe isnt as forward and comforting towards you. Probably just be getting his head around it, could take weeks on end for a bloke to actually accept these things, while others are fine straight away.
    My OH was type of bloke where baby had be here for it to be real and for him to feel better etc.
    All the best :D
    And congrats!
     
  5. CharlieP

    CharlieP Mum to Charlie

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    Hi Rach...I think that when you tell him you will find that he is absolutely over the moon! Fella's have a way of protecting themselves against disappointment and I think this is his way. You are both obviously ready for children so I think all will be well!

    Good luck, welcome to BnB and I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy.

    xx
     
  6. Caramel

    Caramel Mummy to a cheeky monkey

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    It may be better to just tell him hun, rather than try to gauge how he's feeling first. If he genuinely has decided now's not the right time it won't make you feel any better hearing that from him. I'm sure if he's not feeling ready now, he'll feel differently once you tell him the news even it takes a bit to sink in. I really do think he'll be happy. Good luck hun :hug:
     
  7. shaunanicole

    shaunanicole Guest

    If you have been trying for the past 7 months he apparently want children. It can be embarrassing, hurtful, depressing, and hard for a man to deal with negative pregnancy tests. He may of felt like he was "letting you down", that his parts weren't working right, or that he wasn't doing his job and that is why he wanted to take a break. What matters now is you have a beautiful bean growing inside of you and it has formed because of the love you and your hubby have for one another. I think you should come out with it and tell him the news. Whatever his reaction is I am sure he will come around within time and be extremely excited. I wish you the best of luck hun and congrats on the pregnancy!
     
  8. Seraphim

    Seraphim Amazing Baby Girl

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    Tell him! It'll be the best news after 7 months :)
    Everyone else who's posted has said pretty much what I would.
    He's a man after all ;)
    I didn't tell hubby I was testing / got negatives. He didn't want to know anything about the trying, other than getting down to it ;)
    So I only told him when it was positive, should have seen his lil face ;D

    Good luck, have fun... all 3 of you!!!! :D

    And CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! :D
     
  9. Pregnancy-No1

    Pregnancy-No1 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah just tell him, like Caramal said dont beat around the bush - him saying his not ready or that you guys should wait a while before you try again or whatever isn't going to change the fact that your pregnant.... Im sure he will be over the moon, maybe he started thinking there is something wrong with his sperm and that is why you guys are taking so long to fall pregnant...
     
  10. Pregnancy-No1

    Pregnancy-No1 Well-Known Member

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    PS. let us know how OH reacted!!
     
  11. moomin_troll

    moomin_troll mummy to zane and corey

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    First congrats!
    Second how is a child going to effect him just finding a great job, i think him just finding a great job is perfect timing.
    Third you just just say im pregnant simple words and if hes not happy about it then say well i didnt see u put anything on the end of it i am pregnant we did want this.

    or he could be really happy about the news either way its best to just say it straight n deal with it when u no his reaction x
     
  12. JayDee

    JayDee Sunshine and rainbow

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    He's probably only said let's forget it for a while to take the pressure off you both a bit.

    I started to get worried about my job a couple of weeks ago, and we'd kind of decided it was good that I wasn't pregnant (I tested negative a couple of days before I was due on) and that we'd probably not try so much any more for a couple of months till we knew where we were financially. A week later I was 4 days late and got a positive test. After the shock had died down he was (we both were) mega happy, I'm sure your OH will be the same when you tell him.

    Just goes to show, it happens when you least expect it sometimes!

    Congratulations x
     
  13. miss charlie

    miss charlie 1st timester

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    I'm sure he'll be chuffed, he just wanted an end to the pressure of TTC and seeing you upset when you got those BFN's.

    We forget about how much pressure the guys are under while TTC.
     
  14. lindypops

    lindypops Lin, Si and Eve

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    I agree, he's probably worried about you feeling the pressure and not wanting you to feel constantly upset or disappointed.
     
  15. Rach+Stu

    Rach+Stu Guest


    i understand that, but its not him not doin his job right, its me lol. we have low fertility through our whole family, hence why im so desperate for him to want this.. :(
     
  16. Rach+Stu

    Rach+Stu Guest

    :) thanks to everyone so far for your support, i'm going to tell him tonight when he gets home from work.... hope it goes well..
    i'll keep you all posted
    xx
     
  17. TigerLady

    TigerLady CaveTiger Clan Mama

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    I also say, don't be surprised if he looks like this for a while: :huh:

    Some men are immediately over the moon and some aren't. It takes longer for it to sink in for some. We had been TTC for 6 months when I finally fell pg. I am almost 7 months now and it STILL hasn't fully sunk in for my OH. :dohh: He is the type to take longer to get attached... I am hoping for when he holds the baby! :rofl:

    That being said, I hope your OH is crazy happy!! But if not, don't take it too personally and give him some time!

    :hug:
     
  18. charlottesma

    charlottesma Mum to 2!

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    how did it go?
     
  19. Rach+Stu

    Rach+Stu Guest

    i told him 2 days ago



    and








    WE'RE HAVING A BABY TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

    :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:




    it took a while for him to get it, he sat there lookin at the floor gob wide open, then just went a bit hysterical XD

    but i'm so glad he still wants this :)

    thanks everyone for the help...
    i'll let you all know whats happening

    xx
     
  20. akgrown

    akgrown Proud Mom of 1!!

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    How exciting!! :yipee: Congratulations!!
     

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