Here's a loaded question **Bully or be bullied**

[Ozzieshunni]

Neither. I'm going to teach my son to be a confident young man. If he's bullied, he'll rise above and not bite. My only issue is if another child purposely hits him. I have no issues telling my son to whack him one back.

I'm sorry but there is absolutely no way you can possibly be sure of that?!

My mom managed to teach my brother and I not to be bullies or be bullied. If people were mean to us, she taught us ways to respond. So, yes, I can be sure that it can be done. I would not see my son act a little heathen and bully other children.

 

[louandivy]

I do not understand how you can teach someone to not be bullied. It is almost placing the blame on victims of bullying to suggest that it is actually within their control to stop it.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

ETA: louandivy, I don't see you picking apart anyone else's answers.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I do not understand how you can teach someone to not be bullied. It is almost placing the blame on victims of bullying to suggest that it is actually within their control to stop it.

Did I say that? Where in the world did I say that? Or are you assuming again?

 

[louandivy]

So? Yours stood out to me because I completely and utterly disagree with it and think its crazy that any parent can be so convinced that they can control whether their child gets bullied or not.

 

[louandivy]

You are saying with absolute certainty that your son won't be bullied, obviously you think there is something you are doing better than parents of bullied children?!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I said I will teach my son to be a confident young man. I did not say he wouldn't get bullied. I said I would teach him the proper ways to respond to bullies. You're putting words in my mouth now and I'm asking you to please stop.

 

[Jazzy-NICU]

I believe you can equip your children to not be victimised, like pp said, if someone hurts my son he will be taught to hurt them back!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I believe you can equip your children to not be victimised, like pp said, if someone hurts my son he will be taught to hurt them back!

This is what I mean.

 

[louandivy]

That won't always necessarily work though. What if your kid is small and not a fighter type? I really hope I never have to deal with it because I don't know how I would, but I like to think I will never teach Ivy that violence is the solution to any problem.

 

[Jazzy-NICU]

Lots of children carry on getting bullied because they are told by their parents not to hit back, tell a teacher, I'm sorry but that a waste of bloody time! I told my teachers plenty of times and they did sweet FA!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

If a child is hitting my son, who will have a pacemaker by the time he is in school, I would rather he defend himself than have serious complications because a child thought it was okay to hit him in the first place.

 

[Jazzy-NICU]

I'm not talking about hitting someone if they call you a name here I'm talking about your possible pre-teen/ teenager being physically assaulted, something that I will not stand for.

 

[louandivy]

How often does bullying result in serious physical assault though? I suppose I am just basing this on my experience at a very good all girl's school where the worst type of bullying involved having your name with 'slut' next to it written on the toilet doors

 

[Jazzy-NICU]

Did you not read my first post? I was held bown by teenage boys and had cigarettes stubbed out on me, I had my arm broken, if you've never experienced bullying you'll never understand.

 

[louandivy]

But I still think there is no way you can really control whether your child becomes a bully, things happen in life outside of the home that can affect so much. I know that bullies often come from bad homes but I don't think it is fair to always blame the parents because it just isn't that simple. I am not going to bore everyone with all the things that happened to me that could have contributed towards me being a bit of a bitchy queen bee in school but it certainly wasn't my mum's fault.

 

[louandivy]

No I didn't read your first post. Sorry that happened to you, I can understand why you feel that way but I think what you experienced isn't commonplace bullying and hopefully most of us here will never experience our children going through it!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Outside influences don't just contribute to how a person is. Children draw from all sorts of influences. If you instill good values at home, your child should emulate those in the real world. At least that's what happened with me. I do think it starts at home. Parents, after all, are the first teachers.

 

[kerrie24]

I dont want to be seen as ganging up on anyone but I think rather than how you were taught not to be bullied,it was sheer luck that you werent.

I dont suppose my mother thought ''I will teach my child to be a victim'' but I was bullied.

At high school especially,you can try to blend in but they pick on you for being clever/not so clever
fat/thin/tall/short/glasses/hair colour/name/shoes/bag/mobile phone etc etc etc.

I do appreciate in an ideal world we would be able to teach our children to ignore or rise above bullies,but it doesnt mean just cos they ignore it,its not happening.
Or making them absolutely miserable.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I was bullied by several girls. I never said I wasn't bullied. I just was taught not to let them get to me and to know that I was better than those that felt the need to put others down.