Here's a loaded question **Bully or be bullied**

[Ozzieshunni]

And that wasn't the question asked. I responded "neither." I know bullying happens. I'm really wondering where people are reading all these things I've said

 

[Dragonfly]

Neither. I'm going to teach my son to be a confident young man. If he's bullied, he'll rise above and not bite. My only issue is if another child purposely hits him. I have no issues telling my son to whack him one back.

I believe you can equip your children to not be victimised, like pp said, if someone hurts my son he will be taught to hurt them back!

You can only help a child grow as best as you can, set a good example and dont leave them open to it with your words to. There are ways to create a bully, many bullies have issues at home to. I was bullied, beaten up and hospilzed to. I was the quiet girl . Nothing was done about it and I had to move schools to escape the bullies. I cant choose any here. Neither. And not even if I wanted to choose. Without bullies we dont have victims, so there should be more targeted at helping them. Like Ozzie I would build my child up, make sure they came and spoke to me should they get bullied. Thats a good start.

 

[kerrie24]

In your post on page 3 you said your mom taught you and your brother to not be bullies or be bullied,and that it can be done.Thats is where I (wrongly) presumed you meant you hadnt been bullied.

I agree,we have now gone off topic onto how you would deal with bullies,which wasnt kittys intention by this post I dont think.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Nope. It wasn't my intent either.

 

[lozzy21]

Nether. If my child became a bully i would be mortified, i truly would. I would be devastated if they found causing some one emotional or physical pain fun and i would have failed as a parent.

I hope to raise my child to be confidant and to know their self worth and not allow people to get away with bullying them. Physically they will be told to never throw the first punch but to make sure they throw the last.

I was bullied at school, verbally not physically, i didnt let them get away with it, the said hurtfull things about me and i responded the same way, took the piss out of them back and won 95% of the time. On the out side i was confidant and took no shit. However being told i was fat and ugly every day for 5 years still hurt, still affected my self esteem despite me not showing it.

 

[KittyVentura]

Maybe this would be better in debates lol...

 

[Broodypants]

I have no doubt that every one of us on here would rather our children were neither bullied or bullies, but that wasn't the question. I don't understand why people are answering neither, the point of this was to make us all think if we had to pick one or the other what we'd pick.

As devastating as it would be I think I'd rather my children were bullies, I'd have some degree of control over that and at least i could get involved and try and sort it out.

 

[BabyJayne]

I think we would all answer neither - the point is if you had to choose...

 

[BabyJayne]

I have no doubt that every one of us on here would rather our children were neither bullied or bullies, but that wasn't the question. I don't understand why people are answering neither, the point of this was to make us all think if we had to pick one or the other what we'd pick.

As devastating as it would be I think I'd rather my children were bullies, I'd have some degree of control over that and at least i could get involved and try and sort it out.

Jinx!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I refuse to choose.

 

[Broodypants]

I refuse to choose.

Well if you don't want to answer the question what's the point of posting?

This is by no means having a moan at you, I just don't understand what the point of posting neither is, would it not make more sense to just not answer?

 

[KittyVentura]

I refuse to choose.

Fair enough, no-one is being FORCED to choose... However given that this thread was solely set up to challenge people to make that choice, to make us think and assess what we feel is appropriate, I struggle to see why you felt the need to reply??

Of course, public forum, everyone can post, blah blah blah... But it's a bit like someone saying "would you rather have a boy or a girl for your next baby?" and you replying "neither, I hate kids".

 

[BabyJayne]

I refuse to choose.

Then why respond to a thread specifically asking you to do that? I don't see the point

It's a hypothetical thread with hypothetical answers.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Well, I don't think either answer is ideal. I wouldn't choose anyways. And you're right, public forum.

 

[ttc_lolly]

pointless in posting neither when a specific question has been asked. Wouldn't it have been more appropriate to just not have posted in the first place!?

It is a really difficult question, and one I hope I'll never have to experience when either of my children are older... but I'm eering more towards voting for be the bully I don't know why, I think what some of the others have answered with having SOME control over tackling your child's behaviour, rather than not being able to control the actions of those other children that were bullying her. It would absolutely break my heart if Amber grew up to be a bully though. It would be soul destroying I think to see her being bullied, hurting emotionally/physically. It would drive me crazy x

 

[Ozzieshunni]

It's an interesting question, but why does it have to be so black and white?

 

[KittyVentura]

It's an interesting question, but why does it have to be so black and white?

It has to be so black and white, in this scenario, because that proves to be the most thought provoking way of asking this question.

Of COURSE no-one wants their child to be a bully or be bullied. Of course we will all aim to install the right beliefs in our children and enough self confidence so that they neither feel the need to put others down, or become a target for bullies. That's a complete given, nothing special, basic parenting which we will all aim to do.

Of course our parenting only goes so far, the nicest teen with the best background who had the most loving childhood and supportive parents could easily get in with the wrong crowd and be derailed entirely and take a different path to the one you we certain they were set on. The richest, most well dressed, prettiest, smartest girl brimming with kindness, ambition and self confidence could easily become the target of bullies... And trust me, over time severe bullying can wear even the strongest of characters down.

But that's not the point of this thread. The point of this is to ask which people would choose *IF ONE HAD TO HAPPEN* as the lesser of two evils. Because it is a very difficult question to have to answer and it gets the old cranial juices flowing on this cold Friday.

 

[mumtosam]

I have to say I think it is a bit of a silly question as I don't believe anyone would want to be either in all honesty! I am an infant school teacher and even the children who are bullies don't actually want to be bullies they just are because they don't know any better!

 

[KittyVentura]

What people want to be is irrelevant. No-one chooses to be bullied or to bully others (I doubt). It's saying which would you rather your CHILD, as an older child or teen, became IF THEY HAD TO BE ONE.

Silly or not, it's the question I chose to ask, for the reasons given above. Yes, it is completely pointless, but so are questions like "what would you buy if you won the lottery?", given that I doubt any of us will actually be in that situation. Sometimes it can just be interesting to know what people would do in a completely made up scenarios. For no other reason than just being damn interested (nosy)

 

[Jchihuahua]

I would obviously be devastated if mine were either, as we all would, but I would say I would rather they be bullied if I had to choose. If they were the bullies I would be heartbroken I had bought my children up to hurt other people but if they were bullied themselves then I would hopefully be able to do something to help, change schools, go to the police or something like that. I just can't bear the thought of my babies causing pain and hurt to other people's babies. I would want them to be better than that.