Hitting/spanking your kids..

[Sarah88]

Wow, this thread has gotten some responses... Now i'm torn between smacking and not smacking, there are so many good arguments for and against... I agree with whoever said that they will wait and see what their child is like first (sorry, can't remember who said it). That is not to say that i'm going to resort to smacking as the first response. I think that everything else should be tried first, including explaining to your child what they've done wrong.
If you've ever watched super nanny then she seems to get some responses with the children. Perhaps i'll just hire out all of her series and use them as my bible, lol.

 

[babymello]

My theory is you wouldn't hit them when they're bigger, why hit them when they're little? Because they can't hit you back? That's kind of like saying "I'm big, you're small, I'm right you're wrong!"
Our children are our future, howcome violence should be accepted in the solitude of our homes but should not be accepted publicly?

I agree that there is a difference between discipline and abuse, however there are also alternatives to 'disciplining' your child by smacking them.

It's not the matter of hitting them when there little, and when their big you won't hit them.

I know some grown folks who still get it from their parents lol. The parent don't even have to touch them, but there are some parents out there who still will knock there grown folk children out. They don't play that disrespectful mess.

It's about the respect and boundaries that an individual has toward their parents. It's a reverence thing! When they get out of line grown or little, it's like a disrespect if you will.

Mello

 

[Serene123]

If she's naughty I will give her a tap on the bum or the wrist. Wouldn't "HIT" her though.

 

[babymello]

Wow, this thread has gotten some responses... Now i'm torn between smacking and not smacking, there are so many good arguments for and against... I agree with whoever said that they will wait and see what their child is like first (sorry, can't remember who said it). That is not to say that i'm going to resort to smacking as the first response. I think that everything else should be tried first, including explaining to your child what they've done wrong.
If you've ever watched super nanny then she seems to get some responses with the children. Perhaps i'll just hire out all of her series and use them as my bible, lol.

Super Nanny, can't solve your problems and waiting to see how your child is first is not going to help anything.

Any negative result that your children do, is the result of you not properly taking responsibility of their actions. I blame the parents. It's just that simple.

Let's talk about that now.

Mello

 

[Sarah88]

Super Nanny, can't solve your problems and waiting to see how your child is first is not going to help anything.

Any result that your children do, is the result of you. I blame the parents. It's just that simple.

Let's talk about that now.

Mello

If you looked, I had a 'lol' at the end. I don't think that she is going to solve all my problems, but it was more that it would be good to see different disciplinary actions and how they work. And I believe that different methods work for different personality types, so by the time my child is old enough to need to be disciplinedthen i would have worked out what is best for her.

I'm not going to be set on smacking my kids or not smacking them before she's born because I don't know how I am going to react nor do I know what she has done now. I think different forms of disobedience calls for different forms of reprimand. If she just makes a small mess on the floor then i'm not going to smack her, I will ask her to pick it up and try a few different strategies before I smack her.

I have seen many good and bad examples of both methods. I've seen that asking some children to do things doesn't work and i've also seen that smacking them doesn't do it for some either. It depends on their personality.

All in all, i'm open to whatever works for me and my family; whilst still allowing our household to function well and have a close bond.

 

[mBLACK]

It's not the matter of hitting them when there little, and when their big you won't hit them.

I know some grown folks who still get it from their parents lol. The parent don't even have to touch them, but there are some parents out there who still will knock there grown folk children out. They don't play that disrespectful mess.

It's about the respect and boundaries that an individual has toward their parents. It's a reverence thing! When they get out of line grown or little, it's like a disrespect if you will.

Mello

Then why is it wrong for me to go out and smack somebody who does something wrong to me? I should be allowed to slap every individual who I believe is being disrespectful towards me and/or my beliefs, because all in all what some parents view as disrespectful and something that deserves a slap other parents don't. It's their decision as an individual to slap their child/ren, not that the child has any say in the matter, therefore it should be my decision to slap anybody I please who doesn't abide by my morals.
Look at the example I gave, how do you explain that?

 

[mBLACK]

And besides in all honesty I wouldn't DARE hit my child EVER, I could never bring myself to and still feel what I did was right.

 

[Serene123]

Each to their own. You can't judge someone for a method of disipline they choose. I could give you a million reasons why every form of disipline isn't nice in one way or another, but isn't that the point? If you're not taking it too far and stepping from a tap to abuse then it's your decision.

 

[mBLACK]

You might get away with it a few times, but there are records of your lateness and one day you will have to answer to your boss for your actions.

Tbh you will ALWAYS tell children over and over again, they are children! As Leeanne said, would you rather your child be afraid to talk openly to you for fear of getting punished or actually be able to speak with your child at his/her level no matter what it's about?
Children will be children.
I personally believe that no matter how much respect you pay towards somebody, it does NOT give them the right to EVER hit you, what you're implying is that because they should hold you in the highest respect it should give you the right to give them a slap or two every now and then?And I'm not talking about beating, I'm talking about slapping/smacking.

The way I see it is you and I were raised differently and have a different set of beliefs/values. You are never going to see it the way I do and I will never see it the way you do. We're just going to have to agree to disagree.

 

[mBLACK]

P.S Sorry if the comment above the one I last made offended any of you, I don't mean to be rude I'm just feeling mighty hormonal and hot and just done being pregnant now!

 

[babymello]

Then why is it wrong for me to go out and smack somebody who does something wrong to me? I should be allowed to slap every individual who I believe is being disrespectful towards me and/or my beliefs, because all in all what some parents view as disrespectful and something that deserves a slap other parents don't. It's their decision as an individual to slap their child/ren, not that the child has any say in the matter, therefore it should be my decision to slap anybody I please who doesn't abide by my morals.
Look at the example I gave, how do you explain that?

You just answered your own question. Decision of an individual.

Your making it seem like I'm saying it's ok, if the child or grown folk is being disrespectful to slap them.

I didn't say that. I'm about the discipline area, not about abuse.

I said: I know some grown folks who still get it from their parents lol. The parent don't even have to touch them, but there are some parents out there who still will knock there grown folk children out. They don't play that disrespectful mess.

It's about the respect and boundaries that an individual has toward their parents. It's a reverence thing! When they get out of line grown or little, it's like a disrespect if you will.

That's their decision not mine.

"Then why is it wrong for me to go out and smack somebody who does something wrong to me?"

Because it's wrong, and both of ya'll will be going to jail according to the system of the world.

Mello

 

[babymello]

And besides in all honesty I wouldn't DARE hit my child EVER, I could never bring myself to and still feel what I did was right.

If you choose not to hit your child, that's your preference.
Everyone will handle theirs in a manner accordingly.

After all, people are going to do what they want to do.

End results, how your children turn out, whether good or bad is based on the training/discipline "you" as the parent instilled in them.

Sometimes, friends will influence your children to do bad things too so don't forget that. Like I said "it all balls back down to you as the parent.

That's another topic/sermon.

Mello

 

[babymello]

Tbh you will ALWAYS tell children over and over again, they are children! As Leeanne said, would you rather your child be afraid to talk openly to you for fear of getting punished or actually be able to speak with your child at his/her level no matter what it's about?
Children will be children.
I personally believe that no matter how much respect you pay towards somebody, it does NOT give them the right to EVER hit you, what you're implying is that because they should hold you in the highest respect it should give you the right to give them a slap or two every now and then?And I'm not talking about beating, I'm talking about slapping/smacking.

The way I see it is you and I were raised differently and have a different set of beliefs/values. You are never going to see it the way I do and I will never see it the way you do. We're just going to have to agree to disagree.

That is why you must train them, they don't know any better. There's nothing wrong with telling them over and over. That's our job, as I've stated in my previous post.

MBlack, Do you think I'm not on the same page with you?

You keep stressing smacking/hitting. No where in my post, I stressed about hitting/smacking my child.

My main focus is discipline.

I understand fully what you've gone through in your past, and you're just making sure, you're not going to do that to your child. That's understandable.

Protecting your child from your past is a great thing.

Your parents iniquity won't pass through the blood line of your son, because you barred the burden of beating the life out of him. Therefore, he will not instill that mess in his children because it was barred by you.

So, protect yours my sister.

Mello

 

[babymello]

P.S Sorry if the comment above the one I last made offended any of you, I don't mean to be rude I'm just feeling mighty hormonal and hot and just done being pregnant now!

Understandable...

Mello

 

[oOKayOo]

All i can say is WOW...

Seriosly girls spanking your child is in NO Way abuse , do you relise what that word means? Its not hitting them its giving them a little spank on the bum ( hitting is a very strong word! ) this is only really done when they have done something VERY naughty.
Spankning wont be done every single time a child has done something wrong. Its for extreme cases when they have been really bad. Oh and my daughter has been in the situation where other kids have been naughty and she hasnt spanked them :-S She just says thats naughty please stop it. IF they dont she walks off...
I have seen alot of children do the same. it IS about discipline in no way do i agree to HITTING your child but giving them a tap on the hand or a smack/spank on the bum when they have been really naughty is not the worst thing in the world like some are portraying it ... ( smacking ISNT full on force for those that think this)

TBh its true where children have gone corrupt look back when we were kids , how much crap like this was happening all the time?? HARDLY EVER
Nanny police step in, kids have more rights then parents..
Its true.
Once that rule of * not smacking children* was put out the world has gone mad with stabbing, anger everything etc. Coincedence???

I supose its how you were brought up, but please girls smacking/spanking isnt hitting or abuse. Its a light tap on the bum or hand... Not somthing that makes kids fly to the next wall in pain

 

[Chellebelle]

Once that rule of * not smacking children* was put out the world has gone mad with stabbing, anger everything etc. Coincedence???

I must say, working in a centre where most of our clients are 16 year old offenders / ex-offenders / excluded pupils - I know that most of them were smacked (in the least) as a child if not all of them. So I disagree with stabbing etc. being a result of the rule of not smacking children being put into place... as all the children who I know who weren't smacked have turned out very well and obviously not all the children who were smacked are now thugs - but all the offenders that I know were either smacked or worse as a child.

I do agree however that it isn't abuse... some people smack their children still nowadays and in their eyes it is a harmless form of necessary discipline as it is all they know - some people do take it too far though when the smacking no longer is effective. However, more and more people are trying to raise their children without that form of discipline and with other methods which are much harder to put into practice but if it works that way then it is obviously doing a child more good than smacking them would.

xxx

 

[Blah11]

I've Also stated" The reason why they're so many corrupt kids and teens in this generation, is because there's no discipline in the households. Parents allow there children to do whatever they want and they're more like friends than a parent. Their children is running things in the home."

Mello

Ha, you say that like there's never been 'corrupt kids and teens' in past generations. There's ALWAYS been gangs and teens robbing etc etc they're just much more publicised these days b/c the media is changed. Don't delude yourself into thinking the world is much more of an awful place than it was 50 or 60 years ago.

 

[oOKayOo]

I must say, working in a centre where most of our clients are 16 year old offenders / ex-offenders / excluded pupils - I know that most of them were smacked (in the least) as a child if not all of them. So I disagree with stabbing etc. being a result of the rule of not smacking children being put into place... as all the children who I know who weren't smacked have turned out very well and obviously not all the children who were smacked are now thugs - but all the offenders that I know were either smacked or worse as a child.

I do agree however that it isn't abuse... some people smack their children still nowadays and in their eyes it is a harmless form of necessary discipline as it is all they know - some people do take it too far though when the smacking no longer is effective. However, more and more people are trying to raise their children without that form of discipline and with other methods which are much harder to put into practice but if it works that way then it is obviously doing a child more good than smacking them would.

xxx

Of course yea i see where your coming from , this is just my opioion based where i am living and what i have seen
Its different everywhere i suspose , i just got alittle offended when people class smacking/spanking hitting or abuse. It upset me as in no way would i do anything to harm my kids. I only do it as last resort and when she is extremly naughty ( she gets told 3 times to stop and if she doesnt a little smack on the bum and bedroom) but i just dont like to be classed as hitting my children when infact it is just a tap on to bum, I dont believe in full forse smacking and at every wrong thing they do.

I hope im making sense

 

[oOKayOo]

Ha, you say that like there's never been 'corrupt kids and teens' in past generations. There's ALWAYS been gangs and teens robbing etc etc they're just much more publicised these days b/c the media is changed. Don't delude yourself into thinking the world is much more of an awful place than it was 50 or 60 years ago.

Im afraid it is more of an awful place nowdays, you only have to speak to people that were around then and it was alot different to what today is

 

[Chellebelle]

I hope im making sense

Yes you are lol.