Holy Fuck!

[FJL]

Girls, I am in torture yet again...

Just got results of 2nd BETA back this morning and HcG is now at 60 (it was 15 on Monday) with prog very low. Nurse told me that she spoke with FS and he wants me to go back on crinone to see what happens. Even though I had the heaviest AF in history - I don't get it??? I asked the nurse what the hell is going on and she said that we just have to monitor with another BT on Monday. She said it could be an ectopic, she said its quite rare but sometimes the cells can start to divide then stop, then go on again. She said that the chance of me actually being pregnant and it lasting is very low but that Dr wants to give it the best chance he can so keeping up with crinone etc.

I'm so confused, I dont' know what to do. I POAS 10mins ago to see for myself and it was a BFN.

I just want a black or white result...this is torture.

Furthermore i'm stressing out that if I was in that very small percentile and it did go on to be a normal pregnancy...well, last weekend when AF came I drunk A LOT...i'm an ex smoker and also smoked for a few days...so I hope to God I haven't stuffed this up even more.

Now all I can do is wait...wait to get next BT results on Monday or Tuesday...if HcG keeps going up I have to wait and see if I make it to 7 weeks for a scan.

Definitely don't feel confident. I just want 1 of 2 things to happen. 1. for hcg to drop and I carry on with my op etc or 2. for things to go ahead and to be pregnant and have a healthy preg and healthy baby.

This sucks!

 

[miel]

oh darling... you will know on monday for sure what is going on ?

 

[FJL]

Miel - we will have more of an idea. If the levels are increasing then I have to just keep going with progesterone support and wait it out for another 2 weeks for a scan. If the levels are dropping then it is officially over and I can plan my op.

 

[NeyNey]

Oh honey....I'm like and all in one breath!
What you must be going through - URGH!
You got my # is you ever just need to chat...or I can just listen if you want to scream the house down.


I really do have my fingers crossed....

 

[miel]

me too ( finger cross ) let 's for right now think positive anything is possible still

 

[Suz]

Wishing you all the best...

 

[FJL]

Thanks girls xx

Just had phone appt with Dr...we discussed going private or public for the lap and he suggested I got public but as a private patient which means we'll only be out of pocket $300. Now, I can't get that done until the 12 September where as private I could get in straight away BUT he said that if this pregnancy lasts (feels weird, he kept refering to it as 'this pregnancy' as if i'm pregnant!) then we won't need it and if it doesn't then that we'll need the extra time to get rid of HcG.

Now...about the big ???? Am I or aren't I??? Basically he said that time will tell but anything is possible...that it is an indication that it probably will be a high risk pregnancy. He is a bit hard to understand being Asian and english isnt' his 1st language. I just cannot get my hopes up on this one (even though some part of me is so hopeful) because I cannot take another blow! If this isn't viable then I have no idea why i'm bloody well being put through this!

 

[NeyNey]

Oh honey.....all the luck in the world to you guys

 

[Mendy]

OMG, FJL!!!!!
I can imagine how you must be feeling!!!! It must be driving you crazy and I know Monday can't come soon enough!
Just want to wish you lots of luck with these new turn of events!

 

[loopylew]

soooo much good luck hun x

 

[Arcanegirl]

Im can imagine a bit the confusion and frustration you are going through. i hope it to be a good result.

 

[Millnsy]

OMG that is so stressful... I'm keeping everything crossed for you...

 

[Beckic]

OMG!!!!
sweetheart - I really hope this is it for you - crossing everything.

Bxx x x

 

[Sami]

Good luck Like everyone else i have my fingers crossed for you

 

[avistar]

thinking of you and I really hope that this is it!!!

 

[Coffee]

OMG. To say you must be going craaaazzzyyy is an understatement! It's going to be one hell of a long weekend for you.
Really will be thinking of you and keeping everything crossed and hoping for the best. You really deserve some good news. Good luck xxx

 

[maz]

OMG hun. I can't imagine what you must be going through. I really hope you get some wonderful news on Monday/Tuesday. I'll be thinking about you.

 

[CurlySue]

Deep breaths.

Hope is good news.

 

[LeaArr]

I have my fingers crossed for you.

 

[Helen]

Oh wow! Roller coaster doesn't really describe the ups and downs, does it? This must be such a tough time for you both. I wish you every luck in the world and hope that Monday brings a miracle.