Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[roc]

Take someone with you if you can! Get them to make notes for you. And say to yourself that you won't agree to changing your mind at that meeting but will go away and think about it, after looking back at the notes. That way you can't be pressured at that meeting. Have a phrase you can keep repeating, something like "thank you for that information, I will consider it carefully when making my decision". Just keep parroting that. Ask them to repeat or clarify anything you are unsure about or that they are being vaguely doom and gloomy about.

If they don't have ressusitation equipment then that is their problem not yours. If they think they need it then they should arrange to provide it - which shouldn't be tricky. My midwives had an oxygen canister and masks in the right size for baby and me.

And 9lb something isn't that big.


You can do it! I know what you mean about fighting, but you will be OK. All they can do is advise you, not tell you.

Thanks UB, i think i'll just have to prepare like you said, and keep my wits about me, i don't have anyone to come with me, as my dh will have to work, and i don't have any friends where i live.
I think i just need to keep positive, do my research, and try to not let it get to me!

 

[cupcake23]

roc, I think the fact that the consultant has put that on your notes is great. They are usually the most cautious, so he must really not be worried.

First off: both growth scans and fundal measurements are hugely unreliable. So take it with a pinch of salt to start with.

Problems due to size are very rare. And if something is a problem (shoulder dystocia is the one most often mentioned) then there are positions which can help widen the pelvis, like being on hands and knees which should be the first recourse whether at home or hospital before anything more 'medical' is done.

Any problem is likely to be spotted early, at which point if you need to be in hospital then you will get transferred. If you look at the front page a few of us home birth hopefuls have ended up in hospital and the babies and mothers have all been fine as far as I know. So that is always an option. But going home if everything turns out to be straightforward once you are in hospital isn't, so it is best to start at home and go from there.

You will be fine!

You could ask how your care would differ at hospital from home, so that you can find out what they think the advantages would be. They may well not be able to articulate them clearly, beyond a general sense of 'safeness' at hospital in their minds. And have a read up at the homebirth uk website.

Thanks Urbanbumpkin, the MW said to me last time about them not having resuscitation (sp?) stuff, which to me sounded odd, but i dunno, i have read up on the excellent HB website, and there are lots of big babies born at home, i just am feeling really vulnerable and like i'm being told off, or in trouble (which i hate!) and not not sure i can handle a fight...

I will definitely put it to them about how would care differ though, and see what they say, but the mw today already told me there'd be 2 of them at my next appointment, so i'll be outnumbered!

Hi, I've not replied on here for ages but I thought I would give you some advice...firstly it sound to me that the midwives are short staffed therefore they are trying to get you in hospital, not for your safety but to make it easier for themselves (If its a busy unit its common for midwives on delivery suite to care for more than one women).

The midwives that come to a home birth must be competent in all areas (midwives in hospital are also competent but they have back up!) They will have equipment for resuscitation (for you & baby) and like urbanbumkin said if there is shoulder dystocia the manoeuvres to birth a baby are the same as if you were in a hospital. There are always signs that labour/ birth maybe difficult (Slow progress, prolonged 2nd stage etc) So if your midwives have concern during your homebirth then they can transfer you but to scare you now is ridiculous, if anyone was going to have a problem with a home birth it would have been your consultant.

Be confident in your decision for a home birth, tell them that you are aware of the 'risks' (I personally dont see any, the majority of shoulder dystocis are in average weight babies) and that you are looking forward to your home birth.

 

[Celesse]

Rachel, I had my almost-home-birth in my very ickle 2 bedroom communal entrance flat, with 3 cats, OH, my mum, my dad, MIL, 2 midwives, 2 paramedics and an ambulance technician there at one point!

 

[cupcake23]

Rachel, if they can deliver a baby in a car then you will be fine

I gave birth in my bathroom!

 

[roc]

roc, I think the fact that the consultant has put that on your notes is great. They are usually the most cautious, so he must really not be worried.

First off: both growth scans and fundal measurements are hugely unreliable. So take it with a pinch of salt to start with.

Problems due to size are very rare. And if something is a problem (shoulder dystocia is the one most often mentioned) then there are positions which can help widen the pelvis, like being on hands and knees which should be the first recourse whether at home or hospital before anything more 'medical' is done.

Any problem is likely to be spotted early, at which point if you need to be in hospital then you will get transferred. If you look at the front page a few of us home birth hopefuls have ended up in hospital and the babies and mothers have all been fine as far as I know. So that is always an option. But going home if everything turns out to be straightforward once you are in hospital isn't, so it is best to start at home and go from there.

You will be fine!

You could ask how your care would differ at hospital from home, so that you can find out what they think the advantages would be. They may well not be able to articulate them clearly, beyond a general sense of 'safeness' at hospital in their minds. And have a read up at the homebirth uk website.

Thanks Urbanbumpkin, the MW said to me last time about them not having resuscitation (sp?) stuff, which to me sounded odd, but i dunno, i have read up on the excellent HB website, and there are lots of big babies born at home, i just am feeling really vulnerable and like i'm being told off, or in trouble (which i hate!) and not not sure i can handle a fight...

I will definitely put it to them about how would care differ though, and see what they say, but the mw today already told me there'd be 2 of them at my next appointment, so i'll be outnumbered!

Hi, I've not replied on here for ages but I thought I would give you some advice...firstly it sound to me that the midwives are short staffed therefore they are trying to get you in hospital, not for your safety but to make it easier for themselves (If its a busy unit its common for midwives on delivery suite to care for more than one women).

The midwives that come to a home birth must be competent in all areas (midwives in hospital are also competent but they have back up!) They will have equipment for resuscitation (for you & baby) and like urbanbumkin said if there is shoulder dystocia the manoeuvres to birth a baby are the same as if you were in a hospital. There are always signs that labour/ birth maybe difficult (Slow progress, prolonged 2nd stage etc) So if your midwives have concern during your homebirth then they can transfer you but to scare you now is ridiculous, if anyone was going to have a problem with a home birth it would have been your consultant.

Be confident in your decision for a home birth, tell them that you are aware of the 'risks' (I personally dont see any, the majority of shoulder dystocis are in average weight babies) and that you are looking forward to your home birth.

Thanks so much cupcake23, and the other ladies who have replied, it IS ridiculous that they're trying to scare me, and i think i may point his out to them at my next appointment!

I dunno what i'd do without this thread or bnb, and all the strong positive ladies on here to advise me!

One thing i keep thinking about though is, what if the MW i get for the homebirth is the one whos being mean! lol!

 

[Mervs Mum]

It 's tough Roc because no one wants a fight do they But if you weigh everything up, get the info (like you are) and do what you believe is best for you, it doesnt need to feel like a fight. After calm consideration, I refused induction twice and ended up being apologised to by the consultant who admitted she was wrong to have suggested it

 

[cupcake23]

lol, yes that would be a problem but they will just have to deal with it

 

[Celesse]

Roc,
Is the predicted weight for 40 weeks? When my bump was big one of the scare tactics they tried with me was "well if the bump is this big at x weeks, then if you go over the baby is going to be really really big!!" .... just to warn you.

 

[roc]

Roc,
Is the predicted weight for 40 weeks? When my bump was big one of the scare tactics they tried with me was "well if the bump is this big at x weeks, then if you go over the baby is going to be really really big!!" .... just to warn you.

Yes the prediction is for full term, and they have said that!

 

[gina8177]

I had a midwife appointment today. All is good health wise with me and the little guy. But they are having a hard time determining if he is breech or not and suspect that he is. He is definitely posterior. If they can't determine at my next visit for sure if he's breech, then they'll confirm.

I never really cared if he was breech because I knew that although I would loose my HB, I would still deliver vaginally. But my MW today seems to feel that although the risks CS and breech birth are similar, it's still better to have a CS. The idea of scheduling a CS really bums me out.

I know I still have some time for him to turn, but it still kinda bummed me out a little this morning.

 

[Dopeyjopey]

Roc,
Is the predicted weight for 40 weeks? When my bump was big one of the scare tactics they tried with me was "well if the bump is this big at x weeks, then if you go over the baby is going to be really really big!!" .... just to warn you.

Yes the prediction is for full term, and they have said that!

I agree with everything that has been said, especially that it sounds like the mws are stretched quite thinly. I really do think if there were any problems due to size your body would let you know. From my own experience this was definitely the case.. all of a sudden i wanted to transfer and i'm happy i did, i was at home for the majority of my labour and went to hospital at the right time. My mw has also told me if i'd been in hosp from the start i would have ended up having a cs because of the fetal distress. Be firm, make your preferences known and i'm sure it'll all go fine.

Sorry if any of that sounds negative, it's definitely not intended to be. At first i felt bad about how things went but since speaking to my mw i feel so happy about my home labour, even though i didn't get my hb! x

 

[carries]

Roc I cant really add anything more than has already been said other than I dont think a 9lb is that big (having had one at home myself!)

I have a very good friend who had a 10lb 10 baby first time after being told (following scan) that baby was 8lb and has just had her second baby a week 7lb 7 after being told she was 10lb!

Seriously, growth scans are a load of twaddle most of the time.

Stay strong, consider your options and in the end do what is best for you, not for the midwives!

 

[silver_penny]

I had a midwife appointment today. All is good health wise with me and the little guy. But they are having a hard time determining if he is breech or not and suspect that he is. He is definitely posterior. If they can't determine at my next visit for sure if he's breech, then they'll confirm.

I never really cared if he was breech because I knew that although I would loose my HB, I would still deliver vaginally. But my MW today seems to feel that although the risks CS and breech birth are similar, it's still better to have a CS. The idea of scheduling a CS really bums me out.

I know I still have some time for him to turn, but it still kinda bummed me out a little this morning.

I had my LO natural and he was breech. If you need anyone to hash out feeling/thoughts with, you can always ask!

 

[Mervs Mum]

That's good to know Silver Penny! Did you do a birth story? Maybe you could share with us?

 

[gina8177]

I had a midwife appointment today. All is good health wise with me and the little guy. But they are having a hard time determining if he is breech or not and suspect that he is. He is definitely posterior. If they can't determine at my next visit for sure if he's breech, then they'll confirm.

I never really cared if he was breech because I knew that although I would loose my HB, I would still deliver vaginally. But my MW today seems to feel that although the risks CS and breech birth are similar, it's still better to have a CS. The idea of scheduling a CS really bums me out.

I know I still have some time for him to turn, but it still kinda bummed me out a little this morning.

I had my LO natural and he was breech. If you need anyone to hash out feeling/thoughts with, you can always ask!

Thanks! Did you know that your LO was breech? We only briefly touched on CS vs natural but she mentioned that there is a greater chance of permanent damage when delivering breech naturally. At this point I don't know a lot about it, I need to research more. I would much rather deliver naturally or at least be given the opportunity to.

What was your experience like?

 

[urbanbumpkin]

I know I still have some time for him to turn, but it still kinda bummed me out a little this morning.

Your sig says you are 34 weeks? That is very early for worrying about breech positioning. Murdo didn't turn until 36/37 weeks, and my midwife said she wouldn't even consider worrying until then. He was persistantly breech until then.

However, being in a forward leaning or hands and knees position as often as possible can help turn them round, as can sitting on a birthing ball. If the baby has started to engage then getting into the 'polar bear' position can help - on hands and knees with your bum up and head down to allow the baby to move up out of your pelvis, and then hopefully turn.

But as you say, loads of time yet for turning. I'm sure it will just happen, I think the stat is that only 4% of babies are still breech at term.

I hope he flips for you soon!

 

[Mervs Mum]

gina I'm sure you know this but Sid was breech till 36 wks so Urban is right - its really very early days hun

 

[silver_penny]

I haven't done a birth story for him, but I would be more than happy to share my experience. My LO was actually an undiagnosed breech. He was in the Frank's breech position, which means both of his feet were next to his head. I labored at home until my mw did an internal (still kicking myself at this) and discovered that he was breech. I was in the transition phase, but she still made me transfer to the hospital. No blue lights, but in our own car. I would highly recommend not transporting during transition... it was hell I spent the whole car ride, moaning "Nooooo, nooooo" during the contractions. The car ride was about 30 minutes and by the time that they checked me at the hospital, I was fully dilated and my LO was at the +3 station. They had no option but to allow me my natural, vaginal birth. However, my mw didn't make it to the hospital in time for the birth, as she got LOST on the way to the hospital. They didn't "allow" my DH into the delivery room even though I asked for him to be there. The OB had her hand inside of me to "protect" my perineum, and made me tear near my clitoris (sorry if TMI). Then, to top it all off, even when I told them that I didn't want the pitocin drip, they gave it to me anyways without my consent My LO had no complications, and was the picture of health. He was a healthy 6lb 11oz and 19.75 inches. So, that being said, I would have a breech baby naturally again, but I honestly wouldn't go to the hospital if I had the choice.

I think a lot of the hype about breech birth being so dangerous is because many health professionals are not trained in how to deal with a natural breech birth. There are multiple birthing positions that aide in a safe delivery. They also have to make sure there is full dilation before pushing (usually achieved by waiting 1hr after the urge to push is present). Hth!

 

[Celesse]

Hope LO gets turning for you Gina. It must be a really tough decision to make.

 

[nightkd]

That sounds awful Silver Penny...I think I would literally have murdered a few people there and then!!!! I'm soooo pleased with my MW so far - she did a check of 'down there' at my appointment today as I've been very swollen and sore and she was just so respectful compared to the OBGYN I had at the beginning of my pregnancy....

She has predicted Bean's weight to be around 7lbs, which sounds good to me!

BTW, with a home/water birth (I'm sure a few people have asked this before) what did you really appreciate having there and what did you wish you'd had? And also for postpartum? I got some witch hazel today to use cooled in pads etc.....and we got a little fish net for the pool ...We have the pool itself! (Huzzah!) And a floating thermometer....Urm....so those are the basics, right? Anything I'm forgetting?

xx