Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[LuckyD]

I am in Auckland, and I'm renting too at the moment, it's my dads house. I haven't actually told him I'm having a homebirth yet, not quite sure what he's going to think of that!
I'm not hugely prepared either, I've just been looking into things this week. I just feel that in next to no time, my due date will be here and I need to be prepared now. It's xmas, then my daughters b'day, my OH's b'day, friends b'days, my b'day and my sister's b'day then due date!!

Ha ha, we are renting my brother's house! And I also haven't mentioned I am planning a home birth....although he was a home birth himself and is probably assuming I am going to do the same.

I know what you mean - suddenly the year feels like it is speeding up, Christmas is so soon! And we are doing this ridiculous thing of moving and doing up and old house onto some land we have - real good timing! Things feel super busy!



I was just wanting to ask you all your thoughts - as a home birth I will have 2 midwives attending - that's the way my midwife group works. I am also going to have my OH and my Mum present. My midwife has said that she will have a student with her and that she would like her to come along as well - although she has made it very clear it is my choice.

First off, I want to say I am very supportive of midwives, I think they do an amazing job, and I really want to support a student. I am just not sure that I want even more people present at the birth...it is already feeling like quite a few and I don't want it to be a circus. Maybe if this wasn't my first baby I wouldn't care so much - I guess I just dont' have a huge idea of what to expect yet.

Do you think it matters? When I am in the middle of labour, will I even care if there are one or one hundred people in the room?

 

[pinkie77]

Eeeek, I've just taken a peek at the list on the front page and there's not many in front of me now!!

Ley, sorry to hear that hun Hoping there's a compromise available to you

LuckyD, it's impossible to say I think, everyone's different. Can you say the student m/w can come on the condition that she goes if you're uncomfortable with too many people?

My m/w said we'll talk about my homebirth at my next appointment (next week) so hopefully that will go ok. I've not had any problems so far so I'm hoping it's just a formality! Oh and the best news is that they don't come out beforehand, I was a bit worried about that as it's going to be christmas and probably total chaos in my house Probably a stupid thing to worry about but never mind!

 

[lozzy21]

Hi every one.

My midwife is doing my next appointment at home so she will be doing the risk assesment and my birthplan in 3 weeks and then delivering the birthpack after 36 weeks.

Only issue iv got now is that im measuring big so have to go for a growth scan in the morning.

 

[LuckyD]

LuckyD, it's impossible to say I think, everyone's different. Can you say the student m/w can come on the condition that she goes if you're uncomfortable with too many people?

My m/w said we'll talk about my homebirth at my next appointment (next week) so hopefully that will go ok. I've not had any problems so far so I'm hoping it's just a formality! Oh and the best news is that they don't come out beforehand, I was a bit worried about that as it's going to be christmas and probably total chaos in my house Probably a stupid thing to worry about but never mind!

You're right, it is probably impossible to know right now - have to think about it a bit longer. I might discuss it with my midwife - she might have a good compromise like the one you suggested! Thanks

Good luck for your appt next week! And I totally get that feeling about not wanting them to come around when the house is a mess - I know in my head that it really doesn't matter, but it still bothers me!

 

[Mervs Mum]

I was just wanting to ask you all your thoughts - as a home birth I will have 2 midwives attending - that's the way my midwife group works. I am also going to have my OH and my Mum present. My midwife has said that she will have a student with her and that she would like her to come along as well - although she has made it very clear it is my choice.

First off, I want to say I am very supportive of midwives, I think they do an amazing job, and I really want to support a student. I am just not sure that I want even more people present at the birth...it is already feeling like quite a few and I don't want it to be a circus. Maybe if this wasn't my first baby I wouldn't care so much - I guess I just dont' have a huge idea of what to expect yet.

Do you think it matters? When I am in the middle of labour, will I even care if there are one or one hundred people in the room?

i think it's totally a personal thing. Do you feel you have enough space physically in your home for one extra person? How about asking the MW if the student will be talking an active role of just observing. Perhaps you could as that either the 2nd MW or the student try to keep a low profile, depending on the student's role? I am all for students being involved and especially at home births. These women (and sometimes men!) are fresh blood in the service. They can shape an influence the way the service is for future mums. If they see birth in the home birth context and love what they see, they will be supportive of other women like us in the future. If you are happy I say let them in! You are a trailblazer and having them there could help change the way a new generation of MWs see things!

 

[LuckyD]

I was just wanting to ask you all your thoughts - as a home birth I will have 2 midwives attending - that's the way my midwife group works. I am also going to have my OH and my Mum present. My midwife has said that she will have a student with her and that she would like her to come along as well - although she has made it very clear it is my choice.

First off, I want to say I am very supportive of midwives, I think they do an amazing job, and I really want to support a student. I am just not sure that I want even more people present at the birth...it is already feeling like quite a few and I don't want it to be a circus. Maybe if this wasn't my first baby I wouldn't care so much - I guess I just dont' have a huge idea of what to expect yet.

Do you think it matters? When I am in the middle of labour, will I even care if there are one or one hundred people in the room?

i think it's totally a personal thing. Do you feel you have enough space physically in your home for one extra person? How about asking the MW if the student will be talking an active role of just observing. Perhaps you could as that either the 2nd MW or the student try to keep a low profile, depending on the student's role? I am all for students being involved and especially at home births. These women (and sometimes men!) are fresh blood in the service. They can shape an influence the way the service is for future mums. If they see birth in the home birth context and love what they see, they will be supportive of other women like us in the future. If you are happy I say let them in! You are a trailblazer and having them there could help change the way a new generation of MWs see things!

I totally agree! This is why I would want to have a student there, as also why I think my midwife would like them to be there - there isn't a huge percentage of women that choose to homebirth and if I can provide a positive experience/example then I would feel great about having some sort of influence. Our house is pretty small - there isn't really another room for them to go into (open kitchen/lounge) but I think I probably wont' care that much when it comes down to it all! If I get to meet the student beforehand then that will probably feel different - not like there is some stranger at my birth.

Thanks for your advice and thoughts - it's so lovely to have such positivity around homebirths. My family are supportive (as I said earlier, my Mum had homebirths), but so many people aren't or think you are being crazy or putting your baby at risk. Thanks for being such a great support!

 

[kiwimama]

Eeeek, I've just taken a peek at the list on the front page and there's not many in front of me now!!

Ley, sorry to hear that hun Hoping there's a compromise available to you

LuckyD, it's impossible to say I think, everyone's different. Can you say the student m/w can come on the condition that she goes if you're uncomfortable with too many people?

My m/w said we'll talk about my homebirth at my next appointment (next week) so hopefully that will go ok. I've not had any problems so far so I'm hoping it's just a formality! Oh and the best news is that they don't come out beforehand, I was a bit worried about that as it's going to be christmas and probably total chaos in my house Probably a stupid thing to worry about but never mind!

My daughter was due 7th January and I was soooo worried she'd be born on xmas day! Luckily she wasn't, but didn't hold on until her due date and came along on the 1st Jan! I think I did pretty well considering we weren't home until after 2am after celebrating new years (nothing wild of course, just a bbq) and when I got up at 8am contractions started.

Hi every one.

My midwife is doing my next appointment at home so she will be doing the risk assesment and my birthplan in 3 weeks and then delivering the birthpack after 36 weeks.

Only issue iv got now is that im measuring big so have to go for a growth scan in the morning.

It's not long for you now Lozzy - best wishes for your scan, I had to go for sooo many growth scans near the end and they kept saying she was small but she came out at an average weight, so I do wonder just how accurate these scans are.

 

[Mervs Mum]

It's not long for you now Lozzy - best wishes for your scan, I had to go for sooo many growth scans near the end and they kept saying she was small but she came out at an average weight, so I do wonder just how accurate these scans are.

I was scanned towards the end and blimey it was the only stressful part of the whole pregnancy and birth! Once I was on their radar they seemed to be gagging to induce me! Fortunately I didnt roll over and he came on his own accord AND didnt weigh as much as Hebe who they never scanned

All the best Lozzy! It's come round so fast!

 

[lozzy21]

Well it looks looks like my homebirth is going to be a no go. Baby is measuring big. Iv got to go back for another scan at 37 weeks. I know i could demand one anyway but with it being my first, i dont know how big a baby my body could handle.

But i will deffinatly be labouring at home for as long as i can cope with and baby no 2 will be a homebirth.

 

[summer rain]

Hi

sorry to hear that Lozzy but keep an open mind until the 37 weeks scan. I've measured very large in some of my pregnancies, small in others, and it always turned out to be the opposite that was true in the end. Babies can speed up growth dramatically at the end of pregnancy or slow down dramatically. Its never easy to tell. In this pregnancy I am measuring perfectly average with a good old tape measure and bubs was below average on the 20 weeks scan but you never know; with my second they actually thought he had a growth problem as on the scans he was measuring off the bottom of the scale in most regards; then towards the end they were guaging him to be 11 or 12lbs; he was 9lb 12 in the end which sounds huge but is average for both mine and dh's family and I had no real problems having him.

 

[madasa]

I am in Auckland, and I'm renting too at the moment, it's my dads house. I haven't actually told him I'm having a homebirth yet, not quite sure what he's going to think of that!
I'm not hugely prepared either, I've just been looking into things this week. I just feel that in next to no time, my due date will be here and I need to be prepared now. It's xmas, then my daughters b'day, my OH's b'day, friends b'days, my b'day and my sister's b'day then due date!!

Ha ha, we are renting my brother's house! And I also haven't mentioned I am planning a home birth....although he was a home birth himself and is probably assuming I am going to do the same.

I know what you mean - suddenly the year feels like it is speeding up, Christmas is so soon! And we are doing this ridiculous thing of moving and doing up and old house onto some land we have - real good timing! Things feel super busy!



I was just wanting to ask you all your thoughts - as a home birth I will have 2 midwives attending - that's the way my midwife group works. I am also going to have my OH and my Mum present. My midwife has said that she will have a student with her and that she would like her to come along as well - although she has made it very clear it is my choice.

First off, I want to say I am very supportive of midwives, I think they do an amazing job, and I really want to support a student. I am just not sure that I want even more people present at the birth...it is already feeling like quite a few and I don't want it to be a circus. Maybe if this wasn't my first baby I wouldn't care so much - I guess I just dont' have a huge idea of what to expect yet.

Do you think it matters? When I am in the middle of labour, will I even care if there are one or one hundred people in the room?

Most women are affected by how many people are in the room, especially if they do not know them well. It's a biological thing. If there's too many people around/stuff going on, your body slows labour down until you can get somewhere private and "safe" to give birth.

I really didn't mind about people being there. There were 2 MWs, my mum and my OH. I was so deep in Labourland and slightly woozy from puffing on G&A that I was barely aware of anyone in the room at all. Yet all of a sudden my urge to push TREBLED. My body just took over.... for a moment I was a bit nervous and the sudden intensity of it and looked round to the MW for reassurance.... but both had gone!! They were in the next room, having a drink... They had only just gone and I hadn't noticed them there or noticed them going, but SOME part of me did.

In that moment, I felt that my baby was going to be born RIGHT then, so I managed to gasp out "midwife!", thinking that one ought to be there as my baby emerged. It didn't hurt or anything, it was kind of like being sick... you know where your body just takes over and does what it has to and it's not something you can control? It was like that. Like being on the brink of a (sorry, TMI alert) earth shattering orgasm, but feeling a bit taken aback/nervous of the intensity. Well, then a midwife came back in the room and that urgent, irrepressible "sicking the baby out" feeling subsided quite a bit. DD was born shortly after, but I barely pushed.... my body did it all, and I strongly believe it did most of itin that short interval when both MWs left the room. MWs KNOW this trick.. if mum is "reluctant to push" they leave for a moment, or tell her to go to the bathroom and use the toilet. Once you are alone and feel "private" and "safe", your body goes for it. If I had another, I wouldn't shout "midwife"... I;d just surrender and ride the wave

Ina May Gaskin says about birth: "Let your monkey do it". In other words, surrender to your subconscious, your primal self. Truth is, even if YOU don't care who is in the room, your "monkey" probably will. And you know what? I think it's better and easier to keep your monkey happy. Michel O'Dent has done a lot of stuff about this, all very interesting and good for birthing women to know!

 

[madasa]

Well it looks looks like my homebirth is going to be a no go. Baby is measuring big. Iv got to go back for another scan at 37 weeks. I know i could demand one anyway but with it being my first, i dont know how big a baby my body could handle.

But i will deffinatly be labouring at home for as long as i can cope with and baby no 2 will be a homebirth.

Late growth scans are hardly ever accurate. If you don't have gestational diabetes, the size of your baby is fairly irrelevant. If anything, bigger babies often birth easier. I won't be having any late growth scans Next Time.... even though I know they are not reliable and big babies are not more dangerous, it's a deeply ingrained thing, and I would be concerned that I would carry my fear of a big baby into the L&D room.

Best of luck anyways, I'm sure it'll all go brilliantly... you are so well prepared now and that's a GOOD thing! You can still have an awesome experience wherever you are!

 

[LuckyD]

I am in Auckland, and I'm renting too at the moment, it's my dads house. I haven't actually told him I'm having a homebirth yet, not quite sure what he's going to think of that!
I'm not hugely prepared either, I've just been looking into things this week. I just feel that in next to no time, my due date will be here and I need to be prepared now. It's xmas, then my daughters b'day, my OH's b'day, friends b'days, my b'day and my sister's b'day then due date!!

Ha ha, we are renting my brother's house! And I also haven't mentioned I am planning a home birth....although he was a home birth himself and is probably assuming I am going to do the same.

I know what you mean - suddenly the year feels like it is speeding up, Christmas is so soon! And we are doing this ridiculous thing of moving and doing up and old house onto some land we have - real good timing! Things feel super busy!



I was just wanting to ask you all your thoughts - as a home birth I will have 2 midwives attending - that's the way my midwife group works. I am also going to have my OH and my Mum present. My midwife has said that she will have a student with her and that she would like her to come along as well - although she has made it very clear it is my choice.

First off, I want to say I am very supportive of midwives, I think they do an amazing job, and I really want to support a student. I am just not sure that I want even more people present at the birth...it is already feeling like quite a few and I don't want it to be a circus. Maybe if this wasn't my first baby I wouldn't care so much - I guess I just dont' have a huge idea of what to expect yet.

Do you think it matters? When I am in the middle of labour, will I even care if there are one or one hundred people in the room?

Most women are affected by how many people are in the room, especially if they do not know them well. It's a biological thing. If there's too many people around/stuff going on, your body slows labour down until you can get somewhere private and "safe" to give birth.

I really didn't mind about people being there. There were 2 MWs, my mum and my OH. I was so deep in Labourland and slightly woozy from puffing on G&A that I was barely aware of anyone in the room at all. Yet all of a sudden my urge to push TREBLED. My body just took over.... for a moment I was a bit nervous and the sudden intensity of it and looked round to the MW for reassurance.... but both had gone!! They were in the next room, having a drink... They had only just gone and I hadn't noticed them there or noticed them going, but SOME part of me did.

In that moment, I felt that my baby was going to be born RIGHT then, so I managed to gasp out "midwife!", thinking that one ought to be there as my baby emerged. It didn't hurt or anything, it was kind of like being sick... you know where your body just takes over and does what it has to and it's not something you can control? It was like that. Like being on the brink of a (sorry, TMI alert) earth shattering orgasm, but feeling a bit taken aback/nervous of the intensity. Well, then a midwife came back in the room and that urgent, irrepressible "sicking the baby out" feeling subsided quite a bit. DD was born shortly after, but I barely pushed.... my body did it all, and I strongly believe it did most of itin that short interval when both MWs left the room. MWs KNOW this trick.. if mum is "reluctant to push" they leave for a moment, or tell her to go to the bathroom and use the toilet. Once you are alone and feel "private" and "safe", your body goes for it. If I had another, I wouldn't shout "midwife"... I;d just surrender and ride the wave

Ina May Gaskin says about birth: "Let your monkey do it". In other words, surrender to your subconscious, your primal self. Truth is, even if YOU don't care who is in the room, your "monkey" probably will. And you know what? I think it's better and easier to keep your monkey happy. Michel O'Dent has done a lot of stuff about this, all very interesting and good for birthing women to know!

Thank you so much for this, and for sharing your experience - makes perfect sense to me. I like the 'let your monkey do it' (kind of reminds me of The Golden Compass ) - giving yourself up to that primal part of yourself.

Am off to look up Michel O'Dent!

 

[snagglepat]

I've replied to this on another thread but then spotted this so thought I'd reply here too. The growth scans can be notoriously unreliable. A previous doula client had all kinds of issues because she was very petite and the scans showed she was having a baby that was 9lb+. When she was born she was less than 6lb! I'm measuring big too but I've declined a growth scan because they are so unreliable. (It wouldn't be for a few more weeks anyway but I've told them I'm not going there.)

Have a look at the big baby section on www.homebirth.org.uk. There are lots of women who either have their big babies at home with no problems or are predicted big babies that end up being pretty average size. Don't give up on your dream unless you have definite evidence that there might be a problem. You've said that because you don't know how your body would handle a big baby you're going to hospital. Your body will birth much more effectively, relax more deeply and you'll find it easier to adopt positions that instinctively feel right at home - all things that will make it much more likely that you'll birth your (possibly big) baby with no problems.

Good luck with it!

Gina. x

 

[wtt :)]

Ina May Gaskin says about birth: "Let your monkey do it". In other words, surrender to your subconscious, your primal self. Truth is, even if YOU don't care who is in the room, your "monkey" probably will. And you know what? I think it's better and easier to keep your monkey happy. Michel O'Dent has done a lot of stuff about this, all very interesting and good for birthing women to know!

Have you read her book? Do you recommend it?

 

[madasa]

I've read Ina May Gaskin's Guide To Childbirth. She is amazing!! Haven't read any books by MO'D, but there's a lot of his articles and stuff online.

 

[pinkie77]

Can I ask at what point they start worrying about the baby's size? I'm measuring a week bigger atm (not much I know) and going on my past history I'm assuming this one will be around the 9lb mark easily. It's not something I'm worried about cos I'm certainly far from petite lol (5.8 tall and large build) but I'd like to be prepared if they start 'suggesting' things, especially if I go over again!

I'm assuming an awful lot lol, just have to wait and see if I'm right or if baby catches us out this time

 

[wtt :)]

I've read Ina May Gaskin's Guide To Childbirth. She is amazing!! Haven't read any books by MO'D, but there's a lot of his articles and stuff online.

ok i will look for the one you mentioned. and oops i though MO'D was a woman! thanks for the suggestion

 

[madasa]

It does look like a woman's name, I think he is French!

 

[madasa]

Can I ask at what point they start worrying about the baby's size? I'm measuring a week bigger atm (not much I know) and going on my past history I'm assuming this one will be around the 9lb mark easily. It's not something I'm worried about cos I'm certainly far from petite lol (5.8 tall and large build) but I'd like to be prepared if they start 'suggesting' things, especially if I go over again!

I'm assuming an awful lot lol, just have to wait and see if I'm right or if baby catches us out this time

When they measure your bump, they're looking for around 1cm per week. 3cms either way is ok, but deviate beyond that and they start sending you for growth scans and testing you for diabetes. The scans are not reliable tho, and you absolutely do not HAVE to have one if you don't want one