I am in Auckland, and I'm renting too at the moment, it's my dads house. I haven't actually told him I'm having a homebirth yet, not quite sure what he's going to think of that!
I'm not hugely prepared either, I've just been looking into things this week. I just feel that in next to no time, my due date will be here and I need to be prepared now. It's xmas, then my daughters b'day, my OH's b'day, friends b'days, my b'day and my sister's b'day then due date!!
Ha ha, we are renting my brother's house! And I also haven't mentioned I am planning a home birth....although he was a home birth himself and is probably assuming I am going to do the same.
I know what you mean - suddenly the year feels like it is speeding up, Christmas is so soon! And we are doing this ridiculous thing of moving and doing up and old house onto some land we have - real good timing! Things feel super busy!
I was just wanting to ask you all your thoughts - as a home birth I will have 2 midwives attending - that's the way my midwife group works. I am also going to have my OH and my Mum present. My midwife has said that she will have a student with her and that she would like her to come along as well - although she has made it very clear it is my choice.
First off, I want to say I am very supportive of midwives, I think they do an amazing job, and I really want to support a student. I am just not sure that I want even more people present at the birth...it is already feeling like quite a few and I don't want it to be a circus. Maybe if this wasn't my first baby I wouldn't care so much - I guess I just dont' have a huge idea of what to expect yet.
Do you think it matters? When I am in the middle of labour, will I even care if there are one or one hundred people in the room?
Most women are affected by how many people are in the room, especially if they do not know them well. It's a biological thing. If there's too many people around/stuff going on, your body slows labour down until you can get somewhere private and "safe" to give birth.
I really didn't mind about people being there. There were 2 MWs, my mum and my OH. I was so deep in Labourland and slightly woozy from puffing on G&A that I was barely aware of anyone in the room at all. Yet all of a sudden my urge to push TREBLED. My body just took over.... for a moment I was a bit nervous and the sudden intensity of it and looked round to the MW for reassurance.... but both had gone!! They were in the next room, having a drink... They had only just gone and I hadn't noticed them there or noticed them going, but SOME part of me did.
In that moment, I felt that my baby was going to be born RIGHT then, so I managed to gasp out "midwife!", thinking that one ought to be there as my baby emerged. It didn't hurt or anything, it was kind of like being sick... you know where your body just takes over and does what it has to and it's not something you can control? It was like that. Like being on the brink of a (sorry, TMI alert) earth shattering orgasm, but feeling a bit taken aback/nervous of the intensity. Well, then a midwife came back in the room and that urgent, irrepressible "sicking the baby out" feeling subsided quite a bit. DD was born shortly after, but I barely pushed.... my body did it all, and I strongly believe it did most of itin that short interval when both MWs left the room. MWs KNOW this trick.. if mum is "reluctant to push" they leave for a moment, or tell her to go to the bathroom and use the toilet. Once you are alone and feel "private" and "safe", your body goes for it. If I had another, I wouldn't shout "midwife"... I;d just surrender and ride the wave
Ina May Gaskin says about birth: "Let your monkey do it". In other words, surrender to your subconscious, your primal self. Truth is, even if YOU don't care who is in the room, your "monkey" probably will. And you know what? I think it's better and easier to keep your monkey happy. Michel O'Dent has done a lot of stuff about this, all very interesting and good for birthing women to know!
