Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[chuck]

ergh I see my OB tomorrow, I'm trying to stay positive but I have this feeling of dread that it'll be horrible and they'll tell me I cannot have a HB and use scare tactics.

MUST remember not to cry, not to rant about hospital and to calmly tell them they need to convince me that hospital would be better for me and baby when there's no need even for a VBAC.

 

[luna28]

Best wishes for a wonderful homebirth snagglepat

 

[Jenniflower]

ergh I see my OB tomorrow, I'm trying to stay positive but I have this feeling of dread that it'll be horrible and they'll tell me I cannot have a HB and use scare tactics.

MUST remember not to cry, not to rant about hospital and to calmly tell them they need to convince me that hospital would be better for me and baby when there's no need even for a VBAC.

Definitely! Remember they need to convince you, you don't need to convince them! I think you'll do great hun.

I have my midwife coming tomorrow to the flat to do an assessment. I've written out my letter letting her and the head midwifery that my homebirth date begins on week 37 NOT week 39 and I've typed out my birth plan. I'm just kinda scared that she's not going like to either. She does have newish midwife coming with her who wants to learn how to do homebirth assesments and such so maybe she'll be nicer since someone else is around. Also I'm really excited to meet this other midwife, she sounds like the homebirth advocate kind.

 

[chuck]

Any news from snugglepat? I'm all excited for her!

 

[Linzi]

good luck snugglepat!! Hope this is it for you!!

I think I'm nervous because my husband is a bit cynical about it, he's coming to this meeting with me on Sunday, he keeps asking me questions Im not quite sure how to answer. He's worried about stuff like if the cord gets stuck round baby's neck, or if it's born & needs resuscitating at home would it suffer brain damage through lack of oxygen... I keep assuring him that the same course of action would be there in hospital, as its the same medical professional delivering the baby at home, and if the baby didn't respond well the resus in hospital it would be the same outcome as at home... I dont know... he's focussed on something going wrong whereas Im worried about practicality, like we rent our house, Im worried about noise, blood etc.

Im sure we'll get there just a few wobbles. Im so used to him always saying that everything will be ok and being my rock, when he says things like that I think there must be a reason, he's very logical.

xx

 

[Zarababy1]

i need some advice on hypnobirthing! i have no idea where so start, what to read what to listen to, if i should go to classes ect!? also i need a birthing pool, Lisa sent me a link for one i wasnt sure weather to get the mini one or standerd? anyoneee? its all early days yet but its nice to plan ahead! i cant wait too hear what the MW says when i tell her im home birthing mwhahaha

 

[lozzy21]

Get the standard if you have the room for it, more room to move around in.


Linz they bring everything with them in case baby needs resusitating. Most babys if they do need help just need a few mins of oxygen and then there fine

 

[Mervs Mum]

If you are having a BPIAB the mini is the same size as a La Bassine which is only one size. I find them roomy enough but if you have space and want it then you can go up a size. When you are Hypnobirthing once you're in there you dont tend to move an awful lot and there's enough room to spread out! Plus your a short arse

You have a few options for Hypno - there's The Mongan Method which is 'Hypnobirthing' or Natal Hypnotherapy. Both really effective. The Marie Mongan is American so her accent is obviously American on the tracks. Natal is an English accent - I like both voices as they are that hypnotherapy tone no matter what the accent.

x

 

[Zarababy1]

i'll short arse you missy!!! im not planning on getting chris in it with me or going for a swim or anything so i imagen the mini should be ok! what do you think of classes ect do you think there worth it or what? or do i just buy the book/cd?

 

[Mervs Mum]

I got the book and the CD and that's what made me decide I wanted to do the classes. I really wanted someone to show me the breathing in person IYKWIM. Lots of people manage without but I was really glad I idid the course - it was good for engaging OH too.

 

[Zarababy1]

oh chris is usless maybe the class would be a good idea then he might not just sit and look at me like im a loonatic! think i'll check out the book and cd then book a place at the classes!

 

[caro103]

good luck snagglepat!

linzi i'm having wobbles at the moment too. Looking forward to seeing my midwife next week too as shes very pro home birth so hoping she'll eleviate some anxiety! No idea why i've suddenly gone all nervous, possibly cos i've just entered 3rd tri today so it all seems more real now xx

 

[Zarababy1]

If you are having a BPIAB the mini is the same size as a La Bassine which is only one size. I find them roomy enough but if you have space and want it then you can go up a size. When you are Hypnobirthing once you're in there you dont tend to move an awful lot and there's enough room to spread out! Plus your a short arse

You have a few options for Hypno - there's The Mongan Method which is 'Hypnobirthing' or Natal Hypnotherapy. Both really effective. The Marie Mongan is American so her accent is obviously American on the tracks. Natal is an English accent - I like both voices as they are that hypnotherapy tone no matter what the accent.

x

I've gone for the The Mongan Method, for now! i'll have a listen/ read see what i think! i like the american accent i hear it more than the english accent every day anyway! i've also emailed the hypnobirthing woman for northumberland, i know there was a girl around here who used someone with her first so i'll see if i can get in touch with her and see where that leads me!

 

[Mervs Mum]

I really like the American voice.

 

[PeanutBean]

I found a brief spell in hospital did wonders for my wobbles!

 

[LuckyD]

I didn't do Hypnobirthing, but I did Calmbirth which is very similar but based in NZ/Australia....and I am so glad I did the course rather than just listen to the CDs etc. It was great, really increased my confidence, and it was brilliant to do with with my OH - really made him feel part of the process and like he has a real role to play in the whole thing.

 

[Jenniflower]

If you are having a BPIAB the mini is the same size as a La Bassine which is only one size. I find them roomy enough but if you have space and want it then you can go up a size. When you are Hypnobirthing once you're in there you dont tend to move an awful lot and there's enough room to spread out! Plus your a short arse

You have a few options for Hypno - there's The Mongan Method which is 'Hypnobirthing' or Natal Hypnotherapy. Both really effective. The Marie Mongan is American so her accent is obviously American on the tracks. Natal is an English accent - I like both voices as they are that hypnotherapy tone no matter what the accent.

x

I've gone for the The Mongan Method, for now! i'll have a listen/ read see what i think! i like the american accent i hear it more than the english accent every day anyway! i've also emailed the hypnobirthing woman for northumberland, i know there was a girl around here who used someone with her first so i'll see if i can get in touch with her and see where that leads me!

Glad you may be going for the course. I know everyone is different but I really think if it's an option then you should definitely go for it. Especially as you say about your OH not exactly know what to do. The courses may have actually given my DH a but too much of an opinion now! But I suppose I'll take that over him freaking out not know what to do, haha.

I think I'm nervous because my husband is a bit cynical about it, he's coming to this meeting with me on Sunday, he keeps asking me questions Im not quite sure how to answer. He's worried about stuff like if the cord gets stuck round baby's neck, or if it's born & needs resuscitating at home would it suffer brain damage through lack of oxygen... I keep assuring him that the same course of action would be there in hospital, as its the same medical professional delivering the baby at home, and if the baby didn't respond well the resus in hospital it would be the same outcome as at home... I dont know... he's focussed on something going wrong whereas Im worried about practicality, like we rent our house, Im worried about noise, blood etc.

Im sure we'll get there just a few wobbles. Im so used to him always saying that everything will be ok and being my rock, when he says things like that I think there must be a reason, he's very logical.

I can totally relate. My DH (and now annoyingly my sister who may be there) are all about talking about things that may go wrong and what would happen if this... I finally explained to them that in places like Fraserburgh (Where DH grew up, a small town about an hour north of Aberdeen) they only have birthing centres. There are no other larger hospitals other than in Aberdeen. And that those birthing centre's are just as equipped to handle emergencies as my midwife would be at home. In those centre's you can have EMCS or Epis, they can't do any major surgery of any kind. They can Resuscitate the baby just like they would at home. And of there's anything wrong well then it's nearly an hours drive down south. As opposed to the 20-30 min drive we would have.

That seems to have shut them up... for the time being at least. hahaha

 

[moomin_troll]

I never did any anti natal classes when pregnant with Zane so I will defo do them this time, and also hypnobirthing classes.
I'm only 10 weeks and I'm in a panic about the birth. Going to start calling doulas when I've moved so I think it will be great having extra support seen as I have no idea who to have as a birthing partner.
My sisters a wimp and my mum thinks everyone should have a epidural lol

 

[chuck]

The antenatal classes I went to in my last pg were a joke.

We all turned up to the first class at 7pm at the hospital (there were 6 couples or thereabouts) only to sit there for half an hour and a MW come out of the BC and tell us sorry the class isnt on no one had thought to cover the lady on leave! Me and hubby had walked nearly 2 miles to get there, others had got cabs others had to pay to park and no sorry, no have a cuppa or drink just come back net week.

We went back next week to be greeted by someone who I'm sure is a great MW but REALLY needs training in how to present info to people.

She hadnt prepared and it was obvious, she had a hodge podge of OLD bits and pieces dragged from a cupboard and she complained she had no where to hang a poster from (unprepared!). She didnt bother introducing herself properly or giving us an outline of what is was we were there for nothing.

She yammered on for ages while making a plasticine cervix and regaling us with useless anecdotes from her births.

It was pointless, needless to say we didn't go back for any more session. It's not just because I'm a teacher, my husband isn't and he couldn't stand it she was just so rubbish at giving info to people.

It really grinds my gears that so many women dont get the chance to access any antenatal care and that so much of it is shite. I'm glad I've got enough smarts to ask questions adn read book and come here to get information, the poor girls and women who rely on antenatal classes are missing out on so much.

</rant>

In other news the OB wasnt too bad I guess, I had to LOL though he was reading my notes when I got in and it states intended place of birth - HOME quite clearly on the front and yet the 1st Q he asked was 'are you going to Ashford hospital?' errr no i reply I'm having a homebirth!

His reply to that was 'you do know it's dangerous, there is risk of UR'

I had to tell him yes I am aware there is a risk but I know that a HB is my best chance of getting a VBAC I want.

He went on to tell me he had a case of UR last week and was only able to get baby out in time because the lady was in hospital.

<facepalm>

I told him I have spoken to my MW I understand the risks and I have confidence that albeit very low risk and signs of UR would be picked up better by the 100% attention of my MW at home which I wouldn't get in hospital....he just looked at me smiles and said well we really don't need to think about this until I see you at 34 weeks. We'll talk more then.

He did say at some point it was good that my MW was supportive...I get the feeling he isn't LOL I wonder why

 

[Bournefree]

And good luck Chuck and Jen!!! Remember is it all about getting the home birth you want and them helping you achieve it!! They are duty bound to tell you about any associated risks with your pregnancy (and I do mean YOURS, so make sure there is any evidence provided if you might be indicated for certain risks)

Also, make them be specific if any of the risks they mention, might be treated or managed differently in a hospital environment.

For example - the big ones are, that can apply to any birth is:
*Post-partum haemorrhage. (after your baby is born) The midwives at home (just as in hospital) will bring clotting drugs (Syntometrine or Ergometrine - this one can contract you uterus down in less that 45 seconds following IV administration) and IV fluids, but they won't be able to do a blood transfusion - you will have to transfer for that. (as you would have to be moved in hospital actually!) However, you are more likely to have a physiological 3rd stage at home (which reduces the incidence of a retained placenta), and not use these drugs to deliver the placenta, but they can be used if you have a large bleed.
*Shoulder Dystocia. But the treatment and management of this is exactly the same as in hospital - they will ask you to try and adopt an optimum position (which you are more likely to be in at home anyways - rather than on your back! This is confirmed by NICE&#8216;s Interpartum Guidelines - where data has indicated a lower incidence of shoulder dyscocia in home births), then when all else fails (i.e reaching in a pulling baby out, next step involved is breaking the babies clavicle - just the same as in hospital, so the hospital doesn&#8217;t hold any advantage on this one.
*Failure to Progress. You are far less likely to have this problem at home - you will be more relaxed, less inhibited, and not on a time schedule, unlike in hospital, where arbitrary time limits seem to be set, and discourage and worry mothers - further compounding problems. This is the most common reason given for a necessity of a c-section. Where as the ONLY physiological reason for a failure of the cervix to dilate beyond a certain point should be cephalo-pelvic disproportion (I.e babies head is too large for your pelvis)
*Fetal distress. The only way that fetal distress is measured is with monitoring of the babies heart beat - it is worth noting that fetal monitoring is a fairly recent routine medical technology. So it is unclear whether some of the changes in fetal heart rate, are not just the normal consequences of labour for the baby, as there is little data available. (infact what has been shown is that fetal heart rate will dip in a contraction, and that is very normal) However, below 100 bpm or even over 160bmp could indicate the cord has become restricted. You will not be overly monitored at home - the mw don&#8217;t carry CGT for constant monitoring.. So it is every 5 to 15 min with a Doppler and much less restrictive! Another sign of fetal distress is meconium staining. - midwives are under instruction to take women to hospital with meconium staining - though, light or old, rather than fresh, wouldn&#8217;t be an indicator to transfer.

Sorry that all sounds really scary - but the point is.. some of the management is just the same! and there isn't a benefit to going in.. and will increase the likelihood of a c-section.

As for cord getting stuck round babies neck - that becomes more common when babies head is already descended into the birth canal, that it can come under considerable pressure, restricting blood flow to the baby. All midwives run their fingers round babies neck, once presenting, to check the cord isn't restricted. Because although, we could choke of we had something round our necks, the baby until born and the cord has stopped pulsating, is receiving all it's oxygen supply from the cord.. so it is the cord that is important to maintain continuity - not the babies neck.

At your homebirth assessment Jen, if your OH is about, they will want to hear from him that he is onboard with your homebirth plans.
Also, an almost certain and an unfortunate practice is, you will receive a letter from the senior/supervisor of midwives stating all the problems you might encounter above (and perhaps some more), and also stating that the Trust/providers might not be able to provide cover for homebirth. Don't get disheartened, it is usually a standard letter, and if you stand your ground, they will come to you. (this is from personal experience - I said to my midwife, I simply wasn't going to go in if asked on the phone without any medical reason - she kindly assured me, they would get to me hook or by crook - as I was saying I'd rather have a paramedic assist me, if they were unable, but there wasn't an ice cube in hells chance I would be moved!! hahaha)

It's a balancing act between listening to their concerns, and knowing your own mind and getting your views across. It can help to write down some reasons why home birth is for you - so it doesn't feel all doom and gloom!

Also, prepare a list of questions you would like to ask - how many midwives are on call at any one time (excluding holidays) for example? What equipment do they carry? how soon would they be able to get any equipment they don't carry as standard (extra g&a, or extra sutures etc)

Let us know how you both get on?

P.S Chuck - remember to ask your Obt if they have seen a natural birth, and when was it?
xxxx


*** Sorry Chuck just seen your update - well done you!!! xxxxx!!****