Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[Jenniflower]

Just wanted to share... we just got back from our appointment with the consultant and he has 'okayed' us for the home birth! Very happy about this indeed. Off to order the birth pool now

YAY!!!

 

[Anababe]

Amy_K - Thats great, how exciting!!

I cant wait to see my midwife now to have it all okay'ed. My latest iron results have come back 10.6 so im pretty sure i should be ok to have my HB Perfect doula found and booked! dad back on side about the HB, just need ok from midwife and id say everything is looking good!! whooop

And im nearly 30 weeks! I dunno why but that seems like more of a milestone than starting 3rd tri does to me lol.. im actually starting to feel excited instead of terrified for the first time this whole pregnancy

 

[Mervs Mum]

Happy dances all round!!! I love it when everyone is feeling good!!

 

[nikki-lou25]

Anababe - great news on the HB levels!! Fabby that you feel excited about the birth now. Who is your doula hun?

 

[Mervs Mum]

I was just thinking about you Nikki! Michelle has just kindly agreed to be my assessor mentor for my Doula UK recognition!

 

[Linzi]

Little update from me if thats ok!!

We went to Leeds Hombirth Support Group yesterday and I found it very helpful. It was good to hear all sorts of stories - ones that went perfectly, and ones not so - and the opportunity to ask questions of the lady who run the group (who I think is a doula) and there was also a midwife there too.

My husband didn't find it too great tbh, there was a few things that were said that he didn't agree with and I think it got his back up a bit. A lot of people were VERY anti hospital, and he seems to think I've been brain washed by it & homebirth ladies on here which I explained is clearly not the case!!

I think it's very different for me to a lot of people - having a good hospital birth has given me the confidence to do this in my own home. I didn't have a horrible birth in hospital, Im not traumatised and if I need to go to hospital then I will, but I'd RATHER give birth at home for various reasons.

He keeps saying that all the information I keep giving him is all pro home birth and never negative homebirth, but to be honest I've not read a lot. Even women who's labours haven't gone to plan have on the whole said that it wasn't due to the baby being born at home. We had a bit of a 'conversation' about it and I said that if he was worried about the information I was giving him being biased then why doesn't he do it himself? All he's basing his opinion on is what he thinks, not knowledge. Slightly heated conversation!!

But on the plus side he has started reading more and is starting to sound more positive about it.

I just don't feel like he's veer going to be 100% happy about it and while it is my birth and he's told me it's my decision and he will go along with whatever, I want him to be happy about it? He's my focus and probably the most important person to me who will be there, he's the only one who can comfort me and I NEED to know that he is ok and not worried or thinking about something going wrong.

I don't know. I hope we get the answers he's looking for because I do want this. All I can say is Im so pleased we started thinking about this already 30 weeks still to make a decision!!

xxx

 

[Mervs Mum]

Linzi that reads like me talking this time last year - your OH sounds exactly like mine did. We ended up falling out about it because I really, really wanted him to be 100% on board without feeling I dragged him there!! But alas I think unless that had happened right away I'd never be able to force it. This thread was originally started by me so if you read the first few pages of posts that are now assigned to Kiwimama, you'll see exactly what happened! Eventually he said while he wasnt 100% he supported my choices. I like you had a difficult but not horrific hospital experience with my first and a wonderful birth centre (based in the same hospital) birth with my second and he couldnt understand why we wouldnt just go back to the birth centre!

Needless to say he is now a hypnobirthing and home birthing convert! He tells EVERYONE and ANYONE our boy was born at home and totally recommends it from a dad's perspective.

BTW Hannah is a doula (Calm Yorkshire Birth) and yes some people do come over anti hospital or militant but that's usually because they are not as lucky as we are and havent had very good experiences with hospitals.

 

[PeanutBean]

I'm militant! gonna change my status to militant poo breather. I think like lots of things I need to go the whole hog in the opposite direction to be able to come back to the middle, iyswim. I need the hospital to say they were knobs and got it wrong, or words to that effect! And I need a nice homebirth to recover.

Lines I'm sure he'll come round. I planned a homebirth last time but even so DH was a bit anxious, especially when they told me about the GBS last week. He immediately googled to try and put both our minds at rest and find the right answer for us. I guess it helps that he will do anything to have me not be crying for another two years over two bad births! Information is key. We can only challenge preconceptions by reading and reading so that's what your OH needs to do I guess.

 

[Mervs Mum]

PLEASE change your status to Militant Poo Breather!!!

 

[Linzi]

I totally understand why people don't like hospitals and that is fine by me, I understand how it could happen, I was just lucky to have an extra quick ulta easy birth. On the same page, I discharged both em & seth after 6 hours as they had still failed to send a paediatrician round to check & I was sick of the four walls.

But Matt doesn't see it that way I don't think, I think he sees new age, feminist views and I know that it's not like that at all. It's personal preferance I guess.

He also thinks hypnobirthing is a load of twaddle and doesn't see how it will help I need to educate him a bit I think!!

Will certainly read your story from the first few pages hun

xxx

 

[Linzi]

I'm militant! gonna change my status to militant poo breather. I think like lots of things I need to go the whole hog in the opposite direction to be able to come back to the middle, iyswim. I need the hospital to say they were knobs and got it wrong, or words to that effect! And I need a nice homebirth to recover.

Lines I'm sure he'll come round. I planned a homebirth last time but even so DH was a bit anxious, especially when they told me about the GBS last week. He immediately googled to try and put both our minds at rest and find the right answer for us. I guess it helps that he will do anything to have me not be crying for another two years over two bad births! Information is key. We can only challenge preconceptions by reading and reading so that's what your OH needs to do I guess.

Im so sorry you're still suffering from the birth I really hope that you get exactly the birth you want this time around. xxx

 

[Bournefree]

lol!!!! Linzi, MMum and and Peanut!! You are making me look like a loon.. laughing away at the laptop!! I can hear my OH sighing!

I would love to be known as a Brain-Washing-Militant Homebirther!!

Your OH will come round Linzi, I'm sure of it. My OH hates the sight of blood, thought that it was going to be a horrible experience for HIM, having a baby! But I slightly bombarded him - making him read books, watch videos etc, and he did come round, to the point where he was an absolute hero in my eyes!.. and I have been more in love with him ever since! He will also proudly tell anyone we had DD at home - he felt as though he had achived something amazing too, and in my view he did!

I think asking your OH to do his own research is a brilliant idea!

xXx

 

[Mervs Mum]

Oh Linzi make no mistake - there's a HUGE part of this that's new age feminism and I am only too happy to take on that label!! Yes on a basic level it's about choices but I do think there are some strong feminist influences in the recent shift towards home and 'natural' birthing we are seeing.

 

[PeanutBean]

I agree that there is a lot of feminism too. I would always call myself a feminist in general in life. I know these days feminism has this reputation as you describe it Linzi. I think it's kind of sad when even women think we're nuts and the best thing they can do it get some drugs and some 'experts' and let everyone take care of them for better or worse. I think women do need to reclaim birth.

I'm always getting wrong on here when I state my honest opinion that OHs really have nothing to do with it when it comes down to the birth. People misunderstand and think I don't recognise the support OHs can offer etc but that's not what I mean at all. I depend on mine to be there. But still when it comes down to it the baby is in my body. Only I in the whole world will know how I feel both about the birth at the time and afterwards. It's my body that has been committed and will show all the signs of that commitment afterwards. All these things make the birth situation MY decision and mine alone. I want DH there with me and I'm lucky that he is the most supportive man probably in the whole world but if he wasn't with me I'd be doing it anyway. Breaks my heart hearing stories of women forgetting their birth plans because OHs have 'put their foot down' or whatever. And this is before even getting into the whole male doctor catalogue of issues. So yes, I think it is a feminist issue and even women need to see that we have a right to have high expectations of our birth experience and a right to feel the emotions (good and bad) that we feel because of our experiences.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Perfectly put PB

 

[Anababe]

Anababe - great news on the HB levels!! Fabby that you feel excited about the birth now. Who is your doula hun?

Our lovely Mervs Mum on here is going to be my doula

 

[nikki-lou25]

aww how lovely

Lisa - I love Michelle, she is lovely - fab mentor you have

 

[PeanutBean]

You girls make me want a doula just to join in!

 

[Mervs Mum]

I'm not booked in february

Nikki - I thought you'd approve - I always remember how highly you spoke of her x

 

[Mervs Mum]

Oh and I am VERY pleased to be Anababe's doula - she's going to have a wonderful, quick and easy home water birth