Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[Bournefree]

I forgot to add some of the graphic pictures I promissed.. so have uploaded them now.
I appologise for my bedragged hair... it was that wonderful water spray I used to keep cool.. hahaha!!

Nat, I like your birth plan, sounds great! I also think that it is good that you mentioned about pain, not being mentioned - this is really positive. As it isn't painfull.. it's different, but I would never describe it as painful. I think that the minuite people talk about pain, it brings with it fear, and you then get muscle tension - which, will lead to pain.. starting a vicious cycle.

I think that if I could do anything different about Bronwyn's birth, then it would be to hold off on that last push - I really pushed too hard.. which is prob why I tore, and she shot out like a cork!!

Good book to read - although dated is Dr Dick Grantly's, child birth without fear. An insight.
Also I read, Nicky Weston's, Homebirth

I'm going to post up some of the things that I found useful in prep for the birth. Perhaps we could make a list at the begining of the thread, for that too?

xxx

 

[BabyHaines]

Hello ladies
A big welcome to all the newbies on the thread - how exciting!!
Eternal Rose....Sooooo pleased to see you here, and I think (if I'm right) that from what I read in third tri, you had a horrible hospital experience, making you consider a HB (is that right??) if so - that's the same as me xxxx

A quick update:
Sorry for the absence, been very busy this week, although looking forward to catching up on all the posts in here
Had a terribly sad start to the week, as received a phonecall from my sister about her pony (she's a beautiful mare we've had in the family for about 15yrs). My sister had the awful task of deciding that enough was enough and she had a good, long life and she could watch Blaze suffer no more, so had deceided to have her put to sleep :'(
I travelled to Essex to be with my sister and say my goodbyes and it was very, very emotional and difficult....
However, when I got home on Thursday afternoon, my gorgeous hubby had finished the nursery and we put the furniture in and it helped take my mind off things a little.
I also finally got the following:
EPO capsules - 500mg
Raspberry Leaf tincture
Clary Sage essential oil
Lavender " "
Tea Tree " "
& a wheatgerm carrier oil for massage.
I also spoke to my MW, who has booked to come out to my home on Monday (36+3) as I think we will discuss my HB in detail.....OMG - soooooo excited!!

Lisa, could I ask.....the Raspberry Leaf tincture I got (because I don't like the tea ) says on the side of the bottle....'do not use if pregnant or nursing' I didn't notice 'til I got it home!!
Have you any idea why that might be?? I just thought I could take a ml or two a day in a drop of water?? Hmmmm, confused now?!xxxx

 

[BabyHaines]

OMG Nicola.....have just seen your post and your baby's name....I posted in the baby names section and third tri about the name 'Bronwen' if I have a little lady (I'm on team yellow) as it was the second part of Blaze's show name!!

I love it !! xxxx

 

[Bournefree]

Her daddy's Welsh!!! plus it was one of the few Welsh names i liked, and could spell and pronounce correctly!! Could you Imagine, having your father in-law correcting you everytime you said your childs name?? - well some of them were like that!! haha!!

Sorry to hear about the loss of your family friend, it's very sad.. when you have to say goodbye to family animals, esp when they have been with you since you were little
xx

 

[MandaAnda]

I rang my midwife this morning, and she answered. She apologised profusely (and over and over), saying that she'd been sick with a tummy bug and felt so awful that she didn't even think to look in her diary. She kept saying how bad she felt, which I know was sincere. I did make a point of not saying, "Oh, that's ok," which is what I'd normally do, because it's not ok. But I do appreciate that she's apologetic, as I was in floods of tears yesterday when I realised that I'd been forgotten (one of my few emotional outbursts during pregnancy). I'm doing things today, so we've arranged for her to come by tomorrow afternoon.

Bournefree, absolutely lovely pictures!

 

[EternalRose]

I rang my midwife this morning, and she answered. She apologised profusely (and over and over), saying that she'd been sick with a tummy bug and felt so awful that she didn't even think to look in her diary. She kept saying how bad she felt, which I know was sincere. I did make a point of not saying, "Oh, that's ok," which is what I'd normally do, because it's not ok. But I do appreciate that she's apologetic, as I was in floods of tears yesterday when I realised that I'd been forgotten (one of my few emotional outbursts during pregnancy). I'm doing things today, so we've arranged for her to come by tomorrow afternoon.

Bournefree, absolutely lovely pictures!

Im so glad you stuck to your guns Manda, and you get to see her tomorrow.

Bournefree, I actually thought for someone who has just given birth you look really really good Brilliant pictures. x x

 

[Mervs Mum]

Nicola - you look fantastic!!! Thanks so much for sharing and yes we could have a list of useful items for a HB on the OP

BabyHaines is it a liquid tincture? You'll fine most herbal supplements seem to have the 'pregnant or nursing' warning on them. EPO does for sure. From my understanding tinctures are much more potent. I have the tablets for the same reason and TBH I didnt think of the tincture. Where did you get it from? If it's a herbalist perhaps they could advise how is compares in strength so you can get the right amount?

 

[Mervs Mum]

We also have a sheet we were given in hypnobirthing that gives the midwives a bit more info about hypnobirthing in case they're unfamiliar, so I'll be giving them that too.

I've been to my hypno class this morning and I meant to ask about this Would you be able to scan it in to share it at all? Tell me to naff off if you like.

 

[Bournefree]

I rang my midwife this morning, and she answered. She apologised profusely (and over and over), saying that she'd been sick with a tummy bug and felt so awful that she didn't even think to look in her diary. She kept saying how bad she felt, which I know was sincere. I did make a point of not saying, "Oh, that's ok," which is what I'd normally do, because it's not ok. But I do appreciate that she's apologetic, as I was in floods of tears yesterday when I realised that I'd been forgotten (one of my few emotional outbursts during pregnancy). I'm doing things today, so we've arranged for her to come by tomorrow afternoon.

Bournefree, absolutely lovely pictures!

Thank you - Very kind - Some of the ladies from my anti-natal classes, had immaculate hair, and even make-up on, in their just-given-birth-pictures!!

I'm sorry about to hear about your appointment with the MW MandaAnda - but you know, you don't have to have an assesment to have a home birth, or even have any equipment delivered. There are plenty of mum's who give birth at home without ever even planning too and are attended by the mw's.

A few thoughts about the assesment;
Make sure you get the number of the on-call mw's bleep (They might have a different system where you are?) - but you want to know who to call, which in my area was a totally different number to the one needed if you were going to the birth-centre or hospital
Have it written down on you notes, the calendar and in your phones - you don't want to loose it!!
Make a list of all the things that you want to ask them before they come round. With my assesement - I had my MW and the senior MW for the area come out. I didn't make a list of my questions.. and as soon as they left, I could remember loads of things I had forgotten to ask!! Or wanted to say. (typical!)
Also the senior mw made a long note in my records, saying they had warned me of all the problems that my arrise - not only this, but she also posted a letter to me covering our conversation!! They have to cover there backs, which is fair enough. Mostly becuase of my gestational dibeties (you might not experiance that)
A special point was made in this letter about the possibility of there not being enough staff, and how I could be asked to come in. I just said I wouldn't be going in, and would deliver myself, and call paramedics if needs be! I don't know if that is what I really would have done - but, I wanted to show my strenght of feeling about having a homebirth!
My mw wispered to me just before they left, saying "look she has to say that, but between me, you and the door post - we will get someone to you"
xxx

 

[EternalRose]

Bournefree I love you!

Its like your reading my mind when you write your posts..

I am concerned about being told there are no midwives available when it comes to it as well but I was thinking of getting round that by writing a letter to the community midwives sister from 37 weeks 'reminding' them of my homebirth so they can get staff sorted out in advance a bit cheeky but if I did that they wont be able to use that excuse when the time comes. I wonder if I have any midwives come to do an 'assessment' I dont think I am going to know where I stand with this untill my 33 week appointment but I definately want my homebirth MM and Bournefree you would make brilliant midwives, so would Manda but she is already taken as a NICU nurse! x x x

 

[Bournefree]

Bournefree I love you!

Its like your reading my mind when you write your posts..

I am concerned about being told there are no midwives available when it comes to it as well but I was thinking of getting round that by writing a letter to the community midwives sister from 37 weeks 'reminding' them of my homebirth so they can get staff sorted out in advance a bit cheeky but if I did that they wont be able to use that excuse when the time comes. I wonder if I have any midwives come to do an 'assessment' I dont think I am going to know where I stand with this untill my 33 week appointment but I definately want my homebirth MM and Bournefree you would make brilliant midwives, so would Manda but she is already taken as a NICU nurse! x x x

Ohhh.. that's so nice thank you!!

I guess that it could be a possibility, there might not be any midwives available - but I think it is pretty rare. It just something they have to make you aware of.

As you won't know when you are going to have your baby - I think that the best thing I did was to call out the mw's to me in early labour, then the mw co-ordinator could plan mw's for my area around me at the time. As it happened, the first lot that came out to me were from about 20 miles away at the hospital as it was 3 in the morning - but I'm sure they made arrangements for local midwives closer to the time and for my mw Jill to attend me. Plus the other MW, Chris, only lived round the corner. It must had been due to me giving them quite a few hours notice!! haha

I'm not sure this could be planned weeks in advance, but writting a letter, must help - but please don't be disappointed if you get a standard responce along the lines of "whist we aim to provide a wide chioce for expectant mothers, sometimes due to staff shortages... blah, blah, blah"

Which is pretty much what I got.. It s not personal, and as my MW confessed to me, they will really try to get to you.
xxx

 

[Jen_H]

Hey,
I have just come over here after i posted a thread in 2nd Tri. Got to about page 20 of this thread so far and will continue the rest later - so apologies if am going to ask what someone has already asked!!
For the last few weeks i have been considering home birth, but there has never been any mention of that option from anyone before. Was sort of just told i would have my baby at the hospital on my booking appointment - the midwife was horrible. Am wondering now whether i will need to change to a different midwife team or when it is worth mentioning this to my midwife? I have my 24 weeks appointment on Tuesday but i dont know if its to soon to discuss it.
I cant see any reason to date why i wouldnt be allowed - i have no underlying health probs, normal BMI and my BP has been fine to, but does everywhere have to give you the option of homebirth or do some place not have the ability to offer it?
Jen x

 

[Bournefree]

Hey,
I have just come over here after i posted a thread in 2nd Tri. Got to about page 20 of this thread so far and will continue the rest later - so apologies if am going to ask what someone has already asked!!
For the last few weeks i have been considering home birth, but there has never been any mention of that option from anyone before. Was sort of just told i would have my baby at the hospital on my booking appointment - the midwife was horrible. Am wondering now whether i will need to change to a different midwife team or when it is worth mentioning this to my midwife? I have my 24 weeks appointment on Tuesday but i dont know if its to soon to discuss it.
I cant see any reason to date why i wouldnt be allowed - i have no underlying health probs, normal BMI and my BP has been fine to, but does everywhere have to give you the option of homebirth or do some place not have the ability to offer it?
Jen x

Since NICE guidelines changed, they all HAVE to offer homebirthing options, to all women, regardless of medical circumstances, there is no allowed.. there is only advice!

You can talk about your birthing options with your MW right from your booking appointment - it doesn't have to be set in stone.. when I first asked my MW at my booking appointment.. "when to I have to decide where I would like to give birth?" She kindly, but with a rye smile replied.. " you can decide right up until you are in labour.. and sometimes during labour, so don't worry if you change your mind a hundred times.. explore all the options, try to pick whats right for you, and if things change, then you will be prepaired"

I would mention it to your midwife.. or if you don't feel comfortable with her, ask for the local teams senior midwives number at the hospital.. they should be supportive (I found my midwives very supportive, as it is their specialist area.. what they are trained to do.. and most seemed delighted about women choosing to have a homebirth) This however, might not be the case with every MW.. there are some community mw's who used to only work exclusivley on the high dependancy unit, and there outlook can be skewed, to all doom and gloom..!!

It is worth remembering that homebirths only account for, at the most 2% of babies born nationwide, so unfortunatly there seems to be an assumption about going to a birth centre, or hospital. As you can imagine, if that is what you experiance most, then you wouldn't think to mention it very often. And if you start telling friends etc, about you planning a home birth - be prepaired for all the "oh your brave" "will they allow you to do that!?", I even had "have you been in labour before? Don't you know it hurts and could kill you" .... bollocks!! (this from my uncle, ignorant sod!... excuse my language! )

If you do feel comfortable with your midwife, ask her how long she hads been a mw, if she has attended any homebirths, and how many? Plus if she knows or can find out the % of homebirths for your area. I asked my MW this, and got a great responce. She also offered me information about how many mw were on call for the area at any one given time. In my small area (covering 10miles max) there were 3 midwives on call at anytime of day.. so that gave enough chance for me to be able to have 2 for a home birth (they all seem to want 2 to attend a home birth, one to support you, the other, to support the midwife taking the lead), but there were also other MW's that could be seconded from the birth unit (12miles away) and the hospital (about 20miles away) although, seconded MW's had a duty to any patients attending their units first.

please feel free to ask any questions you like.. I'm all for it!! There is also some great reading material on the first post by Mervs Mum, plus loads of websites etc.
Not too sound too hippy - but information, is self-empowering!
xxx

 

[BabyHaines]

Nicola - you look fantastic!!! Thanks so much for sharing and yes we could have a list of useful items for a HB on the OP

BabyHaines is it a liquid tincture? You'll fine most herbal supplements seem to have the 'pregnant or nursing' warning on them. EPO does for sure. From my understanding tinctures are much more potent. I have the tablets for the same reason and TBH I didnt think of the tincture. Where did you get it from? If it's a herbalist perhaps they could advise how is compares in strength so you can get the right amount?

You were right
I spoke to the lady at the shop and she said the warnings are on all tinctures as they are concentrated (she implied the tincture would have a LOT more effect than the tea). She said that some people advise against it, as there are rumors it will induce labour, but I said that I'd hold off until next Friday when I turn 37wks and also I'd check with my MW on Monday.
It is a shop in a town near me called 'Alternatives' and the tincture (large bottle) was just under £10 I think.
Although I must say she did keep saying that she would always advise that you seek advice from a qualified practitioner etc.....

Oooh, I took one EPO this AM, will take another in a little while and think I may *ahem* insert one tonight!!
I also mixed up a Clary Sage/Tea Tree/Lavender rub this morning and gave my bump a good massage - 'cor I love Clary Sage!! xxxx

 

[Mervs Mum]

Oh that rub sounds good! I actually like clary sage too. When you have a wee in the morning, there will be a little oil slick....

 

[BabyHaines]

Let's hope hubby doesn't try for any of this while it's up there either....
haha

 

[Celesse]

Let's hope hubby doesn't try for any of this while it's up there either....
haha

I've been inserting since the night of 36+6. OH basically gets a warning/ choice at bedtime along the lines of "if you want to help soften my cervix the natural way speak now, or the EPO is going in".

 

[hpjagged]

Casually strolling in here after deciding I'm probably going to have a home birth. I've gone from wanting a scheduled C-section, to wanting an epidural, to water birth in the hospital to water birth at home! lol

I'm due June 24th so I have lots of time to do more research. My MW is an independent MW, so not nhs and she specializes in water-home births. My DH is all for me having a water-home birth.
So wanted to say HI and tell you what great information you ladies are giving!

 

[Mervs Mum]

Hi hpjagged

Would you like to be added to the due dates list? are you team yellow?

 

[hpjagged]

Sure! I'm team PINK.