Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[PeanutBean]

Thanks mm. If I get my mw I know she will be confident and have confidence in me. Some of the others from the team I think would be ok too. There's a bad one I had last time but I'm not sure she's in the team since the restructure but she is going to be banned from my house so that won't be a problem!

All I need to do is to make the birth be magically like it is in my head now!

 

[Mervs Mum]

And it will!! Dont be afraid to be demanding (something tells me you wont ) and be very specific. Set your pool up in one room and ask them to set up camp in a different one. Tell them you want it to be just you and OH as much as possible and to sit on their hands!

 

[Mervs Mum]

It's funny because I was at a meeting with 7 MWs at Barnsley hospital this week and the SOMs said most MWs are too controlling and need to learn to sit on their hands!! She was also a Hypnobirthing practitioner (as were all 7 of them) and said she was glad to see women finally taking control of their births again! What a shame she's ready for retiring!!

 

[PeanutBean]

The problem we have is that the pool has to go in the kitchen for a variety of practical reasons. But the sitting room (front door), stairs, and utility (back door) all come on to the kitchen. It's possible to have cooking etc in utility and get to stairs without coming into the kitchen but that means the mws have to sit on my bed or in byron's room instead of the sitting room!

 

[Mervs Mum]

You mean like open plan? I cant get my head round that description! But even if the room is off the kitchen what I'm say is you can say you dont want to feel observed so have they sit on the sofa? Is that away from where the pool will be?

 

[PeanutBean]

No not open plan just minus corridors - it's a fairly small old house. I suppose I could shut the sitting room door and have them walk out the house and in the back instead of through the kitchen!

To give you an idea, front door straight into sitting room. Door between sitting room and kitchen. Another door other side of kitchen leading to utility, back door and stairs. Bathroom upstairs of course.

I'm just assuming it'll be hours because of last time and they'll be milling around wanting tea and snacks. Maybe we should set the wii up in the new loft room, that'll keep them busy!

 

[2ndtimeAbz]

LOL PB I nearly choked on my lunch at the thought of the mw's playing the wii upstairs whilst ur giving birth! Haja

 

[gertrude]

I think for me it will depend on which MW I get - most I've spoken to have sounded great and really get HB (both my team and the area next to me work together and they're all pro-HB) and seem to understand you choose it to have a different less invasive experience than at hospital

I just need to be reassured that the daft bat I met last time was just a one off otherwise she'll be blacklisted and I'll try and find out the rota of MW's

 

[chuck]

i have had the WORSt day.

Me and hubby had a big barney in the week - it blew up again today and I've been told if I'm not happy than get out more than once today.

We're sat on opposite ends of the sofa not talking.

I don't know what to do.

I try speaking to him about how I'm feeling and get told I'm making things up, twisting his words and manipulating things. I do nothing and I'm getting walked all over like a frickin doormat.

ARRRGRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH I do not need this right now.

</rant>

Sorry ladies I dont mean to rant here but at least you kind of know me! Dont feel the need to reply.

 

[PeanutBean]

Oh chuck. All I ever say is "oh chuck"! I wish I could think of something constructive to say... Is it all down to the birth or are there other factors too?

 

[chuck]

Everything.

I think this is it.

Marriage over.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Really chuck? Oh you really don't need this right now

 

[PeanutBean]

If you want to go into it more, vent, rant, sound off, whatever, you know where we are.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Wss ^^ definitely feel free to let off steam here if needs be x

 

[2ndtimeAbz]

chuck

 

[gertrude]

chuck

remember being so chocked full of hormones is no time to make massive decisions xx

 

[chuck]

Thanks girls I know but things have been brewing a long while now.

We've been looking at buying a house and I honestly don't think I want to commit to it even if things do change between us - something just keeps telling me it'll be easier all around to get out now.

Its ridiculous we've only been married a year - I don't want to be a single Mum to 2 but I don't want to be unhappy either.

Ergh.

He thinks I'm the one who is nuts and have driven the wedge between us and I think it's his utter selfishness and in tolerance thats driven me from him! No matter what he will make this as difficult as he possibly can for me.

In don't know what to do.

sob.

 

[gertrude]

urgh that sounds tough if you have doubts about the new house no don't do it - delay it at all costs

our gut instincts are so very often right

which is was better though just remember, whatever happens kids need parents who are happy, it doesn't matter where they live IMVHO

 

[PeanutBean]

Have you thought about marriage counselling? There could be allsorts that could be talked through and cleared, especially around the birth and both your reactions to it.

 

[chuck]

Well I'm still here he hasnt thrown me out yet despite telling me to go numerous times yesterday.

I slept in the back room last night and he came in at 2am and got into bed to give me a cuddle - we didn't say anything but I guess things may not be irreparable again despite what he said yesterday.

...as for counselling he is NOT the kind of person that would even entertain the idea. he wouldnt come with me to see the counsellor after I had Dewi he wouldn't think about going to see someone about our relationship.