Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[Thumper]

At first I chose not to read it but I did go back and read the first few posts. It's so completely opposite to my beliefs that I also had to run away with a loud slam of the door behind me. Would be far to easy to get involved in the debate and that will only get my BP up! Grrrrrrrrrr!!!! Makes me so mad but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Pain relief as standard??? I'll pass thanks

 

[rachiedata]

Morning ladies! Just had a look at that pain relief thread... I think it's the opinion that we all require pharmacological pain relief that is contrary to opinion in this section of the forum. I actually agree with the sentiment (only read the first page by the way) of the posts, that there should be more options available to all women, and more information about the full range of alternatives, obviously including non-pharmacological options. Of course we should all be educating ourselves about these options and not rely on the hospital or midwives to inform us, but that's another debate altogether...

I've not gone work today because I feel I've not slept a wink for two nights. I've not felt any kick or punch type movements for quite a few days now, it's all shuffling and wriggling and turning, almost constant. Don't know if this is what's keeping me up at night or something else. So tired

So do I take a days annual leave, or book sick leave for the day?

Went to a home birth support group the other night which was nice, just nice to talk to other women planning the same thing round here, and who've already done it. Not sure I'd go to another one but was good reference for when OH's family came round to ours last night, and his dad was shocked and surprised we were planning to have the baby at home! Think we definitely managed to explain ourselves well and explain away any worries he had... funniest moment was when he said to OH's mum, "Where would you have rather been when you were in labour, home or hospital?" and she said without missing a beat, "Home, definitely!" Don't think that was the reply he wanted at all, but think we proved it was the best choice for us, and that the only opinions that mattered belonged to me and OH!

 

[PeanutBean]

I just can't understand how anyone could get the notion that the medical business has not done enough to provide pain relief meds for women because they think we are second class citizens. It's utterly bizarre to me as someone who has experienced the cascade of intervention; as a scientist; and as an advocate or women reclaiming birth for themselves. And then another post later on said there should be more meds researched for use in pregnancy to help us cope with the anxiety of impending birth!!!

Anyway....keep calm and leave it in the thread it came from...

My birth pool arrived!

 

[moomin_troll]

i havent seen this thread but what more can they give a woman whos pushing another human out of her, its guna bloody hurt lol

anywho...congrats peanut about getting ur pool.
ive not even made any plans for my home birth yet but im starting to get really nervous about it, worried that i will be told no or have to go hospital anyway.

even tho with zane all i had at hospital i would of been able to have and do at home, just with a nicer bed afterwards.

also im nt sure what is the best time to start contacting doulas? im 20 weeks on sat so thought i best do it now but then im not sure when contact with one would start.....

im so confused hahaha

 

[PeanutBean]

Moomin I'm getting pretty close now (only 2 weeks til it can all be real) and I'm still pretty scared about the possibility of having to go in. I try to be rational and calm about it. I don't want a fear of what might be coming into the labour at home so that it is self-fulfilling but at the same time I don't know how I will be if there is what I would consider a true reason to be transferred before the birth. I want to think that I will be ok about it because it was real (unlike my first birth experience) but I know I will still hate being there and feel devastated to be there.

How are others of you who had tricky first births preparing for the transfer possibility? I'm mostly working on being in denial but I'm not sure that's the best approach!

 

[moomin_troll]

i am going to be contacting another hospital to see if i can register with them just incase as i really dont want to go to the same hospital i had zane in. i think thats the only reason im scared is the thought of going back there.

then about the homebirth, im worried about where zane will go who i want there with me, aswel as a doula. then im also weorried i wont be able to find a doula i like. seen as shes going to be seeing so much of me lol

 

[PeanutBean]

Every time I see something new like the Business of Being Born I watched this morning I think I want an independent MW. It's ridiculous but even though I like her and know she is supportive I feel like I don't have that level of connection with my own. Maybe I can't actually have the level of connection I would want with anyone though. It's confusing isn't it moomin! So many things to think about and I know I feel so sensitive about so many different things and whilst learning more is making me more confident and empowered it's also making me more sensitive about other things I hadn't considered before!

I bet you will be able to find a doula you like though. Make sure you 'shop around' though and don't settle for anyone you don't feel totally comfortable with!

 

[moomin_troll]

yeah, ive got 2 numbers to call so far for doulas in my area. im not too keen on my mw so dont no if they will provide someone else for a homebirth. shes nice enough and seemed excited when i mentioned homebirth so who knows.

i just feel u dont see ur mw enough to get a bond

 

[PeanutBean]

I seem to be feeling mroe and more protective about the birth such I'm not convinced I would get the right bond with anyone at all! I'm just hoping the MW can and will stay out the way so I just get on with things.

You can request to not be seen by a MW. There was one who attended my last birth who upset DH and my Mum and performed a contraindicated internal so I am going to request she isn't sent to me under any circumstances when I see the consultant MW next week.

 

[2ndtimeAbz]

I didn't click with my MW until the last couple of visits...now I'm glad she will definately be one of the MWs who attends during labour.
PB - I'm leaving it until the very last minute to pack a bag, I don't want to as I feel like I'm tempting fate by having one 'just in case' but DH running round as we call an amublance is not the best situation.
Reluctant tho, it's not in-line with my positive mindset!!

 

[PeanutBean]

Does that mean you're practising denial too? I've had a bag packed since Christmas but I do need to go over it as I had to empty it to go on a work trip a couple of weeks ago! It's my birth bag for DH so I don't find that bothers me or affects my positivity. I'm just not sure if I should rehearse a what-if scenario or just blindly assume everything will be perfect and deal with it if it happens.

 

[KandyKinz]

How are others of you who had tricky first births preparing for the transfer possibility? I'm mostly working on being in denial but I'm not sure that's the best approach!

Denial seems to be working for me though I do have my bags packed. I figure if I have to go in I'll be enough that if I forgot anything (eg. conditioner or my favorite comfy panties) I'd breakdown for sure. My post birth jammies and clothes for baby etc are all the same whether I'm at home or hospital... I'm just hoping I'll be digging into my birth bag while at home.

And YAY! for the birth pool! My shingles seem to be drying up quite nicely, I think the baking soda is doing an awesome job with that so I'm feeling rather optimistic that a waterbirth will still be a suitable option when labour arrives. At first, I really only wanted to labour in water as I couldn't picture actually giving birth there but now I can't picture birthing anywhere but in water.

 

[PeanutBean]

That's good news Kandy!

By the way, when I said preparing for transfer I meant mentally rather than packing bags!

 

[KandyKinz]

That's good news Kandy!

By the way, when I said preparing for transfer I meant mentally rather than packing bags!

Well mentally I'm in denial all the way!!!!!!

 

[PeanutBean]

Perhaps that's the answer then! I'll just keep doing what I'm doing!

 

[Jenniflower]

I didn't click with my MW until the last couple of visits...now I'm glad she will definately be one of the MWs who attends during labour.
PB - I'm leaving it until the very last minute to pack a bag, I don't want to as I feel like I'm tempting fate by having one 'just in case' but DH running round as we call an amublance is not the best situation.
Reluctant tho, it's not in-line with my positive mindset!!

I was totally like you and never packed a bag because I thought it would throw off my positive mind set. I don't regret it though even though I had to go in. It wasn't like I needed much anyways. The stuff we sent MiL back for to get because we forgot in the rush was stuff that wouldn't have been packed anyways like my favourite pillow and my toothbrush. I actually ended up in the hospital three times without preparing and never felt I was without anything. The third time was after she was born and I had high BP so hubby just went down to the WHSmith that was there and bought me a toothbrush and some shampoo hahaha.

My point is if you want to keep the positive mind set I say go for it! Besides it might be good for your brain at a turning point when you might think "I need to go in!!" But then you won't want to because you'll have to pack! hahaha.

 

[lousielou]

I'm another denier

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I have a bag packed just in case. But I refuse to allow myself to think about the what if's. My husband still wants me to have a hospital birth so I'm purposely trying to come up with ways to kick him out of the house while I'm in labour. He's already got party nights with his friends and I bought him Rush tickets as an anniversary gift. My midwife is amazing though. She's reassured me that she is there for me and is willing to tell my husband at a certain centimetre that it's too late to go. He'll believe it too because I dilate very quickly once my water is broken and she's willing to break at 5cm if I request. With my son, the hospital broke my water at 7cm and I was 10cm just three minutes later.

This time though, I am downright determined to have a homebirth. So much so that I won't even look at the hospital as I drive by it.

 

[PeanutBean]

Part of my denial is not changing hospitals as I'm determined not to go in so what does it matter? My current one is half the distance from the alternative and I figure a true emergency will make it better to be closer when it comes down to it.

Best not let the naysayers see all this denial!

Jenni can I ask you a frank question? Feel free to say if you don't want to answer. Given that in the end your transfer was necessary, how did you feel about it? I mean setting aside that it was a horrid traumatic experience, did you feel reconciled with it because of the circumstances? I hope you know what I mean, this reads very badly to me but I don't know how to better word it! I am hoping that if there is a true reason I can be ok with it even if I am devastated with the way the birth went overall. I mean, I don't want to feel 'it shouldn't have been this way' and all those terrible feelings of regret that I have associated with my son's birth. Does that make any sense at all?

 

[gertrude]

I've packed pickles bag and I'll pack mine too once I'm back from my Mums. Not because I want anything other than a home birth but the law of Sod rules my life somewhat so whatever I'm not prepared for will be what I end up with So by having the bags ready I'm hoping I'll avoid such issues