Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[caro103]

blah give your DH time...mine wasn't at all on board initially, but with time and info he's really into the idea now! xx

 

[moomin_troll]

i was looking forward to giving birth in germany as their birthing centres are actualy houses away from the hospital with a ambulance outside just incase and they have all kinds of therapists there, like hypno. so i was really looking forward to it. then i had to come back here

theres only 1 pool in my hospital and then a room with a small bath in it.

for some reason ive just been thinking about birthing positions and then almost going thru in my head how i pushed with zane.....think im going mad lol

 

[Bournefree]

Sorry to jump on this but - Legally speaking they are also required to attend you in a birthing centre too. ESP if that is where you turn up in labour, and don't want to be moved... However the reality of the pressure to be transferred say if you are breach or twins ect will be more intense. You can negate this by planning your birth with the head of Midwifery and your MW before-hand - this is, afterall, something you can plan for.

You might be surprised at the number of variances of norm they are happy to accommodate - There margins are NOT as narrow as you might think. For instance, my stand alone birth centre, will happily accommodate (and have to, on maternal insistence), twins, twins in the pool, high BMI, anaemia, GD, etc, etc.. they “can’t” refuse you - they can only advise.

But it still comes down to personal choice, and what you are comfortable with - Things like, if your choice is to have an epidural, you generally won't be able to get that at a birth centre (some attached to a hospital with an Obst unit, it will be possible to arrange), and if you have clinical signs of PE - your "choice" still can't be limited, but I doubt that many of us will choose to go for that, considering limits in resources of the location. But as long as you are aware of any limits in the resources of a certain choice, you can really do whatever you like. Same applies to home, birth centre or hospital.

Sorry I know that most of us know the limits - but it is still important to note that the law and your rights are the same. We are ALL allowed to go against medical advice.. even if it is on medical "territory" the legal duty of care is the same.. and your own responsibility towards your own health is the same.

Some women who face “difficulties” with the medical system with certain medical conditions and who have utter confidence in their bodies, take the option, against medical advice, of going out-side the system and opt for a homebirth (either with or without a independent MW), because of the reasons of the pressure the “system” puts on them - and their visualisation of their birth has been effectively ruined by pressure - this is a sad situation, but a very understandable one, as the element control is placed firmly back with the mother… and that is where it should be at all times. Regardless.
XxX

 

[Blah11]

I will but idk, i'll need to 'decide' at my booking in won't I? So they 'book' me a space? idk, i guess I can just say possible home birth but would like to keep my options open with birthing centre?

 

[Blah11]

Sorry to jump on this but - Legally speaking they are also required to attend you in a birthing centre too. ESP if that is where you turn up in labour, and don't want to be moved... However the reality of the pressure to be transferred say if you are breach or twins ect will be more intense. You can negate this by planning your birth with the head of Midwifery and your MW before-hand - this is, afterall, something you can plan for.

You might be surprised at the number of variances of norm they are happy to accommodate - There margins are NOT as narrow as you might think. For instance, my stand alone birth centre, will happily accommodate (and have to, on maternal insistence), twins, twins in the pool, high BMI, anaemia, GD, etc, etc.. they “can’t” refuse you - they can only advise.

But it still comes down to personal choice, and what you are comfortable with - Things like, if your choice is to have an epidural, you generally won't be able to get that at a birth centre (some attached to a hospital with an Obst unit, it will be possible to arrange), and if you have clinical signs of PE - your "choice" still can't be limited, but I doubt that many of us will choose to go for that, considering limits in resources of the location. But as long as you are aware of any limits in the resources of a certain choice, you can really do whatever you like. Same applies to home, birth centre or hospital.

Sorry I know that most of us know the limits - but it is still important to note that the law and your rights are the same. We are ALL allowed to go against medical advice.. even if it is on medical "territory" the legal duty of care is the same.. and your own responsibility towards your own health is the same.

Some women who face “difficulties” with the medical system with certain medical conditions and who have utter confidence in their bodies, take the option, against medical advice, of going out-side the system and opt for a homebirth (either with or without a independent MW), because of the reasons of the pressure the “system” puts on them - and their visualisation of their birth has been effectively ruined by pressure - this is a sad situation, but a very understandable one, as the element control is placed firmly back with the mother… and that is where it should be at all times. Regardless.
XxX

Thanks that was really helpful I was tested for PE when i was in triage in labour but it was negative. What do they do if you have high BP at home or in a birthing centre?

 

[moomin_troll]

i dont think have to say anything just yet.
at my booking appointment i said i wanted a homebirth then she said i might be high risk and still at 20 weeks the mw hasnt bothered asking about my homebirth...but maybe shes just rubbish who knows

 

[caro103]

i was adament i was gonna give birth in the hospital at the booking appt, even though my midwife suggested hb then! and when I was all like, na, hospital for me, she just said 'we'll discuss it later'. My hb wasn't officially 'booked' until I hit 36wks and even now I can change my mind at any point xx

Edit: oh and I didn't change my mind until just over 20wks about home birthing, so you've loads of time yet x

 

[LuckyD]

Sorry I am a few pages behind (stupid different time zones!) but wanted to add my baby is stubbornly on the right side as well, and has been for weeks and weeks....I have been doing all sorts of things to try and get it to switch but it just doesn't want to, and now it's quite deeply engaged. Oh well, maybe it has a reason it wants to be there!

I had my 39 week appt yesterday, my midwife and the student mw came to my house which was nice, and while they were here I started getting some tightenings which I haven't had before....tightenings and cramps have continued all night, could well be nothing but it is the first time I have felt anything like this - fingers crossed!!

 

[Blah11]

What are you girls reasons for wanting a HB? My main one is Amelie. I want her here with me (although prob popping in and out). The thought of being hours and hours away from her fills me with dread

 

[Blah11]

Not long now LuckyD

 

[LuckyD]

Not long now LuckyD

Thanks hun! Hopefully not!!

 

[moomin_troll]

wooo luckyd i hope this is it for u, keep bouncing on a birthing ball lol

my reason for a hb is, my local hospital is terrible, always in the news for killing people. i had a awful time there with zane and was treated so badly.
with this birth seen as i wasnt planning on being in this country i want it to be as relaxing and as enjoyable as i can make it.
and i think being in my own home and being able to sleep in my own bed that night will be good and then zane can see baby sooner.

i wont be having him in the house if i go into labour during the day tho as he will just want to get in the water with me

 

[PeanutBean]

Good luck lucky!

I planned a homebirth with Byron and it very much didn't pan out that way - a combination of my ignorance about the implications of my waters breaking first and about my rights together with misinformation and a little gentle malpractice on behalf of the MWs. It's made me even more determined this time. I think my original reasons were pretty much well why not? I knew of no reason to be in a hospital and it's nicer at home.

Update on my own MW situation. I saw my MW briefly this evening and mentioned that the other MW had been happy about the homebirth so I needed to set a date to get the birth kit dropped off but she was all cagey about it. Asked when I'm seeing the consultant MW (Thu) and that things would be more certain after that. They are certain now thank you very much. I'm really surprised she is being like this now having been nothing but supportive in the past and not even raising an eyelid at the GBS swab at Christmas. Besides all of which this appointment is meant to be a debrief not a permission asking exercise.

 

[Anababe]

Fingers crossed LuckyD

Blah11 you have loads of time yet to make a decision, my MW wouldnt even discuss my birthing options, especially home birth until I was 35 weeks, even then after I had insisted it was what I wanted they kept writing in my notes 'considering' Home Birth. I had a quick appointment at home at 36 weeks to go through risks etc and my HB Kit was dropped off at 37 weeks.. thats it.

Saying that, it has changed in my notes now from saying 'considering' and 'hospital birth advised' to last week 'Simone is very Adamant she wants a HB' I think they got the message eventually

I planned a Home Birth with my last and all was fine right up until I started labouring and although I did the whole labour at home I got a bit nervous towards the end and went in to deliver in the Birth Suite. I wish id stayed home now for all of it as it was only when I got there that I started to lose a bit of control and ended up being pushed into having pain relief I didnt really want or need (Pethadine) so hopefully all will go to plan and ill be at home this time, and even if I do get a bit wobbly ive got my lovely doula to remind me I can do it!

I feel like im on a deadline to have this baby.. hit my 39th week and get people asking me in the most shocked tone 'oh have you not had her yet' I even got asked yesterday if I really should be thinking about going in to be induced now.. I was a little confused as I havent even got to my EDD yet

 

[Bournefree]

The idea of “booking” is sometimes slightly ludicrous.. Afterall there isn’t ever going to be a time and place where you give birth, (unless you decide to have a planned c-section), you can only give an indication, and that indication, can and does help your health professionals plan ahead for staffing levels to accommodate you and give you the right information. It is also very important to know that you can decide where you give birth right into labour. So for you - it certainly helps you plan, but in reality, you can change your mind at any point. So don’t worry about being “booked” in… it doesn’t matter, what matters is what you think you would like to do - both now, and at the time.

Blah - if you have an abnormally high BP, with (importantly) the other signs of PE, before or in labour, then any options should be discussed with you. (and I would recommend researching it). The birth centre MWs and at home the MWs have duty to tell you of the limitations they can give you in your circumstances at the time. It is still upto you to decide what you are comfortable with. Drugs will be limited in both these locations to bring your BP down, and generally post birth, mother usually returns to normal - So an EMC-section could be indicated, which is why I don’t think you would find many women who would insist on staying at home or birth centre care in this situation. A previous history of high BP, doesn’t have to limit your choices, as every pregnancy is very different, esp in terms of PE.

What IS wonderful with a homebirth, is that you are going to get one to one care. Your MWs are there only for you - you are not going to find that they have to leave to attend another women (or several) in labour. They can reassure you, keep an eye on you, and act quicker if needs be - this level of care isn’t something (although best practice), that you are likely to have in most birth centres or hospitals unfortunatly
XxX

 

[Bournefree]

Why did I decide to have a homebirth? -

well with my first it just sort of creped up on me. The more I looked into it the more I was convinced that birth was normal.. dispite the mordern horror stories people like to barrage around, and my chances of having normal birth were greatly increased by even planning one. I also had faith (with occational natural wobbles) that all would be ok, with me an baby. I also know I would get the best care... plus I couldn't get out of my mind that I'm a mamal, and the ideal place for mamals to give birth is quite, safe and secuded.

With my second I'm planning now - I just couldn't imagine doing it, or planning it anyother way. It was an amazing and totally forfilling experience that brings a big smile to my face when ever I think about my daughters birth. I wasn't in any pain, I was happy and comfortable... and I can't wait to do it again, all of it - honestly! Just the amazing freedom and sensaton of birthing and then being all tucked up in bed with my family.. Wonderful - it could become seriously addictive! ;-)
XxX

 

[Rmar]

I walked into a hospital, on Monday, for a placement (student midwife) and was suprised at the rooms. The other midwife mentioned that all of the medical equipment is put away in the cupboards to make the room feel more comfortable. It was just a blank room with a chair on the side and a single bed in the middle. I did not feel comfortable, to me. To make it stranger, the room with a giant tub was filled with birthing balls, beanbags, stools and other birthing things. Apparently hardly any women request the birthing equipment and there are about 2 women each year that labour in the tub. All I could think was "Of course, it is all locked away in a room where they don't even know it is there to use." I reckon more women would use these things if they were out in the open.

I had a call from my doctor's receptionist, yesterday, saying my Hb was low. I'm not sure how low as I didn't ask but I will find out, on Monday. She just told me to stop by the health store and pick up some iron supplements as the baby is taking all it needs and leaving me with not as much as I used to. It didn't freak me out at all. Just seems like taking a little bit of iron a day for a few months and all is fine.

 

[BrandiCanucks]

What are you girls reasons for wanting a HB?

My two children were both born at the hospital and I had a very negative experience for both of them. When my daughter was born, I had an epidural and began to throw up. I pushed her out as I was throwing up and in the process received 86 stitches. She came out so quickly that the doctor didn't catch her. We were released two days later and because the nurses didn't check my tear properly, I was back in the hospital on the same day I was released because I had 4 infections. While we were there for the two days, the nurses, huge formula pushers, refused to help me get my daughter to latch on to the breast. Instead, they wen't behind my back and told my husband I was starving my daughter and asked his permission to give her formula. She never latched properly and I finally gave up pumping after 3 months and 4 different breast pumps.

My son's birth was a little better and we were hoping to leave the same day but he ended up in the NICU for 7 days. He was hungry on his way out and rather than wait for breastmilk, he swallowed my mucus plug and stopped breathing when he was 3 hours old. I'm sure you've heard of unassisted homebirths before, but how about an unassisted hospital birth? Yup...the nurse broke my water at 11:00am, 7cm, and left the room to call my obstetrician and my son was born 15 minutes later. My doctor never made it.

The NICU nurses were wonderful to my son. The L&D nurses were horrible. I was GBS positive with him and they sent me home in "false labour" just 4 hours before he was born. They were completely incompetent. There was one NICU nurse who thought she was being nice and fed him formula one night. I had just breastfed an hour beforehand and was sleeping. Despite the no-formula note on his chart, she felt it better to let me sleep and to feed him a bottle of formula. She made up for it in the end by allowing me to spend the rest of the week in their family bed on the ward until Isaiah went home. Normally, they only let you stay there the night before your child leaves the NICU.

I am tired of the negative experiences with the hospital. I hate the local hospital here. I laboured most of the time at home with my son so I know I am capable of handling it, and once my waters are broken, I deliver pretty quickly from there. I feel very comfortable at home and would like to have a positive experience in the comfort of my own home. My midwife completely respects my wishes and has encouraged a homebirth from the very beginning. I had originally opted for a hospital birth given my son's experience, but I really want to birth at home. My only obstacle? My husband. Thankfully, my midwife is amazing and willing to tell him at a certain point that it's too late to transfer. Yay!

 

[gertrude]

blah11 - for me I want a HB as it just seems the best place for me. If I need to transfer I will, but I'm not ill, I associate hospitals with being ill. This is what this body was designed to do.

Now I'm the biggest feminist of anyone I know but even I can't argue this body was built to give birth to babies. I may or may not chose to have those babies but it's still designed to do it. And I firmly believe my body knows what to do. I've got this far by letting it get on and do it's thing and the birth to me is an extension of that.

At home I can have my music on at whatever volume I want, I know where everything is, I don't need to worry about how clean something is or isn't. I like my MW's, and I have a lot of trust in their ability. I feel safe here and I feel that my OH is fully on side too (he wasn't at first).

 

[moomin_troll]

my mil was a mw and i doubt she was a good one because shes a cold bitch so i bet she put afew women off hospital births herself. when i had zane she refered to homebirths as stupid and that i best not be having one....well with zane i hadnt planned one so cant wait for her to ask this time hahahah

i just dont get how a homebirth can be called stupid....we didnt always have hospitals, and u can get at home what most women use at home anyway.

some people are just ignorant