Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[Mark&Annie]

my mil was a mw and i doubt she was a good one because shes a cold bitch

Oh dear! That did make me LOL!

I'd like to have a home birth, mostly because last time it did go so well and smoothly, it seemed pointless being in hospital, all the waiting around and having to stay overnight without my hubbie for no reason other than them doing paperwork! I'm a stones throw from the hospital anyway, which my husband has to be reminded of as he is not really onboard yet, I will have to find some of that hubbie literature!

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I told my mom I was planning a homebirth this time and she goes, "Are you sure you want that? what if the baby swallows your plug like Isaiah did? Won't your baby die?"

Thanks for the support, Mom!

My midwives are aware of the obstacle we faced with my son and will be taking precautions to lessen that risk. They already say it's unlikely to happen again, and even if it were, I'm now trained in CPR, both of my widwives are trained too, and I'm only 5 minutes from the hospital. I have all faith and confidence in both my midwives and my body.

And then there's my husband...the ONLY reason he doesn't want me to have a homebirth:

He hates the smell of amniotic fluid and doesn't want the house to stink like it.

I'm hoping I can convince him to let me have a waterbirth. Either way, I don't leave this house, lol.

 

[moomin_troll]

my husband would of done what i told him i wanted to do because he couldnt stop me lol

i didnt notice a smell from the amniotic fluid lol but i am concern with soaking my floor or sofa when my waters go so going to have to get alot of shower curtains in hahaha

 

[moomin_troll]

my mil was a mw and i doubt she was a good one because shes a cold bitch

Oh dear! That did make me LOL!

I'd like to have a home birth, mostly because last time it did go so well and smoothly, it seemed pointless being in hospital, all the waiting around and having to stay overnight without my hubbie for no reason other than them doing paperwork! I'm a stones throw from the hospital anyway, which my husband has to be reminded of as he is not really onboard yet, I will have to find some of that hubbie literature!

she was also a hv and just as clueless

 

[gertrude]

my mil was a mw and i doubt she was a good one because shes a cold bitch

Oh dear! That did make me LOL!

I'd like to have a home birth, mostly because last time it did go so well and smoothly, it seemed pointless being in hospital, all the waiting around and having to stay overnight without my hubbie for no reason other than them doing paperwork! I'm a stones throw from the hospital anyway, which my husband has to be reminded of as he is not really onboard yet, I will have to find some of that hubbie literature!

the thing that changed my OH's mind was the basic facts - at home I get 2 midwives, at hospital I get to share one with 3/4 other mums. Even he said there could be time when I'm in danger at hospital but no one notices until 30mins/1hr later - that won't happen at home.

I live 10mins from hospital, esp if they're blue lighting - yes there are risks being at home, but there are from being in hospital too (hospital bourne illnesses being one of them!).

I've promised I'll transfer if I need to or if the MW says I need to, but until that point I want to at least try at home

 

[lousielou]

My consultant asked me why I don't want to go to hospital for the birth last time I saw him. I was trying to think about how to word it, when my husband piped up, "Because she's not ill - she's having a baby!" He looked a little taken aback, muttered "Fair enough then" and bid us goodbye

 

[moomin_troll]

My consultant asked me why I don't want to go to hospital for the birth last time I saw him. I was trying to think about how to word it, when my husband piped up, "Because she's not ill - she's having a baby!" He looked a little taken aback, muttered "Fair enough then" and bid us goodbye

hahahahaha amazing!

 

[gertrude]

that's exactly how I feel if I need the medical help then that's the time to go to hospital but until that point it's just a step in the process, like getting a bump, like the swollen ankles, like all the undignified bits of being pregnant I don't need their help through everything automatically

 

[2ndtimeAbz]

My first reasons for having a hb were definately based around comfort and convenience.

I was 20 when I had DD and I felt alternately pushed around and then ignored at hospital, Maddy was back to back and my hind waters went so they broke my waters, stuck me on a drip ( which they put in wrong 1st time!) and flipped me on my back when I was quite happy birthing on my knees, put me in stirrups and I was apparently '1 push away' from them bringing out the forceps.

I hated being on the ward after and Dave having to leave, I'm quite a private person and kept thinking 'they've got us penned up like livestock'. Plus I was sooo hungry and the food was disgusting (I'm not a picky eater at all but quite a foodie) and just felt being there was doing me no good all I wanted was to be at home!

After reading all the stats I convinced hubs that if anything it was safer being at home, like it's said alot here, I'm not ill, I'm giving birth! If anything happens the transfer will be quick. Last time I used G&A and they gave me pethedine at the end (which I didn't even ask for and bloody stupid IMO) so if I'm more relaxed at home I'm sure G&A will do me just fine
Sorry what a ramble!

 

[pinkmonki]

Afternoon ladies

I've been AWOL for a while thanks to various stresses involving work and home life. This has culminated in us having to move house this coming Saturday, right as I hit 37 weeks!

Anyway, moving house has led to me having to change midwifery teams completely and it looks like my home-birth is under threat. (I have an appointment this afternoon so I'll know more later) So, my reason for posting is..

Do you think I'd be completely stupid to go for either an unassisted 'accidental' home-birth or a 'Oh crap it all happened so quickly that it's now too late to move and you must come out' home-birth if they do completely veto it? It's way too late in the day to complain to heads of services and fight officially so if they veto I'll have no choice but to either head to hospital or pick one of the two excuses above and go for it regardless.

My pregnancy has been low-risk, baby is head down and doing well and I'm also a fully qualified nurse so I'm pretty confident that I can deal with emergency situations and I'm not too stupid to not phone an ambulance if anything starts to go awry so I guess I'm just looking for other opinions to see whether I'm making a sensible choice or whether I'm taking a huge hormonal based risk?

 

[gertrude]

I guess for me pinkmonki, that despite your skills, you aren't in the best position to know when something is going wrong (you won't be objective as you're the person involved)

I'd really push for them to agree to it, what do you think will be the reasons they won't? If you go in fully armed with fact rather than emotion you might (hopefully!) be surprised

 

[pinkmonki]

I guess for me pinkmonki, that despite your skills, you aren't in the best position to know when something is going wrong (you won't be objective as you're the person involved)

I'd really push for them to agree to it, what do you think will be the reasons they won't? If you go in fully armed with fact rather than emotion you might (hopefully!) be surprised

That's true, although I do disagree that I wouldn't be in a position to know something was going wrong. This is not my first home-birth.

I know the reasons why they're baulking, it's because I am already very close to 'term' and nothing has been set up by this team for me. It's not something I can arm myself with facts about, the fact is that I am 3 days off 37 weeks and basically starting from scratch with midwifery care. It's not that I can't have one because of risk factors, that's why I'm debating an unplanned.

 

[caro103]

hi pink, I'd say argue for a planned home birth now. Then take the next decision from there if you get an absolute no way, as it really doesn't sound like they've any good reason to refuse you one! good luck.

Ladies just wanted to say, make sure you at least try out how to attach the hosepipe for birthing pool to the taps! me and DH thought we had it figured out ages ago but had never actually run water through it. Tried just now and the seal on the taps was terrible, more water was spraying over the floor than down the hose , so have re-thought what we're gonna do and it'll have to be from the downstairs loo taps and seperate cold then hot water into the pool, not ideal but better than flooding my kitchen! xxx

 

[Bournefree]

I know that you feel your homebirth is under risk, and one of natural responses is to take your self out of the system, so you feel like you have the control back.. but... that has to be the last resort, and...

There is plenty of time for them (and it is their responsibility to pull there fingers out.. not you), to make the community MWs aware you're intending on having a homebirth and you expect to be attended.

I moved with my first pregnancy at about 37wks, we had everything arranged.. including consultant appointments (as I had GD), and home visit with the senior MW and my community midwife within 4 days. They CAN do this - they are OBLIGATED to do this!.. and if they don't they will be liable.

This makes me so angry and sad! Why on earth do they do this to women, it is utterly reprehensible!

The government agrees, the law agrees.. why not provide the service which has better outcomes, and is cheaper?!

The House of commons select committee of health ninth report comments and agrees this is "wholly unacceptable"
Full document at: https://www.parliament.the-stationery-office.co.uk/pa/cm200203/cmselect/cmhealth/796/79605.htm

"The commonest classic ploy is to inform the woman towards the end of her pregnancy (usually around 36 weeks) that the staff cannot guarantee, or will not be able to supply, a midwife because of staff shortages, with hints that she would be "selfish" to try to take the midwife from the labour ward. It has now become a game of brinksmanship, with women supported by us hanging on and informing the Trust that they will give birth at home, come what may, and will hold them responsible if they fail to supply care. We deal with at least one such case a week and often more. In the end a midwife is invariably supplied, but by now she is seen by the woman as representing a domineering, antagonistic system, which does not understand or support normal birth.[45]
(committee’s response follows)
60. We regard this treatment of women particularly at such an important stage of their pregnancy as wholly unacceptable. If trusts have staff shortages they should call on the services of agency staff and independent midwives so that women in hospital and at home do not have to face the prospect of not being properly supported in labour. The Department should ensure that via a fast-track complaint or other procedure women experiencing any pressure like this should have an immediate source of help for the situation to be resolved without delay."

I'm right behind you!

Please let me know how you get on - remember you don't have to justify your right to a homebirth, because you are low risk and you are aware of all the risks associated with child birth - you only have to say that you WILL be labouring and birthing at home, and expect them to attend. or to provide agency staff if they don't have the staff in place.

All my love to you - keep strong, I know you don't want to fight, but this is so important; and together, we can help you achieve the most wonderful birth experience that you and every women is entitled to.
XxX

 

[KandyKinz]

Today is my official by ov due date. I'm really not feeling terribly eager to have baby RIGHT NOW...and somewhat feel guilty for not wanting to get things rolling... No decisions have been made re: the house we want and I HATE this up in the air feeling. The only thing that is making want to go into labur now is the post dates battle ahead of me. The the thought of having a bpp on friday is bothering me and I'm paranoid they will skew their findings to facilitate the hospitals early induction policy... especially when they read I have refused an ob consult... silly I know or is it? To make matters worse my sons dsi browser incapabilities is making brushing up on postdates and fetal surveillance management and research difficult.

 

[pinkmonki]

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement Bournefree, it means a lot

I just got back from my appointment, and I really had to reiterate over and over that I would be having my home-birth regardless of time issues. They finally agreed that it would be possible as long as I get the OK from a consultant, as they don't want to go on call for me without his/her say so.

I am now awaiting a call tomorrow to give me the time and date for my urgent appointment with the consultant so fingers crossed it'll simply be a formality rather than a fight. Either way, I know that because I'm low-risk they really have no grounds to refuse so I will fight my case.

Now, fingers crossed that Saturday's move doesn't set anything off haha!

 

[rachiedata]

Was it written in your notes at this appointment monki? If something does happen before the consultant arrives then you could stay at home, play stupid and say you thought it had all been arranged and the consultant was a formality (which it is)... but glad you stood your ground! It's never too late to fight. That does my head it, whether hospital or work or whatever situation - if you ask someone to do something, and they put it back on you, when no, they just need to work harder/faster to get it done!!

 

[Bournefree]

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement Bournefree, it means a lot

I just got back from my appointment, and I really had to reiterate over and over that I would be having my home-birth regardless of time issues. They finally agreed that it would be possible as long as I get the OK from a consultant, as they don't want to go on call for me without his/her say so.

I am now awaiting a call tomorrow to give me the time and date for my urgent appointment with the consultant so fingers crossed it'll simply be a formality rather than a fight. Either way, I know that because I'm low-risk they really have no grounds to refuse so I will fight my case.

Now, fingers crossed that Saturday's move doesn't set anything off haha!

Sounds encouraging enough! Like you did - All you have to do is to keep saying the same thing - it's the best and oldest way to argue a point ;-)

Bit bizzare about the consultant appointment? There isn't any need for you to see a consultant is there? Surely even your consultant is going to think what a waste of time that will be,seeing a perfectly well pregnant women? It not quite in there job description.. they are there for abnormalities of pregnancy and birth.. and you should ask them IF he/she has EVER seen a normal labour and birth - let alone a homebirth?!
Anyhow, jump some hoops.. but don't let them make you jump to many though, keep it all on simple evidence on how YOU are presenting, not just the risks associated with any pregnancy. You can take control of that appointment anyway - I did with my consultant, and got her to write me a nice letter, saying that although it was policy I shoud be induced and birth a X hospital (because of the GD), she didn't see any reason why I wouldn't have a sucessful homebirth - which was brilliant!

Good luck with the move!! Keep us updated
XxX

 

[pinkmonki]

It wasn't written in my notes.. In fact my notes just had my BP, baby's presentation and FHRH and that's it.. Not even a signature!

I don't really understand the need for the appointment with the consultant either, unless they think the 'big bad doctor' can persuade me that a hospital birth is the way to go. The fact that I've had a previous problem free home-birth is my ace card really, as much as they'd like to refuse me (that much is obvious) they really can't under any medical grounds, so I can only assume they think a consultant will intimidate me. I worked under enough consultants to know better than that! Hah!

Anyway, the plan of action is to play ball (after a fashion) and meet with the consultant next week, and see where we go from there. I'm feeling somewhat more positive to be honest, purely because I know they cannot refuse me on medical grounds so the consultant really has no choice but to OK it.

There was one huge positive from meeting the midwife though, home-birth aside, I asked about their policy regarding going over dates and she told me they're more than happy to let me go two weeks post dates without question, then as long as all is medically well, to let me go as long as it takes and that I can absolutely refuse induction Nice to know I won't have to fight for that too should the situation arise.

 

[gertrude]

ah sorry pinkmonki I didn't realise it wouldn't be your first! ignore me

in other news, todays MW appt was all a bit shit BP up, some protein in my wee (though she thinks it is a UTI) so thats gone off for testing, baby still measuring big (though now only 1 week)

have got a consultant appt on monday to see about baby size and to see if they will "approve" my HB, as it looks like I'm on for a 9lb+ baby, I'm measuring 37cm atm - though tbh I was 8lb, my brother was 9lb and I'm 5'9", size 9 feet and am not a small woman - at no point did I think this baby would be anything other than big. I didn't say that they couldn't stop me if I wanted one as I was so bloody distracted with all the other bits

I feel utterly deflated seems like everything is about to go tits up I've had SUCH an easy pregnancy so far I guess it had to have a shit bit in it

in other news today baby seems to be moving constantly - and now I've managed to scare myself with things about baby having got caught in their cord

I think I'm off to bed and let a new day arrive