Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[lozzy21]

Iv sat and read the whole thread. I want a homebirth, i just need to get pregnant first

 

[BabyHaines]

Iv sat and read the whole thread. I want a homebirth, i just need to get pregnant first

Nice to have you on board honey
Good luck TTC. Be patient and don't give up, and in the meantime feel free to support and be supported by us lot. Some of us are nearing our due dates, some are newly pregnant and some have already had homebirths and are helping to guide us, so you'll fit right in

Em xx

 

[Mervs Mum]

Morning Girls!

Do you think it would be useful to put which of the members are hoping to have first babies at home? I'm just thinking for encouragement for people lurking and wondering?

 

[Bournefree]

Huge congratulations Hayley!!!! Enjoy you baby's first few weeks, they are magical!

Mervsmum - you would be a brilliant doula!! What a fab idea! I have to admit, my OH mentioned it to me about becoming a MW, so it has me thinking about going back to uni too.. But I don’t think for a while - I’ve got this great mummy job, even though the pay sucks!

Welcome Lozzi - fingers crossed you get pregnant!!! When were you thinking to start trying to conceive? How exciting!!!

OHHH.. That programme!!.. There’s just so much I want to say - but I’ll try to keep it short!
Mr blue glove - was he just a bit moronic!! I can understand why there are stories of women swearing at their partners.. I would have done, if he was mine - glad that she wasn’t aware of what he was doing. Though, I bet she has some choice words for him now!! I’m guessing that he was stressed, and was “dealing” with it.. in his own strange way!
The whole monitoring thing, and the MW shouting at her to get her to push!!!!?? Well I really think if the monitor hadn’t of been there, my thoughts are that the babies heart rate wouldn’t have dropped so very low. Did you see how terrified she was at one point - and was going to cry. It almost made me cry for her. I can’t imagine experiencing birth in this way (it was a total world apart from my birth)
That type of fear, directs blood away from the uterus.. and can cause ischemia; the uterus, can latterly go white and freeze up, as the blood is directed away - stopping contractions.. No wonder she wasn’t feeling the urge to push, but had too. It starts up a vicious cycle. She just needed to be relaxed, be in control herself, and fully supported from the beginning. I thought she was a lovely lady - she was all apologetic, every time she called for the mw.. I just kept thinking “come on lady, you have nothing to apologise for!!!” Did you notice at the end, the scalpel and blood on the bed - they had given her an episiotomy!!! Ready for forceps, when she didn’t need it!!!? Very sad.

However, the lady who had the planned c-section, had a clear need to be in a hospital environment - but she was also terrified and shaking with fear when her baby was born - perhaps she could have been reassured and prepared more.

On a side note, babies cry when they are in pain and distressed.. So they don't have to cry after birth. We are not in the 50’s, where they used to hang them upside-down, and give them a slap on the bum! - my little one didn’t cry. All she wanted to do was to be peaceful after the birth much like her mummy!

 

[Bournefree]

Morning Girls!

Do you think it would be useful to put which of the members are hoping to have first babies at home? I'm just thinking for encouragement for people lurking and wondering?

Yeah!! Great idea. I'm sure that people that come across it would find it encouraging to see how many first or second, or even 3 time mums are HBing. Also - sorry more work for you - how about which ones are water, and which are terra firma.
I'm sure it would help expectant mummies buddy up for support.
xx

 

[lozzy21]

Iv sat and read the whole thread. I want a homebirth, i just need to get pregnant first

Nice to have you on board honey
Good luck TTC. Be patient and don't give up, and in the meantime feel free to support and be supported by us lot. Some of us are nearing our due dates, some are newly pregnant and some have already had homebirths and are helping to guide us, so you'll fit right in

Em xx

Iv got an unknown wait untill i TTC, could be a year could be 6 so im hoping to go to uni to become a midwife while i am waiting.

I hate that birth is over medicalised. Women have been having babys well for ever yet its only been in the past 50 odd years that we need to be told how to use our bodys. I also hate hospitals. Hospitals are where you go when you are ill and unless she develops some complications pregnant women are not ill, Its not a illness that needs to be cured which is how most doctors and some midwifes deal with it.

Rant over lol

 

[Bournefree]

Iv got an unknown wait untill i TTC, could be a year could be 6 so im hoping to go to uni to become a midwife while i am waiting.

I hate that birth is over medicalised. Women have been having babys well for ever yet its only been in the past 50 odd years that we need to be told how to use our bodys. I also hate hospitals. Hospitals are where you go when you are ill and unless she develops some complications pregnant women are not ill, Its not a illness that needs to be cured which is how most doctors and some midwifes deal with it.

Rant over lol

Well put!!! xxx

 

[Mervs Mum]

I've started to edit the due dates with the ones I know. Let me know if this is your 1st baby and if it's not, which number it is and if it's your first HB - eg I'm baby #3 First HB

 

[lozzy21]

I also hate the fact that if i were to have my baby late at night, i would be sent of to the ward and my OH would be sent off home, I cant sleep with out my OH even if i am shatterd. That would be my idea of hell

 

[urbanbumpkin]

That is one of our major issue with a hospital/birth centre birth, lozzy. Neither of us can bear the idea of him having to go home and leave us both, it just seems so wrong.

If I do end up transferring for any reason, I'm hoping to get out of there as soon as possible!

 

[Mervs Mum]

We found that VERY hard too. I had my last baby at 9.16pm and by the time we were bathed changed, tea'd and toasted, it was about midnight and he had to go home. I laid there awake listening to a woman screaming all night and he laid awake texting me and was back at the birth centre with my other daughter by 8am. It woudl have been so nice for him to get into bed with us that night......gosh I cant wait for that.

 

[NattieLou]

Congratulations, Hayley! I'm sorry your birth didn't go how you'd envisaged, but so happy for you that you have your healthy baby girl in your arms.

Lisa, it's first baby and dry land for me. I agree with the others - I think you'd make an amazing doula.

My husband having to leave us overnight in the hospital is a major issue for us too. Just hate the thought of that so much.

I was tempted to watch the One Born Every Minute programme last night, but decided not to in the end. I try to stay away from negative birth stories to help me maintain my confidence and a positive frame of mind. Sometimes I slip though. I'm still tempted to watch it online. I think I'll wait till after my own birth experience and watch the series then. But I really want to see it NOW!

 

[Mervs Mum]

I think Nat if you watch it it will either frighten you or just confirm why you want a HB!

I commented in a thread in 3rd tri....last night I was just appauled but this morning I had time to think a bit before replying!

This is what I said:

I am sure it is representative of the view of a MW working in a hospital or labour ward BUT what I dont think it shows is a balanced view of child birth. I suppose it depends what they are trying to portray. If it's how busy labour wards are and how little time MWs have for the mum's at times then yes, it did a good job. But my guess is that the audience will be mostly mum's and mum's to be wondering what it's really like. I think it just taps in to the negative side of child birth that the media seem happy to perpetuate. Showing it as a medicalised 'problem' to be dealt with and that we should be scared of because it's frightening and dangerous. It makes women believe that they cant do it. That they need someone to tell them how to do it right OR ELSE!
Sure it's not a glamorous carry on - birth IS raw and bloody and yes women do wail and carry on but it's not ALWAYS like that. No wonder we have so many women thinking that c sections are a better option than being yelled at to PUSH! or being told 'it NEEDS to hurt!' and 'your baby NEEDS to come out' like she was some how doing a shit job at giving birth.

I really hope next week is better. The trailer for next week alone tells me that this is going one way.....there was a couple of nice images of babies being kissed and one being born without screaming in the background but the whole thing was interspersed with screaming!! Which just reimforces the fear in women. And the fear that they some how cant or wont be able to do it, is just the thing that makes them end up a screaming mess. Please let us see a woman confident in her body doing what should come naturally but we are told cant because, what do we know.....

*gets off soap box*

 

[kelly342000]

I've started to edit the due dates with the ones I know. Let me know if this is your 1st baby and if it's not, which number it is and if it's your first HB - eg I'm baby #3 First HB

this is my first baby.
that awful, awful prog last night just confirmed exactly why i want a home birth!

 

[lozzy21]

I watched it and apart from making my broody it too made me realise thats not how i want my brith to be. I dont want people contsantly telling me to push cos i can tell you now what my responce would be and it would not be plesant!

 

[BabyHaines]

Very well put Lisa!! It was a frightening portrayal of labour and hospital. I found it very 'typically channel 4' IYKWIM?? A kind of Big Brother style.
My hubby has always (very matter of factly) said that labour is the most natural thing in the world. He always says how we are 'animals' and our bodies are programmed to deal with it. He was telling a friend the other day the reasons we want a HB and saying 'in the wild, a woman would be like a dog or cat and would crawl off somewhere quiet to labour alone, not be shoved on a hard bed under a strip light with legs akimbo!!'
Well....how right is he (maybe he should be a MW!! Haha)

Lisa - you'd be a fab doula go for it!!

And I am: 1st baby - water birth with community MW's and hubby xxxx

 

[EternalRose]

Morning Ladies, I am 30 weeks today It was a personal milestone of mine, never thought I would get this far. I have known Ive been pregnant since 3 weeks, so it seems like ages ago.

Welcome to the thread Lozzy!

x x

 

[EternalRose]

I think Nat if you watch it it will either frighten you or just confirm why you want a HB!

I commented in a thread in 3rd tri....last night I was just appauled but this morning I had time to think a bit before replying!

This is what I said:

I am sure it is representative of the view of a MW working in a hospital or labour ward BUT what I dont think it shows is a balanced view of child birth. I suppose it depends what they are trying to portray. If it's how busy labour wards are and how little time MWs have for the mum's at times then yes, it did a good job. But my guess is that the audience will be mostly mum's and mum's to be wondering what it's really like. I think it just taps in to the negative side of child birth that the media seem happy to perpetuate. Showing it as a medicalised 'problem' to be dealt with and that we should be scared of because it's frightening and dangerous. It makes women believe that they cant do it. That they need someone to tell them how to do it right OR ELSE!
Sure it's not a glamorous carry on - birth IS raw and bloody and yes women do wail and carry on but it's not ALWAYS like that. No wonder we have so many women thinking that c sections are a better option than being yelled at to PUSH! or being told 'it NEEDS to hurt!' and 'your baby NEEDS to come out' like she was some how doing a shit job at giving birth.

I really hope next week is better. The trailer for next week alone tells me that this is going one way.....there was a couple of nice images of babies being kissed and one being born without screaming in the background but the whole thing was interspersed with screaming!! Which just reimforces the fear in women. And the fear that they some how cant or wont be able to do it, is just the thing that makes them end up a screaming mess. Please let us see a woman confident in her body doing what should come naturally but we are told cant because, what do we know.....

*gets off soap box*

That was a great reply Lisa.. x

 

[EternalRose]

Very well put Lisa!! It was a frightening portrayal of labour and hospital. I found it very 'typically channel 4' IYKWIM?? A kind of Big Brother style.
My hubby has always (very matter of factly) said that labour is the most natural thing in the world. He always says how we are 'animals' and our bodies are programmed to deal with it. He was telling a friend the other day the reasons we want a HB and saying 'in the wild, a woman would be like a dog or cat and would crawl off somewhere quiet to labour alone, not be shoved on a hard bed under a strip light with legs akimbo!!'
Well....how right is he (maybe he should be a MW!! Haha)

Lisa - you'd be a fab doula go for it!!

And I am: 1st baby - water birth with community MW's and hubby xxxx

You husband is right though, 'legs akimbo"

 

[Shifter]

Very well put Lisa.

Not wanting DH to have to leave us alone over night was the main reason we chose a home birth. Having him turfed out 2 hours after my surgery and being left all alone on a dark ward (had my own room, which was good but v lonely) was hell, absolute hell. I could never go through that again. Next time we are hiring an IM so chances of transfer are going to be much slimmer and if we do transfer we have the reassurance of knowing that it is for a genuine medical reason. But if it does go that way again there is no way DH will be leaving my side. We will discharge ourselves AMA if necessary.