Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[moomin_troll]

i think we all do it about something
i get my back up when people insinuate(sp?) that i didnt try hard enough to breastfeed zane.

on a positive note i have my meeting tomo with my possible doula i think it will just make it seem even more real :S lol

 

[PeanutBean]

Good luck with the doula moomin.

I'm up and down like a yoyo. One minute relaxed and positive, the next irritable and fed up! Got the mw on Tue and I just don't want to see her. Did I already mention this today......?.....

 

[rachiedata]

Definitely food for thought there about epis Rmar. To tie in with what's been said about body vs. mind, science vs. 'floaty' things (no better way to put it really!), it is a combination of attitude to pain as well as physical relief that gets us all through it. Rather than go in with the attitude that we have no control over our own bodies and we are helpless spectators in labour, we should all be aware that what's going on in the mind affects the body and vice versa... of course I'm preaching to the choir here. I wouldn't be disappointed if after a long, hard labour then I needed to have an epi - I would be more disappointed if I thought I hadn't exhausted the possibilities to help myself mentally to overcome the pain eg. with hypno. Yes, it will be painful and bloody hard work, but science and logic (I'm a lapsed physiologist BTW, a similar gang we are on here) tell me that if I don't prepare myself - if I were to be one of these women who just turn up at hospital and expect to "be delivered" of my baby - then I'll be in for pain and disappointment.

 

[Jenniflower]

I do not like that article at all. I would like to know if the person writing that had actually experienced a contraction. Not to mention like chuck said, they tell you to let them know when there is a contraction so they can stay still for a few while you go through it. I know from a personal level the pain was so intense that no matter what I did it just would not go away. I could lay there and be still while I was being monitored and I could damn well be still for all of 10 min while they pricked me but that didn't take the pain away. Just because I was silent doesn't mean I was fine. In fact it worse during those times. It felt better to moan and sway than to relax and stay quiet.

My point is that person has no bloody clue what that women is going through to stay still. And quietness and stillness does not a good pregnancy make.

Chuck... I hadn't realised your spinal situation was like that. I could really empahize with you while reading that. For me going into theatre was the scariest part. They make your partner leave you and they expect you to shift onto this teeny tiny bed whilst your epi is most definitely not working. I remember getting told off for kicking and swinging at a few people. In the end it was too much for me and I passed out. The next thing I knew I had tingly feet and a big blue curtain was up haha. So yea I wanted to give you a big hug and say how much I'm praying for you and your baby to have a birth experience you deserve.

Edit: rereading the above, I sound quite harsh. Sorry I didn't mean for it to come out like that. Talk about getting your back up. Lol

 

[chuck]

Thanks Jenni. We both deserve to get better next time around no matter how we do it.

I do remember the only time I 'lost it' was when I was told I was finally going to have to go to theatre and that I would need a spinal (I guess I was still hoping I would get to 10cm and somehow push)- I kicked, thrashed, cried and screamed a bit. It must have been horrible for my husband to see I feel bad on his behalf but I had spent so much time that day worrying on his behalf!

I do know that was the only time I really let go and it all took over me I remember closing my eyes thrashing about and swearing (hubby pleaded with me to calm down) and I just yelled 'let me fucking cry arrrghhhh' the idea of having to have another needle rammed in my back with everything I had just gone through in the last hour, and the anesthetist telling me to shut up ergh. After being man handled onto another bed and taken away from my husband I was sat on the edge of that bed sobbing and trying to curl up and stay still only to suddenly be pulled down onto the bed as it was done and I could feel nothing normal below my boobs and the curtain was raised and the ordeal of the baby removal began.

The epi by contrast was calm collected and easy (well the curling over part wasn't) it was done I was chatted to and I could still feel my body and move the spinal was just so final.

That article hits me in 2 ways, a lot of it is correct - the hard facts about epi's and how people choose them over choosing to try, but I dont think the writer has experiences a traumatic or even difficult labour.

Yes up to a point we can all relax, calm down and deal with it, but we all have our tipping point and for some people that point is much furthur down the line than others.

Jenni your story amazes me every time I think about it as you did so much and got so far and worked so hard not to give up and give in to fear of it all, it was only when things got to the point you mentioned that things were too much. You are a stronger woman than me and that should never leave you. You did the most amazing thing without giving in at the first hurdle.

 

[Mervs Mum]

That article actually resonated with me both as a woman who has had an epidural and those things said to her and from supporting women having one and who have had those (and less tactful) things said to them too. I guess it's like anything, it really depends on your own experiences as to your take on things.

 

[moomin_troll]

i met my possible doula today

she was lovely and very positive about the things im kind of looking for with my labour and birth.
the reason i was looking into hypnobirthing was to get me breathing as i held my breath with zane but she says instead of paying out for classes i can get the same effect from normal breathing which she would make me do lol

she also seems positive about me having a home birth concidering how fast mine was with zane and that pushing didnt take long.

shes advised me to look for other doulas but there doesnt seem to be anyone else in my area lol so ive got a week to decide but i think its safe to say i will be using a doula as my mum and sister wont be much use to me on the day

 

[sam#3]

Glad you found someone you are happy with x

 

[Mervs Mum]

Brilliant news! A lot of the kinds of things covered in your antenatal prep with your doula are very similar to those covered in hypnobirthing classes. If it's the doula I think it I you'll be in amazingly fantastic hands.

 

[moomin_troll]

Brilliant news! A lot of the kinds of things covered in your antenatal prep with your doula are very similar to those covered in hypnobirthing classes. If it's the doula I think it I you'll be in amazingly fantastic hands.

yeah its the doula u think it is i mentioned that i got her name from you lol

she is lovely and i dont think i need to look for anyone else, altho that and there doesnt seem to be anyone else hahaha

i already feel like a doula is the right step for me as my sister will be sat in a corner saying omg and my mum would just mouth off if the mw wasnt being good with me where as having her there will be a weight lifted and i get the support i no i will need.

the birth seems far to real now tho lol

 

[lousielou]

The birth will be here before you know it hun! So pleased you've found someone you're comfortable and happy with!

 

[moomin_troll]

the thought of giving birth is still terrifying me because i think im still worried about needing to go hospital

corey needs to get out somehow lol and i really want to meet him so ive got to make myself believe that i will get my home water birth as there is no reason that i wont

 

[Bournefree]

So pleased you feel confident in your doula Moomin.

Oh Caro… Congratulations! What wonderful pictures! Hope you and Alex are doing well at the moment.

Lou and Pink hang on in there - It’s a great idea to cut yourself off from the constant and insensitive texts and calls from family and well-wishers.

Chuck - are you and your family are feeling better? - that picture of Dewi asleep is brilliant! Really put a smile on my face!

Peanut - wait your turn, your not even got to EDD yet! ;-) It’s really interesting and well, cool, you are finding the positive thoughts helping you.

Great to catch up. Sorry I’m not been on so much (comb of rubbish connections, and days away).

Has anyone got any plans for Easter, execpt having babies of course!? We’ll visiting all the family next week. So looking forward to the OH having some time off, so we can all be together - weekends have become so precious! This last Sat my idiot (as I like to call him) decided that swimming in the sea at 9am in April was fine… he screamed like a little girl, he just couldn‘t get out fast enough!! Hahahahaha - Bronwyn thought daddy was very funny!

At least he is doing a great job of keeping my mind off all this Home-birth-fight stuff! It is becoming intolerable! I just feel as though I’m going round in circles with unsatisfactory answers from my Trust. They are only giving me wishy-washy answers, and I just don’t have time for them (literally, with 10weeks to sort out some care provision!) Still I have another meeting with the (new) Head of Midwifery and Supervisor of MWs tomorrow. (I think the old one has been suspended.. As the least it is all very fishy, she has disappeared suddenly and is “un-contactable” - it‘s a real mystery! )

 

[chuck]

The hubby is still far too busy running planning his running and having a cold to even notice i;m heavily pregnant and give me a break ever about anything - or to have got anything out of the loft or bought anything for this new baby although saying that he did bring me a magnum ice cream when I was in the bath last night!

Dewi is getting better but still has the grot with a terrible chest but thankfully better enoguh to have justy about slept thorugh 2 night sin a row.

I have the grot now so have a delightfully congested head and a cough to boot so everything hurts. Huff. I really do not have the energy but I need to drag myself to maidstone hospital tomorrow for an optician appt and it will involve leaving the house at 7am to get there for 10am because I have to rely on public transport and I will have to use 2 train stations where I know there are no lifts and I will have have to use many flights of stairs to change platforms ergh. DO NOT WANT.

 

[PeanutBean]

Oh dear chuck! all round. I'm jealous about dewi sleeping, Byron gets worse every night. We had him screaming inconsolable for a couple of hours last night.

Really glad you like your doula moomin!

 

[moomin_troll]

ive all of a sudden been given details to 3 other doulas, so just waiting to here back off them now and i will see who i get on with the best and the person who has the closest birthing ideas that i do

 

[caro103]

good luck with the doulas moomin!

off topic from hb but hospitals generally, agh!

v v stressful wkend! we went back to hospital sunday and they were happy the jaundice levels had receeded but were all like 'he's v v dry, he needs feeding' felt like i was being accused of not feeding him, yet my milk hadn't come in yet! got bullied into giving him formula and admitted! despite all his levels coming back in bloods were just within normal limits. anyway to cut a long story short my mum came in and had a word with them. I was v v upset cos was day 3-4 anyway and milk was just coming in plus it felt like i was being told i'd starved my child! but they wanted me to feed him every 3 hrs, then express and top up using a bottle :S, and then if still hungry give him formula!

so my mum got them to agree we would follow this at home and they let me go, blooming Dr's! and today he's gained 190g overnight, which is apparently tones! we were having to properly strip him off and wake him last night he was so overfed! but was worth it to prove them wrong! ha.

Midwife came out today and was like, oh goodness what have they done to you! so i'm allowed to go back to breast feeding normally, no expressing. And just not let him sleep for more than 4 hours, which he NEVER has done anyway! except maybe last night he would have done as they made us force feed him!

Whats v scary is if i didn't have the support of my mum and was a nervous mother they'd have ruined my chances of breastfeeding, as once they'd given him a bottle his latch was really difficult to regain the 1st few times! plus being made to feel like i'd failed feeding him in those 1st few days was horrible on the days milk was just coming in too when i had the baby blues anyhow!

main thing is milk is now back in, so fx'ed things will now get easier! midwife is going to re-weight him wed xx


whos still waiting for LO's next? PB van't be long now!! xxx

 

[MandaAnda]

Oh, Caro. I'm so sorry. These paediatricians (the ones without a special interest in neonatology) know nothing about breastfeeding, and it makes me despair. I can understand them asking you to encourage him to feed more frequently since jaundice makes them sleepy, but offering formula is just counterproductive. I'm so glad you're back on track!

 

[chuck]

BF'ing shouldn't be so damn difficult should it?!!!

 

[caro103]

hehe no it def shouldn't! but its made harder by some health professionals having no faith. bit like home births though, i keep hearing if i'd been in hospital they'd have at a minimum given me an instrumental delivery, might have ended up cs! :S. All because he took his time and was back to back! feel more lucky everyday we had such supportive midwife and my mum (also midwife) there!

yes downstairs is really rather a mess and quite sore, but i'm recovering much quicker than i would have done with either of the other scenarios! plus mentally I've been at home with my husband supporting. The small taste of hospitals we've had over the wkend shows how pair shaped they can make things go by over medicalising things :S x