Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[chuck]

Hahahahaha!
Yeah, they could say things like..
"I would like to put my hand up your foof?"
I think they wouldn't be able to examin me beacuse I 'd be unable to relax through laughing!
XxX

But by the same token a torn foof doesnt sound quite as terrible as a torn labia/vagina/perineum?

C'mon we all know that if you use more positive language you think more positively especially when it comes to labour and birth hence why hypno courses use words like surges and breathing the baby down instead of contractions and pushing.

Lets get away from rudey words we were told not to use as kids and medical words that sound scary if they become broken embrace the FOOF, TUPPENCE and MINNE!!

LOL.....sorry was just thinking of the silly words used when I was a kids, my lady garden was a tuppence or minnie. Foof is something I've only recently heard and used instead of vagina etc.

 

[Bournefree]

It is a touch of genius Chuck! I would rather be laughing anyday, than scared shitless because of increased medicallisation of language which some medical persons only use to alienate themselves from people they are caring for. It is often designed and used to add gravisas to the authority of the person you who is telling you, you NEED something done - it is laughable, because it should be - because common sense should say it really is a silly idea to stick a whole hand up you in labour, without a REAL need!! ;-).. So I say all medical people should be made to use some basic silly language so they can prove how serious they are about its necesity... if they could tell me I needed it without laughing, I might believe them, as often I think they are trying to convince themselves, and not us.
XxXx

 

[Mervs Mum]

It is a touch of genius Chuck! I would rather be laughing anyday, than scared shitless because of increased medicallisation of language which some medical persons only use to alienate themselves from people they are caring for. It is often designed and used to add gravisas to the authority of the person you who is telling you, you NEED something done - it is laughable, because it should be - because common sense should say it really is a silly idea to stick a whole hand up you in labour, without a REAL need!! ;-).. So I say all medical people should be made to use some basic silly language so they can prove how serious they are about its necesity... if they could tell me I needed it without laughing, I might believe them, as often I think they are trying to convince themselves, and not us.
XxXx

amen to THAT!

 

[chuck]

it would be good if there was a way to turn up/down the language/terminology that health car professionals used across the board...you know like those plug in air fresheners.

I on one hand am quite happy to hear, understand and question if uncertain a large part of the medical and technical jargon thrown at me and then go hone and research and read about it if I'm inclined but so many people do not have this understanding of what's being said to them, the chutzpah to question it or the will/drive/time/ability to research things.

 

[cranberry987]

Had my 12w appt today and all is fine, they didnt mention home birth at all, I had decided not to argue with them as rly theres no point. If Im healthy then Im doing it my way, if Im not Ill do it their way. Theyre not gonna change their minds.

I did see on the way out of the hospital that their c sections stats are 24% which seems ok I think, not higher than the national average at least. If it had been 50% like some places I would have freaked out a bit.

x

 

[indigo_fairy]

Just a little update on my MW home visit (1st one!). It went 100 times better than I could have imagined, my MW has got to know me pretty well and said she does actually understand why I am doing what I'm doing, which was so nice to hear. She said that I have made a totally informed choice, done my research and have done alot to help myself in this next birth, she totally respects that, and is rooting for me! I did ask if she gets many women going against medical advice and she said that pretty much everyone will do what the consultant recommends and not question it, but she knows why I have and why I've chosen to go the way I have. It was so good to actually talk to her openly about everything and not have one negative response (she was a little bit at the beginning). She even compared it to a member of her family that had 2 not so great hospital experiences and then 2 great planned homebirths, so she can sympathise with me even though she's never had to go through it herself.

Obviously feeling pretty good about it and keeping my fingers crossed things go as I've planned, especially hoping that baby gets back in that good position rather than being back to back which s/he is today! Typical... And also that I don't go too overdue, my MW wants to avoid an induction just as much as me so will do all she can to help avoid that.

Bourne have you made any progress? You're only a couple of weeks behind me and SmokeyJoe! Won't be long now, June is going to fly by I wreckon.

 

[Mervs Mum]

24% CS rate is high....1 in 4 women end up having a CS....the WHO say it shouldn't be above 10-15%

 

[cranberry987]

I read the national average was 24% tho. Was that wrong?

 

[chuck]

I think thats right for the national average but our national average is high, but that figure will include elective and emergency CS.

I think our elective CS numbers aren't too bad but there are far too many EMCS due to mismanagement of labour.

 

[Bournefree]

Thanks Indigo - great to hear about the home visit with your MW... and sorry it has taken a long time to convince her/them that you have made an informed decision and get the support you need... But they got there in the end! ;-)

Me - Well I have my wonderful male MW who is doing all of my antenatal care from now on at home in the evenings so OH is about and we are treated as a family. He has been fab.
He is so supportive of home births that he has just written an article in the Journal of Midwifery about how women's choices are being restricted (I'm going to look out for it, as I don't think it is published yet)
Also He is coming along to a meeting I have with the Cheif Executive, Commisioner (they control the money), Head fo Midwifey and the Legal Services and Complaints Manager - all from the Trust. I'm so very grateful for the support, time and effort he is going to, to care for me. Although, it is almost an ironic set of circumstances, which means that he isn't in the country at the critical days around the dates of my EDD. (So come on baby you at least have to be a week over EDD!)
The meeting is this Thursday, and unless I have an assurance of care from the trust, I am going to go to court, But I'm also trying to do everything I can to avoid that situation, and get them to play ball - I can't believe how hard I am ahving to fight just to get the very simplest of questions answered " Will the turst provide me with 2 confidence, experieinced and trained MW for labour and birth at home?"

I have had a rollercoaster of emotions about it all over the months and recent weeks.. but decided before I was going on holiday to get everything in place so I'm ready to go to court (filled in all my applications, have te protcol letters done etc, etc) since them I have decided to try to relax about it, and get on with the important job of enjoying my family and looking after myself in this pregnancy - as the stress was physically effecting me... and if I'm unable to relax I might as well be kissing the whole home birth thing goodbye. Something profoundly maternal has kicked in for me. I don't trust my Trust, but I do trust and have faith in myself.

.... Ooh and... there is no blinking way I'm going to go into hospital, without ME wanting to. Hahahaha!
XxX

Check out the national stats here
https://www.birthchoiceuk.com/Professionals/Frame.htm

 

[cranberry987]

When you think of the demographic for my hospital, I'm happy with an average %. It covers central Bristol which is the poorer areas. The other hospital covers the richer areas. Also it takes all the high risk pregnancies. If i wasn't classed as high risk I would go somewhere else

Had a look at that stats website and they get 5/5 for appropriate use of
C section. I'm reassured by it at least

 

[chuck]

Bourne you really are an inspiration, truly! To find the time, energy and commitment to be doing what you are doing all while pregnant is amazing.

It's utterly ridiculous that you are having to go through all if this simply to birth your baby in your own home!

I'd be tempted to take it to the press but sadly you'd probably just suffer from backlash of ill informed idiots saying 'well you should just go to hospital like a normal woman stop being so selfish'.

i'm glad you have a good MW now...shame he's out of the country though around your EDD, you dont get many people wishing to go over the EDD by a week or more LOL.

 

[SmokyJoe78]

Go Bourne... Go Bourne - you're doing an amazing thing

Glad you're Midwife has come more 'on-board' with you Indigo. Sounds like yours' is similar to mine - it makes such a difference to feel they're supportive.

I've been doing a bit of cleaning (don't want the MWs coming to a filthy house ) and washing baby stuff - can't believe I forgot how much stuff they need

My hypnobirthing teacher came over this morning to do a 'fear release' session with me - was quite emotional, but feeling less worried about things now... starting to develop my 'bring-it-on' attitude

 

[moomin_troll]

ive started washing babys things and i forgot how much i bought hahaha

i had a listen to my hypnobirthing cd the other night and i can see if working for me, i could deffinatly feel myself going under.

tomo i have a mw appointment and then thursday im goin to a homebirth support group thats run by my doula. ive also started to pack my bag

 

[indigo_fairy]

Bourne it sounds like you're in a slightly better place than last time you spoke about it, I'm so glad, as yes the stress would be so detrimental to you and right now you need to hurry nothing up! Fingers crossed for you being at least a week over, your MW sounds great, wish he was definately going to be there for your EDD, but most tend to go overdue rather than early/on time so really hoping It's taken a while but my MW finally is being the MW I need her to be, and I think I've made her think about things a little more openly than she did so maybe it'll make another woman's life a little easier when a HBAC comes along next time.

SmokeyJoe, yes it's such a relief to actually be able to ask her genuine questions and talk openly not having to hide things, it's made me feel more confident that I can do it and really get my mind in it. I've even been tempted to be more open with my family about my plans because of my increased confidence, but haven't just because I made it this far I'm not going to run the risk of anyone dampening my confidence at this stage!

I bought 3 really big dust sheets today, only £1 each, total bargain, as she gave me a list of a couple of things I will need. Makes it more real. And my carseat & pram were delivered yesterday so my house is starting to look like a baby will be here soon, exciting

 

[Jenniflower]

Did you girls see the thing in the guardian about the twitter birth? I would link but I'm on my iPod. It's super great though.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Was it this one? This isn't the guardian but it shows how it panned out

https://storyful.com/stories/1000004196-labour-of-love-as-couple-tweet-their-homebirth

 

[Jenniflower]

Was it this one? This isn't the guardian but it shows how it panned out

https://storyful.com/stories/1000004196-labour-of-love-as-couple-tweet-their-homebirth

Yup

 

[indigo_fairy]

Loving the details, I mean I wouldn't do it myself, but if she wanted to share then why not? Regarding some who may not have liked the detail she went into - a bit of body fluid shouldn't be taboo lol why not tell it like it is! It's totally normal

 

[sam#3]

Hey ladies

We had some bad scan results on our 20 week scan last wed, her growth isnt as it should be... she is only on the 3rd centile as apposed to the 50th where she should be so we are having to have scans every 2 weeks at the moment to check her growth.... they have said if she carries on following that line then it is just that she is small but she is progressing so its fine but we will prob keep getting regular scans to monitor her... but if she drops below it then its worrying.

Also she has an echogenic bowel, which means it showed up bright instead of dark which means it is tissue filled instead of fluid filled and this is a marker for cystic fibrosis so we are off to see the consultant tommorrow morning for a scan and for blood tests on us both to see if we are carriers.

Its been an emotional week here!