Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[Mervs Mum]

Yes I'm mostly jealous of everyone's perky boobs!

 

[SmokyJoe78]

Theres 2 ladies on there, but I don't recognise one and I don't think the other one has been around for a while? Maybe they will pop up! But as far as I can see it's with SmokeyJoe and I'm 2 or so days behind, so could be either of us you aren't far off either, although got my fingers crossed your baby makes you wait at least a week

I like to think it's between the 3 of us (me, Indigo and Bourne), as although I'm hoping this baby makes his/her appearance between 38-42 weeks, I really wouldn't be surprised if I end up being a 10 month mama again!

Chuck - I think you did an amazing job and you've been an inspiration to lots of people on here - don't be too hard on yourself

 

[Bournefree]

Don't put me in there! LOL. I need a late one!
XxX

 

[PeanutBean]

As chuck k know exactly how you feel in fact I haven't even watched the video yet (sorry rmar!) partly because I suspect I'll be jealous. I got the home birth but blame myself for the change to managed third stage that I am fairly sure led to the retained placenta. And my home birth was only calm til the mad last couple of hours when I was totally out of control! I wanted pics of me chilling in the pool. I sure didn't think the pool would stimulate things the way it did. Looking back I see it did the same with Byron's labour so though we don't plan any more kids now if we were to change our minds or gave an unexpected surprise I don't think I'll even bother with a pool and that was totally my dream! Sigh. I think it is almost impossible not to have some sort of regret or desire for a small difference in how things went, decisions were made. But to get a vbac was such a huge achievement chuck! Remember our subsequent births build on what went before for better or worse and we can't change them so perhaps we need to remember to compare our own births rather than with others' births though that's easier said than done...

Anyway... I wanted to add I am still following the thread though don't get much time to post but I'm rooting for all of you with your births still to come.

 

[2ndtimeAbz]

I dont think I could bear to watch mine back even if I did record it!
Sweating buckets, being sick and pushing so hard I gave myself a nose bleed!! No, I don't think that would inspire people.
Oh and the bit where my waters popped all over the MW, more of a comedy than a beautiful moment

 

[Jodie.82]

Chuck, maybe im being ignorant but I thought even achieving a vbac was something amazing? I totally understand having regrets though but us women beat ourselves up too much!!

I really want to video my birth, but keep changing my mind as if OH was to do it he will be distracted. the midwife has an assistant maybe she would do it? either way my Mum will be watching via Skype from england!!

 

[murmur]

Jodie, that's amazing that your mum is going to watch via Skype! I'm so not going to suggest that one to my parents! When you do a Skype video chat can you not record it at the same time?

I don't think I would want a video of the actual birth - I will be more than happy with some photos taken shortly afterwards.

I have the midwife coming over today to do her home visit - it seems to make the whole thing just that bit more "real" now!

 

[Mervs Mum]

I wish wish wish I'd filmed my births!! Oh to be able to bottle that atmosphere or capture it forever!! I just wish we had the last hour or so. I asked my hubby to video but he said he couldn't concentrate on two things at once! if we ever have another I'm having it filmed for definite.

 

[chuck]

I have terrible self esteem and self efficacy issues. I never live up to myself in my own mind and I have an awful tendency to want to engage in one-upmanship (or should that be one-upwomanship).

Which is utterly ridiculous as there is no way you can compare any womens pregnancy labour or birth - but we all do it.

As much as we said we'd only have 2 kids i have a stubborn streak in my mind that is planning the next time to include all the things I wanted this time but was told no it's stupid/hippy shit/ too expensive etc.

maternity photos
belly cast
hypnobirthing course
pregnancy yoga
4d scan
doula
independent mw
calm home water birth - photographed/filmed
catch my baby myself
physiological 3rd stage
encapsulate placenta
breastfeed

...oh and a husband who wants the same things and who will bother to support me and be involved and who might take part in caring for said newborn other than just cuddles when they're settled.

In some respects a reasonable list, in another a bunch of things that really do not matter on the scale of things.

As has been said I survived a shitty time and came out stronger and got a darn good VBAC, i shouldn't be chasing some gold standard that doesn't exist like a drug user chasing the perfect high...I'll end up with a blimmin football team else and in the nut house.

Anyone want to trade brains?

...or legs to that matter, rmar dibs on yours!

 

[cranberry987]

Id love to film my birth, but I think Id end up with a video of me grimacing which would put me off watching it. if i looked like a film star the whole time then different story, unlikely tho lol

Just did my first bit of standing up for myself/getting what I want. small thing and silly rly, but quite nervous about it as i hate confrontation. Ive phoned to check that I dont have the crappy battleaxe MW at my 16w appt. I didnt like her and she had no idea about the practical aspects of my care at the consultant - told me I couldnt have a NT on the NHS (I can) and that I could see the consultant at my GP rather than go into the hospital (I cant)

Hopefully I'll be already booked in with the other MW who might be just as crap, but maybe we'll get on better and I wont mind. Then I just gotta work out what days they work, the reception dont seem to know... Feel awkward saying to someone directly 'I dont want to see you', has to happen tho tbh.

Have also been thinking about whether I actually need a birthing pool. We have one of those massive corner baths. I know the bathroom will be a bit cramped, but its something to think about maybe.

 

[murmur]

Have also been thinking about whether I actually need a birthing pool. We have one of those massive corner baths. I know the bathroom will be a bit cramped, but its something to think about maybe.

A few weeks ago my OH asked why I wanted a birth pool - "wouldn't our bath be okay". I think he realised yesterday when he had to physically help me out of the bath. I thought at one point he might need to shoe-horn me out!

 

[cranberry987]

Hehe. Is yours a corner bath too? I'm not that big yet ofc so might have to reassess when were closer/bigger. Ours also has a handy step thingy in the corner. Good for sitting on if I want to get into a different position. Will probably go with a pool in the end just thinking of way to appease the skinflint dh!

 

[Bournefree]

There is a corner bath video on the first page of this thread isn't there? I would say it looks like it works really well.

The only thing that would attract me to a birthing pool is the depth you can get with it. Right upto your upper back.. umm bliss! But you could put blue-tac in the over-flow, so you can get it a little deeper. Try it out.. see what positions you can get into.
Xxx

 

[cranberry987]

woo - just got a call back from crappy mw, im seeing the other one and apparently most of my care will be with her. She works Mondays and as pretty much all my other appts are mondays Im just taking mondays off from now til Dec (self employed and lazy hehe). Woo, hope shes not crap now too. will just go into it with rosey glasses on and everything will be fine. I know I can see another MW if I want to, but dont wanna go through the hassle tbh if I can avoid it by just ignoring things a bit - totally mental I know.

Ooh, will have a look at the vid, thanks. blue tac is a good idea too, was thinking could buy some sort of plug, but the low tech ideas usually work the best.

 

[sam#3]

i have decided to birth in my bath this time, i love being in my bath with candles and find my bathroom really chilled and cosy so i think it will be perfect for labour and birth, plus it has a shower attachment so i can hose myself down after before getting into bed!! thanks for the overflow tip!

 

[murmur]

Hehe. Is yours a corner bath too? I'm not that big yet ofc so might have to reassess when were closer/bigger. Ours also has a handy step thingy in the corner. Good for sitting on if I want to get into a different position. Will probably go with a pool in the end just thinking of way to appease the skinflint dh!

Sadly, no, our bath is just a very small thing. Infact, I think the baby bath we bought might actually be bigger than our normal bath!

 

[Mervs Mum]

As long as you can get it to a depth you are happy with and is reasonable to avoid baby being stimulated to breathe, then a bath - corner or just big - would work. Obviously the mws life is made much easier by you being very deep and you get the full benefits but if you look at older hospital/birth centre water birth films they are all in big baths. Some places in the US do it that way still now.

Chuck I have a list like yours. I'm very happy with everything that happened in my second and third births but I think its probably a trait of a lot of the women here that we want it 'perfect'. I don't think we will have any more but there are more things on my wish list too. It's finding a way to be happy with what you DID get though.

Now this is DEFINTELY hippy shit but I am going to be doing it soon....have you thought about birth art? I was interviewed for my friends psychology degree last week and it unearthed some things with Emilys birth that I never knew were there. So I've asked for my notes back so I can formally debrief with an IM friend then once I've processed it all, I'm going to get a doula friend to do birth art with me.

 

[Rmar]

Who knew I would come back to a discussion about my legs.

The part of the video I really shouldn't compare to others is the part that was left out. No one got any videos or photos of having to get out of the bath with blood gushing down my legs and my husband having to leave to go outside because hearing the talk of whether or not to transfer because the midwife could not find a pulse in my wrist was too much for him. It worked out OK but I do feel a bit strange seeing videos of other women who have loads of time afterwards not having to move anywhere and staying with their babies. My baby was given back to me when I got to the loungeroom but the time between the bathroom and the loungeroom I had to hand her over which didn't feel nice.

I know that this is something I couldn't control but it does make me feel like a bit of a failure in the back of my head even though the front of my head is screaming that there was nothing I could do.

---

The one thing about being in the bath tub instead of the pool was the fact that it got cold quickly. Most tubs can't keep the heat in and by the end, I was shivering from being cold. I tested with a thermometer and my bath water goes down by a degree in about 20 minutes. But if your bath keeps in the heat or has a heater, that would be perfect.

The only reason I gave birth in the tub was because my birth pool was still being used by other people. I'm pretty sure it was the birth that my midwife went to the next day. It was nice to be in my bath tub, though. I was in there daily at the end of the pregnancy to meditate and now I am in there daily having a relaxing bath with DD. It has some great memories to it, now.

 

[cranberry987]

Birth art sounds like a great idea. No matter what we do its gonna be a pretty emotional event however it pans out. Worth dealing with those emotions in a creative way I reckon. Def hippy shit tho Bring it all on!

I suppose birthing vids are better to show ppl than actually watch yourself unless youve been able to cherry pick a lot of the footage. Theres always going to be a 'oh no, look at my double chin' or 'oh Im having a cry there, silly me' or something like that.

 

[SmokyJoe78]

I tried out my inflatable pool yesterday and it was much nicer than the bath. You can have the water really quite high and it seemed to keep it's temp well. Also because of the high sides I felt like I was in a wee cocoon, which I imagine will help with labour - the kind of "going into yourself" feeling. I just wish they made one a little bit bigger... for tall people - I can only just stretch my legs out fully

Murmur - just noticed you're 36 weeks... so also in contention for the birthing baton next!


Am in the house this morning waiting for my box and the gases to be delivered! Exciting!