Indigo - I really feel for you. I know first hand what the pressure is like!! lmost intolerable… They were so keen with my GD to have me in for induction with DD bang on 40wks, and then when I didn’t agree, an extensive plan of monitoring. I didn’t have any monitoring in the end - and I admit that I did turn up to the hospital, sat in the waiting room for a good 10-15mins while they were trying to find a consultant…(sure they were trying to find one to convince me of the induction again), and thank goodness I had that brief time to think (though it felt like a lifetime!), as it was long enough for me to have an over-ridding-instinctive-feeling that I just wanted to be home and I didn’t feel safe and was so worried that once in, it was going to be very hard to get out of there.. So I informed the desk I was off, and walked away. The releif was instant.
I was later contacted by my MW, to check to see how I was feeling (emotionally). I felt so much more comfortable with my MW, who had always been very supportive of my home birth plans and was intune with what I wanted. She made an open invitation to either have a look, and if favourable perform a sweep whenever I wanted, with her (she gave me her shift times and where she would be.. or when she could come to the house. So it felt free-er and without pressure).
I was probably charmed a bit, which isn‘t hard when someone appears to be offering you a lifeline! I just got to the point where, with the help of the trust between us, I felt the sweep was certainly the lesser of any of the evils of getting things going. So just popped along one night at 9pm. She had a look with a speculum first. My cervix was 2-3cm 60% effaced, soft and slightly posterior.
So I agreed to the sweep. Only 2 days post EDD - which seems sooo silly now, but goes to show the pressure and emotional stress I was under and how all the mentions of risk this, risk that, was getting to me. I was determined to have my homebirth. I have the benefit of hindsight now, and know that I just wouldn‘t put myself through that pressure again.
The sweep was odd.. not painful, very very weird and uncomfortable.. made me stop talking for a while! And I’ll never know if baby was going to come anyway, as everyone has said, you can’t perform one if your not all ripened up anyways! (the unanswerable question!).. But 48hours, almost exactly, baby was in my arms. I made the right decision for me at the time.. And I admit that it felt good to find out something was happening with my body, and I had tried to get going (along with all the natural methods) to get my homebirth before my own mind played a horrible trick on me, and I became convinced of the induction.
You have a normal pregnancy, you are not over term, over due or in a prolonged pregnancy. Your strengh is wonderful. I also wanted to say that I totally understand where you are coming from about the sweep, as I agreed that it was the lesser, in terms of risks of what they can offer, to potentially get into labour.
I thinks it’s great that you have switched off your phone, or not replying to the maddening texts¬! Clear your mind and trust your instincts. This time is all about what makes you feel comfortable, safe and protected.
Sorry I've waffled, I know! Chuck has said it so much better!
Xxx
i will never tire of looking at a bump and thinking about the life inside there 
Feels funny reading through this with my probably 12pm by now 2 month old in my arms. Can't believe she was ever 6lb10, or ever in my tum!
cos i got a fat belly! hahaha!
