Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[ryder]

hmm im not sure how it works in the U.S. but Canada is alot different.

Here we have practical nurses and nurses. The practical nurses take care of the majority of medical patients, IVs, dressing medications etc. A registered nurse goes to school for a good 2-3 years longer and they are spcialized in an area, such as birthing etc. Which, a labour and delivery nurse is one option.

A labour and delivery nurse works in the hospital and does the labouring care with you. When your in the pushing stages the OBGYN is called for the delivery.

Midwives here are something completely different. They are still a nurse, but I beileve their schooling is more along the tune of 5-7 years specialized college and training. They can write prescriptions etc too.

The midwives in my area specifically have their own office they operate out of. And they have just recently been granted priveledges to deliver in our hospital. When your taken on by a mw here your completely take on, and when you go to the hospital (if you choose too, homebirths are covered too) your granted the use of a labour room and equipment.

But from what I understand, and from what many of my friends who have used them have said, they really encourage their patients to not use medical intervention here. They dont use the fetal monitoring device or other things etc. Unless absolutely necessary. And they dont even let the L & D nurses in unless there is an absolute need for an OB or something.

Obviously the use of other holistic approaches to birth is something they do, which is what I really am interested in with my mw.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Thanks J. It's really interesting to hear the different set ups. I think the 'basic' premise
seems to be the same everywhere.

Here's a great book for anyone interested. I was sent a copy by a friend of mine who is quite well known in breastfeeding and home birthing circles in Canada. She's friends with the author. I've just started reading it properly and after skimming it first I think it looks a good home birth read too .

Here's the website and if you're interested you can get the book there too.

https://www.birthingtheeasyway.com/

 

[Mervs Mum]

I have a question:

How have/did people react to you telling them you were planning a home birth? I have had mixed reactions. I havent told my MIL yet because I dread to think what her reaction will be....my mum said 'are you sure? I know you are up for anything but are you sure?' My sister said 'why? you liked the birth centre didnt you?' but hasnt questioned it. You know how my OH currently feels! My best friend almost screamed 'NO! oh Lisa are you mental?!'......so how have people reacted to you?

 

[marley2580]

Most people outside my family just rolled their eyes lol. My family just thought it was natural, tbh I think I would have had more of a reaction if I'd chosen to go to hospital. Strangers were slightly taken aback. With my HBAC, a lot of the health professionals, with the exception of the CMWs, were shocked and horrified that I would even consider taking such risks.

 

[Mervs Mum]

I dont think people are shocked when I tell them. I'm well known for doing things 'my way' IYKWIM.

Marley - OT...did you see my name in the most recent ABM Magazine with the other new Mother Supporters?

 

[marley2580]

I'm embarrassed to admit that my subscription has lapsed lol. I really must rejoin. Congrats though. Are you going to go on and do the full course?

 

[Mervs Mum]

Not at the moment although I'm trying to be very open minded with everything ATM. I'm officially on maternity leave but I'm not returning to work now until the LOs are at school. I'm trying to balance some type of study with being a SAHM. Not much point giving up work to be a SAHM then going to be a full time student...kind of defeats the object. But I am going to do something and it definitely on my list of possibilities. I'd like to be able to have a change of job when I do go back to work.

 

[MandaAnda]

My mother, MIL and grandmother-in-law were all sort of like, "Hmmm, I don't know, first baby, etc." I had to bite my tongue not to snap, "Well, it's a good thing it's my decision then, isn't it?!" I know they have my best interest at heart, and they're more ok with it now that my midwife is cool about it as well.

Like I mentioned on this thread on Friday, I've already had one friend text me to ask if the baby's here and, when I told her about the home birth plans, felt the need to tell me that there could be a delay in getting help if there were any problems. Didn't ask. My best friend is happy that it's my decision and knows that I read into things and make very informed decisions. Quite a few of my friends on Facebook are like, "No! You HAVE to go into hospital because that's where the wonderful people with all the drugs are!" I love how so many people think: labour = epidural.

 

[carries]

I have a question:

How have/did people react to you telling them you were planning a home birth? I have had mixed reactions. I havent told my MIL yet because I dread to think what her reaction will be....my mum said 'are you sure? I know you are up for anything but are you sure?' My sister said 'why? you liked the birth centre didnt you?' but hasnt questioned it. You know how my OH currently feels! My best friend almost screamed 'NO! oh Lisa are you mental?!'......so how have people reacted to you?

Hello Lisa, have just found this post and thought i'd share albeit briefly as Oscar is napping!

In relation to the above, I think I had pretty positive responses (at least to my face!) I think some family members may have had reservations but to be honest, it wasn't them having to do it so I didn't probe them on their opinions.

I was really lucky in that those who mattered, my OH, midwife etc were all really supportive but I honestly think that as long as he wasn't dead set against it, I would have gone for it anyway.

It is in most of our natures to concede and give in, especially when there is the hint of any danger but at the end of the day you are the one having to give birth. Obviously if it came to it, you could always change your mind the week before or during the birth itself and transfer in but I dont reckon on your chances of transfering out!

PM me if you want to and if your OH has any questions for mine I will pass them on and see if that helps.

 

[carries]

Oh and just to say that it really wasnt messy at all (although I delivered in the pool) and you have bought the same pool we used and its fab. Deffo using it again this time round.

 

[Mervs Mum]

The more I think about it and the more I read the more I know this is what I want. I just have a hard time knowing that he's not 100%

I sent him the links to the dad's view stuff that Marley mentioned and he's not said anything. I've read him some statistics from the book I'm reading ATM and he listened but didnt say anything. Oh well. I feel like me just going with what I want, could be a massive water shed moment in our relationship.....and not in a good way

 

[carries]

Oh hun its so hard. I know if I was in your position I would have felt like I should give in so that Jamie was content but I know I wouldn't have been. I suppose if I am honest, I would make it clear that this was the way I wanted, and intended to birth and you realy need him to be supportive, or at least as supportive as he can be and then leave it at that.

If your OH is anything like mine, the more you mention something he doesnt want to do, the more he shuts down. Give him a final (ish) statement and then let him ponder on it.

 

[Mervs Mum]

I think my problem is that I like things sorted. I like a plan and to know where I stand. I said I was going to leave it till my MW appointment a week on weds but I couldnt. I really want his approval and I want it now! I think I'm going to drop it and the next time will be either him mentioning it or me reminding him about the MW appointment.

 

[carries]

I think thats a good idea. Give him time to process it in his own way. I really hope it works out for you...I can't believe you are 30 weeks already!

 

[pinkmummy]

Lisa hun.

I know what you mean. I mentioned about a home birth at 8 weeks and OH said no.

By 35 weeks I decided it was what I wanted as it was going to be my last birth, OH wasn't too keen but once we had it he said he would have done it again in a heartbeat

I think it takes men a lot longer to come round to the idea xx

 

[pinkmummy]

PS Heres my story

https://www.babyandbump.com/birth-a...mas-matthew-hughes-22-02-2009-home-birth.html xx

 

[Mervs Mum]

Thanks K. I read your birth story a last weekend and it was one that I got OH to read. This could well be my last so I dont want to regret not doing it.

Carrie - I know! Dont you think its going really fast this time!!

 

[pinkmummy]

I really hope it helps him hun it really is worth it. As I said OH was scepitcal even when I was in labour lol xx

 

[gina8177]

I have a question:

How have/did people react to you telling them you were planning a home birth? I have had mixed reactions. I havent told my MIL yet because I dread to think what her reaction will be....my mum said 'are you sure? I know you are up for anything but are you sure?' My sister said 'why? you liked the birth centre didnt you?' but hasnt questioned it. You know how my OH currently feels! My best friend almost screamed 'NO! oh Lisa are you mental?!'......so how have people reacted to you?

I'm not telling most people that I plan to have a home birth because I don't want to deal with the negative replies (especially most of my family). So I'll tell them afterwords. My dad is the only one in my family who knows and told me not even to tell my mom I'm using a MW cause she will freak out.

Those who are close to me and I know will support me know and they have found it interesting to learn more about it from me. So many people don't know that is is an option and don't really know much about it. A lot of my friends who are planning on having kids in the next little bit are excited for me to try it and to hear about it.

 

[HayleyJA]

The more I think about it and the more I read the more I know this is what I want. I just have a hard time knowing that he's not 100%

I sent him the links to the dad's view stuff that Marley mentioned and he's not said anything. I've read him some statistics from the book I'm reading ATM and he listened but didnt say anything. Oh well. I feel like me just going with what I want, could be a massive water shed moment in our relationship.....and not in a good way

Lisa, (I hope you don’t mind me calling you by your name!), I’ve read through the ‘objections’ you’re encountering and hope you don’t mind me adding my opinion. I obviously don’t know you, your OH or family situation, but from what I gather, you’re a pretty knowledgeable, well researched and forward thinking lady! I assume your OH knows your personality well and trusts in you and your beliefs.

I can’t imagine you’d enter into HB lightly (as I don’t think any of us would) and surely, as my midwife said to me this week, you wouldn’t be stubborn for stubborn’s sake. If you NEEDED to go to hospital, you would. Yes?

Then, putting stats and case studies aside, every labour and birth is going to be different. Are any of us 100% in knowing HB is what we want? We may well be 99.9% sure at the moment, but at the onset of labour, that might slide as the nerves and reality (and pain!) set in. Again, if you decided that you’d be more comfortable in hospital, I’m sure you’d go.

My feeling is that that are so many ‘pro’s’ to HB, that it’s got to be worth at least a try. Can you not maybe pitch it like that to your OH? Even if you’re labouring for ‘x’ hours at home, and need to transfer for the final push (so to speak), the benefits have got to be worth it...? Perhaps compromise, or rather acknowledge that whilst he’s not 100% at the moment, you’re asking that he support you and play things by ear as much as you are...as long as you’re supporting each other and being open in your communications, I’m sure you’ll reap the rewards.

I’ve probably not made my point explicitly clear, but hopefully you can understand the gist of it!