Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[MandaAnda]

I agree with this ^. If I'm talking to someone about our plans for a home birth and mention that DH is now on board and he hears me, he always says "but say that I still prefer the hospital!" And he does. But from when I mentioned it early on and he was outright against it, I carried on reading about pregnancy and birth and really started to feel that I had to at least give it a try. I think he realises this. I also told him at one point that, as a nurse myself (and one that works in a NICU at that), there's no way I'd go for this if I hadn't thoroughly researched and felt it was the best way forward. Professionally, my training demands that I fully research things - I can't do things "just because." And I feel the same way about this. Also, seeing the complications that come in to my place of work: at two hospitals, I've never seen one as a result of "something going wrong" at a home birth. The closest was a baby with very high bilirubin levels who was jaundiced like you wouldn't believe - but that doesn't happen at birth, and home births still get the same 10 day midwife visits we do, which is where it was picked up on.

I think you're doing the right thing by giving him space about it and just mentioning the midwife appointment closer to the time. Like my DH, he doesn't have to be 100% in love with the idea, he just needs to support you.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Thanks Hayley and Manda

Hayley (I dont mind you calling me Lisa BTW!) I totally get your point and yes you're right. He knows my personality and that if the MW or even he said it was a good idea to transfer, then I wouldnt say no. I am definitely doing my research and not entering into this blindly and I agree you can never truly be 100% because human nature is to wonder 'what if?' But I am confident that home is the bes place for me to at least start the birthing process. If I can see that through to it's natural conclusion then fantastic but I wont be risking anything just so I can say I did it.

Thanks again girls

 

[Kitten]

My OH was very supportive of my decision to have a homebirth, thankfully. He knew I was terrified of the hospital and the midwife coming round chatting through it all with us helped I think because she was very pro-home births and so sold it to him as she was a 'professional' if you see what I mean?

We had a few "complications" but when I was begging to be transferred for pain relief the midwives were really disappointed and that's when they discovered the gas and air was off and we all had a big celebration when I was high as a kite going "Pah, this is nothing compared to IBS!" 10mins later. Lol. My only real fear was shoulder dystocia and he ended up being so small that it wasn't an issue anyway. I had complete faith in the 3 midwives despite never having met them before. When I was in labour it never crossed my mind that he might not be OK, they had a doppler on me constantly when I was in the bath which was irritating but reassuring and a lot more than I would have got in hospital. When he was born he was covered in meconium but I don't know if they knew when they burst my waters because nothing was said and they never seemed worried.

My story if you're interested: https://www.babyandbump.com/birth-a...th-theakston-oliver-lee-watson-very-long.html

 

[purple_socks]

goodness me i was away 4 a few days and the threads suddenly gained loads of pages...i've only skim read through but just wanted to say a few things relating to previous convos:

i transfered because Kian became distressed and passed meconium...my waters broke at the very start (30 hours prior) and they had been running clear the whole time then suddenly loads of green came gushing out. So we called an ambulance...transfering wasn't at all how i thought it would b. Kian was being monitored with the hand held monitor, first a paramedic car turned up (not really sure y...they said an ambulence was on route and all the car guy did was fill out paper work...maybe he was there 'just in case' i blew up or something ) anyway i walked to ambulance (which blocked our rd and made a big line of traffic reverse so it that was a bit ) anyway we had blue lights all the way to the hospital and we got there in abt 5 mins! i was wheeled straight up to the labour ward and that was that...it was really easy and not at all as scary as i had thought it might b.

altho OH has said he found watching me in labour hard and spending so much time laboring at home alone he felt quite lonely, he is very pro HB for the ease and the safety side...u need to transfer from a birthing centre for all the same reasons u would from HB (like if any 'issues' arise or 4 additional pain relief) and our house is much nearer the hospital than the birthing centre was so i felt equally as safe going to either. we didn't have to worry abt getting the timing right 4 leaving or getting anything ready to leave (plus i do not understand how anyone gets in a car when in labour...i couldn't sit down ) we just chilled out at home which did feel quite relaxed.

we did have the whole 'no MWs' thing when we called. we called a little while before we needed to so that they had time to prepare at which point no1 was availible. we were offered the choice to come in which we declined. We told them we would b expecting a MW soon, what was going on with contracts and that we would wait 4 half an hour then call back. when we called back someone came out in 20 mins....i was prepared for a fight from reading previous stories on Homebirth.org abt problems getting a MW but it wasn't like that. No1 tried to bully us into going to hospital. just keep in touch with the MW unit every now and again so they can b prepared and get a MW on stand by.

Has ur OH read some birthing stories on homebirth.org? i got mine to read some and i think it helped him get his head round it.

one of the things that made me opt for a HB was that u can change ur mind at any point and go into hospital but if u opt for a hospital birth u can't suddenly change ur mind half way through (once u have arrive there) and transfer back home (or at least not with such ease...or an ambulance...u'd have to really fight to leave!)

 

[Mervs Mum]

Thanks Kitten! I just read your birth story

P Socks - that's summed it perfectly - I can plan a HB and transfer but I cant start at the BC and then decide to take the MWs home with me. I am writing all this down for the MW appointment!

 

[Kitten]

Sounds like you're very organised and know what you want!

 

[ryder]

Thanks Kitten! I just read your birth story

P Socks - that's summed it perfectly - I can plan a HB and transfer but I cant start at the BC and then decide to take the MWs home with me. I am writing all this down for the MW appointment!

How far can you stay at home labouring? Im lucky my mw will come to my home and do things there first. I would like to stay at home until I really need to to to the hospital, I wont actually give birth at home. I starved last time being at the hospital, at least at home I can eat and drink what I want.

Sorry for barging into your thread too... But it seems the best place for questions on labouring at home, either people seem to go straight to the hospital or stay home.

 

[Mervs Mum]

where I am, they only ask you to come in if your waters went (then they will send you home to labour once they are happy everything seems ok) or if your contractions are a certain duration and distance apart. I think its every 2 mins for 1st babies and every 4 mins for subsequent babies. You can stay home as long as you feel happy to. My best friend had her 3rd in september and she stayed home till 12.15pm, arrived at the hospital at 12.25 and gave birth at 1.05! Its what ever you are comfortable with I guess.

 

[kiwimama]

I been thinking I'd quite like a homebirth for the next one (I know I'm not pregnant or even ttc yet but have been clucky thinking of the next one lately!) I laboured at home until 7cms, HATED the car ride to the hospital and had baby within 2 hours of being at the hospital so really, what was the point? Gas & air didn't work for me and although I had a shot of pethidine (I didn't want it but the mws gave it to me cuz they wanted me to relax during the contractions.) I think the thing I think would be the best bit of home birth would be to snuggle up in your own bed afterwards with your family. I absolutely hated being in the maternity unit for 3 days after the birth. I wouldn't do it again unless it was necessary for safety. During my last pregnancy I had a growth on my uterus which grew with the pregnancy due to the hormones. I was told my baby would be early (she wasn't) I was told she would be small (she wasn't) I was told I would have a high risk of hemorrage after birth (I didn't). Only thing was I had second degree tears which needed to be stitched up afterwards. Do the mws do this at home or do you have to transfer to hospital? How does all your OHs and family feel about your choice? I haven't even mentioned it to my oh yet and I'm not sure how he'll feel. I read only 7% of births are homebirths in NZ so not very common and think my family will think im crazy. Also I'm worried that if the cyst grows again during pregnancy (which I'm told it probably will) that I'll be putting my baby in danger if I don't go to hospital. Any replies would be great! Homebirth, Yay!

 

[MandaAnda]

I think the midwives here will stitch any tear or episiotomy at home as long as it's not too severe.

As for how the OHs, friends and family feel, a few of us have commented on it on this thread - there's a wide range of how people have responded. I have a feeling that our home birth average in the UK is probably less than 7% - anyone have stats?

 

[EternalRose]

Hi Ladies,

Can I join this thread...

I am not certain that I will have a homebirth yet, but my fiance has said he is happy to go with whatever I choose to do. Thank you to all the ladies who have shared your stories, it has answered a lot of questions that I had in my mind.

I havent had much positivity when I have mentioned to my midwives I want home birth. My BMI was 35 at my booking in appointment, and I have put a lot of weight on in this pregnancy but im only a size 16 now so I dont think im that bad. However, Im due to see my midwife next week and because if my weight Im going to have to see the consultant. She said, she will bring her consultant " diary " with her at the 28 week appointment next week, marvellous Ive also got to wait for my glucose test results, my urine and bloods have all been fine so far. I am rhesus negative though.

I am hoping everything still comes back all clear, so I can hit home how much I would like a homebirth to the consultant, but if Abigail dont turn in the right position I cant have one anyway? Does anyone know the percentage of babies that stay breech at all?

My SIL has already told me, she doesnt think homebirth is a good idea as " what if something goes wrong " Yawn. Dont get me wrong, it is a little concern of mine but its almost as if people think you just make up your mind about having a homebirth whilst your standing in the queue at the fish and chip shop or something.

EternalRose x x

 

[MandaAnda]

M, have a look at the Home Birth Reference Site and the "You Can't Have a Home Birth Because...." section, which has "You are too big/heavy/overweight..." as a reason and says:

Large women are more likely to suffer from diabetes and blood pressure problems in pregnancy, which might affect your decision regarding home birth. There is also an increased risk of shoulder dystocia, but it is not clear whether this persists independently if you do not have gestational diabetes. Apart from these issues, though, weight alone should not be the deciding factor.

It then gives the example of four women who went through this and had home births. It also says to look at the Plus-Size Pregnancy page and an article on the Gentle Birth website. As for Abigail being breech, you may get offered another scan. While my baby is felt to be cephalic presentation, they're going to arrange a scan for 36/37 weeks to ensure that he is indeed head-down. Breech babies are also addressed as a reason you "can't have" a home birth and gives a few women's stories:

As with twins, breech birth at home is unusual, but it does happen, as Kathryn's, Bronwyn's, Anna's and Oddny's birth stories show. Nicky also had a breech birth at home, but sadly her baby died, although we cannot be sure that this was a consequence of the breech birth. Some women, like Sophie, choose to change to a hospital setting, but with the right midwife may still have a completely natural breech birth. In these cases the mothers booked with independent midwives who were experienced in attending natural breech births. Others stay with the NHS, eg Ruth changed her plans and went to hospital when her first baby decided to arrive breech, five weeks early. Louise only realised her baby was breech when a foot arrived after a very fast labour, and she transferred and gave birth in the ambulance outside the hospital.

It also gives a few articles in the UK Midwifery Archives, an article on eMedicine that's aimed at HCPs like us and some news snippets on their own site.

I hope that helps a bit.

 

[EternalRose]

Thanks ever so much for this info hun, Im going to look now.

By the way, I dont think Abigail is breech at the moment I was just asking in case she turns breech or something. I hope the midwife will be able to tell me what position she is lying in next week.

Thanks again hun x x

 

[Rachiebaby24]

Hi everyone!!! Only just managed to have time to come in here!!

I am hoping for a home birth this time around.

I had wanted one with Maley (i dont even know why, just that im a homely person and knew i would be more relaxed at home) but as it was my first baby, my OH wasnt keen on a home birth because, to be truthful, i am a wimp and he wasnt sure how i would cope.

With Maley, i ended up labouring at home for three hours, going to the hospital and was there an hour when Maley was born. I didnt have a bad experience at the hospital as im quite forthright in what i want (ie, no drugs to be offered to me unless i ask for them, no intervention such as monitors, internals, drips etc - just a doppler now and then).

My disappointments with the hospital was the aftercare:

- Queuing up for beakfast, lunch and dinner, in a corridor far away from the bed (many women wheeled their babies to collect their lunch and you got moaned at if you didnt return your tray)

- zero help with breastfeeding - just kept being told to keep trying

- wouldnt allow me to go home even though me and baby were fine


I feel that i will be more relaxed at home, more in control and i like the idea of having mws undevided attention. I also didnt like when my OH "went home" after i had Maley. I felt really alone and it was horrible and he said it was horrible coming home on his own too.

I also want my OH to deliver/catch the baby.

I live about 5 minutes drive from a hospital so i know transfer will not take long if i needed to transfer.

Many people have given me negative comments such as Your Mad.......

The way i see it is.....

I will have MY baby where I want to. Its personal choice. It was not that long ago that people didnt go to hospitals. My hospital has a new thing now that you leave after 6 hours anyway so i dont see the point in coming to hospital to then leave shortly after the baby has been born.

The only concern i have been told regarding my home birth is a consultant, who things my belly is too small. Maley was 5lb 13oz at birth and i carry in my bag though there is history of small babies on my side anyway (i myself was a 5lb baby as well as my brothers and sisters). The consultant has given me two further growth scans at 34 and 36 weeks and says he will recommend me to not have a home birth if the baby shows up as being small like Maley. Well i told my mw to put it bluntly, he can f off. At my 20 week scan, baby was measuring perfect for her dates. Maley was small, but she needed no intervention and had agpar scores of 9 and 10. Th consultant did not seem to be supportive of home births in general yet my mw has been very supportive.

 

[MandaAnda]

...The only concern i have been told regarding my home birth is a consultant, who things my belly is too small. Maley was 5lb 13oz at birth and i carry in my bag though there is history of small babies on my side anyway (i myself was a 5lb baby as well as my brothers and sisters). The consultant has given me two further growth scans at 34 and 36 weeks and says he will recommend me to not have a home birth if the baby shows up as being small like Maley. Well i told my mw to put it bluntly, he can f off. At my 20 week scan, baby was measuring perfect for her dates. Maley was small, but she needed no intervention and had agpar scores of 9 and 10. Th consultant did not seem to be supportive of home births in general yet my mw has been very supportive.

Welcome to the thread. And what a stupid reason not to "let" you have a home birth! If you and your siblings were healthy small babies and you have already had a healthy small baby, then chances are it's just genetic that you'll make...wait for it...small babies!! Too right, your consultant can p!ss right off. Good luck on having the birth you want. Have a look here.

 

[Celesse]

Hi all,

I'm planning a home birth and have been planning this since before we even started TTC.

At the moment my plans for home are not finalised as my iron has been a bit on the low side. My Hb needs to stay above 10.5. Last time it was taken I was 10.8 and I feel even better now so fingers crossed. I am having it checked again on 28 Jan and will have a home visit from the midwife on 1 Feb to make the final decision. ..... So sprouts and spinach with every meal !!!

My birth partners are going to be OH and MIL (I want a female birth partner and my own mother is too far away). OH is very supportive of the home birth idea. It means he can stay close to his pc and he will be calmer in his own living room than in a hospital. MIL isn't so happy about the home birth idea and keeps going on about "what if something goes wrong". ... She is coming to the home visit on the 1 Feb and OH has told her if she isn't supportive there's no point her being there!!!

 

[gina8177]

FXing my fingers for good iron levels!

I agree with your DH, if you MIL is nervous and not supportive of the idea then having here there could have a negative impact on your birth. Her fear and doubts could rub off on you during times where you need support. I would explain this to your MIL and let her know that she needs to trust you and the MW and if anything goes wrong, you'll transfer to the hospital. If you think that her attitude towards HB will cause her to have negative feelings and worries during the birth then you might want to look into someone else. Is there any one else who could be your female birth partner? Could you hire a doula?

 

[Rach28]

Used an idea from this thread and suggested to DH that he watched some homebirth videos, he is very supportive and did just that....

He then chatted to me about it and said that it wasn't as bad or as messy as he originally thought and that actually it all looked quite easy....

EASY!!!!!!!

Well half of me was really pleased that he continues to be so calm, relaxed and supportive... the other half of me wanted to go mad and lecture him about refering to childbirth as 'easy'!!!

I know some women have very positive, smooth expereinces of labour and birth so I bit my lip and didnt say a word....

I have my 34 week midwife appointment tomorrow, so hopefully can discuss our homebirth plans in abit more detail with her, she recorded in my notes at my booking appointment that this is what i wanted - but nothing else has been said.

 

[MandaAnda]

Oh, dear. Some DHs, hey? Mine currently equates me giving birth with him having a poo. I can't wait for labour day in the front room so I can *watch* him change his mind about that!

 

[Rach28]

LOL Manda - glad its not just my DH then!!!

Silly boys