Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[gina8177]

Oh goodness, easy! I agree with Rach, silly boys!

(It may not end up being "easy" for him. A friend of my SIL just gave birth before Christmas and ended up dislocating her DH's shoulder, lol).

 

[BabyHaines]

Hello ladies
May I join?? I have only just found this thread, as I am clearly a doughnut....!!

Anyhoo. Hubby and I are hoping for a homebirth with our first baby. Hubby is 110% set on it, as I was admitted to the maternity ward at the hospital when I was around 24ish weeks and the treatment was horrible :'( it was my first stay in hospital and I was terrified and they were so rude. (Shudders!!)
I was then all set in a home water birth and made arrangements to hire a pool etc. but then have had a few blood pressure problems, so I started to falter and think I might be better off in hospital, but now I've gone back to my original 'home waterbirth' idea.

I am about 20+mins from the hospital. I am a little nervous about needing a transfer, but my community MW is amazing. She has promised that we can err on the side of caution and rather than wait for it to be an ambulance jobby, she would give us the chance to drive there at the first sign of any worry/slow progress etc.
I have to be honest, I think the thought of possibly having my MW (or 2 of her colleagues who are very pro homebirth) with me, one-on-one keeping me calm, drinking tea and enjoying ourselves, rather than being left alone in the hospital for hours is the real reason I want to be at home. My MW is so laid back. She is very experienced and very calm - the perfect aide to birth!!

My hubby will also be a wreck and very on edge at the hospital I also don't think it's fair that he would be so excluded in the whole process (having to leave outside of visiting hrs once lo is here etc.) At least at home, he will have the opportunty to deliver the baby (haven't decided this yet) if he wants to, and he will be allowed to go through every part of it with me.

Anyways, that's more than enough rambling from me!! Xxxx

 

[Mervs Mum]

Welcome BabyHaines!

 

[carries]

Im so excited for all the ladies planning a homebirth...especially those further along than me. Cant wait to read all of your lovely birthing stories when the deed is done so to speak.

 

[gina8177]

Hello BabyHaines! It sounds like you are going to have a great support system for your HB.

I was so excited, my DH is finally reading the baby book that I have. After 3 months of stating that there is no way he would "catch" the baby he came home yesterday and said that he is now thinking about it after reading the benefits in the book. I was so happy!

 

[Celesse]

FXing my fingers for good iron levels!

I agree with your DH, if you MIL is nervous and not supportive of the idea then having here there could have a negative impact on your birth. Her fear and doubts could rub off on you during times where you need support. I would explain this to your MIL and let her know that she needs to trust you and the MW and if anything goes wrong, you'll transfer to the hospital. If you think that her attitude towards HB will cause her to have negative feelings and worries during the birth then you might want to look into someone else. Is there any one else who could be your female birth partner? Could you hire a doula?

I have MIL all to myself tomorrow when OH and FIL are picking up the cot from Ikea. Plan is to be in the middle of sorting out my birth box and to have a few tabs open with "why home birth is safe" pages up.

MIL lost one of her babies a few hours after birth (he had a heart problem and was wisked away to surgery, but didn't make it) and OH went blue before leaving labour ward and had to spend some time on SCBU, so she has her reasons for being worried about a home birth. Also she isn't one of these who will read up on stuff (she doesn't even have a pc, let alone internet, and probably thinks google is something you wear on your face for swimming) so I am going to try and gently educate on home birth. She deserves the benefit of the doubt given her own birth experiences, and needs someone to give her the information on the safety of home births.

That said if she can't over come her own fears we are going to be in a difficult predicament.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Sounds like a good plan Celesse. You can understand her reservations given her own experiences but even being in a hospital didnt make any difference to her first LO (not that Id say that to her obviously) and who's to say why your OH had problems....you could talk it round all day. I think some subtle education on the benefits etc might be reassuring to her but I'd say to her that if she cant get past her own fears, maybe it's not a good idea to have her there. You really dont want to be worrying about her when you need to be relaxing and getting the best from being at home to have your LO.

 

[BabyHaines]

I wonder if anyone could help quell this fear I have.....
I am starting to become aware that lo may not be born screaming (like in the films....!!) but may need a bit of gentle encouragement from the MW. Am I right in thinking that so long as the cord and placenta are still in tact, baby is still receiving the oxygen they need?? (i.e. Whilst MW is trying to get baby going??xxxx

 

[Mervs Mum]

babies are supposed to be purple. That's the colour they are in you. They also are not 'supposed' to be born screaming.....as you correctly said, that's in the movies. My last 2 didn't cry for a good few minutes. The cord should be left intact for this reason. Its breathing for them until the lungs are stimulated. If you have a nice calm gentle birth they are less likely to scream. The change in temperature ie.
the colder outside air, stimulates their cold crying reflex so they don't need wrapping immediately. Its actually helpful to let them feel the temperature change. Their muscle tone is more important. If they are very limp then some gentle rubbing will help them.

What you said about the placenta is correct though so there is no immediate panic while the babies important first 'blood transfusion' takes place. Being in a squatting position or similar will send all the oxygenated blood through the cord even quicker which again stimulates the lungs. They have been breathing this way ie via the placenta all their life so we just have to be a little patient while nature helps them figure out the 'adult' way of breathing.

 

[Mervs Mum]

oh and they are much more likely to need resuscitation in hospital than at a HB. I'm in bed on my phone right now but when I get the laptop on I'll get you the proper figure. This is thought to be because Mum's giving birth at home have not had the intervention of the more powerful pain relief that passes to the baby.

 

[Mervs Mum]

found it in the book next to my bed!

Almost 4 times more likely to need resuscitation in hospital births than home.... That's from a study of 1046 couples matched by age, number of babies, socio-economic backgrounds etc.

 

[BabyHaines]

OMG!! 4 times more likely!! That's frightening.
Thank you - I kinda knew, but it sounds so scary when they talk about 'resusitation' straight after birth
I am (if all goes well) hoping to leave the cord attached to bubs until it stops pulsating. I am hoping to be able to keep bubs skin to skin and BF until I deliver the placenta.
I feel that the placenta deserves a little more respect than it usually gets and was amazed at the nutrients still available to bubs while it's still 'working'.

This makes me feel a bit better. I know that it is natures way, but I have had so many people look at me like I'm crazy when I say I want a homebirth for my first, that I was starting to doubt things.

Ooooh, this might sound silly, but was wondering if we could have a little 'hoping for a homebirth' blinkie?? I think there's quite a few potential homebirthers that don't even know this bits here xx

 

[Mervs Mum]

There's not many beneficial reasons to clamp early in a normal delivery. The baby NEEDS that blood that transfuses across the pulsating placenta.

I have a link to some interesting info about cord clamping. It's quite heavy going as it's a medical report aimed at obgyns and other health professionals BUT if you wade through it you'll probably find it very reassuring and interesting. I've summarised in my previous reply but this is where I got my info from

https://www.obgyn.net/pregnancy-birth/pregnancy-birth.asp?page=/pb/articles/neonatal-resuscitation

 

[BabyHaines]

Thanks for that info.
I am starting yo get really excited about my labour. I don't want to be frightened of it. I want to be in control and strong. It is the mist natural thing in the world and I just need to keep this PMA up!!
I may start sorting out a 'birth box' soon too. I actually can't wait!!xxxx

 

[Mervs Mum]

It's great that you're feeling excited!! It IS something to look forward to. I looked forward to it last time and I'm positively itching for it to happen this time. It WILL be great. You are in control and you're going to find out exactly how wonderful and amazing your body is by allowing it to do what it was designed to do. It's the final fantastic part of this journey from conception when your OH gave you the most incredible gift, to your LOs birth when you can complete the cycle by returning this most precious gift to him

 

[BabyHaines]

What a lovely way to look at it
I think the other thing that had me worried, was that many of the HB stories tend to be from secondtime + mums. It seems rarer to find a first time mum story, but I guess it makes sense ??

 

[Mervs Mum]

I think it probably is true to say there are more 2nd and subsequent babies born at home these days but that wasnt the case before the trend for hospital births. I think it's because we are so bombarded with these negative, medicalised births that first time mums are bound to be more anxious about going for it at home with their first. My mum and all her siblings were born at home, from the first to the last - that's just how it was, I guess.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Who is planning on getting their OH to catch/deliver their baby?

Is it their idea or yours?

If you have already had a HB, did your OH catch/delivery the baby?

 

[pinkmummy]

OH didn't he didnt want to either but at least he got a head on view this time with Caitlin he just watched her head come out from over the top of me, not the full frontal view! x

 

[Mervs Mum]

How did he feel about that? The 'full view' I mean. I didnt want my hubby to go down the business end and TBH I dont this time either! He sat behind me on the toilet supporting me in front of him on the birth stool. He got the same view I did