Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[Pops]

Oh and regarding 1st time mum's not knowing how much 'pain' they can handle.....you wont be using that word for much longer once you get into the Hypnobirthing mind set - the way you post you are already moving in that direction

The great thing about planning a HB is that you can change your mind at any point - if you decide that the hypno techniques or maybe the G&A arent enough to get you through, then you just say so and they transfer you - simple. However you will not be able to go to the hospital, find you are handling it really well, wish you were at home and ask a MW to accompany you! So even if your not 100% it's probably better to plan for it and change your mind than not bother and always wonder if it could have been better/different

x

Those two points are so valid Lisa and ones we are already using when people say we are nuts or other choice words!

I don't think about it in terms of pain, I never have.

And we would far rather plan for our HB and find we have to go to hospital rather than settle for hospital to keep everyone else happy and forever regret not going with our wishes.

xxx

 

[Mervs Mum]

My thoughts entirely.

 

[purple_socks]

Oh and regarding 1st time mum's not knowing how much 'pain' they can handle.....you wont be using that word for much longer once you get into the Hypnobirthing mind set - the way you post you are already moving in that direction

The great thing about planning a HB is that you can change your mind at any point - if you decide that the hypno techniques or maybe the G&A arent enough to get you through, then you just say so and they transfer you - simple. However you will not be able to go to the hospital, find you are handling it really well, wish you were at home and ask a MW to accompany you! So even if your not 100% it's probably better to plan for it and change your mind than not bother and always wonder if it could have been better/different

x

Those two points are so valid Lisa and ones we are already using when people say we are nuts or other choice words!

I don't think about it in terms of pain, I never have.

And we would far rather plan for our HB and find we have to go to hospital rather than settle for hospital to keep everyone else happy and forever regret not going with our wishes.

xxx

agreed.

on the subject of going to hospital because its ur first birth and u don't know how u'll find it: u can always transfer to hospital at any point if u change ur mind abt HB (which, speaking from experience is surprisingly easy to do...in my opinion far easier that having to travel to hospital mid labour, in a car 4 a planned hospital birth) but u can't start off in hospital then transfer home if u change ur mind abt hospital birth.

 

[gina8177]

Hey lovely, good to see you in here

We have done so much reading up the past few days that we are feeling more and more sure each day that the only way we will go the hospital route is for medical reasons and as you know this is our first baby.

One person I know personally who had a home birth with her 2nd has advised me against it which I actually found surprising as she had a wonderful experience but her reason is that it is our first and I don't know how much pain I can handle......I can see what she is saying but I am not sure it is reason enough not to if it is what we want

I believe if I am calm enough and my Boyo is calm enough, and we have done all we can to prepare, my body will take over and I will deal with it because I will have to. I know it will be painful but I also know that there will be an end to it and my goodness, will it all be worth it.

I'd be keen to know what those books and CDs are girls if you wouldn't mind sharing the details?

xxx

I can't stand it when people say that whole you don't know how much pain you can handle comment. It is almost setting you up for failure. We know that it isn't going to be easy, but we are committed to it because we know it is worth it.

 

[gina8177]

We had our gender scan today and we are officially on team blue! I am so excited!!! Still in shock that it was a boy, lol.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/cowboy_and_roxy/sets/72157623304824781/

https://www.babyandbump.com/pregnancy-second-trimester/274957-time-guess-bump-updated-page-1-a.html

 

[Shifter]

Wow, took me ages to catch up!

ER - I am still shocked, appalled and outraged about the treatment you have received. From a legal standpoint, HPs are obliged to provide you with evidence for any arguments they present you with. If your cons can't back up this claim that high BMI carries increased risk of PPH then he needs to be sanctioned by RCOG. Simple as. I would strongly advise contacting AIMS and making a formal complaint about your treatment.

Remember that if at any point you decide not to "fight" for your rights that does not mean giving up your HB. You can have a HB without fighting for it. Simply put it in writing that you are having one and expect a MW to attend when you are in labour. That's it. No further dialogue required. No more meetings, phone calls, letters. Nothing. That's all you really need to do. Personally it is what I would do. I would get on with my pregnancy in peace and leave the fighting until afterwards!! It's what I may have to do, every day I get more nervous about the future of IMs in the UK

Eoz - with your history of OP babies I would recommend seeing an osteopath or chiropractor to see if you have any alignment issues that may be causing malpositioning. I saw an osteopath after Jack's arrival and she found torsion in my spine which may have caused the problems I encountered. I feel very strongly about this!! If there is a problem and you get it fixed then your labour is likely to be easier and significantly less risk of complications. I know of one woman who had 4 caesarians for malpositioning before seeing an osteopath. Her fifth baby was born at home in the pool It's my new top tip when people ask! I think every pregnant woman should get their spine and pelvis looked at.

I would offer up my books to the "home birth library" lol but they are currently on loan to my SIL. When I get them back I'll offer them up for loan so that there are extra copies available to peeps

 

[NattieLou]

Congratulations, Gina! I was also totally in shock that we were having a boy - I really felt like this baby was a girl. I have loved bonding with out little boy though, and I am so excited to be meeting him soon.

Happy Valentine's day to all of you. I hope you all have wonderful days, and that all the pregnant first time mums especially cherish this last vday when it's just you and your beloved.

 

[Bournefree]

Wow, took me ages to catch up!

ER - I am still shocked, appalled and outraged about the treatment you have received. From a legal standpoint, HPs are obliged to provide you with evidence for any arguments they present you with. If your cons can't back up this claim that high BMI carries increased risk of PPH then he needs to be sanctioned by RCOG. Simple as. I would strongly advise contacting AIMS and making a formal complaint about your treatment.

Remember that if at any point you decide not to "fight" for your rights that does not mean giving up your HB. You can have a HB without fighting for it. Simply put it in writing that you are having one and expect a MW to attend when you are in labour. That's it. No further dialogue required. No more meetings, phone calls, letters. Nothing. That's all you really need to do. Personally it is what I would do. I would get on with my pregnancy in peace and leave the fighting until afterwards!! It's what I may have to do, every day I get more nervous about the future of IMs in the UK

Thanks Shifter.
This is really importnat ladies - I don't want to give the impression that everyone has to FIGHT for a Homebirth. You don't at all. You can walk away, enjoy your pregnancy, and still have your HB. All you need is the right number of who to call when you go into labour.
xxx

 

[Bournefree]

We had our gender scan today and we are officially on team blue! I am so excited!!! Still in shock that it was a boy, lol.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/cowboy_and_roxy/sets/72157623304824781/

https://www.babyandbump.com/pregnancy-second-trimester/274957-time-guess-bump-updated-page-1-a.html

Amazing pictures of yor scan Gina!!!! Congratulations on finding out you are having a little boy!!!
xx

 

[BabyHaines]

Happy Valentines day my lovelies!!
I'm planning a quiet day in with hubby, but am going to cook a nice roast....mmmm!!

On the HB library subject, I had an idea.....
The wonderful Carries is lending me two books, which will save me having to buy them. Therefore, I will obviously cover postage for them and happily forward them on to whichever address I'm told to afterwards.
However, I wad thinking that maybe we could find a baby charity that have the option of receiving small online donations. Then, when we borrow a book, we could make a little nominal donation to the charity??
Also, it means that if whoever posted the books didn't want/need the postage re-paid, they could choose to donate instead IYSWIM??
Does that make sense??

I just thought it would be a nice token gesture, as I wad willing to pay for the Hypnobirthing book, but now I don't need to and I'm getting to read another book too.
Therefore, I would be happy to pay the postage to whoever is sending it and a small donation to the charity. If the sender decides that they would rather donate the postage, then I'd do that.....

I hope that makes sense and I hope it doesn't offend?? I only mean minimal amounts (whatever people can afford) in order to keep it reasonable, and maybe the person posting can use a PM to say whether they would like the postage or would like to donate it (so to avoid having to tell u all).

This may be a pants idea, so feel free to tell me to shut up....!!xxxx

 

[Bournefree]

I think that is a fab idea.
Have you got a charity in mind?
I'm going to do some digging.. as I can't think of any off the top of my head - would be nice to support HBers.
xxx

 

[BabyHaines]

Was wondering about a HB charity or maybe Bliss??

On a side note....I have woken up feeling really dizzy and a bit 'out of focus' (I'm having to really concentrate to type this....!!)
Is this quite normal??xxxx

 

[Mervs Mum]

I think a donation is a nice idea. Whenever I give anything away or lend anything out, people will often say 'can I give you anything for it?' - I tend to say stick a quid in a charity box. So yeah that's a nice idea

 

[Pops]

Oooooh Pops, are you off out anywhere nice??

xxxx

Hey lovely

I only just remembered you had asked this

I was surprised yesterday morning with breakfast in bed and 2 little boxes which held a beautiful Links Bracelet and a Baby on Board charm and was told that there was a booking at our favourite little restaurant in town so we dropped the bits off at Linsk to be put on, done some shopping and had a lovely long leisurely lunch The reason was to say thank you for looking after our little one which of course, had me in

I hope you all have lovely days today, we are off to my parents for one of Mumsys legendary sunday lunchs and her home baking which I have been craving all week!

I love the charity idea too, it is really lovely

xxx

 

[MandaAnda]

I love the charity donation idea. Obviously, if there's a HB charity out there, that'd probably make the most sense. If there's not, I also think Bliss is brilliant - they're one of the few charities out there that I've seen that actively help who they're supposed to (the amount of free leaflets and assistance they give in my job is unbelievable; and they're a great resource for the parents as well).

 

[Rachiebaby24]

Oh and regarding 1st time mum's not knowing how much 'pain' they can handle.....you wont be using that word for much longer once you get into the Hypnobirthing mind set - the way you post you are already moving in that direction

The great thing about planning a HB is that you can change your mind at any point - if you decide that the hypno techniques or maybe the G&A arent enough to get you through, then you just say so and they transfer you - simple. However you will not be able to go to the hospital, find you are handling it really well, wish you were at home and ask a MW to accompany you! So even if your not 100% it's probably better to plan for it and change your mind than not bother and always wonder if it could have been better/different

x

I agree! I wanted a homebirth with Maley (dont even know why i just really wanted to be at home) but my OH was against it because tbh I am a bit of a wimp when it comes to pain and we wasnt sure how i would cope. But the thing is, its not like a pain when you cut your finger or bang your leg, it takes over you. As long as you remain relaxed and go with it, you will cope. For me the worst part is transition as then i really thought i couldnt take no more and thats the point that i went to hospital. But me going to hospital didnt help in any way so there was no point really.

I went into labour at my mums house, stayed there for 2 hours then trasferred to hospital for the final hour before having Maley. I think if i was at home, i probably would have stayed at home!

 

[MandaAnda]

Good point, Rachie. This is one of the mantra-like things I took from Juju Sundin's Birth Skills (happy to loan out, by the way). It's not a sick pain where you need to be in hospital, want to curl up into a ball and have some medication to take the pain away because something is wrong. It's a healthy pain. It's a pain that goes quicker if you're active. You're working towards something at the end of it (the baby), so it accomplishes something. The pain is only from a muscle (your uterus) getting tired from working so hard.

I've told DH to remind me off all of this, and that if I start freaking out, saying I can't do it any more, etc., please don't suggest hospital to me (as I might agree at that point) but realise that I'm likely in transition and remind me that we're closer than ever to getting to see our baby (and I'm hoping the midwives recognise this as well!).

 

[EternalRose]

Thanks for the support Shifter..your right whatever happens I am going to book for the homebirth. I will still go to this meeting, as I think I will feel better if I get the midwives on my side e.t.c I will let you all know when the meeting is, and what the outcome was..

I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Valentines Day..we are having a steak supper tonight, nice cut....I swear it looks like I will be eating the whole cow tonight..

What is everyone else doing, or what did you all get?

Oh and I like the idea of the charity BabyHaines..

I think a few pages back Babyhaines mentioned she is going to get tested for Group B strep, has anyone else been tested for it? Its not been mentioned to me at all yet...

EternalRose x x

 

[carries]

Good point, Rachie. This is one of the mantra-like things I took from Juju Sundin's Birth Skills (happy to loan out, by the way). It's not a sick pain where you need to be in hospital, want to curl up into a ball and have some medication to take the pain away because something is wrong. It's a healthy pain. It's a pain that goes quicker if you're active. You're working towards something at the end of it (the baby), so it accomplishes something. The pain is only from a muscle (your uterus) getting tired from working so hard.

I've told DH to remind me off all of this, and that if I start freaking out, saying I can't do it any more, etc., please don't suggest hospital to me (as I might agree at that point) but realise that I'm likely in transition and remind me that we're closer than ever to getting to see our baby (and I'm hoping the midwives recognise this as well!).

This book was a god send to me and is heavily highlighted (sorry MM hope it doesnt put you off when reading!). I am sending it to Mervs mum tomorrow but sure she will post it on once read.

While I think about it, im not sure if any of you are in the nottingham area but there is a homebirthing group that meets once a month here that also lend out literature etc. Pm me if it is of any interest to anyone

 

[MandaAnda]

Good point, Rachie. This is one of the mantra-like things I took from Juju Sundin's Birth Skills (happy to loan out, by the way). It's not a sick pain where you need to be in hospital, want to curl up into a ball and have some medication to take the pain away because something is wrong. It's a healthy pain. It's a pain that goes quicker if you're active. You're working towards something at the end of it (the baby), so it accomplishes something. The pain is only from a muscle (your uterus) getting tired from working so hard.

I've told DH to remind me off all of this, and that if I start freaking out, saying I can't do it any more, etc., please don't suggest hospital to me (as I might agree at that point) but realise that I'm likely in transition and remind me that we're closer than ever to getting to see our baby (and I'm hoping the midwives recognise this as well!).

This book was a god send to me and is heavily highlighted (sorry MM hope it doesnt put you off when reading!). I am sending it to Mervs mum tomorrow but sure she will post it on once read.

I meant that I have the book as well and would also be happy to loan out my copy.

ER, I think they only tend to test for GBS if you present during pregnancy with any problems. I think they routinely do them in the US but not here (due to cost), although you can get your own done for about £30.