Lucy Elizabeth is here. I didn't get my homebirth. I'm crying just trying to type this. I fought so so hard for it. Went in to hospital early in my labour for monitoring because I'd had a small bleed. Looking now it was probably my bloody show. Was on CTG for about 6 hours, luckily I was able to remain standing, walking, sitting, anything I liked, and I was introduced to the wonders of gas and air! There was nothing disastrously wrong with the trace, but my blood pressure was up a bit (really? I'm in labour and in hospital which I hate) so they were worried about pre-eclampsia, I let them have blood samples and then checked myself out against medical advice - they weren't happy - sent the registrar in to see me, then when that didn't work sent in some doom sayer consultant, but that didn't stop me either. I had had a VE about 6am and I was 3cm and very thin so I knew I really was in labour.
I had to leave my beloved gas and air for the car ride home - ouch! Paul had been preparing the birth pool prior to us going up to hospital so it was almost ready when we got back, and the community MWs were on their way to us, by this time it must have been about 10.30am. I got in the pool before the MWs arrived but I was in pain and had to do something. Got through about half an hour by crying and moaning and breathing before they arrived, mercifully with gas and air - bloody love that stuff.
Initially the MW was really stuffy, uptight and a miserable cow. I remember leaning over to Lisa (Mervs Mum) and saying the latter to her. Once she checked my temperature, took my blood pressure (which was absolutely fine), and listened to baby, she realised I wasn't dying, and she came round and turned out to be absolutely fabulous. I had another VE about that point - she was a bit annoyed I was in the pool when she arrived, but I was still very definitely in labour and when she checked me I was 5cm.
I had 3 MWs with me all morning, they were all amazing. I had gas and air, and Paul and Lisa looking after me, bringing me drinks, wiping my face, topping up the pool. It was all going like I wanted to. I loved the gas and air, I was zoned out quite a lot of the time, the day flew by, until it was the next night. All the signs were good, baby's HR fine, my temp and blood pressure fine - lower in labour than ever before! I just wasn't getting any urge to push and I was getting really tired and in pain. I ended up asking for some meptid. I kept labouring in the pool, trying different positions for hours and hours.
I was examined again late at night and I was over 9cm dilated but waters still intact. The MW asked if she could break my waters to get things going. This terrified me as I knew I'd been in much more pain, so I asked for more meptid. I'd already had the 2 doses you're allowed so the MW had to get permission from the hospital but I got my meptid and I had my waters broken.
Apparently there was meconium. Don't know how much or how old. Contractions were coming on thick and strong and I was in a load of pain and so so tired by this point. I was starting to feel sick on the gas and air, so wasn't getting any pain relief by this point. Had to make the decision to transfer to hospital. Ambulance and 2 paramedic cars arrived (must have been a quiet night) and I struggled into some clothes and into the ambulance.
I was sick immediately we got to the hospital, vomiting into the sink - classy. I felt so sick after that I couldn't use the gas and air, and the next hour was basically just me screaming continuously as contraction after contraction came with no break between them. They had me on the CTG monitor on the bed and the baby was fine. I had the most painful VE ever, the consultant must have been shaking hands with the baby, I was literally screaming "get him off me, make him stop" and trying to pull myself away from him up the bed. It was hideous.
He determined that my baby had stuck her chin out. I was pretty much fully dilated, just a lip of cervix left, and the baby wasn't pressing on it properly to open. I had been in labour over 24 hours by this point and was in absolute awful pain. I was labelled failure to progress and off I went for a c-section.
I won't lie, the spinal was a relief. But the section was hideously awful. I was vomiting everywhere despite being given anti sickness drugs. I didn't get any skin to skin with her, I don't even remember really seeing her in theatre, just seeing a few glimpses of her in Paul's arms but I had to keep turning my head the other way to vomit. And putting everything back and stitching me up seemed to take ages.
I was wheeled to the delivery suite after, and I remember Lisa having her in her arms, and talking to me, and I said I hadn't even seen her yet, and I could see she was shocked and upset that I hadn't even seen my own baby, and it was her who stripped all the blankets off her, and pulled my tshirt up and stuck her on my chest. I don't remember clearly much about this point, I was so out of it, but I remember a rush of love as she was placed on me.
Lucy Elizabeth was born at 3.25am on 22nd by emergency c-section weighing 8lb 14oz.
My blood test results from labour showed no pre-eclampsia but did show raised white blood cells suggesting an infection somewhere, although I felt completely fine and still do. So both Lucy and myself were given antibiotics. We ended up staying in the horrible hospital for 4 days. The staff were bloody amazing, I have to give that to them. They were so so busy but were so so kind. They knew I was struggling with breastfeeding and spent hours helping me with it. It was just so hot and I was in a tiny tiny corner cubicle and feeling like the walls were closing in on me. I kept having to have blood taken over and over again and they could never get a vein, so I look like a second hand dartboard. Lucy was also heel pricked again and again, and had a catheter in her hand to put in iv antibiotics. My blood pressure went up and up.
Eventually got out of there. So glad to be home. But so many hurtful memories at home, looking round my living room, remembering my labour, thinking about how close I was to having her here. It hurts so much. I'm trying not to be selfish, I know the end result is a healthy baby and a healthy mum, but my hopes and dreams were dashed, and I had the one thing I dreaded most, a c-section. I'm absolutely gutted about not being able to drive for 6 weeks either, I'm so independent and this will kill me.
We're still struggling with breastfeeding and have seen an independent breastfeeding advisor and the area's NHS infant feeding specialist. Lucy is tongue tied which explains the difficulties with latching. We are overcoming the problem by feeding with a nipple shield, much to the disapproval of the NHS lady, but really, what choice do I have? The long term plan is to get the tie separated and get her latching onto the nipple, and get rid of the guard. I'm also expressing which I started in hospital, and I keep up with, just so I have EBM around in case I ever can't get her to latch on, and also to keep up my milk supply.
I'm so happy to have her, but so so upset about how everything went, it's taking the shine off things. It also doesn't help that Lucy has decided she should sleep all day, then wake up between 11pm and 2am and be wide awake and either feeding, pooing, winding or crying. I can deal with it, I'm accepting of it, but Paul's really struggling with it. How can we gradually ease her away from the 11pm to 2am waking?
Oh and congratulations JD. You made me cry looking at the picture. That should have been me. So so happy for you
So that's my first birth story in full. I'm buying the next one off ebay!
Emma x
which would be done after the home visit but before babys birth if we get this house..
. Congrats on your little girl 
congratulations on your BFP!
I tend to glance over third tri every now and again but on the whole try to avoid it as i am particularly short tempered at the mo and it doesn't take much to 'set me off' 
) COme on contractions, sort yourselves out!
