Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[lesleyann]

Well I have my next app in 2weeks then on the 27th Is my home assesment for my home water birth! Mw seems nice enough she said I am to ring up as soon as I start getting contractions, since my contractions dont become regular yet I dilate fast. Baby is head down, im measuring bang on dates, she said my belly is all baby.. Ive lost weight since my booking in appointment.. All my bloods and urine came back great so, so far so good

 

[irish_cob]

Thanks everyone. Yeah peanut - she had stuck her chin out so wasn't presenting to be born. I was over 9.5cm dilated so had basically completed stage 1 of my labour but there was no urge to push, and I don't think there ever would have been with her chin sticking out.

She's 8 days old today, and I'm feeling odd. In my 20s I went through a phase of depression where I was constantly worried about being alone and lonely, and I'm feeling the same now. I'm worried Paul is going to go back to work and I'll be all on my own with her and desolate and alone. Stupid eh? We're having a quiet day today, dozing in front of the telly, and I'm beating myself up about that. Silly because I have a hectic weekend planned, Lisa is coming tomorrow for the post-birth de brief, and then we're going to a work meet-up at one of my colleague's houses, and then on Sunday my Mum and sister are coming over because it's my birthday, then on Monday I'm meeting the NCT lot, so I'm not really going to be alone and lonely. Just hormones I suppose, I keep bursting into tears and wondering if I've made a huge mistake. It doesn't help that she sleeps all day, only wakes up to feed, but then is awake constantly from about 10pm to 3am, it's very draining. Anyone want to be my buddy? Anyone got any tips?

 

[ljo1984]

urgh i feel for you! imogen was like this for about 6 weeks! i tried a few things but think she just realised she had the night and day the wrong way around and sorted herself out! it was such a frustrating period though, especially as oh would be snoring away while i was awake, and blamed it on the fact that id decided to BF!! er shes wasnt feeding all the time she was awake!! grrrr. hope she sleeps better for you soon and your hormones sort themselves out (the lack of sleep wont be helping them either! big hugs. xxxx

 

[cranberry987]

Oh I'll be your buddy! But I have absolutely no advice I'm afraid. Hopefully your mood improves in a few days once the hormones are settling.

Bug hugs

X

 

[FlowerFairy]

Aww Irish, having a new baby is immensely overwhelming hun. It's totally normal to feel teary and worry about OH going back to work. You're doing the right thing by keeping busy and having plans , but also try a day at home just you and baby! You'll realise that sometimes those quiet snuggly days are great to catch your breath after visits etc. As for being awake at night, she'll gradually start to turn that round. She will learn day and night. At night always keep the room dark and relaxed and keep the day light and vibrant and she will start to turn it around. Some people say nor to talk to them when feeding at night to help her learn to sleep but I could never resist lol!!!
You'll be a brilliant mummy, it just takes time to take on this huge change xxxxx

 

[Blah11]

i got the 'you're mad' comment from our wards FY2 today She asked where I was having my baby and thought I was absolutely crazy for having a homebirth and said 'omg, change your mind now'! idiot.

 

[allaboard]

Irish cob - it's such a HUGE undertaking, and as someone who has previously had significant bouts of anxiety and depression, i can definitely sympathise with what you must be going through. If i think about it hard enough, i can see i will worry about lonleyness when OH goes back to work too, and i brought my son up all alone last time so i should know better!! I'm hoping i'll just be grateful for company on an evening!!!! Babies don't know the difference between night and day, so it's just a matter of routine over the coming weeks and months; keeping night time calm, dark as possible, quiet and relaxing. During the day just carry on as normal, don't be afraid of running the hoover around and having the music or telly on. I always thought that a massage (google some techniques) if you dont want to bath every night and changing into another set of clothes was helpful in signifying bedtime. It WILL fall into place, be reassured by us experienced mum's that have been through the same, it just takes time and patience. There's nothing that can't be undone or cant be solved, so don't worry and get anxious about doing things right. Enjoy your baby x

 

[Blah11]

irish - maybe just a bit of the good old baby blues. Hopefully once you get more used to being a new mum they'll go away but keep a check on it and if you need to go to GP or HV about it - do so.

 

[ljo1984]

i got the 'you're mad' comment from our wards FY2 today She asked where I was having my baby and thought I was absolutely crazy for having a homebirth and said 'omg, change your mind now'! idiot.

That was nice of her!! Our physio aske the reg where she was having her baby and she said the other hospital in Leeds and they were chatting about it, I was thinking please dont ask me cause I got the feeling they were all for hospital births. Luckily I had to go do something. Can't be bothered with having to justify myself to people I hardly know and why do I need to justify it anyway! Grrrr. Xx

 

[Rebaby]

irish cob

You're doing much better than you think you are, i assure you i was very 'cushioned' in Toby's first days as we were in hospital for 5 days and although i felt lonely in the evenings and would get weepy when OH had to go home, i was also very 'looked after' We had very few visitors because they wanted to wait for us to get home first, all my meals were fetched to me in my side room, i had an en suite bathroom, and everything was just right there, to hand where i wanted it. When we got home it felt very different and i felt quite lost and like i wasn't actually prepared for this baby at all! I had a serious case of the weepies the first couple of days at home, i worried about everything possible and cried over everything, both happy and sad and started to panic about OH going back to work. Within days i felt brighter though, and there was no magic cure, i think sometimes you just have to go through it and come out the other side

Toby wasn't what most people would call a 'good' sleeper, and fed hourly for the first few weeks, day or night, he was on the boob, and then he'd need winding and settling down, so then i'd have maybe 20 minutes to doze before he'd start stirring again. You do feel like you might start to go a bit insane with lack of sleep, and night times can be such a lonely time, especially if your OH is anything like mine and slept through most of it you feel like you're the only person in the world wide awake with a crying baby, but you're not, and things really do get easier

Hope you're feeling brighter soon.

As for us- apart from really NOT enjoying this horrible heat wave, we're doing good 37 weeks today so officially 'full term' and 'eligible' for our home birth I am contemplating a clary sage bath later but it's not really bath weather is it?!

 

[Blah11]

i got the 'you're mad' comment from our wards FY2 today She asked where I was having my baby and thought I was absolutely crazy for having a homebirth and said 'omg, change your mind now'! idiot.

That was nice of her!! Our physio aske the reg where she was having her baby and she said the other hospital in Leeds and they were chatting about it, I was thinking please dont ask me cause I got the feeling they were all for hospital births. Luckily I had to go do something. Can't be bothered with having to justify myself to people I hardly know and why do I need to justify it anyway! Grrrr. Xx

I know! For working with a bunch of nurses, doctors and other HCPs, they're not very supportive of some of my choices. A few of them have totally slated me breastfeeding my toddler too

 

[ljo1984]

All the nursing staff and hca's have been fine and ask loads of questions. One friend said it sound magical cause the Christmas tree will be up and stuff ha ha and my ward manager was a mw for many years, attending alot of hb's and she is fantastic and really supportive of my plans, even said I'd ring her if community mw's can't get out etc ha ha. X

 

[fides]

our birth pool came in the mail!!

 

[ljo1984]

our birth pool came in the mail!!

aw jealous much ha ha! im on the look out for a second hand one! bid on a couple of la bassines on ebay but lost out! which did you get? xx

 

[Rebaby]

i got the 'you're mad' comment from our wards FY2 today She asked where I was having my baby and thought I was absolutely crazy for having a homebirth and said 'omg, change your mind now'! idiot.

That was nice of her!! Our physio aske the reg where she was having her baby and she said the other hospital in Leeds and they were chatting about it, I was thinking please dont ask me cause I got the feeling they were all for hospital births. Luckily I had to go do something. Can't be bothered with having to justify myself to people I hardly know and why do I need to justify it anyway! Grrrr. Xx

I know! For working with a bunch of nurses, doctors and other HCPs, they're not very supportive of some of my choices. A few of them have totally slated me breastfeeding my toddler too

You have my sympathy i was saying to ljo recently that i have just not told anyone at work about our HB plans this time because i cba dealing with their negativity. Because they're all neonatal nurses/drs they have a totally skewed perception of pregnancy and birth and i'd say about 99% of them would think i was totally crackers for wanting a HB. I was chatting to a student mw on our unit about water birth and one of my colleagues said "OMG, that's just cruel!" WTF?!

our birth pool came in the mail!!

Ooooh so exciting!

I had a clary sage bath last night. It occured to me when i was getting in there that aromatherapy probably doesn't work when your nose is so bunged up that you can't smell!

My cold is finishing up now i think, i am just still a bit groggy and my throat is sore, so hopefully i'll be able to smell again in a couple of days!

 

[Shiv]

our birth pool came in the mail!!

aw jealous much ha ha! im on the look out for a second hand one! bid on a couple of la bassines on ebay but lost out! which did you get? xx

I will be selling my La Bassine if you're interested? I haven't checked out what the going rate is yet.

 

[lesleyann]

I keep looking on ebay for mine and always miss at the last minute too lol sucks dont it!

 

[Blah11]

i got mine on gumtree so look out on there guys £30 for a la bassine and all the extras.. bargain! Just need to do a dry run and buy a liner :\

 

[ljo1984]

our birth pool came in the mail!!

aw jealous much ha ha! im on the look out for a second hand one! bid on a couple of la bassines on ebay but lost out! which did you get? xx

I will be selling my La Bassine if you're interested? I haven't checked out what the going rate is yet.

Yeh let me know when you've sorted out a price etc. Xx

 

[fides]

our birth pool came in the mail!!

aw jealous much ha ha! im on the look out for a second hand one! bid on a couple of la bassines on ebay but lost out! which did you get? xx

the birth pool in a box (the bigger size that has the seat), and i'm so glad i did get that one b/c we tested it last night, and i can stretch my legs out (i'm 6'0" tall), so it was worth the extra $ vs. getting the mini.