Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[Mervs Mum]

My next door neighbour who has had a triple heart bypass has white coat syndrome. He says doesnt 'feel' any different or particularly anxious when he's in a hospital but his BP tells a different story! he would go for check ups and it would be through the roof! In the end they tried sending him home with a BP machine to check it himself and hey presto.....normal BP.....

 

[Bournefree]

Gosh ladies!!.. So much has happened!

Congratulations all round - it sounds as though the HB plans are just falling into place for ER and Mmum!!!!! I'm thrilled to hear you news!

Big congrats to BabyH - Well done honey.. It's all hard work at first, but it soon passes - you two just need to get to know each other. Catch sleep when you can - you'll surprise yourself how little you can feel bright and breezy on!

So sorry Rach, that you feel your HB plans might be no more - remember we are here to support you; I would be inclined to agree with the others and look for possible reasons why that first reading was so high. Keep everything in mind, and then do what you feel you have to do. You will succeed in getting your LO into your arms, no matter what!

Hi to Nightkd!! - I'm sorry but some friends and family are just morons (not just yours - I mean mine were too! haha!)
With my friends friend, who was also pregnant at the time; she was mortified I had planned a homebirth! She unfortunately had a bad hospital birth the first time, and then was left with the feeling she couldn't do without the drs. (fine, if that made her secure - but not for me). She was saying things like "but will they have forceps there, and can you get all the drugs, and what if you were going to die>?" She was scared even before her labour - which is tragic, and will lead her body (imo) down the same path. I said to her (i'm almost ashamed to admit it, but I lied) I just said, "yep, they have all of that at a homebirth" - just because I knew she was so ignorant, she would believe it! (isn't that horrible of me - I do feel really bad about that, as I never lie usually.. I'm usually one of those people that is so frank, it can be brutal!)
But others.. people I really cared about, I informed them of my choices, and affirmed my HB plans with them. I knew they would listen. After all they were concerned for me, and it was genuine concern - even if they didn't really know all about labour and birth at home. Even in hospital your body does all of the work of birthing. You have to have faith, you will do, and you can do it - your body is all set up for it. Just think about all the changes your body has done without your conscious help to prepare you for birth and create this baby.. you have been busy making bones, brain, and a little beating heart - all without you having to think about it - labour and birth is like that; you won't have to think about it.

I'm so pleased there is this support on this group - I've said it before, but I would have loved this group when I was pregnant, as you really can get some odd comments from other people, and it's neither informed or helpful!

Well done everybody!
xxx

 

[nightkd]

Strap yourself in Nightkd because you'll find it even worse over there than over here!!

Have you watched 'The Business of Being Born' yet? The link is on the first page - I;d recommend it to you being in the US.

I had my birth plan from my last baby which was for the Birth Centre and so I have that in the event of transfer but TBH I wouldnt have wrote one otherwise. It's like the packing a bag thing too. I believe very much in PMA and the laws of attraction - 'Ask, Believe, Receive' If I need transferring my hubby knows where everything is and could grab stuff but TBH if I transfer it would only be in the event of a real dire emergency so I cant see me being too bothered about how many baby grows and pairs of knickers I have with me! I'll send him back later. BUT as I said I dont really even think like that because in my mind, it wont happen IYKWIM.....

Yeah, I get that feeling. The MW at the hospital we went to yesterday seemed very supportive, but said that the state (though I know it's not just THIS state) was a bit slow on the uptake.

I'll try and watch it with DH, it sounds interesting. (ETA: Midwife I'm in contact with just recommended it too, lol!)

I'm trying to be pretty open minded about it, I'd rather have a bag packed (so I can feel organised, even if it doesn't get used ) and have a section on my birth plan, because if we end up in hospital I know they'll just try to do everything 'routine' which may end up completely spoiling my idea of bonding time etc...

x

 

[nightkd]

Thanks girls, it's just peeing me off how people are making out like I'm putting Bean and myself in danger, eg one nurse saying "Think of you and your child, you need to be safe"...Like...I haven't considered the safety of me and my baby?!

I've tried explaining to them that I'd be less likely to require interventions if I'm in a relaxed atmosphere and can birth as I wish to - instead of being forced to lay on a bed (the beds I've seen look really narrow too?!) pressured to have drugs I don't want etc etc...I'd rather be at home, birthing as I wish and NOT need interventions, instead of at a hospital so I can be nearby INCASE I need interventions/drugs/etc iykwim?

I guess it's just something I'll have to prove by doing!

x

 

[nightkd]

Double post...

 

[Celesse]

Thanks girls, it's just peeing me off how people are making out like I'm putting Bean and myself in danger, eg one nurse saying "Think of you and your child, you need to be safe"...Like...I haven't considered the safety of me and my baby?!

It really annoys me when people say that. As long as everything is normal I feel both me and baby are safer at home. ..in fact ... I know me and baby are safer at home!

 

[Celesse]

Well ladies I am off for my big fat baby scan this morning.

Hopefully it will be an in-and-out scan with no follow up and I can just get on with the rest of the pregnancy with an idea of how big the baby is if there is a problem. What I don't want is a consultant appointment after the meeting with someone I have never met telling me I have grown a baby too big to birth.

Either way I am gonna rebel after the scan and get a fast food takeaway with extra calories!

 

[MandaAnda]

I hope it all goes well, Celesse. Looking forward to hearing about it.

 

[Vicyi]

Hey for all you England Mummies, do/did/will you get a homebirthing kit/box from the MW and if so what is actually in it? My MW STILL wont talk to me about it for another 2 weeks but id really like to know what I need to buy for it! Any help apreciated! x

 

[urbanbumpkin]

Good luck, Celesse.

And hello, nightkd.

When people have gone "really?" at us saying we are planning a homebirth I have used the "research has shown that home births are just as safe as hospital births in a normal pregnancy and are also likely to have less interventions that may lead to post birth problems with bonding, depression and breasfeeding" line which has stopped any further questioning in its tracks!

I think my Mum and MIL both are a bit uncomfortable with it, but bless them they haven't said a word. And I know my MIL has been googling hypnobirthing and has stopped my FIL recounting any horror stories to us.

My Dad was a bit freaked out and started questioning me a bit but my step-Mum just basically told him to shut up and that it was a good idea!

My husband and I did the hypnobirthing 'fear release' exercise last night, which was really useful and good.

One of the main things that came up was that we want to make sure that if we end up transferring to hospital for any reason, then we want to make sure we are still able to be calm and in control and use the hypnobirthing. In a way it feels like it would be even more important in that situation, than if we are at home.

So we are going to bring it up with the hypnobirth instructor tonight, and get some tips for making sure we stay 'in the zone' if we end up at hospital. And make sure we have a section on our birth plan that is simple and easy to refer to for that eventuality.

Then with that dealt with we can feel like we are prepared, put it to one side, and concentrate on the birth we want to have.

I hope you can get a good outcome over your BP readings, Rach28. My Mum has white coat syndrome. She bought a home reader and took it into the docs and it was the same as their reading, so the doc was happy to accept her home readings. When she does it at home it is much lower. She had really high blood pressure towards the end of her pregnancy with me, but everything was fine - only 3 hours of contractions etc and then I arrived.

 

[nikki-lou25]

I opted for homebirth because of my serious medical phobia...my midwife was amazing and she knew my BP was always higher when I was at hospital. Luckily most my appointments were at the GPs, which I can (after hypnotherapy) just about cope with.
That was another thing I felt I had to explain to people about my choice for HB, I knew that if I went to hospital that the panic would set in - not good for me OR baby. Explain your situation, in my experience they were very understanding! Hopefully they will be able to let you take some home readings which will surely be more accurate!

 

[Mervs Mum]

Urban - my hubby read the hypnobirthing book this week and suggested that the fear release would be a good idea for us to do, so I'm glad you found it useful

 

[urbanbumpkin]

One thing I would say is to make sure you have a little positive time after doing it too, Mervs Mum. Because it is dealing with things that are worrying you, or are negative, then it could be a little depressing if you don't then balance it out with some other stuff!

After we had done it we felt positive because although some of the things are real issues (career and money stuff) they felt deal-able with after a talk, and we were also pleased that we both came up with very similar things and felt like we had a plan. And also that it was good that some things weren't on the list like worrying about differences in parenting styles, or worrying about our relationship.

I'll post tomorrow to let you know what the 'fear release' hypno session was like, I think the idea is that it allows you to acknowledge all that stuff but gives you the equanimity to deal with it, and let it go.

 

[EternalRose]

I have just listened to my natal hypnotherapy CD, I fell asleep during it and I felt a bit disorientated when I woke up but I heard thats a good sign falling asleep? I dont know how many times to listen to it, but I have the birthing music with it as well. x x

 

[urbanbumpkin]

I put my hypnobirthing CD on at bedtime to go to sleep to every night, ER. I asked whether that was a problem and was told it was still going in and was a good way to do it.

But she also said to listen to it at a time when I was more awake a couple of times too, so I heard it all - just so that I would feel like I knew what was on it.

I seem to wake up at the end when the voice is telling me to wake up, but then I fall back asleep again immediately!

 

[EternalRose]

Have you found trying to take the deep breaths in and out is a little bit hard when the baby is resting right up in your ribcage and I was lying down on my left side? I am always out of breath now, so I only have short breaths.. I can see it definately working though. x x

 

[Celesse]

Back from scan and a very long walk. Baby has an estimated weight of 7lb 5. So even if that is an entire pound out is isn't a problem at all. We are gonna keep the estimated weight a secret from family and friends until she is born, it's nice to keep some things private.

I'm glad I got it done as now no-one can worry that she won't fit, since she is nice and average. Only down side I can see is that my bump isn't all baby and I have more work to do after she is here.

 

[gina8177]

That is great news Celesse! It's great that you can cross that one off your list! I am getting super excited.

 

[Bournefree]

Hey for all you England Mummies, do/did/will you get a homebirthing kit/box from the MW and if so what is actually in it? My MW STILL wont talk to me about it for another 2 weeks but id really like to know what I need to buy for it! Any help apreciated! x

I didn't get a kit delivered to me before the HB. The MW bought everything with them while I was in labour.
I do know that some counties do bring a kit to you - perhaps if you are more out in the sticks, so the mw know that you have it? I'm not sure, as I didn't experience it, what goes into one? - help ladies?

I don't remember to clearly all of the stuff they bought to mine at the time, but I did have a brief nosey when they were packing everything back up again after she was born, as they had to roll-call, and signed back in anything they had and hadn't used.
There was loads of it, and it seemed at least 3 or 4 of each; things like Gas and Air, Medi-vac, oxygen (for me and baby), loads of drugs (syntometrine, novocaine, vit k etc), Resuscitation equipment, stitches, suturing needles, scissors for cord cutting, clamps, suction eq, canulars, saline drips (all manner of scary things, that I'm so pleased we didn't use! - but grateful they bought, and more importantly, they didn't let me know they had bought at the time!), plus basic stuff, like all kinds of pads, paper towels and clinical waste bags. Head torches! (they did come in handy!
xxx

 

[Bournefree]

Back from scan and a very long walk. Baby has an estimated weight of 7lb 5. So even if that is an entire pound out is isn't a problem at all. We are gonna keep the estimated weight a secret from family and friends until she is born, it's nice to keep some things private.

I'm glad I got it done as now no-one can worry that she won't fit, since she is nice and average. Only down side I can see is that my bump isn't all baby and I have more work to do after she is here.

Brilliant news hon - another HB plans falling into place!! On the final streach now!xx