Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[Mervs Mum]

I think I used 5 with my first! They had it piped into the room at the birth centre so you had an unlimited supply there.

Celesse - I agree with it being good for the mind set though knowing that you have so much and you want to reserve that for when you feel you really need it.

 

[carries]

Congrats on the birth of Seren Kelly! Well done xx

 

[carries]

ER, you have done so well to stay strong for this long and I have every confidence you will get what you need to out of your meeting. As MM said, be prepared for them to try to scare you but dont let that negativity in!

As for antenatal classes I wouldnt take it personally. They are totally unprepared for homebirths and the midwife who ran mine with Oscar gave out loads of inocrrect info about risks and managed 3rd stages etc...Most of them are hospital midwives, not community so they never see homebirths.

 

[Mervs Mum]

ER, you have done so well to stay strong for this long and I have every confidence you will get what you need to out of your meeting. As MM said, be prepared for them to try to scare you but dont let that negativity in!

As for antenatal classes I wouldnt take it personally. They are totally unprepared for homebirths and the midwife who ran mine with Oscar gave out loads of inocrrect info about risks and managed 3rd stages etc...Most of them are hospital midwives, not community so they never see homebirths.

I totally agree with Carrie and think in your case in particular ER, the MW's dont seem to see birth as a normal healthy process. It's not a medical incident as they seem to see it. You're up against this culture where not only will the MWs not see many normal, gentle non invasive births, they have probably forgotten that they even happen!

 

[EternalRose]

ER - go in prepared for them to chat shit. You know by now that this is an ingrained culture you are dealing with in your area/hospital/trust. I think it speaks volumes that you were the only couple there with a birth plan. That says to me that you are probably the only couple who are well informed and taking the process extremely seriously. Shusshh-ing you says to me that they are used to dishing out the orders and not getting challenged which is EXACTLY why you unnerve them so they have to play dirty and try to scare you. That all they've got because you know the facts they have to try an alternative way of wearing you down or scaring you. Be strong sista

Re the breech thing. Undiagosed breech is very rare indeed. I've obviously had a few convos around this subject recently. You are MUCH more likely to have a misdiagnosed breech than an undiagnosed one ie to be told they are breech when in fact they have a boney bum! I did start to wonder about my own diagnosis at one point but I saw 3 different MWs who all agreed breech presentation and at the scan this week I mentioned it to the MW sonographer who said that my MW is unlikely to have got it wrong - she's been a MW such a long time so experience is a big part. If they are even remotely unsure the will at least get a second opinion and a scan. If you're having a HB they are even more cautious than they would be if you were going to the hospital. They'd rather not have the surprise of a bum presenting at a HB but end then it's not the end of the world. There are some incredible stills of a planned breech HB on the web.

I dont think it's a major concern - it's such a rare occurrence

x

Lisa, I love you, you crack me up! Thanks for your reassurance, I called the midwife I have the meeting with tomorrow and she said she is not going to give a scaremongering chat, thank God! She also told me that it will only be her, me and my fiance. I asked her, " What about the consultant? " ..and she replied " Consultants dont do homebirths" So why the bloody hell did he make a big deal out of me wanting a homebirth then, if he is not even going to be there? I feel better that he wont be there, but ultimately it just makes me feel like he was wasting my time!

So, today at my antenatal class I felt like a goody two shoes with my birth plan and no one else had bought one, but I agree with you it does speak volumes!

Carries - Thanks for your support, I am so glad I have this thread so I can talk to people who have the same plans.

I will let you all know how I get on tomorrow

EternalRose x x

 

[EternalRose]

just to let you all know that i had the baby 2 weeks 1 day early at home, feb 19th!!
couldn't sleep much on thursday night, had what i thought were just more intense braxton hicks so about 2.00am got up had a cup of tea and watch some tele dozing on couch. by 4 am had really bad back ache and more cramping feelings but was not sure they were really contractions as it was far too early! lol!! by 7am they were 5 mins apart and was no doubting baby was on her way! was a bit dissapointed as realised would not have the water birth i wanted and also had no tens machine and no pain relief.
anyway, we rang hospital who said to ring back when closer together but would let on call mw know. they were not even on call for me as this was starting on 22nd. we managed to get in touch with my mw at 9am and contractions were now only a couple of mins apart. i don't think she realised this and was very blase saying she would come round at lunch time! i said i would like her to come sooner and by the time they got here at 10.30am i was 7 cm dilated! she quickly set up stuff and hooked me up to gas and air which i didn't think did much at all but tbh the pain was not that bad. things progressed quickly and not long after the mw arrived i was pushing her out! she got a bit stuck and mw said needed to be cut (ouch!! the inj of local really hurt more than anything else!) anyway was really needed as it turned out the cord was round her neck and she had her hand up over her face like superman! lol!! once they cut me she popped out screaming, only a little after 2 hours of the mw arriving.
they got a bit worried at one point as i was bleeding a lot at but by the ambulance and paramedic arrived baby was almost out so they sat in the yard until she was out and mws were happy the blood loss was ok and all normal.
was not as planned but really nice as i was able to chill on sofa with baby while drinking tea and eating snickers!!
she weighed a healthy 7lb 2, so much for being small and we have called her seren

Congratulations Kelly on your baby girl, love the name Seren xx x

 

[Bournefree]

Well done Kelly!!!! Great story. there's nothing like having that cup of tea in your own home after. I love her name too.
xxx

 

[urbanbumpkin]

Congratulations, Kelly!

 

[gina8177]

Congratulations Kelly!!!

 

[MandaAnda]

Congratulations, Kelly.

We drove to Wycombe today so DH could look at the Wasps shop. I ended up with a sore lower back from the walking around and standing, as I expected I would, but nothing else. Bored now. No baby. Off to cook dinner.

 

[Celesse]

Congratulations Kelly!

 

[Celesse]

I then ended up getting in a discussion with the midwife about risks of homebirth, to which she told me to " Ssssh " when I wanted to discuss the risks of a hospital birth. I was not a happy girl leaving that class today, and will not be going back for the final class next week.

At my NCT classes we where the only home birth. The teacher said to us (me and OH separately) something along the lines of not wanting to scare people who had chosen to give birth in hospital by discussing the risks above home birth. And wanting to empower them based on the choices they had already made. .... I think it was a nice way of telling me not to be too vocal on the home births. Didn't really stop me though.

What did surprise me though was how deeply ingrained the idea of needing to go into hospital was among the other couples. I mentioned about the ambulance service being aware you are labouring at home and one of the guys actually asked if they had an ambulance waiting outside your house. Having done those few months as a student midwife I had much more experience with birth's than anyone else there and yet no one seemed to put 2 and 2 together, that I had all this knowledge/experience they didn't and was choosing to have my baby at home, away from the medical environment.

 

[EternalRose]

I then ended up getting in a discussion with the midwife about risks of homebirth, to which she told me to " Ssssh " when I wanted to discuss the risks of a hospital birth. I was not a happy girl leaving that class today, and will not be going back for the final class next week.

At my NCT classes we where the only home birth. The teacher said to us (me and OH separately) something along the lines of not wanting to scare people who had chosen to give birth in hospital by discussing the risks above home birth. And wanting to empower them based on the choices they had already made. .... I think it was a nice way of telling me not to be too vocal on the home births. Didn't really stop me though.

What did surprise me though was how deeply ingrained the idea of needing to go into hospital was among the other couples. I mentioned about the ambulance service being aware you are labouring at home and one of the guys actually asked if they had an ambulance waiting outside your house. Having done those few months as a student midwife I had much more experience with birth's than anyone else there and yet no one seemed to put 2 and 2 together, that I had all this knowledge/experience they didn't and was choosing to have my baby at home, away from the medical environment.

Celesse, me and my fiance got this impression and this is where I said " Well, where do I get to talk about my birthing plans? " And she said, " Well you can, when everyone has gone.." Errr, I dont think so ..she made me feel like I was a naughty school girl that needed to be kept behind after class! Matthew was very proud of me for sticking up for myself today but I do feel drained with it all but Im staying strong still.

You make a valid point about being a healthcare professional but choosing to give birth at home, if I was them I would be questioning it. Unfortunately, my antenatal classes have taught me that there are so many people who dont really want to know and are not interested but will quite happily say with authority that I am " brave to have a homebirth "..

EternalRose x x x

 

[Celesse]

Hi Ladies,

We are approaching another weekend which always worries me as I have been warned by my midwife that there can be only one home birth at a time because of staff. This isn't generally a problem during the week as there are normal 9-5 shifts going on and someone is usually willing to go to a home birth, but at the weekend it really is a case of first come first serve. Also because of working time regulations they have to have 11 hours rest between each time they come out.

If I end up making the phone call asking for my midwife only to be told they are not available what do I do? What are my options?

 

[MandaAnda]

If there is another birth going on, one of the midwives may be able to pop in and out between the two of you. If one labour is progressing quicker, they'll be with that person. There have to be two midwives around anyway, don't there (for delivery)? So, unless another person is right at their second stage exactly when you are, it shouldn't be a problem. It'd still be the same situation where they say there's not enough staff and you *have* to come in, and you know that you don't *have* to do anything. I've thought about this scenario myself previously, but I've resolved not to let myself dwell on it.

 

[urbanbumpkin]

Celesse, you can just tell them that you have gone into labour and will be staying at home as planned and that you expect to see a midwife shortly. Then hang up!

However they may well try and dissuade you and tell you that you have to come in.

You may want someone else to call for you, that way they can say that they are just passing on the message and be all matter-of-fact about you staying at home. They could say that they are only able to pass the information that you are in labour on, and don't have the authority to negotiate, and that you aren't coming to the phone yourself. That way you don't have to get into a discussion about it.

There is an interesting section on homebirth.org.uk about staff shortages and how they know of no-one who has been left without a midwife if they have insisted on staying at home as planned.

https://www.homebirth.org.uk/homebirthuk.htm#staff

There is a section on general staffing shortages, and the next section which is 'What if you phone when you are in labour, and are told no midwives are available?' which have some good advice about wording to use when ringing up.

I hope Monday comes fast for you!

I'm off to my next midwife appointment shortly. I think she said she might want blood this time. I'm 28 weeks, what would this be for? More exciting is that I get my HIP grant form this time. I can pay myself back for the hypnobirthing - thank you government!

 

[MandaAnda]

UB, this is what I have listed in my notes that they check at 28 weeks:
Plasma glucose
Hb (mine was 11.8 and seems to be all they checked)
Antibodies (I've a positive blood type, so no need for me)
Anti D given (again, not an issue for me)

 

[urbanbumpkin]

Thanks MandaAnda. I'll go and try and find something not too sugary but full of iron for my lunch now then!

 

[trumpetbum]

Well done Kelly and congrats

 

[cupcake23]

Hello ladies, hope you are doing all well....I’ve not been able to really post as my laptop has been playing up and I dont like to use my itouch to reply to posts...always think I’m going to have too many typos.

Any way...I had my mw appt yesterday which I completely forgot about! I was still in bed when the bell rang! lol. All is well with me and baby so just waiting......

My MW is lovely but like Celesse Im worried that she won’t be able to come when I go into labour, at my trust there are only 2 homebirth mws who are on call and they work around each other, the community midwives attend as seconds...they cannot be called as the first mw.

From experience staff shortages are a problem within the NHS...that’s why women don’t get offered homebirths so readily. They will always send out a midwife if you refuse to go in BUT you have to think why they are asking you to come in...so many times I’ve seen midwives taken out of delivery suite to attend homebirths because the community mw is not able to go and we struggle without them. Obviously this is not our fault as women who choose to have a homebirth and it’s something the NHS has to sort out ASAP, it’s not a choice if you are being told that you have to come in especially when you make so many plans for a homebirth.

I suppose I'm lucky that I could have a BBA, I'm confident with what my body can do, I'm also lucky that I have the skills to deal with most emergencies but I'm even luckier that if my HB midwife can’t attend then I know I can ask any of my midwifery friends to attend instead, it’s not ideal but I have that back up, however I dont know what I would do in that situation

Any way...this might interest you all...


https://www.aims.org.uk/reclaimingbirth.htm