Hospital vs home birth?

[silver_penny]

Hun, I wasn't trying to start an arguement, but merely asking for clarification. I'm sorry if it felt like I was jumping down your throat about it, as words and tone can be misconstrued on a forum. Was just wondering if you just used that phrase because it had been brought up earlier in the discussion, or if it really mattered to you. If you look back, I completely dropped the subject after you clarified that it was a general statement.

On another note, it is important where you birth. However, it is a very personal choice, and I think that is why so many people are getting their dander up about it. My hospital birth was traumatic to me. It might not have been to someone else, but I felt undermined, belittled, abused, and alone when I was giving birth there. I should have felt none of that. I should have felt empowered, supported, loved, and safe. I felt like that birth experience was taken away from me. This is why it is so important to make informed choices before and during birth, and to let those around you know of these decisions. Yes, emergencies happen and hospitals are great places (most times) to be in an emergency. Some people feel more comfortable in a hospital, and more power to them. You can't labor properly when you are afraid. You will be fighting your body instead of working with it.

Where to birth is such a personal choice, but us homebirthers seem (note: opinion!) to get it from all sides that we are putting ourselves and our babies at risk. We have done our research and we believe that this is the best choice for us. Yes, we might get a little defensive of our choice, because we have to fight so hard for it in most cases. My wish is that everyone goes into labor informed of their options, stand up for themselves, and let their voices be heard. It is your body, your baby. Not the doctors', not the midwives', not the nurses', nor some Joe Schmuck on the street to make decisions for you. Its all about knowledge and making your voice heard (even if its your neighbor!) whether you are in hospital, at home, in an ocean, or squatting under a tree in the forest.

FYI, this post is not meant as any offense to anyone. It is purely my opinion.

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

Thanyou silverpenny, I appreciate that you weren't having a go at me, as I say, probably just emotional as I thought I was saying something nice x

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

and as I said in my first post on this thread - I am neither for or against any one type of birth in particular, I understand how important it is to feel empowered by your birth experience, just trying to get a bit of positivity going on a thread that was turning sour - nothing more, nothing less

 

[indy and lara]

Ok

The only message I was trying to put across (and I cant believe for one minute that after all of these posts that is not clear) is WHETHER YOU CHOOSE A HB OR HOSPITAL BIRTH WE ALL SHARE A COMMON GOAL - THE BEST FOR OUR BABY!!!!

Well, I personally don't think that this is true in a VERY HIGH majority of women. Lots of them just care about themselves and there own "comfort". Drugs are not what is best for your baby and yet the majority of women have drugs, you can't have more then Tylenol when your pregnant but they will pump you full of narcotics while your in labor. Doesn't sound like there thinking much about there babies.. Going through the intensity of labor IS true love and the GREATEST triumph you can make for your baby. Choosing to go against the grain because you really love your baby. That's what's best. How many people can you count that have done that? Of course I am speaking for the american population (66% have epidurals) Uk is only 25%. Which in my opinion is still high. But honestly you can't tell me you did what is best if you had drugs and pitocin and every other intervention known to man. You can rationalize it all you want. That's just not true.

I am not specifically directing this towards anyone. It's more of a general rant once I saw that specific line in the post. Just disappointed that women don't think more of themselves and there God given ability to give birth NATURALLY! (Naturally doesn't mean out you vagina either.) But the choosing hospital or home birth is true neither is RIGHT for everyone. Some people have wonderful experiences in hospitals and some people don't.

You may have apparently meant this to be a general rant but some of the comments you use in here are beyond outrageous. How dare you suggest that women care more about themselves than their child or they would not be using drugs during labour. And as for 'going against the grain because you really love your baby' Well words defy me.

What is implied by what you are saying is highly offensive. I did EXACTLY what is right for my child- how blooming dare you? ` They could do anything they wanted to me as long as this time I got to buy my child a going home outfit rather than the blanket we bought for my son's funeral. I could go on but to be honest, words fail me. I will just go back to the playing with the child that I apparently don't love as much as someone who birthed without drugs.

 

[chuck]

Ok

The only message I was trying to put across (and I cant believe for one minute that after all of these posts that is not clear) is WHETHER YOU CHOOSE A HB OR HOSPITAL BIRTH WE ALL SHARE A COMMON GOAL - THE BEST FOR OUR BABY!!!!

Well, I personally don't think that this is true in a VERY HIGH majority of women. Lots of them just care about themselves and there own "comfort". Drugs are not what is best for your baby and yet the majority of women have drugs, you can't have more then Tylenol when your pregnant but they will pump you full of narcotics while your in labor. Doesn't sound like there thinking much about there babies.. Going through the intensity of labor IS true love and the GREATEST triumph you can make for your baby. Choosing to go against the grain because you really love your baby. That's what's best. How many people can you count that have done that? Of course I am speaking for the american population (66% have epidurals) Uk is only 25%. Which in my opinion is still high. But honestly you can't tell me you did what is best if you had drugs and pitocin and every other intervention known to man. You can rationalize it all you want. That's just not true.

Well said.

I had a first labour that went on a bit and I caved and got pethadine, had synto so got an epi and it was broken so had a spinal for my EMCS too. The come down from that was shocking because thats what it was the worst drugs come down ever. No wonder it took me months to come to terms with the fact the baby I was given was mine,. He felt like a stranger because the first days with him I was on major narcotic come down.

Why people willingly pump them selves full of dangerous poisons when they are having a normal birth is beyond me...instruments/augmentation/CS fair do's.

...but then far too many women end up with the interventions I just listed simply because they go to hospital and they're put on a timetable not because they really need them.

 

[PinkGlitter87]

Personally I believe that having a home birth is dangerous. Sometimes (although rarely) there are emergencies during labor (like cord prolapse or baby getting stuck) and they have to be delt with within 2 min or less. They monitor you very well at the hospital. You can have a midwife delivery and as much as a natural birth you want in the hospital as well, but they have the resources they need should things go wrong quickly. Unfortunately I have seen some very sad cases of home births ( I am a NICU nurse).

I agree, i think its better to be in hospital because if anything goes wrong its the best possible place. Obviously if anything went wrong during a home birth you would be rushed straight to hospital but i think when it turns bad every minute counts and i wouldnt wanna take the risk!
Maybe i would feel different if it wasnt my first x x x

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

Ok

The only message I was trying to put across (and I cant believe for one minute that after all of these posts that is not clear) is WHETHER YOU CHOOSE A HB OR HOSPITAL BIRTH WE ALL SHARE A COMMON GOAL - THE BEST FOR OUR BABY!!!!

Well, I personally don't think that this is true in a VERY HIGH majority of women. Lots of them just care about themselves and there own "comfort". Drugs are not what is best for your baby and yet the majority of women have drugs, you can't have more then Tylenol when your pregnant but they will pump you full of narcotics while your in labor. Doesn't sound like there thinking much about there babies.. Going through the intensity of labor IS true love and the GREATEST triumph you can make for your baby. Choosing to go against the grain because you really love your baby. That's what's best. How many people can you count that have done that? Of course I am speaking for the american population (66% have epidurals) Uk is only 25%. Which in my opinion is still high. But honestly you can't tell me you did what is best if you had drugs and pitocin and every other intervention known to man. You can rationalize it all you want. That's just not true.

I am not specifically directing this towards anyone. It's more of a general rant once I saw that specific line in the post. Just disappointed that women don't think more of themselves and there God given ability to give birth NATURALLY! (Naturally doesn't mean out you vagina either.) But the choosing hospital or home birth is true neither is RIGHT for everyone. Some people have wonderful experiences in hospitals and some people don't.

Everything I did and ever will do was in my opinion the very best for my children. I dont know how you can say that if ladies had any drugs during childbirth that they were only worried about themselves. That is outrageous.

 

[SyllyPoohBear]

SO what your saying is your offended because it's true... lol Your telling me drugs are good for your baby? Good luck supporting that one..

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

SO what your saying is your offended because it's true... lol Your telling me drugs are good for your baby? Good luck supporting that one..

I am actually lost for words. I think there are ways of putting your point across and I think by offending every woman on here who has ever used pain relief (via drugs) in labour is not really cool. Its your choice not to use drugs in labour - good for you, but by making a sweeping statement that every lady who has used them in labour was only bothered about themselves and not the good of their baby is outrageous and offensive to many.

 

[DLA]

Ok

The only message I was trying to put across (and I cant believe for one minute that after all of these posts that is not clear) is WHETHER YOU CHOOSE A HB OR HOSPITAL BIRTH WE ALL SHARE A COMMON GOAL - THE BEST FOR OUR BABY!!!!

Well, I personally don't think that this is true in a VERY HIGH majority of women. Lots of them just care about themselves and there own "comfort". Drugs are not what is best for your baby and yet the majority of women have drugs, you can't have more then Tylenol when your pregnant but they will pump you full of narcotics while your in labor. Doesn't sound like there thinking much about there babies.. Going through the intensity of labor IS true love and the GREATEST triumph you can make for your baby. Choosing to go against the grain because you really love your baby. That's what's best. How many people can you count that have done that? Of course I am speaking for the american population (66% have epidurals) Uk is only 25%. Which in my opinion is still high. But honestly you can't tell me you did what is best if you had drugs and pitocin and every other intervention known to man. You can rationalize it all you want. That's just not true.

I am not specifically directing this towards anyone. It's more of a general rant once I saw that specific line in the post. Just disappointed that women don't think more of themselves and there God given ability to give birth NATURALLY! (Naturally doesn't mean out you vagina either.) But the choosing hospital or home birth is true neither is RIGHT for everyone. Some people have wonderful experiences in hospitals and some people don't.

I think it's disgusting that you suggest a mother choosing drugs only cares about her own comfort. I don't care what statistic you spout. I trust my obstetrician and think she might know a bit more than me, seeing as I didn't go to medical school and don't deliver babies everyday. If a woman is comfortable with her medical care and wants an epi I hardly see how that makes her only caring about herself. Personally, I would like to be calm, happy and not screaming when I bring my baby into the world and if drugs make that happen, I'm fine with it. I think it's great women that don't want drugs, their choice but why are woman who choose drugs so judged? How lousy.. Not sure what your intention was by stating something so ridiculous and insulting.

 

[wishingonastar]

Was sitting typing response to syllypoohbear explaining how ridiculous and contradictory her posts are IMO, but truth be told I actually can't be arsed

 

[moomin_troll]

i may not word it the same way as SyllyPoohBear but its true! a epidural and other drugs arent good for the baby at all so i dont see how someone could say them having a epidural was good for their baby.

they used the epidural for themselves. im not saying i dont agree with pain relief, it is there for a good reason and if a woman wants to use it then fine. but u cant say its good for the baby

 

[JackiePed]

It wasnt one person if you look back but do you know what, thats fine.

Nope, it was one poster. Read it back yourself and you'll see. Silver penny asked for clarification of assisted homebirth and I explained after that why it mattered that the term assisted homebirth had been used. No-one jumped on you at all! I even said in my post that you may not have even known that there was a difference and that it probably wasn't meant to be provocative! To say that you were jumped on about this is actually unfair as that is not the case.

--I know there is a much bigger debate going on here now, but CosmicGirl is being too nice and not bothering to correct you... she wasn't saying she got 'attacked' for SilverPenny's comment. That seemed to blow over quickly. She is referring to what blew up when she and a few others used some variation of the term "having a healthy baby is what matters" and it was taken out of context.

 

[indy and lara]

If a mother is not managing to cope with pain during labour then I am sure that having an epi would be a better situation all round. But hey, what do I know as I apparently didn't love my baby as much as those who had no interventions or pain relief.

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

If a mothef is not managing to cope with pain during labour then I am sure that having an epi would be a better situation all round. But hey, what do I know as I apparently didn't love my baby as much as those who had no interventions or pain relief.

Thats not true hun, you did what was best for you and your lo, dont dare let anyone tell you any different

 

[moomin_troll]

if people want to over react then go ahead ur only pissing urself off. if pain relief is best for u then fine, my mum loves epidurals but i dont want one.

having one not having one doesnt make either a better person/mother but its fact that drugs arent good for the baby

 

[JackiePed]

Well, I personally don't think that this is true in a VERY HIGH majority of women. Lots of them just care about themselves and there own "comfort". Drugs are not what is best for your baby and yet the majority of women have drugs, you can't have more then Tylenol when your pregnant but they will pump you full of narcotics while your in labor. Doesn't sound like there thinking much about there babies.. Going through the intensity of labor IS true love and the GREATEST triumph you can make for your baby. Choosing to go against the grain because you really love your baby. That's what's best. How many people can you count that have done that? Of course I am speaking for the american population (66% have epidurals) Uk is only 25%. Which in my opinion is still high. But honestly you can't tell me you did what is best if you had drugs and pitocin and every other intervention known to man. You can rationalize it all you want. That's just not true.

I am not specifically directing this towards anyone. It's more of a general rant once I saw that specific line in the post. Just disappointed that women don't think more of themselves and there God given ability to give birth NATURALLY! (Naturally doesn't mean out you vagina either.) But the choosing hospital or home birth is true neither is RIGHT for everyone. Some people have wonderful experiences in hospitals and some people don't.

Gosh... I am ALMOST wondering if this rude, judgemental, militant woman just jumped on here to cause trouble. Where did you come from, and who do you think you are...?
You just took this to the next level when it was absolutely not necessary at all. Nobody was even discussing pain medication, regardless.

You can say all you want that you don't agree with, like, or believe in pain medication. In fact, if you tactfully agreed that many of the choices ALL women make about their birthing experiences are, deep down, self-centered choices... I'd even have been fine with that. Many, many choices that people make are technically 'selfish' choices and we don't even realize it. Shoot, most of our choices to have babies are selfishly motivated-- most people don't choose to have a baby FOR THE BABY's sake... we choose to have a baby because we want an addition to our family...because we feel it's right for us...

But to say that these women actually do NOT care most about their babies is beyond disgusting. Homebirthers are willing to take a small risk with themselves and their babies in order to have the birthing experience that they want...because they know that it will likely be wonderful and complication-free. Those who opt for pain medication are ALSO willing to take a small risk with themselves and their babies in order to have the birthing experience that they want, because they know they will have memories of childbirth beyond just pain.
^Please don't bother to throw statistics at me and argue with these statements... I have done my research too, so relax. I know all the statistics from valid sources, and that wasn't meant to fuel the war, but to draw a parallel.

All of the women on this board are women who already love their babies, love the children they've already had, and live every day sacrificing their own needs for the needs of their children.

Get off your high horse. It's great and all that you have choices and goals that you are working towards and reaching, and if they give you a sense of purpose and accomplishment, then they are clearly for you.
But don't come in here and act as if you are part of an elite group.

it amazes me... if some of us were just blurt out half of what we think right now (like you did) then we'd get steamrolled for being insensitive or whatnot. But because you are another member of the natural-birthing club.... you get away with saying whatever you want?
Ridiculous.

I can't believe how many times I deleted what I really wanted to say here.

 

[SyllyPoohBear]

It's not that you love your baby less it's that you chose to be selfish and not think about your baby. You chose to think about you. And you can't say that isn't truth. In that moment you chose that your comfort was more important. My last and final word.

 

[Pixie2320]

SO what your saying is your offended because it's true... lol Your telling me drugs are good for your baby? Good luck supporting that one..

I am actually lost for words. I think there are ways of putting your point across and I think by offending every woman on here who has ever used pain relief (via drugs) in labour is not really cool. Its your choice not to use drugs in labour - good for you, but by making a sweeping statement that every lady who has used them in labour was only bothered about themselves and not the good of their baby is outrageous and offensive to many.

I can't help but hope her next birth is by c-section, without pain killers or an epi or anything of course- because women used to do it that way when needed

 

[indy and lara]

Overreact my elbow. Comments like the one by Syllypoohbear need to be challenged as they are offensive. If comments like these were made on a ff and bf thread there would be mutiny. I never had an epi in either birth but the world would not have ended if I had.